Dad's Guide to Twins

About Dad's Guide to Twins

Survive the twin pregnancy and thrive as a father of twins

Publisher

Joe Rawlinson, twin pregnancy and raising twins expert

Category

kids & family

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

29 Jul 2020

Latest episode

12 Aug 2026

Latest episodes

135 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   12 Aug 2026

   Aerospace Engineer Shares Twin Parenting Tips and Prepares for Another Set of Twins with Russell Newman – Podcast 348

   Episode 348 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Russell Newman, father of twin boys, a singleton daughter, and expecting fraternal boy/girl twins. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including: Why they needed to move after finding out about their first set of twins When the twins spent 2 weeks in NICU and had therapeutic hypothermia Applying an engineer mindset to parenting young children How they involved grandparents after the birth of the children Why a mix of au pairs and preschool after 6 months worked well for their family What twin gear they will use again First twin pregnancy vs second twin pregnancy Sleeping arrangements for children when the family grows How they successfully potty trained their twin boys over a weekend and more… Connect with Russell via his website russellnewman.com (https://russellnewman.com/) or on Twitter (https://x.com/RussReadsBooks). Get Russell’s book Rocket Science for Kids: An Easy-to-Understand Guide (Engineering for Kids) on Amazon (https://amzn.to/4eyrMPC) or save 15% and order directly from the publisher here (https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=r3AhLUrZBWm9nmPumkh52npB2nBPI7oU3i6ZJ8Nal2s). Podcast Transcript This is transcript auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes. INTRO (Joe Rawlinson): Today we are continuing our father of twins interview series with a father of three, including identical twin boys — plus they’re expecting their second set of twins. We discuss the differences between this twin pregnancy and the first one, some of the things they learned along their journey that they’re going to change or do the same with the second set of twins, and so much more today on the podcast. Today’s show is brought to you by my first book for dads of twins. It is called Dad’s Guide to Twins: How to Survive the Twin Pregnancy and Prepare for Your Twins (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twindadbook/). If you’re expecting twins, this is the perfect book to pick up to help you get through the pregnancy, know what to expect, some of the challenges that may be coming your way, and how to get ready and excited for those twins and get through those first couple months. You can pick up a copy at twindadbook.com. Today, I’d like to welcome to the show a fellow father of twins, soon-to-be father of twins again, and author of the book Rocket Science for Kids (https://amzn.to/4eyrMPC). Welcome to the show, Russ Newman. RUSS: Thanks for having me. JOE: Welcome, Russell. Tell us a little about your family right now — how many kids do you have, what are their ages, and what’s fun about this time of life? RUSS: Yeah, so let’s see. I have twin boys — identical — Lucas and Marcus, who just turned four. I have a daughter, Diana, who just turned two. And I also have a pair of fraternal twins due in October, so soon it’ll be a family of five. Me and my wife are both aerospace engineers. It’s super exciting. I just love my kids and I’m so happy that we’re going to have such a big family soon. JOE: That’s fantastic. My background’s in engineering too — computer engineering in college, more software. Aerospace always fascinates me, so I think that’s amazing that you and your wife were both in aerospace. That’s pretty cool. JOE: So when you found out that you would be having your first twins, what was the family situation like at that time? How did you react to that news? RUSS: I was secretly hoping for twins. I love kids. When my wife got pregnant and we went to our first doctor’s appointment for the ultrasound, I could tell that the ultrasound technician was being a little cagey. Then she told us it was twins. My wife started crying and I was so overjoyed. But yeah, it sort of threw us for a little bit of a loop because we lived at the time in a nice high-rise apartment in downtown Los Angeles. We’re like, “Okay, if we have two babies, we don’t have enough space, and we’re probably going to need the grandparents.” So we moved to El Segundo where we could have three bedrooms and let the grandparents stay with us. We had twins and grandparents help us out as my wife went through her maternity leave. Both of our workplaces were very supportive, and yeah, that got us through the first six months. JOE: That’s fantastic. Moving from the big city — were you still having to commute for work, or was there a remote work situation? RUSS: At the time, my wife was working remote and I actually got a new job in El Segundo. So it ended up being really fantastic — such a short commute. El Segundo is such a nice walkable city. I take my kids on walks every single day going outside. I love it. JOE: Are the twins in some kind of daycare or preschool right now? RUSS: Yeah, we’ve done a mix of au pairs and preschool. After the grandparents moved out in the first six months, we had an au pair from Brazil who stayed with us and helped us with all the childcare related to the twins. Then once my daughter was born, the boys were old enough to go to preschool — which actually happened to be right on our block so we could walk them to school. The au pair cared for Diana during the day. Now more recently, all three of them are eligible for preschool, so all three of them go. We do a fantastic morning walk that goes circuitously around the neighborhood — we get to look at bugs, look at plants — and then we just end the walk at preschool. Then I pick them up from school and cook them dinner. We’ve done a mix of preschool and au pair. The au pair program is fantastic (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/podcast290/). Going forward, it’ll be preschool plus grandparents, and then I’d probably say in six months or so, we’ll get another au pair to care for the new twins until they’re eligible to go to preschool around two or two and a half. JOE: That’s a great setup. For other twin parents interested in the au pair route, how did you go about finding someone that was a good fit for your family? RUSS: It’s sort of like interviewing someone for a job. The United States has a very structured program. You find a good agency and they’ll already have a vetted group of au pairs. Then you just sort of interview them — see if they’re a good fit for your family, if you vibe with them, if you think they’d be good with the kids. You chat and video chat and then you narrow it down. They’re going to be basically a family member living in your house for a year. We’ve done it with two au pairs and they both were fantastic, and both renewed for an extra year — two years and two years. What’s nice too is the first au pair helped us interview the second one, so they could talk in Portuguese directly and act as our references. It’s very economical compared to other forms of childcare like preschool, nannies, or daycare. We’ve done a mix of all of that — au pairs plus preschool plus grandparents — and it really lets us get the best of everything. JOE: Yeah, absolutely. Childcare is a huge expense (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twin-day-care-costs/). When you’ve got more than one kid in childcare, these creative solutions are actually more economical, which is fantastic. JOE: So you had the boys, and then you find out you’d be having your daughter. What was that transition like going from twins to having three? RUSS: Having the boys — the twins — was such a gauntlet that having the daughter, everything was a piece of cake. It’s so funny. Doing diapers was like, “Oh, it’s only 10 diapers a day, not 20 diapers a day.” There was a lot of challenge and sleep deprivation with the twins, but man, having one after two was so much easier. We didn’t even really need that much grandparents’ help. I think we went back to just 100% au pair care after two months and we were just back in the groove being super parents. JOE: You already know how to do so many different things with the twins that it’s just old hat to have only half as much work with the next one. RUSS: That’s right. JOE: So now as you look ahead to your next set of twins — what are some of the things where you’re like, “Okay, I remember this”? What are you looking forward to, or what challenges do you expect? RUSS: We had to do a lot of experimentation to try to get our routines in, and I think we’re a lot better about that now. One of our little life hacks — we’re engineers, so we actually have a full-size whiteboard, a wheel-around whiteboard we use for engineering diagrams. We made that our master schedule and note-taking system. We have a whiteboard in the living room, and we write down when they went down for naps, when we fed them, all the notes for all the shifts. Just used that for our cadence about what to do next. When our twins arrive, we’re going to break out our old bag of tricks and just survive. I think this next set of twins is going to be harder than the first, but we’ll just be more experienced about it. JOE: Did you keep any of the infant twin gear that you’ll be using again this time? RUSS: Yeah, we kept everything. We knew there was a small probability we’d have twins again, so we actually have two of everything and kept it all in storage — two car seats, the small infant car seats. We have all the little newborn sleep wrappers. We have tons of our bottles and everything. We also kept our twin stroller, the little tandem side-by-side stroller. So we’ll break that back out again. We only used about half of it when we had Diana, but we kept it all. JOE: That’s great. All our parents have their twins and then they’re like, “We’re never doing this again” — and then sometimes things work out a little differently. JOE: How was the division of labor between you and your wife and the au pair when you all got back to work? RUSS: It was a very regular schedule (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/get-twins-same-schedule/). The au pair basically handled the work hours when we would be at work. I took point on the mornings and evenings — I helped the kids wake up, my wife would cook breakfast, and then I would help get the kids to preschool. Around 8:30, the au pair would take over for Diana, and then we’d all leave for work. I would come back around 5:30, pick up the kids from preschool, and take over from the au pair. Then my wife would come home from work, we’d have dinner, and then we’d start the bedtime routine. JOE: Is there anything you would change with that now as you’re going to be going through that process again? RUSS: That battle rhythm seemed to be the best. Now that we have preschool in the mix, it’s going to be grandparents all-hands-on-deck for the first three to six months. After that, the older kids will go to preschool and the new twins will stay with the au pair during the day while we’re at work. I work from home now, so I have a lot more flexibility, which is really nice. When the boys were six months old and started with the au pair, it was really fantastic — they got so much private attention. She’d take the kids to the park once or twice a day, put them down for their nap, read them books, let them play in the living room, and help with all the laundry and tidying up kids’ toys, just really running a tight ship. I think the au pair really helped our kids be super social and fun because they get so much more outdoor time and one-on-one time compared to if they were at daycare. From six months to two years, they got so much more park time and fun time — and they love going to school now because they’re learning how to read. But it’s really fun just having them go to the park and swing. JOE: So now you’re two or three months away from having your next round of twins. Where are you in the pregnancy? RUSS: We just passed week 20. My wife just passed the halfway mark — a little more than halfway, because twins typically don’t make it all the way to 40 weeks. JOE: How many weeks were your boys born? RUSS: My wife’s an absolute trooper. They were born at 38 weeks and one day, and I think they were around six and a half pounds apiece, which was a very healthy weight for twins. JOE: That is really good — 38 weeks and good weight. Any complications with the first twin pregnancy? RUSS: In the beginning, just the usual stuff — nausea, lack of appetite. It was really good towards the end, though she grew very large. It’s not like she ate a basketball; it’s more like she ate a beach ball. It almost gets comedic how large your wife can grow. Really, the only hard part was the last week because of a lot of water retention and swelling in her hands and feet. The rest of it was just the normal being uncomfortable — not being able to eat, heartburn. But besides the last week, absolute trooper. We went in for delivery trying for a regular birth, but due to the water retention and swelling, we had to go for an emergency C-section. We had picked out a really good hospital with a great NICU and resources. When our doctor called for the C-section, the boys were out in 13 minutes. It was really fast. They gave us a little bit of a fright because they were getting distressed during delivery — not enough space for two very large babies. They actually spent two weeks in the NICU. They had to undergo what’s called therapeutic hypothermia, where because they were so distressed, they lowered their core body temperature and kept them essentially asleep for several days, then let them slowly warm up while being monitored. It really helps prevent brain damage or other after-effects from not having 100% oxygen delivery. Out of an abundance of caution, they went through the therapeutic hypothermia and slowly warmed up. It was really stressful and pretty scary for us. But after they were back and awake, they had so much energy and were wonderful little boys — no ill effects of any kind whatsoever from the birthing process. We’re very grateful for that. JOE: So in the moment, you had a change of plans from natural birth to emergency C-section. And then when they were born, it sounds like it looked like something was wrong. Is that what your experience was like? RUSS: Yeah, they were basically born unconscious. They were squirming around and having trouble, and they started tangling with the umbilical cord. So the doctor called for emergency C-section. 13 minutes later, one was out; one minute after that, the second one was out. Yeah, they were born unconscious, which was a little bit of a fright. But modern medicine — we were in a Level 4 NICU — and they did everything right. Absolutely no ill effects. We’re just so grateful to the doctors. And we plan to do the same thing this time around — give birth in a Level 4 hospital. JOE: Are you all trying for a vaginal birth or going straight to C-section this time? RUSS: No, we’ll try for vaginal birth again. Diana was born vaginally — my wife is absolutely fantastic. From start of pushing to baby being born was 57 minutes. We don’t know if we can do a vaginal birth again with the twins just because there might be more complications — more swelling, not enough room, other effects that just throw a wrench in our plans. But we’ll try for it and see how well they cooperate. JOE: So now you’re 20 weeks into this round — how have the pregnancies compared to each other, twin versus twin, or even twin versus singleton? RUSS: No problems right now. I’m sure the second half is going to be a lot harder than the first half. But my wife is starting to show now, breaking out more of her old clothes, wearing more blazers. She’s already told people at work, and she’s actually switching jobs — the new job also knows she’s pregnant. We’re just so grateful. It’s going to be really fun having our growing family. JOE: You mentioned moving from LA with the first kids. Are you having to move again or upsize your house, or are you going to fit everybody where you are? RUSS: No, we’re going to try to stay where we’re at, just so we’re close to the doctor. Our au pair is ending her contract, and that will free up our third bedroom for the grandparents, which really helps us. We have very economical rent, so we want to stay here as long as possible. All three of the kids actually sleep in the same room, and they absolutely love it. So it’ll be: me and my wife’s bedroom, the third room for the grandparents, and the middle room where the older kids sleep. We’ll have the new babies sleep in the bassinet in our bedroom for the first six months, and then we’ll have to figure out what to do after that. Probably more bunk beds in the kids’ room. JOE: Yeah, just make a big bunkhouse — a dormitory! RUSS: Exactly, yeah. JOE: For your first twins, the boys, were they in your room as well for those first several months? RUSS: Yeah, for the first six months they slept in the bassinets — the computerized bassinets, the SNOO. We absolutely love those. They were in our master bedroom: one on her side of the bed, one at the foot of my side of the bed. Then at six months they sort of outgrew that and we put them in the middle room. It’s sort of funny — in the beginning, we didn’t have any cribs. We did floor beds from IKEA, nice and firm, about four inches thick. We had two of them set on either side of the room, and they would take their naps there. But then they would always crawl across the room to go sleep with their brother. Every morning or every nap, we would find them both sleeping together. We eventually said, “Why do we have two floor beds? Let’s just make one.” And they kept sleeping in one floor bed in a big pile until I got them their bunk beds. It’s actually a really nice travel cot that’s also a bunk bed — we can bring it when we visit the grandparents. They rotate between the floor bed and either the top or bottom of the bunk bed, all in a big pile together. JOE: We had separate cribs too, but when our girls started getting older, they actually wanted to be in the same bed together for a while. It’s always fascinating with twins at that age — how they interact with each other. Like you mentioned, crossing the room to go sleep with each other. Very fascinating. We’d had singletons before, and they didn’t have that interaction — the squawking at each other, always wanting to be near each other, touching each other when they’re very young. That’s a fun part of twin parenting. RUSS: Yeah. For our kids’ room, we baby-proofed 100% of the room — that was actually one of our little life hacks. They had their floor bed and a small selection of toys. They would just wake up naturally at like 6 in the morning and either talk to each other, babble to each other, or crawl over and play with their toys. That could let us sleep until like 7 in the morning. Because we didn’t have cribs, we didn’t need to go get them out of a crib — they could just wake up on their own schedule and play. Then we would get them out at 7. JOE: That’s a great setup. I love how you created a safe room for them. It does give you some added benefits — they can be self-sufficient without you needing to move them from A to B all the time. JOE: Any other engineering masterpieces in your house that have been great for parenting? RUSS: We have our stroller. We always get compliments every time we go out. It’s a beast — a four-person stroller, literally the largest one I could ever find. It’s made by Keenz, a big four-kid wagon stroller (https://amzn.to/4vayIZb). It weighs like 50 pounds, but it’s absolutely awesome. We take the kids to the air show and we have change of clothes, snacks, lunches, jackets — we can just toss it all in this giant wagon and have the kids on the bench seats. Our wagon has been such a trooper carrying three or four kids plus a bunch of gear. It’s getting pretty beat up and I’m probably going to buy a new one, but that giant monster of a wagon stroller has been a lifesaver. JOE: Yeah, that’s one thing that catches you off guard — how much stuff you need to take with you. It’s not just the kids, but the diaper bag supplies, snacks, change of clothes, everything. RUSS: We’ve gotten pretty light now that they’re four and two. Sometimes I can walk to our local farmer’s market with no diaper bag because they’re potty trained. All three of us just walk together, get some popcorn and some french fries, have some fun, then walk home. But once we have babies, we’re going to have a big reset with bottles and diapers and all that gear again. JOE: Yeah, somebody will be walking or wanting to push the stroller with the new babies, I’m sure. You mentioned potty training — any tricks that worked? RUSS: We read a really good book called Oh Crap! Potty Training (https://amzn.to/4eTmcaI). It doesn’t quite work in three days, but you can get like 75% of the way there in three days, which is actually really good. They were potty trained somewhere around two. Diana has been hitting her milestones always much faster than my boys. We found what they liked — Peanut M&Ms. We always had a little tiny Tupperware jar full of them. They always got one for going pee, two for going poop, and it was always tons of celebration and hype. What we did was a big ceremony over a three-day weekend — we called it “Big Boy No Diapers.” We got a box out and collected all the diapers in the house. They all threw them in the box, chanting “Big Boy No Diapers!” We gave them their underwear in a big fanfare, then took the box of diapers out and threw it away. On that weekend, we fed them as many snacks as we could. They were just around the house in their underwear. I got them miniature CamelBaks and filled them with water — we were just trying to get them to drink as much as possible. We fed them salty chips and tried to get them to go pee every 30 to 45 minutes, nonstop for three days. That was the kickstart to the potty training (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/how-to-potty-train-twins/). From there on, they were about 75% potty trained. There’s a long tail — it takes a long time to get to 100% — but it was amazing to go from 20 diapers a day to only one or two accidents a day, then only a few accidents a week. And of course now they’re 100% potty trained. Big Boy No Diapers — ceremoniously throw all the diapers, do a big thing, get their big-boy underwear, make them wear their CamelBaks. So they’re running around on their scooters inside the house sucking on the little hydration hose. JOE: Yeah, that’s a great setup. JOE: So Russ, let’s talk a little bit about your book. You’ve written Rocket Science for Kids. What was the impetus for this book? RUSS: I’m a rocket scientist. I worked at SpaceX and a couple of other rocket companies, and I’m super interested in space. I had this idea — I have kids, I want to buy a book that talks about rockets. When I actually looked at what books were available and bought basically every book I could find, I found there was a missing segment. There’s a bunch of baby books that are very silly — “Rocket goes up, zoom!” — and there’s a bunch of books for middle schoolers with 200 words a page. There actually was no high-quality book meant for kids ages four to five that was a true introduction to rocket science. So I decided to make one. I asked my wife if I could do it and we agreed. It was a passion project. I had to go find an illustrator — interviewed a few, found one that I really jived with, really liked her art style. Then over the course of four years, I helped her do all the illustrations, dialed it all in, and created what I think is the best book on rocket science for young kids. It’s only a thousand words, 100% technically accurate, and has over 60 pages of full watercolor illustrations with animals explaining every single detail of rocket science. It’s full of totally real engineering. I started before the kids were born and only got to publish it last year. It’s really hard to make a children’s picture book, but I’m just so proud of it. I’ve been getting so many great reviews. My kids have seen every single version of it — as I drafted the book, I would show them the manuscript and edit each page. It’s really hard to explain rocket science in only a thousand words without getting into gibberish baby talk. JOE: Well, it’s not easy to write a book. It’s not easy to do that while raising small children, and it’s definitely hard to mix in rocket science and simplify concepts so they can be understood by children. So congratulations on the launch of your book and the good reviews you’ve had so far. If listeners want to pick up a copy, where should they go? RUSS: It’s available on Amazon (https://amzn.to/4eyrMPC) and everywhere books are sold. I can also provide a link for the show notes where you can buy it direct from my publisher (https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=r3AhLUrZBWm9nmPumkh52npB2nBPI7oU3i6ZJ8Nal2s) at a lower price than Amazon. JOE: Fantastic. I’ll link that up in the show notes for everybody listening so you can pick up your own copy and help those future rocket scientists. JOE: Russ, as we wrap up today — in addition to the book, if listeners want to connect with you, what’s the best way to reach out? RUSS: They can reach out to me on my personal website at russellnewman.com (https://russellnewman.com/), or they can follow me on social media. I have the same handle everywhere, which is @RussReadsBooks (https://x.com/RussReadsBooks) — I’m most active on Twitter. JOE: Fantastic. I’ll link up to all that on the show notes as well so people can connect and reach out. Russ, thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. We really appreciate it. RUSS: Yeah, thanks so much. OUTRO (Joe Rawlinson): I hope you enjoyed that conversation with Russ about his adventures as a father of twins, plus one, and soon to be an additional set of twins. You’ll find all the show notes for this episode, including links to his book and how to contact Russ, over at TwinDadPodcast.com. If you would like to share your story like Russ did today, I would love to hear from you — email me at joe@dadsguidetotwins.com, or find me on Instagram and X at @TwinDadJoe. If you’re still expecting your twins, I invite you to pick up a copy of my book, Dad’s Guide to Twins, at TwinDadBook.com. Thank you so much for listening, and I’ll see you next time. Subscribe to the Podcast To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below: Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dads-guide-to-twins/id498559992) Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4EDZpfymBFDyWSCzs2oZPX?si=aedbcca9334d40fd) Subscribe via RSS (non-iTunes feed) (https://www.dadsguidetotwins.com/feed/podcast) Share Your Thoughts Please let me know what you think of this episode of the podcast, you can contact me with any questions or comments (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/ask-joe/) or leave a comment on the blog. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It will help other parents of twins find the show! Download the Podcast Download the podcast in .mp3 format (https://traffic.libsyn.com/twindad/dads-guide-to-twins-episode-348.mp3) (right click and “save as…”) The post Aerospace Engineer Shares Twin Parenting Tips and Prepares for Another Set of Twins with Russell Newman – Podcast 348 (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/podcast348/) appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins (https://dadsguidetotwins.com).

2. 

   27 May 2026

   Are Your Twins Ready for Preschool? Signs Every Twin Parent Should Watch For

   Figuring out if your twins are ready for preschool is one of those parenting decisions that sounds simple until you actually have to make it, twice, for two kids who may be in very different places developmentally (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/common-developmental-delays-in-twins/). The good news? There are real, concrete signs to look for. And once you know what to watch for, the decision gets a whole lot clearer. ⚡ Quick Takeaways Twins preschool readiness is about more than age. Look for social, emotional, and self-care cues. Your twins may be ready at different times, and that’s completely normal. The question of whether to send them to the same classroom or separate classrooms is worth thinking through early. Most children start preschool between ages 2.5 and 3, but there’s no universal magic number. Trust your gut, but use these signs as your checklist. When Should Twins Start Preschool? Most preschools accept children starting around age 2.5 to 3, with some programs beginning as early as 2. But age alone doesn’t tell the whole story. Readiness is about developmental milestones, not just the number of candles on the birthday cake. According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) (https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/13-tips-starting-preschool), preschool readiness is a combination of social, emotional, language, and self-care skills. Your twins might hit all of these at the same time, or one of your kids might be a step or two ahead of the other. Both scenarios are perfectly fine. Sign #1: They’re Showing Interest in Other Kids One of the clearest green lights for preschool is when your child starts actively seeking out other kids to play with. For most toddlers, this starts to kick in around age 2 to 3. Your twins already have a built-in playmate, which is a genuine advantage, but that doesn’t mean they’re automatically ready to navigate a full classroom of new peers. Watch for signs like your twins trying to engage with kids at the playground (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twins-build-friendships-with-others/), showing curiosity about other children at church or the grocery store, or getting excited when they see other kids playing nearby. If your twins are mostly content to play with each other and show little interest in joining a group, they may just need a little more time. Of course, having a twin sibling can actually make this transition easier. Your kids already know how to share space, take turns (at least some of the time), and work alongside another person. That’s a social head start most singleton kids don’t have walking through the preschool door. Sign #2: They Can Handle Short Separations From You Preschool means time away from mom and dad. If drop-offs at grandma’s house still result in full meltdowns thirty minutes in, preschool might feel overwhelming right now. Emotional readiness for preschool is largely about a child’s ability to self-regulate and feel safe without a parent nearby. A good baseline is whether your twins can spend a couple of hours with a trusted adult (a grandparent, a babysitter, a family friend) without extended distress. A few tears at drop-off is totally normal and expected, even for ready kids. But if the separation anxiety is intense and prolonged (https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/13-tips-starting-preschool), it may be worth waiting a bit or doing some practice runs first. One thing to keep in mind with twins: they often provide emotional comfort to each other. Your twins might handle separation from you better than many singletons simply because they always have their co-pilot with them. That’s one of the unexpected perks of having two at once. 💡 Quick Tips: Ways to Practice Separation Before Preschool Arrange short playdates where you leave your twins with another parent for an hour Try a drop-off story time at your local library Practice a consistent goodbye routine so your kids know what to expect Keep goodbyes short and confident, lingering makes it harder for kids Sign #3: They Have Basic Self-Care Skills Preschool teachers are wonderful, but they’re managing a whole classroom. Your twins will need a baseline of independence to keep up. These don’t need to be perfect, but some comfort with basic self-care goes a long way. Look for these self-care readiness signs in your twins: Can use the toilet independently (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/how-to-potty-train-twins/) (or is close to it, many preschools accept children still working on this) Can wash and dry their hands Can feed themselves with a spoon or fork Can put on and take off their own shoes, at least with some effort Can communicate basic needs like hunger, thirst, or needing to use the bathroom Most children are developmentally ready for a preschool environment somewhere between ages 2.5 and 3. The self-care piece is a big part of that equation. Sign #4: Their Language Skills Are Coming Along Your twins don’t need to be giving speeches, but they do need enough language to communicate with teachers and classmates. This means being able to express basic wants and feelings, follow simple two-step instructions (“Put your backpack in your cubby and sit on the rug”), and understand what’s being said to them. It’s worth knowing that twins, on average, can experience slight speech delays (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twins-not-talking/) compared to singletons. Twins may also develop a private communication style between each other (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twins-have-their-own-language/) that can temporarily slow the development of broader language skills. This isn’t a red flag; it’s just something to be aware of. If you have any concerns about your twins’ speech development, check in with your pediatrician before the preschool decision. Many areas offer free early intervention speech services for toddlers, and preschool itself can actually be a fantastic environment for language growth. Sign #5: They Can Follow Basic Instructions Preschool runs on routine and group expectations. Your twins don’t need to be perfectly compliant little robots (and honestly, if they were, I’d be concerned), but they do need the ability to follow simple directions and participate in structured group activities, even briefly. Watch for whether your twins can sit for a short book or activity, follow a two-step instruction, and shift from one activity to another without a complete meltdown. If group time at home ends in chaos every single time, your twins might need a few more months of practice before stepping into a classroom setting. That said, preschool is also where kids learn these skills. It doesn’t have to be perfect before they walk through the door. Teachers are trained for this. Should Your Twins Be in the Same Preschool Classroom or Separate Ones? This is the question every twin parent wrestles with, and there’s no single right answer. It really comes down to your specific kids and what your gut tells you about their relationship and individual personalities. Consider Same Classroom If: Your twins are very shy or anxious and comfort each other They’re starting preschool on the younger side and the security of being together would help Their developmental and social levels are similar You want a simpler, more streamlined drop-off experience (no shame in this) Consider Separate Classrooms If: One twin tends to dominate the relationship and the other holds back They’re socially confident and curious about other kids You want them to develop their own individual identities and friendships Their school has a policy on twin placement (worth asking early) Turns out, research actually leans slightly toward separating twins in school as they get older, noting benefits in independence and individual identity development. A guidance report from the Twins and Multiple Births Association (TAMBA) (https://twinstrust.org/information/parenting/education/primary/together-or-apart.html) suggests that separation tends to become more beneficial as children move through school, but at the preschool level, the comfort factor is worth weighing heavily. My suggestion: visit the preschool, talk to the director about their experience with twins, and don’t feel pressure to make the same decision other twin families made. You know your kids best. What If Your Twins Are Ready at Different Times? This is more common than people expect. Your twins share a birthday, but they don’t necessarily share a developmental timeline. One of your kids might be socially eager and emotionally ready while the other is still working on toilet training or is going through a clingy phase. If that’s where you land, you have a few options. You can wait until both are ready, send the ready twin ahead and hold the other back a few months, or enroll both and give it a trial run. There’s no universally right answer, and it’s okay to adjust as you go. Talk it through with your pediatrician if you’re unsure which direction makes the most sense for your situation. Signs That Preschool Might Be a Bit Premature Sometimes the honest answer is “not yet,” and that’s completely fine. Every child gets there in their own time. Here are some signs it might be worth waiting a few more months: Prolonged and intense separation anxiety that isn’t improving Little to no interest in playing near or with other children Significant speech or language delays that haven’t been evaluated yet Still working through major transitions at home (a new sibling, a move, a big routine change) Frequent and intense tantrums that are escalating rather than calming with age None of these are permanent disqualifiers. They’re just signals to pause, get the right support in place, and revisit the decision in a month or two. How to Prepare Your Twins for Preschool Once you’ve decided they’re ready, a little prep work goes a long way. Your twins might sail through the first week without a hitch, or it might take a bit to find their footing. Either way, here are a few things that help: Visit the classroom before the first day. Let your twins walk around, meet the teacher, and explore the space before it’s “official.” Familiarity reduces anxiety. Read books about preschool together. Your twins might love their first school books like The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn or First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg. These normalize the experience in a fun way. Practice the morning routine. Run through it a few times before school starts so mornings feel predictable, not chaotic. Keep your goodbye short and confident. A long, drawn-out goodbye signals that something scary is happening. A warm, confident “I’ll be back after school, I love you!” is the right call. Talk about preschool positively at home. Your twins pick up on your energy. If you’re nervous, they’ll sense it. Trust Yourself on This One You’ve been watching your twins closely since day one. You know their quirks, their fears, their strengths, and their patterns better than any checklist ever could. Use the signs above as a framework, check in with your pediatrician if you have any developmental concerns, and then trust what you see in your kids every day. Preschool is a big, exciting milestone, and your twins are going to find their way into it at exactly the right time. The post Are Your Twins Ready for Preschool? Signs Every Twin Parent Should Watch For (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twins-ready-for-preschool/) appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins (https://dadsguidetotwins.com).

3. 

   20 May 2026

   How to Teach Twins to Play Independently (Even When They Refuse to Leave Each Other’s Side)

   Having a built-in playmate from day one sounds like it should make independent play easier. In reality, it can make it a lot harder. When your twins have always had each other right there, learning to play alone is a skill they actually have to be taught. The good news? It’s absolutely doable, and it’s worth every bit of effort to get there. I’m not saying your twins shouldn’t play with each other. Just pay attention to your twins’ behavior. If they can’t seem to play without the other, it may be a sign of too much dependence. If you want to encourage independent play in your twins, let’s look at ways to encourage and practice that. Quick Takeaways Independent play is a skill twins need to be taught intentionally, not something they’ll naturally figure out on their own Start short (5 to 10 minutes) and build up gradually Separate physical spaces help each twin focus without competing for attention Rotating simple toys keeps things fresh and interesting Consistency is everything. The more you practice, the easier it gets Why Twins Independent Play Is Harder (and More Important) Than You Think Twins have a unique dynamic that singleton kids don’t. From the very beginning, they’ve shared a room, shared your attention, and shared every milestone. That constant togetherness is one of the great joys of raising twins, but it also means they can become deeply reliant on each other for entertainment and emotional regulation. Your twins might completely fall apart the moment you separate them. One might wander around looking lost while the other melts down. That’s not a behavior problem. That’s just two kids who haven’t yet learned how to be alone with themselves. Independent play builds focus, creativity, and self-confidence in ways that co-play just can’t. Research published in Zero to Three (https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/the-power-of-play/) shows that unstructured solo play helps young children develop problem-solving skills and emotional resilience. Those are skills your twins will use for the rest of their lives. And honestly? A dad who gets 20 uninterrupted minutes while both twins play independently is a happier, more patient dad. That matters too. When Should You Start Encouraging Independent Play? You can start earlier than you might think. Even babies as young as 6 months can begin to entertain themselves briefly with safe toys on a play mat. The key is matching your expectations to your twins’ developmental stage. 6 to 12 Months At this stage, your twins aren’t really playing “with” each other in a meaningful way yet. They’re more interested in objects than people. Use this window to your advantage. Put each baby in a safe spot with a few simple toys and let them explore. Even 5 minutes counts. 12 to 24 Months This is where it gets trickier. Toddler twins are clingy, mobile, and very aware of each other. They may spend more time grabbing each other’s toys than playing with their own. Start practicing short separations with easy activities like stacking blocks, simple puzzles, or board books. 2 to 3 Years By age 2, most kids can handle 10 to 15 minutes of independent play with the right setup. By age 3, some can stretch to 30 minutes or more. This is a great age to really be intentional about building the habit. 3 Years and Beyond Preschool-age twins (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twins-ready-for-preschool/) can absolutely learn to play independently for meaningful stretches of time. It just takes consistent practice and the right environment. Set Up the Right Environment First Before you work on the skill itself, set up your space so success is actually possible. Twins in the same room with the same toys will almost always end up playing together (or fighting over toys). That’s just reality. Separate spaces make a huge difference. This doesn’t have to be elaborate. It could be one twin in the living room and the other in the playroom, or simple play stations on opposite sides of the same room. The goal is reducing the pull toward each other so each child can actually focus. A few setup tips that help: Use a baby gate or pack-n-play (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/pack-n-play-for-twins/) to create a safe, contained space for younger twins Remove toys that require two players or naturally invite sharing (those can come out during co-play time) Keep the play area simple. Too many toys creates overwhelm, not creativity Make sure each twin has their own set of materials so there’s nothing to fight over Start Small and Build Up Gradually The biggest mistake parents make is expecting too much too soon. If your twins have never played independently, asking them to entertain themselves for 30 minutes on day one is a recipe for disaster. Start with just 5 minutes. Seriously. Set a visual timer your twins can see, tell them you’ll be right back, and step just out of sight. When the timer goes off, make a big deal about how well they did. Add a minute or two every few days. Over a few weeks, you’ll be amazed at how far they can stretch. Your twins might surprise you once they get the hang of it. 💡 Quick Tips for Building Independent Play Time Use a visual timer so twins can see time passing (not just hear a beep) Start during a time of day when your twins are rested and fed, not overtired Praise the effort, not just the result (“You played so well by yourself!”) Be consistent. Daily practice builds the habit faster than occasional attempts Don’t rush back in the moment things get quiet. Quiet often means it’s working The Best Activities Twins Can Do Alone Not all activities are created equal when it comes to solo play. The best ones are open-ended, simple enough that your twins don’t need help, and engaging enough to hold attention for more than 30 seconds. Here are some solid options by age: For Toddler Twins (12 to 36 Months) Stacking and sorting toys (rings, cups, blocks) Simple shape sorters Board books they can flip through independently Play dough with simple tools (supervised) Sensory bins with rice, water beads, or dried pasta Push and pull toys For Preschool Twins (3 to 5 Years) LEGO Duplo or building sets with a specific challenge (“build a house for this dinosaur”) Simple puzzles (10 to 25 pieces) Drawing, coloring, or painting at separate stations Imaginative play with dollhouses, action figures, or toy vehicles Simple card games or matching games they can play solo Audiobooks or age-appropriate podcasts while they build or draw One trick that works really well: toy rotation. Instead of having everything available all the time, put some toys away and swap them out every week or two. Your twins might light up at a bin of “new” toys that have actually been in the closet for a month. Familiar but fresh. What to Do When Toddler Twins Are Clingy If your twins are going through a particularly clingy phase, independent play will feel impossible. That’s normal and it won’t last forever. But you can still make progress. During clingy phases, try a gradual separation approach. Instead of leaving the room, sit nearby and do your own “quiet activity” (read, fold laundry, whatever). You’re still present, but you’re not engaged with them. Over time, you can increase your distance as they grow more comfortable playing without direct interaction from you. Don’t sneak away. It almost always backfires. Your twins will notice, feel anxious, and have a harder time settling into play. A quick, confident “I’m going to go do my thing, you play here, I’ll be back in 5 minutes” is much more effective than disappearing. Children develop independence more readily when they feel securely attached, not when they’re left to figure it out alone without warning. A confident, calm goodbye sets them up better than a slow, anxious one. Should Twins Ever Play Independently Together? Yes, and this is actually a great middle step if fully solo play feels like too big a leap. “Parallel independent play” is when twins are in the same space doing their own separate activities without interacting. Think two kids at the same table, each working on their own drawing or their own LEGO creation. This builds the solo play muscle while still honoring the comfort of proximity. For a lot of twin families, this is a natural stepping stone before true independent play in separate spaces. Use it. Stay Consistent (This Is the Key) Independent play is a habit, and habits take time to form. If you only try it once a week when you’re desperate for a break, your twins will never really get the hang of it. Aim for a short independent play session every single day, even on weekends. Think of it like brushing teeth (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/teach-twins-to-brush-teeth/). You do it every day, not because every single session feels amazing, but because consistency is what makes it stick. After a few weeks of daily practice, you’ll notice your twins starting to settle into independent play more naturally, and with less protest. Of course, some days will be harder than others. Teething, illness, transitions like a new daycare or a new sibling can all throw things off. That’s okay. Just pick it back up the next day and keep going. Celebrate the Wins When your twins nail an independent play session, make a big deal about it. Not over-the-top praise, just genuine, specific encouragement. “You played all by yourself for 10 whole minutes! That’s amazing!” helps them connect effort with accomplishment. Over time, the reward becomes the play itself. Your twins will discover that being alone with their own imagination is actually pretty great. And you’ll discover that a few quiet minutes each day changes the whole energy of your household for the better. That’s a win for everyone. The post How to Teach Twins to Play Independently (Even When They Refuse to Leave Each Other’s Side) (https://dadsguidetotwins.com/twins-play-independently/) appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins (https://dadsguidetotwins.com).

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Podcast Authority Score: 56 / 100

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57

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0

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86

Engagement

51