Dateable()AF

About Dateable()AF

The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell. Please check out our website https://www.dateableaf.com/ (https://www.dateableaf.com/) Dateable AF is a relationship podcast that goes deeper than dating advice. Hosted by a therapist and a researcher, the show breaks down the emotional patterns behind connection, conflict, identity, and growth. We skip platitudes and focus on what actually helps people relate more honestly, securely, and sustainably. Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of all kinds of relationships—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference. Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe Theme Song: Cade Kyle A huge thanks to our sponsors and trailblazers at Shody Media LLC. Disclaimer: Podcasts featured on Shody Media are independently owned and operated by their respective hosts. All views, opinions, and statements expressed are solely those of the individual creators and guest do not reflect the views of Shody Media. Shody Media assumes no responsibility or liability for podcast content.

Publisher

Rachel Howell & Dr. Sarah Kyle

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

30 Apr 2025

Latest episode

16 Apr 2026

Latest episodes

89 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   16 Apr 2026

   S3E14: “Someday You’ll Be Amazing”: The Trap of Falling in Love With Someone’s Potential

   Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?” In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle. This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no matter how clearly you speak. We start by unpacking the myth that if you could just say it the right way, things would finally improve. Modern relationship culture often tells us to keep trying. Say it nicer. Say it calmer. Say it again. When nothing shifts, people start blaming themselves for “not explaining well enough.” The truth is that clarity does not create change when someone is unwilling or unable to change. Next, we talk about the kinds of issues that words alone cannot fix. You cannot talk someone into sobriety. You cannot explain your way out of abuse. Love does not replace treatment for untreated mental illness. Understanding does not create emotional capacity where there is none. And repeated boundary violations are rarely misunderstandings. If someone truly understood and cared, their behavior would already look different. We then explore why people keep trying anyway. Hope, fear of loss, sunk cost, trauma bonding, and the desire to believe the best about someone all play a role. For many people, continuing to explain feels safer than facing the possibility that the relationship may not change. One of the central ideas in this episode is the difference between being heard and being safe. Someone can listen, nod, agree, apologize, and still keep doing the same thing. Understanding without change is not intimacy. It is stagnation. Real safety in relationships is built through consistent behavior, not good conversations. From there, we shift into what actually helps. Instead of more emotional labor and more heart-to-hearts, most people need clearer boundaries, observable behavior, realistic timelines, meaningful consequences, and stronger support for themselves. Boundaries are how you stop negotiating with reality. We close by reminding listeners that you can communicate perfectly and still be in a bad situation. If something keeps happening, it is not a misunderstanding. Love does not require endurance. And you do not have to stay just because someone understands you. Reflection After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: Where are you still trying to explain something that has already been made clear, and what are you afraid might happen if you stopped trying to convince them? Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com (mailto:info@dateableaf.com) or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

2. 

   9 Apr 2026

   S3E13: “Insight Isn’t Self-Attack”: When Self-Awareness Turns Into Self-Criticism

   Dateable AF Show Notes: Self-awareness is supposed to help you grow. But for a lot of thoughtful, high-functioning people, it quietly turns into something else… constant self-criticism. If you’ve ever replayed conversations, analyzed your tone, or found yourself thinking “What’s wrong with me?” instead of “That’s interesting about me,” you’re not alone. In this episode of the Dateable AF Podcast, we unpack the difference between healthy self-awareness and the kind of insight that turns into self-attack. We talk about why people who are the most reflective are often the hardest on themselves, how this pattern develops, and the subtle ways it starts to impact confidence and connection in relationships. We also explore what real self-awareness is supposed to feel like, and how shifting from judgment to curiosity can make growth feel lighter, not heavier. After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: When we reflect on our behavior in relationships, do we tend to approach it with curiosity or with criticism? We’d love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com (mailto:info@dateableaf.com) or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. And if this episode resonated, please share the podcast with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember: be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

3. 

   2 Apr 2026

   S3E12: “Awkward Won’t Kill You” Learning to Tolerate Discomfort

   Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?” In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle. This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no matter how clearly you speak. We start by unpacking the myth that if you could just say it the right way, things would finally improve. Modern relationship culture often tells us to keep trying. Say it nicer. Say it calmer. Say it again. When nothing shifts, people start blaming themselves for “not explaining well enough.” The truth is that clarity does not create change when someone is unwilling or unable to change. Next, we talk about the kinds of issues that words alone cannot fix. You cannot talk someone into sobriety. You cannot explain your way out of abuse. Love does not replace treatment for untreated mental illness. Understanding does not create emotional capacity where there is none. And repeated boundary violations are rarely misunderstandings. If someone truly understood and cared, their behavior would already look different. We then explore why people keep trying anyway. Hope, fear of loss, sunk cost, trauma bonding, and the desire to believe the best about someone all play a role. For many people, continuing to explain feels safer than facing the possibility that the relationship may not change. One of the central ideas in this episode is the difference between being heard and being safe. Someone can listen, nod, agree, apologize, and still keep doing the same thing. Understanding without change is not intimacy. It is stagnation. Real safety in relationships is built through consistent behavior, not good conversations. From there, we shift into what actually helps. Instead of more emotional labor and more heart-to-hearts, most people need clearer boundaries, observable behavior, realistic timelines, meaningful consequences, and stronger support for themselves. Boundaries are how you stop negotiating with reality. We close by reminding listeners that you can communicate perfectly and still be in a bad situation. If something keeps happening, it is not a misunderstanding. Love does not require endurance. And you do not have to stay just because someone understands you. Reflection After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: Where are you still trying to explain something that has already been made clear, and what are you afraid might happen if you stopped trying to convince them? Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com (mailto:info@dateableaf.com) or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.6 / 5

11 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 43 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

73

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

32

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Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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