Dating, Relationships, and Disability

About Dating, Relationships, and Disability

We offer strategies, encouragement, and mindset tips on dating with a disability. We talk about how to navigate sexual ableism, focus on your power to attract, and develop happy and healthy relationships.

Publisher

Kathy O'Connell

Category

education · health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

19 Oct 2021

Latest episode

6 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

266 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   6 Oct 2026

   263 - Trauma-Informed Dating: Healing, Red Flags, and Reclaiming Desire

   Trauma-Informed Dating for People with Disabilities This week Kathy takes on a heavier topic: trauma-informed care, and how trauma shows up in dating for people with disabilities. Content note: This episode discusses abuse and sexual violence. Please take care of yourself as you listen. In This Episode What "trauma-informed" means: safety, trust, choice, collaboration, and empowerment, based on SAMHSA's core principles Why disabled people face higher rates of abuse, sexual violence, and medical trauma Disclosure dilemmas and the toll of inaccessible dating apps Red flags, including: Abuse tactics that target disability, like withholding medication, mobility aids, or benefits Hearing "no one else will put up with you" Blurred lines when a partner is also a caregiver Sexual ableism and the wounds it leaves, from missing sex ed and infantilization to medical harm, reproductive control, and institutional restrictions Building healthier connections through framing needs as normal, accessible date planning, pacing, interdependence, and safety planning Reclaiming sexuality as part of disability justice Resources Mentioned National Domestic Violence Hotline: thehotline.org (https://www.thehotline.org). Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline): rainn.org (https://www.rainn.org). Call 1-800-656-4673. SAMHSA's Trauma-Informed Approach: samhsa.gov (https://www.samhsa.gov) Already Doing It: Intellectual Disability and Sexual Agency by Michael Gill (University of Minnesota Press) #DisabledPeopleAreHot on Instagram, for disability-affirming creators Contact me (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/contact) to let me know of someone I can interview about adapted sex toys. The Five Stages of Dating Success Playbook is out now — $27 digital (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/offers/rTj8EcES/checkout), $45 hardcopy (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/offers/hPLUPGeV/checkout) Take our Dating Success quiz (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/Dating-Quiz). Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

2. 

   29 Sept 2026

   262 - Roommates, Weddings, and Everything Between: The Friendship Series with Camille

   In this episode of Kathy O'Connell's Friendship Series, Kathy talks with Camille, a close friend of nearly four decades, about their friendship and the role disability has played in it. They met in college, shared a wide circle of friends, and later lived together. Their lives stayed closely linked through marriage, family, and the college friend group they still share today. Overview In this episode of Kathy O'Connell's Friendship Series, Kathy talks with Camille, one of her closest friends. They met near the end of their freshman year at Le Moyne, about 39 years ago, and later lived together. Camille lived next door to their friends Lynn and Beth. Beth, Kathy's friend since 7th grade, is now Camille's sister-in-law: Camille met her husband John at Beth's wedding. First Impressions and Disability Camille, a quieter accounting major, remembers Kathy as bubbly, confident, and someone who seemed to know everyone. She briefly wondered what Kathy could do, like drive, but Kathy simply did it. Camille trusted her to ask for help when she needed it. The friends were often more upset by strangers' stares and comments than Kathy was. Kathy credits her parents for her confidence, especially their message that she might need to do things differently, but she could do them. A favorite shared memory is friends pulling and pushing Kathy up a steep hill on a shortcut home, laughing the whole way. Dating Kathy recalls how hard it was when she wanted a boyfriend and apologizes if Camille bore some of that. Camille says she remembers nothing bad. She had hoped someone would love all of Kathy, and eventually Scott did. Her advice is to be open, show who you are from the start, and keep putting yourself out there. She notes that dating is harder now that so much of it happens online. What Makes It Different Camille says the friendship is mostly like her others. The difference she values is that her kids grew up with "Aunt Kathy" and learned to see people's differences naturally. Kathy's speech can be hard to follow when she's emotional. Understanding her helped Camille with her son Jackson's speech impediment and taught her patience. Camille admits she once worried about Kathy holding her adopted son Jaden as a baby, but Kathy proved her wrong. Both agree that any new mother has those fears. Kathy also mentions that teenage Jaden sometimes gets embarrassed holding her hand in public, which Camille calls typical teen behavior. Chosen Family Camille's favorite memories are of laughing together and living together, and of being in each other's weddings. Both call their college friend group a chosen family. Camille says she leaves their weekends together feeling happy inside. She admits the interview was outside her comfort zone, but says good friends should be able to talk about this. Links for Friendship Series 249 - Everybody Has a Thing (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/podcasts/dating-relationships-and-disability/episodes/2149220219) 253 - From Coworkers to Chosen Family (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/podcasts/dating-relationships-and-disability/episodes/2149234230) Contact me (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/contact) to let me know what you think of the Friendship Series. The Five Stages of Dating Success Playbook is out now — $27 digital (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/offers/rTj8EcES/checkout), $45 hardcopy (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/offers/hPLUPGeV/checkout) Take our Dating Success quiz (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/Dating-Quiz). Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

3. 

   22 Sept 2026

   261 - Your Playbook for Dating is Here

   The Playbook Is Here The Five Stages of Dating Success Playbook launched today. Today's episode covers the two stages we hadn't unpacked yet: active dating and mastery — the payoff for everything built so far. Stage Four: Active Dating This is where earlier prep meets real people, and it's not a victory lap — it's its own demanding phase. Disclosure conversations now happen with unpredictable reactions; researched venues meet real-world logistics. That friction isn't failure, it's just what preparation looks like under real conditions. The reframe: success here isn't landing a partner. It's showing up consistently, authentically, and resiliently — implementing your strategies without losing yourself, recovering from a bad date without spiraling, and staying in the process through a dry stretch instead of quietly vanishing. The dating journal is a key tool in this stage — treat it like game film, not therapy. After a date, note what worked, what felt off, what you'd change, and what moment felt most authentic. Over time, personal patterns emerge that generic advice never could. Stage Five: Mastery and Sustainability This is where dating confidence becomes life confidence. It has no finish line — like integrity or maturity, it's ongoing: strategic evaluation, a support system that evolves with you, and mentorship. Once you've moved through these stages, you're carrying knowledge that others navigating disability and dating badly need. The Real Point None of this is about becoming someone else to be dateable. It's about becoming more clearly, confidently yourself, and bringing that self into dating without apology. Disability doesn't disappear — your relationship to it changes, from something to explain away to one part of a whole, valuable person choosing who they date. Three Takeaways Success in active dating = consistency and authenticity, not outcome. Keep a dating journal like game film — let real patterns guide you. Mastery means ongoing maintenance plus mentorship, not an endpoint. One More Thing The Playbook is out now — $27 digital (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/offers/rTj8EcES/checkout), $45 hardcopy (https://www.relatabilityllc.com/offers/hPLUPGeV/checkout)

Who has been a guest on Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Names identified in recent episode analyses. Showing up to five guests.

• Dorsey Ross
• Chaya Sarah Garcia
• Tina Fegley
• Tyler Waldman

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 59 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

87

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

75

Contact Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.