Dealing With 40

About Dealing With 40

Turning 40 is a big mile-marker in life -- and one that makes you reflect on life. Host Clark Vandeventer is dealing with some big questions as he approaches his 40th birthday. In short, he's had a really hard time dealing with 40. Did he squander the promise of his youth? Why has he accomplished so much less than he thought he would have by now? In seeking some perspective, Clark has turned to people who've climbed a little higher. A series of interviews addressing deep questions with people about life after 40.

Publisher

Clark Vandeventer

Category

education

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

20 Feb 2020

Latest episode

11 Dec 2020

Latest episodes

17 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   11 Dec 2020

   #17: Clark Vandeventer on Appearance of Success, Dark Nights, and Making Pancakes

   In this episode Clark Vandeventer gives an update on where he is in the process of "Dealing with 40" now that he has nine months of experience in his 40s. He talks about his old boss Floyd Brown, and how when Floyd was 40 Clark viewed him as the picture of success. Talks about facing dark times and not giving up (but instead making pancakes) and how his views of success and worthy life goals is changing. If you have questions or comments you can reach out to Clark at clarkvand (at) gmail.com.

2. 

   11 Sept 2020

   #16 Todd Voss on goals, switches, and idealism

   Dr. Todd Voss is the President of Southern Wesleyan University. Here’s what I love about Todd Voss. For this podcast I went to the Southern Wesleyan University website thinking I would find a really impressive BIO of Dr. Voss listing all of his academic achievements. The impact he’s at at Southern Wesleyan as President. The achievements. The buildings built. The money raised. And I couldn’t find it. I am pretty sure it does not exist. This guy is a quite, unassuming leader. When I first met Dr. Todd Voss he was the vice president for Student Development at Indiana Wesleyan University. I was an 18 year old freshman. Voss was incredibly student focused. He was driven. Always focused on both qualitative and quantitative growth. At one time I asked him to formally mentor me -- and for almost two years we had lunch every Thursday. He would later serve as Executive Vice President at IWU and we remained friends. After he left for Southern Wesleyan, we lost touch a bit. Two years ago, as I was going through a personal dark night of the soul, I reached back out to him. And after years of not talking he was incredibly gracious with his time and really leaned in and was a great help to me. Some things that got my attention.... "My plans are not necessarily God's plans." Having multiple things going at the same time and you never know which one is going to click. He's not big on timelines or deadlines on goals. This is contrary to so much you read and hear from goal driven people. I found Dr. Voss' perspective on this very interesting. Talked about how colleges are destroying ideas by being worried about getting students to pass math. Students turn into realists. Voss wants to encourage idealism and thinking big. Celebrate conflict and the negative outcome of decisions you have made. They are the best ways to learn.

3. 

   29 May 2020

   #15: Clark on Life as Half Chance...

   In this episode Clark asks the question... "Do I feel happy and content because of the relative success I am now enjoying in life?" or because "I am enough." Questions? Comments? Thoughts? Reach out!

4. 

   7 May 2020

   #14: Carl Wagner gives suggestions not advise

   Carl Wagner was born nearly 60 years ago in Yonkers, New York, but has called the Hoosier state his home since 1968 when his father's promotion and transfer for Otis Elevator landed the New York family in Bloomington, Indiana, home of stone quarries, cows and corn, Indiana University, and quiet country roads for the family of eight. Though his first day of kindergarten at School 23 in Yonkers, and later his first day of 3rd grade 800 miles away at Ellettsville Elementary might have led young Carl to want to eventually settle into any occupation that didn't have to do with chalkboards and grade books and dunce caps, he knew from 5th grade on that he would be a teacher. After high school, he went to Wabash College where he switched his college major only once, from biology to English, and upon graduating from Wabash, began a teaching and coaching career of 35 years, interrupted only by a two-year stint in graduate school at Louisiana State University. Since retiring from the classroom three years ago, Carl has been a college and career coach. He and his wife Bobbi have been married for 36 years. Carl's all-time favorite book is The Little Prince, he plans on running a marathon this fall with a good friend who will be returning from military deployment in Saudi Arabia, and he hopes to someday write a book tentatively titled On Leaving Facebook. He is a self-described social activist, supporter of Children's Miracle Network hospitals, a proud contributor to foundations supporting research in MS, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and autism, and, probably of great surprise to those who know him, a recent convert to unabashed and unapologetic advocacy of cannabis legalization. Lastly, Carl will tell you that age 40 meant nothing to him except a $5,000 hole in his pocket, but the impending 60th birthday just might be something entirely different. I've known him since I was 8 years old when my oldest brother was running on his track and cross country teams. He seemed larger than life to me then. He was an inspirational coach. I didn't know it at the time, but at that point he was barely out of college! He was my high school English teacher. I loved his classes. I loved the debates. I remember debating little nuances of books in his class. I remember anticipating coming to his class and seeing his Quote of the Day on the board. He inspired me. What I loved about this interview: 1. If you love books and literature, you will love this interview. Every few minutes Carl is quoting, referencing, or alluding to a line from a book. 2. We talked about the difference in two questions. The first, "What do you want to do?" The second, "Who do you want to be?" The second is more important. 3. Listen to all the advise. Then sift through it. 4. Carl doesn't give advise. He makes suggestions. Lots of allusions to books, but a few that were more prominently discussed were Death of a Salesma (https://www.amazon.com/Death-Salesman-Arthur-Miller-ebook/dp/B01N2TY7EN/ref=sr_1_2?crid=20I5HG04CNU1H&dchild=1&keywords=death+of+a+salesman+by+arthur+miller&qid=1588861082&sprefix=Death+of+a+sa%2Caps%2C425&sr=8-2)n (he also gave permission to watch the movie with Dustin Hoffman), A Raisin in the Sun (https://www.amazon.com/Raisin-Sun-Thirtieth-Anniversary/dp/0573614636/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1588861731&sr=8-2), The Gift of Years (https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Years-Growing-Older-Gracefully-ebook/dp/B008XCDJ8C/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+gift+of+years&qid=1588861941&sr=8-1), and Move Your Chair (https://www.amazon.com/Move-Your-Chair-Rick-Weinheimer/dp/1516934660/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=move+your+chair+rick+weinheimer&qid=1588862004&sr=8-1). Thoreau, Emerson, TS Elliott are other names that come up.

5. 

   20 Apr 2020

   #13: Nancy & Terry Metheny on balance, if that's what you want, and the long-game

   Today my guests are Nancy and Terry Metheny. Terry and Nancy were parents of a very good friend of mine from high school. I spent a lot of time at the Metheny house when I was in high school. They also helped coached Academic teams I was a part of. Nancy and Terry have been married for 43 years -- they have five children and 18 grandchildren -- and having observed them over the years I can tell you they are deeply connected to their kids and so proud of them. They’re long-time Hoosiers. Terry studied mechanical engineering at Rose-Hulman and worked at Eli Lilly for 39 years. Nancy went to BYU; stayed home with their children for 20 years and then went back to work as a high school English teacher for 20 years. Both Nancy and Terry retired two years ago. They’re devoted members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: as part of that lay ministry, Terry served as bishop of their local congregation for 12 years. Church service is a vital part of their lives. They’re travelers. Terry enjoys reading, gardening and golf; I enjoy crossword puzzles, homemaking, and entertaining. Although we’ve been connected over the years, and Facebook friends over the years -- this conversation is the first significant conversation we've have had since I was in high school, or perhaps early in my collegiate career. The Methenys made a big investment in my life -- and I would say they believed in me. They thought I was capable of great things. If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while you probably know there’s a tinge of fear that perhaps I have disappointed them. Maybe they expected more from me. But I have no doubt that they’re going to give me some perspective today. Things that struck me in this interview: 1. The numbers 20/20. I knew Nancy as a stay-at-home mom. She was getting back into teaching right around the time I was going to college. But in my mind she was always a stay-at-home mom. Doing this interview, I realized as long as she'd done that, she'd had a whole 20 year teaching career afterwards. 2. Terry talked about wanting balance. That was his value and he arranged his life accordingly. But he suggested that maybe some people don't value balance as much. He was open to the idea that balance is not the ultimate value. It was just his value. 3. This long view of success and life building that they hold, in part because of their faith. 4. What I saw when they were 40-ish (as a 17 or 18 year old kid hanging out at their house) vs. the challenges they struggled with. They struggled as parents and they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

6. 

   13 Apr 2020

   #12: John Davies on fear vs. opportunity

   Today my guest is John Davies. John is the Chairman and CEO of Davies -- a public affairs firm . John is a master of the business of persuasion, and constantly searches for new trends and methods. He applies his lifelong study of human behavior and effective communications strategies to influence how to get attention and gain influence in today's complex information saturated decision-making process. The growth of Davies into a national powerhouse firm was never the goal, but a by-product of attracting the best talent. John takes on a unique role as a CEO by investing his time and experience to hands-on analysis, strategy, and messaging. He leaves the day-to-day corporate operations to professional managers, allowing him to instead focus on the firm's clients. This strategy has yielded great results: Davies has been awarded “Public Affairs Agency of the Year,” and named “Best Agency to Work” in several categories for the past 6 years including overall “Best U.S. Consultancy to Work For.” PRWeek ranks Davies amongst the top 25 national PR firms. John is a sought-after speaker on messaging, persuasion, and communications. He is a founding board member of a National Bank, has served as Chair of the University of California’s Economic Forecast Project, President of the nation’s largest scholarship foundation. John and friends, through Acres of Love, have purchased upper-middle-class homes in South Africa to raise HIV-positive orphans and provide them with healthcare, education and a bright future, and currently serves as Board Member of the foundation. He has also helped found a Hands4others (H4O) chapter with his teenage children and other families to supply water to the thirsty around the world. And, I love this guy. I pretty much got to know John because one day I emailed him and said I’d like to meet with him and ask him for some advice. Not only did we meet up, but we had like a two hour lunch at one of Santa Barbara’s best restaurants. And I’ve kept doing that every couple of years. I just email him saying, “John, I need someone to talk to. I’d like your advice. I’d like to pick your brain. I’d like to present a problem to you and hear your answer. And he’s always been super generous with his time and his wisdom. This interview blew me away. He corrected me on something. It's an important re-set. It has to do with fear. In 1995 I was a sophomore in high school and Kevin Garnett was drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves. I remember what he said when he was drafted. I'm not a Timberwolves fan. I've got nothing against Kevin Garnett, but it's not like I was a big fan of his at the time. But I remember what he said. "A terrible thing: potential. A lot of guys have potential written on their gravestone." What does it say about me that I remember this random quote from a basketball player in 1995? I fear that I will never live up to my full potential. That I could have been so much more. And John re-set me today. Fear is a terrible motivator. We can focus on fears or we can focus on opportunity. A great line from the interview: "Goals to me are like prayers." Talked about how sometimes we achieve a goal but achieving that goal wasn't really the important thing -- it's some other byproduct of reaching for the goal. We talked about the need for money and the need to feel significant -- and the greater desire to be involved in meaningful work that we feel called to. After the interview, John sent me a link to a talk he gave years ago on overcoming fear. Here's the link: https://vimeo.com/channels/432860/64681909 You can find John's public affairs firm Davies at https://www.daviespublicaffairs.com/ and his subsidiary company The Blaze at http://www.blazepr.com/ (http://www.blazepr.com/)

7. 

   10 Apr 2020

   #11: David Wright on being curious and gathering experiences

   Today my guest is David Wright. Dr. Wright is the 9th President of Indiana Wesleyan University. Prior to become president, Dr. Wright served as IWU's first Provost and Chief Academic Officer and he helped develop Wesley Seminary at Indiana Wesleyan University, the School of Nursing, the School of Health Sciences initiative, the Ron Blue Institute for Financial Planning and the National Conversations: A Series of Dialogues About Society's Well Being. Earlier in his career at IWU, Wright led the university's entry into online education and initiated the regional campus development strategy that helped IWU become Indiana's largest private university. Outside his tenure at IWU, Wright served as dean of the School of Theology at Azusa Pacific University and served in theological education ministries with The Wesleyan Church in England and Haiti. Wright earned a Doctor of Philosophy degree from the University of Kentucky and a Master of Arts degree from George Fox University. He did his undergrad at Indiana Wesleyan University. Dr. Wright grew up in the Philippines where his parents were missionaries. And he’s a pilot. Now, I’m graduate of Indiana Wesleyan University. Ok, maybe who’s president at your alma mater doesn’t matter to you, but it does to us. At IWU, we’re a close knit bunch. And I’ve known Dr. Wright since I was an undergraduate. Our paths have interested occasionally over the years, and I am just so delighted to be able to have this discussion with him today. Things that struck me in this interview: "It wasn't like I was idle, but I could never really see the thead, I didn't know what it was becoming..." Wright talks about at about 40 how he first started to step back and ask if he was taking advantage of the gifts God had given him. Right at about the age of 40, he began to develop a plan after attending a conference in Phoenix. He began a yearly process of writing and reviewing goals. This process started with figuring out his life mission, his life values, his life goals. He talked about gathering experiences and being curious -- and how we have no idea how that curiosity and life experiences are preparing "My aspirations were not career oriented they were experience oriented." <--- This is a VERY important line and an encouraging line to me. "I was hungry for experience, I hated being bored.... I wanted more experiences, I wanted more breadth. I didn't have a sense of what that would come to create in time, but that was my aspiration." This interview encouraged me in the sense that it reminded me that I still have a lot of life before me. I met David Wright when he was about 40 and I already saw him as successful and then he ends up being president of my alma mater, but it's not like his life was this logical trajectory toward the presidency. You can find Dr. Wright at http://www.iwupresident.com/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/IWUPresident (https://www.facebook.com/IWUPresident)

8. 

   8 Apr 2020

   #10: Clark on being enough

   In this episode Clark talks about the process he is going through where he is learnING to accept that he is worthy of love regardless of what he produces. Want to talk with Clark more about this topic? Have someone you'd like Clark to interview in a future episode? Email him at clarkvand@gmail.com.

9. 

   27 Mar 2020

   #9: Jerry Pattengale on honing gifts and the wedge principle

   Jerry Pattengale is a prolific and award-winning author and academic. A long-time executive and inaugural University Professor at Indiana Wesleyan University. He was one of two founding scholars for the Museum of the Bible and in executive leadership until retiring last year. He is associate publisher for Christian Scholar’s Review and on the boards for Yale’s Jonathan Edwards Center and Africa New Life (Rwanda), and the membership committee for the National Press Club. He holds distinguished appointments at Tyndale House Cambridge, the Sagamore Institute, Excelsia College (Australia), the Moody Center, and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He’s the author of dozens of books. A few of his recent books are... The State of the Evangelical Mind And Is the Bible at Fault?: How the Bible Has Been Misused to Justify Evil, Suffering, and Bizarre Behavior His most recent book, Inexplicable: How Christianity Spread to the Ends of the Earth, is now a TV series on TBN. Just last month Jerry appeared before the United Nations where he spoke about protecting religious spaces. And he is the president of the Religion News Foundation. On a personal note, I showed up at Indiana Wesleyan as a freshman in 1998. I was an aspiring intellectual. Alright. Now it’d be a stretch to call me an intellectual today. But back then I was aspiring. And I had World Civ to 1600 with this guy and he was the embodiment of the ideal professor in my mind. He was kinda like my Indiana Jones. He was inspiring in the classroom, and I have so many stories and personal notes about Jerry outside the classroom. What I appreciated about this interview: The word “honing” comes up a lot. God hones us and we hone ourselves. God may bring us experiences to help us hone our gifts or our skills. We are also responsible for doing our own honing. The discipline required to hone a gift or a skill. We talked about the “Wedge” principle -- and the narrower your wedge the deeper you can go. I asked him about a line from a past interview, “At 40 you accept certain limitations for your life, and limitations are a gift.” (Rick Soto). Jerry thought this was true in the sense that as you limit yourself you are getting a more narrow wedge and you can do deeper. I first met Jerry when he was about 40 and viewed him as very successful, but it was not until he was 37 that much started to come together. Jerry is quotable: “The dream needs to be stronger than the struggle.” “Sometimes you need to fall off one cliff to climb another.” He talked about how none of us really know what are real contribution is. We’re holding onto “tarnished trophies” that don’t matter. Jerry talked about things that he’ll never do. Students of Jerry’s may remember his “Crossing the Jordan” lecture. Moses, would never cross the Jordan River. His understudy Joshua would. I asked Jerry, “What’s your Jordan?” His answer was very interesting to me! This is a great interview. Jerry is a full of wisdom. Give it a listen and check out his author page on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Jerry-A.-Pattengale/e/B001JS08J0# (https://www.amazon.com/Jerry-A.-Pattengale/e/B001JS08J0)

10. 

    24 Mar 2020

    #8: Clark on success and service

    In this episode Clark talks about what he is learning and how he continues to cope with Dealing with 40. He talks about... The false notion, which perhaps comes from a place of humility, that Service > Success. Clark says that Service is not greater than success. And neither is Success greater than service. Service is Success. Not service leads to success. Service IS Success. Service = Success. Success = Service. More interviews coming later this week. Have someone you'd like Clark to interview. Email him at clarkvand@gmail.com.

11. 

    18 Mar 2020

    #7: John Bronson on experience, adventure, family, career

    Today my guest is John Bronson. John Bronson's career includes 20 years of experience as a professional journalist and 20 years of experience in corporate PR. He spent 10 years working as a writer and editor in Pittsburgh with the AP and was the business editor of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette before jumping over to US Airways to establish a regional corporate affairs function at the airline’s then-largest hub in Pittsburgh. He later worked with US Airways in Washington, DC heading up employee communications. But he was in the airline industry in some tumultuous times -- mergers, bankruptcies, 9/11, five fatal crashes in five consecutive years and more. His career also included a stint in Zurich, Switzerland, which he called the capstone of his career. John retired in 2013 and promptly moved to Tahoe -- So Tahoe -- that’s our connection. John and his wife Mary bought their first winter timeshare at Squaw Valley in 1982 so their move in 2013 was like coming home. John was introduced to me years back when I was looking for an editor for a project I won’t mention for legal reasons -- and that’s a story in itself. I have to say I’ve admired John from the first time I met him. I’ve viewed him as someone who stuck a balance similar to what I am looking for in terms of career and family life. I’ve observed the close relationship he has with his kids -- and I enjoy his embrace of life -- from his stories to hitchhiking Europe and getting a job at a ski resort in Switzerland in his younger years -- to moving to Tahoe and watching him continue his adventures in his older years. When you hear John talk about his life and career, there was intentionality. There’s a move to Austria, because skiing was a passion and he knew that he wanted travel to be a big part of his life. He figures out how to work in the airline industry so he could have access to free flights. Things I appreciated about this interview: John talked about 20-40 being a time to gather experiences and make mistakes and grow in wisdom, and at 40 your career is just getting started. Family obligations and feeling less free to make mistakes after 40. Gather experience and follow your gut. You may not be sure where they are taking you, but they are taking you where you need to go. I loved this as he talked about getting to his Zurich experience at the end of his career. Parting wisdom. 1. Keep moving. 2. Eat right. 3. Spend less than you make.

12. 

    13 Mar 2020

    #6: Nancy Sathre-Vogel on being freed from society's expecations

    Today my guest is Nancy Sathre-Vogel. This woman is a legend. An inspiration. I remember where I was when I first heard about this woman -- when she and her family first came across my radar screen. It was about ten years ago -- and I was trying to figure out my life -- which I guess is a theme. And I heard that this family had just completed a bike ride from Alaska to Argentina. I heard that and I was like, man, I can do anything. Like, seriously. It was a big moment for me. And I figured if Nancy and her family could do that, I could design any kind of life I’d like too. After 21 years in a classroom teaching other people’s kids, Nancy Sathre-Vogel decided to throw caution to the wind and head out with her own children. Together with her husband and 8 – year-old twin sons, she spent a year biking around the USA and Mexico. Flushed with success from that experience, the family decided they wanted more – which lead to a jaunt from Alaska to Argentina. After cycling 17,285 miles through 15 countries in 33 months, the boys had earned the distinction of being the youngest people to cycle the length of the Americas. Nancy and her family made their home in Boise, Idaho after their adventures where they enjoyed the simple things in life – like turning a handle and having water magically appear. They continued with their atypical education until entering university in 2016. Now, Nancy owns her own small metalsmithing business, making and selling jewelry made from recycled copper. After being online friends for a while -- a few years ago I got to finally meet Nancy in person. I was in Boise on business and got to hang out with Nancy at one of those community events where artisans set up. What I appreciated about the interview: Nancy is clearly a high capacity person who could be successful in multiple paths. She chose family and adventure over career. She’s 59 and has no regrets. She did not maximize her “earning potential” or feel like she needed to fulfill society’s expectations. She chose a different path. It was good for me to hear, at 59, that she still does not regret this. This is an important message for me. I am asking, “Should I be spending more time on my career? Will I regret not doing so?” Nancy seems to think no. I loved her push back to the idea that bigger is better -- that we need to follow-up doing something amazing with doing something more amazing. After she finished riding her bike from Alaska to Argentina, she didn’t go on a bigger bike ride. She went to Boise and started making jewelry. She was able to call herself a success at different times in life while doing different things as her definition of success changed. Her children were born, her father died, and her mother was diagnosed with cancer all within a very short period of time. This seems to have had a huge impact on her and how she arranged her life. Find Nancy at http://nancysathrevogel.com/ (http://nancysathrevogel.com/) on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/nsathrevogeljewelry/ (https://www.instagram.com/nsathr) and on Twitter @familyonbikes (https://twitter.com/familyonbikes).

13. 

    9 Mar 2020

    #5: Clark on working purposefully but not frantically

    In this episode I recap where I'm at and how I feel as I go to work on Monday morning of the first work week of my 40s. I share my mantra: "Enjoy the process and trust God with the results." And talk about trying to work purposefully but not frantically. I talk about themes that came up in the first three interviews on Dealing with 40 (Bud Bence, Rick Soto, Floyd Brown). I talk about how some of the things shared in these interviews would have sounded like "settling" or "lowering expectations" to me a few years ago, but how they are now beginning to make sense. No interview in this episode. I have more interviews scheduled for this week. If you have someone you'd like to hear interviewed on this podcast, please reach out to me and make that recommendation. You can reach me at clarkvand@gmail.com.

14. 

    2 Mar 2020

    #4: Floyd Brown on success, money, relationships, humility

    Today my guest is a man I owe a lot to -- a man who’s gotten bigger in my mind as time has gone on -- my former boss -- Floyd Brown. Floyd Brown has worked for the last thirty five years in politics and media. Time magazine wrote: “Brown has a stature among devoted conservatives that almost matches his physical heft (6 ft. 6 in. and 240 lbs.)”. Floyd is the publisher of The Western Journal. Since its founding in 2014, The Western Journal has grown to become one of America’s 50 largest digital media companies. According to the analytics firm Newswhip, WesternJournal.com is one of the most popular websites on social media. He is the author of five books including the 1992 bestseller, Slick Willie, Why America Cannot Trust Bill Clinton. His latest book is the recently published Big Tech Tyrants. From 2001 until 2006, he supervised the preservation of Rancho del Cielo, Ronald Reagan’s Ranch. He supervised the construction of the 25 million-dollar Reagan Ranch Center in downtown Santa Barbara, California. From 1995 to 2001, Floyd was a host on Hot Talk 570 KVI in Seattle, Washington. He has appeared on many TV shows including: FOXNEWS’ Tucker Carlson Show, the CBS Evening News, ABC’s Primetime, NBC’s Today Show, CNN, CNBC and more. Beginning in 1988 until 2001, Floyd was the founding president of Citizens United. Floyd started his career in President Reagan’s campaigns and as a political appointee in Reagan’s administration. Things that struck me about this interview: 1. Floyd turned 40 right around the time I met him, when I was in my first job out of college. At the time, I felt like Floyd was a huge success and the image of confidence. Floyd dispels that idea -- and tells me what he was really feeling inside at the time. 2. How productive your years between 40 and 60 are. "When you hit your 40s, your most productive days are still ahead of you." 3. His changed view of success. How he used to think success was about money and possessions and now he understands it's about people and relationships. 4. God uses humble people, not arrogant people. Floyd was arrogant, and needed to be humbled. 5. Floyd made his money when he wasn't focused on money. "Money finally came when I wasn't thinking about the money anymore." It was when Floyd started to think about service and people instead of being focused on himself.

15. 

    1 Mar 2020

    #3: Rick Soto on the gift of limitations

    Today my guest is Rick Soto. Rick and I go way back. He was one of the first people I met and had a real conversation with after I moved to Santa Barbara in 2002. When my future wife and I were involved in a serious accident in the middle of the night on October 27, 2002, I told the first officer on the scene, "Call Rick Soto." At the time Rick was a pastor at Calvary Chapel Santa Barbara. Rick is married to his lovely wife Jane for 29 years, they fell in love while serving the Lord in the former Soviet Union. They have 4 sons. You can find Rick at SimpleBibleCommentary.com (https://simplebiblecommentary.com/) and on Twitter he’s @GoRickSoto (https://twitter.com/goricksoto). He can also be found at RanchChurch.com (https://ranchchurch.com/) In 2018 when I was going through the darkest time of my life, Rick is someone I turned to. Over the years I have always appreciated his insight and friendship. Things that struck me in this interview: 1. "40 is the old age of youth and 60 is the youth of old age." 2. The gift of limitations. At 40 you start to recognize certain limitations on your life, and limitations are a gift because they allow you to hone in on where your gifts really are. 3. Rick said he was tired at 40, and when he said it, I felt it. 40 for him was a pivot point where he hit a wall and fell apart emotionally. 4. In January 2019 Rick was involved in a major accident that drastically altered his life. It was a "forced rest" and his perspective recently coming out of this experience was interesting to me. 5. At 40 he was reactionary. Now he moves at a less frantic pace. He's more strategic. "God has open doors before me that no man can shut." "I wake up every morning and there are doors opened up before me." "I'm much more at peace with who I'm not."

16. 

    29 Feb 2020

    #2: Bud Bence on power, influence and crisis

    Today my guest is Dr. Bud Bence. It’s hard for me to put into words just how much this man has meant to my life. In certain circles -- this is a man who needs no introduction. Certainly there’s a timeframe where if you were a student where I went to school -- Indiana Wesleyan University -- just the name Bud BEnce elicits all kinds of emotion. There was nothing so stirring as a Bud Bence lecture. I mean it could really get your heart pounding. Undergrad in Philosophy at Houghton College. M. Div in Church History at Asbury Theological Seminary. Ph.D in historical theology at Emory University. I remember him teaching classes like Church History and learning about Martin Luther. I took a course called The Theology of holiness with Bud. But what I and most of his students remember most about him weren’t his lectures -- and, I’m telling you -- his lectures were memorable. It was Bud’s heart that endeared students to him. And that’s been evidenced in Bud’s retirement years as he’s sat with countless students like me to talk about life -- to be that counselor and that friend. This conversation is similar to one Bud and I have had multiple times over the years -- and one I know he’s had with many of my classmates. Things that struck me: 1. The need to be vulnerable. To have a few people in your life you are vulnerable with and put yourself out there with. The layers of friends, and how important that inner-circle is. 2. The transition from success being defined by "power" to success being defined by "influence." 3. The importance of failure and providence in finding your purpose. 4. Earning the respect of your kids. I was struck by this quote where he talked about not getting what he wanted, and a transition time in his life: "How can I focus on on what I'm good at, not some image of what I think people would say, 'Wow!' about?... That's an important strategic moment in life.... What are the gifts I have that I ought to be honing rather than what's the dream that I'm chasing."

17. 

    20 Feb 2020

    #1: Launching the Dealing with 40 Project

    In this episode Clark Vandeventer introduces the Dealing with 40 Project. In short, Clark's had a really hard time dealing with 40. And he's spent a lot of time processing where he is and how he has not lived up to his own expectations. He's wanted to talk to people. To go back to old mentors and talk with them. To talk to some of the men and women who knew him when he was 20 years old. And they’re 60 or 80 now. Talk with other people he looks up to who are a little older and a little wiser and talk with them about life. And ask questions like, "Did you feel this way when you were 40?" Dealing with 40 is a series of interviews where Clark asks deep questions about life. From Clark: This a declaration, a plea, and an invitation. A declaration to live and to seek my destiny. A declaration to become the very best version of myself and to do great things. A plea that you would be patient with me, and with others. I have issues and I’m insecure. Please give me grace and know that even if I say something foolish or do something wrong that my heart is in the right place. Remember this of others too. Be kind. I’m guessing that you have your issues too. So please, please, let us affirm one another. I think we all probably spend enough time condemning ourselves. An invitation to join me on this journey. Lean in with me. Share the lessons that you have learned and the perspective you have gained. Listen to the wisdom shared by the people I interview as a part of this project. Commit to being the best version of yourself.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

Contact Dealing With 40

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.