"A country that punishes wanderlust with prison is not my country" - The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared <br/><br/><a href="https://tjannot.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">tjannot.substack.com</a>
How To Diaries
Claim This Podcastby Tommy H. Jannot
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"A country that punishes wanderlust with prison is not my country" - The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared <br/><br/><a href="https://tjannot.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">tjannot.substack.com</a>
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12/15/2024
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Recent Episodes
January 11, 2026
A Message Between Lines
<p><strong>With all the fuss about “Kathi,” I completely forgot to reply to my stepfather’s unique letter (see </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/dienstag-27-maerz-1984/"><strong>Tuesday, March 27</strong></a><strong>):</strong></p><p><strong>The German edition of 1984, The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared is now available in bookshops: 📖 </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://j4b.me/1984"><strong>https://j4b.me/1984</strong></a></p><p>Dear Dad! I was pleasantly surprised to receive your letter... I don’t know if my lawyer is in contact with you... You could ask him yourself: Dr. jur. h.c. Wolfgang Vogel (also licensed to practice in West Berlin)... After consulting my lawyer, I submitted a new application to leave the country. There were a few things to correct... I gave the record player to a friend for safety reasons... And as Mom so beautifully wrote, I will patiently eat the soup I’ve cooked for myself.</p><p>No matter what I write, the main thing is that the message—this one lawyer (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/donnerstag-2-februar-1984/">Tuesday, February 2</a>), renewed exit application, and that I will see this through—gets across.</p><p>“Blaschi” interrupts my thoughts by asking if I’ve ever heard of the “<a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/2013/02/17/was-gegen-das-buch-von-kerstin-apel-spricht/">crossword puzzle murder</a>.” Yes, there was something like that.</p><p><strong>Once Upon a Time in Germany, A Prequel to 1984, The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared is now available in bookshops: 📖 </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://j4b.me/doom"><strong>https://j4b.me/doom</strong></a></p><p></p><p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://tjannot.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">tjannot.substack.com/subscribe</a>
January 10, 2026
Five Letters, One Stolen Life
<p><strong>A “five-letter baking mix” is annoying ‘Blaschi’ again. I usually have an answer. But this time, I really can’t think of anything. “You. Must. Know!”, he presses.</strong></p><p><strong>The German edition of 1984, The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared is now available in bookshops: 📖 </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://j4b.me/1984"><strong>https://j4b.me/1984</strong></a></p><p>“Kathi,” he grumbles disappointedly. Why should I know that when the last thing I baked was sand cake in the sandbox, I grumble indignantly. Because the stuff comes from <a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halle_(Saale)#Stadtentwicklung_zur_Zeit_der_SBZ_und_DDR">Halle</a>! So what?</p><p>So what! “<a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathi_Rainer_Thiele">Kathi</a>” was a family business founded in the 1950s by <strong>Ka</strong>ethe and Kurt <strong>Thi</strong>ele. The company was so successful with its soups, sauces, and flours that the state gradually took it over.</p><p>In 1972, the owners were brutally expropriated. The founder is said to have suffered sudden hearing loss. Allegedly, he or his son works as a gatekeeper in his own company and hopes for the end of the GDR.</p><p>Blaschi considers this to be a rumor. But the expropriated owners will probably do some kind of meaningless job—most likely at the “Volkseigener Betrieb” (state-owned enterprise) VEB Backmehlwerk Halle, which now owns Kathi.</p><p>Thiele was smart enough to patent the trademark rights, which is why the baking mix is still called “Kathi” today and the logo can still be seen on the packaging, which is found in every grocery store, department store, and kitchen.</p><p>That’s what I really like about “Assi Blaschi” (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/sonntag-18-maerz-1984/">Sunday, March 18</a>). He knows about things I’ve never heard of. The story touches him so deeply because he lost his own craft in a similar way.</p><p>As a traveling scissors grinder, he traveled around a lot, talked to countless people in small towns and large villages, and was served coffee by lonely widows while he sharpened their kitchen knives, scissors, and who knows what ever.</p><p>One year, the damn bigwigs came and sent him to “production,” where he had to do menial work that was undignified. I wouldn’t understand that until I learned what self-employment really means.</p><p>Whether I know what the hammer, compass, and wheat sheaf on the GDR flag mean he ends his sour lecture. Yes, I do:</p><p>Our past was black until the Reds came and promised us golden times. Now we have to circulate so we don’t get hammered and lose our honor.</p><p>“Blaschi” is speechless and retreats defeated to his crossword puzzle, while I retaliate with a song by Wenke Myhre for his really interesting smart-aleck remarks</p><p>“<a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJrQiv-FHEg">Er hat ein’ KNALL-rotes Gummiboot</a> (He has a CRAZY red rubber raft) / Mit diesem Gummiboot fahr’n wir hinaus (With this rubber raft we sail away) / Er hat ein knallrotes Gummiboot (He has a bright red rubber raft) / Und erst im Abendrot (And only in the evening glow)...”</p><p><strong>Once Upon a Time in Germany, A Prequel to 1984, The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared is now available in bookshops: 📖 </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://j4b.me/doom"><strong>https://j4b.me/doom</strong></a></p><p></p><p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://tjannot.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">tjannot.substack.com/subscribe</a>
January 6, 2026
Hope Slips Through the Bars
<p><strong>In my thoughts, I congratulate Marion on her birthday, who turns 18 today. No one needs to know that I like her (see </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/dienstag-28-februar-1984/"><strong>Tuesday, February 28</strong></a>).</p><p><strong>The German edition of 1984, The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared is now available in bookshops: 📖 </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://j4b.me/1984"><strong>https://j4b.me/1984</strong></a></p><p>Just like Manfred Krug, with whom it all began. And Armin Müller-Stahl. And Nina Hagen. And all the other artists who have taken a stand.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manfred_Krug">Manfred Krug</a> could have been a good father, like my biological father (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/freitag-2-maerz-1984/">Friday, March 2</a>). Then maybe everything would have turned out differently.</p><p>Instead, he chose <a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_Biermann">Wolf Biermann</a> and turned his back on “<a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unsere_Heimat_(Lied)">Unserer Heimat (Our Homeland</a>)” with the utmost credibility.</p><p>Of all people, it was the rebellious communist Wolf Biermann—our “<a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Dylan">Robert Zimmerman</a>” under <a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Der_geteilte_Himmel">Christa Wolf’s “Geteiltem Himmel (divided sky)</a>“—who, with his cinematic <a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ausb%C3%BCrgerung#DDR">expatriation</a>, triggered something that the bigwigs will longer regret.</p><p>After they refused to let him return home in November 1976, there was a barrage of <a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ausb%C3%BCrgerung_Wolf_Biermanns#Proteste_und_Zustimmungen">public protests</a> with significant <a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ausb%C3%BCrgerung_Wolf_Biermanns#Folgen">consequences</a>.</p><p>That was followed by the summer when Kathrin and I crossed paths (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/freitag-13-januar-1984/">Friday, January 13</a>).</p><p>Even though we had no idea in 1977 what was really going on, one thing was clear: when popular artists, credible actors, and decent ordinary people leave the country in droves, then “<a target="_blank" href="https://www.br.de/radio/bayern2/sendungen/radiowissen/deutsch-und-literatur/hamlet-shakespeare-inhalt-100.html">something is rotten in the state of Denmark</a>“.</p><p>There are said to be people who would have liked to hear what Biermann actually sings, so forbidden were his songs.</p><p>His expatriation gave rise to an underground movement that heralded the beginning of the end of the GDR. But waiting for that takes too long for me.</p><p>Suddenly, the door opens. The little sergeant Schäfer looks into the cell. A letter for me. This time, it’s not my mother’s handwriting. But from “Dad.” I didn’t expect that.</p><p>“Dear Thomas!” he writes, no, he wrote on March 13. That was the day after my trial – 14 days ago! That’s how long it took the censors to scrutinize his text. It could be a trap.</p><p>Reading it brings tears to my eyes. If only this man (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/mittwoch-15-februar-1984/">Tuesday, February 14</a>) had spoken to me like this just once in my life, as he writes to me for the first time in my life.</p><p>As if what I’m in prison for is the most normal thing in the world. He visited “Mama (Grandma)” – and “the relatives” – who “all send their regards.”</p><p>This is no proof that he actually informed Wuppertal (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/montag-20-februar-1984/">Monday, February 20</a>). For me, however, it is a clear indication of–how clear harmless words in prison only can be.</p><p>This has increased my chances to 60 percent (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/mittwoch-7-maerz-1984/">Wednesday, March 7</a>). Now it’s up to Karin (see <a target="_blank" href="https://jannot.de/blog/1980s/donnerstag-8-maerz-1984/">Thursday, March 8</a>).</p><p>In my mind’s eye, I hear Nina Hagen’s “<a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RiDVoqRgr8">African Reggae</a>”:</p><p>“Es riecht so gut (It smells so good) / Pass auf, dass Du nicht geschnappt wirst (Take care not to get caught / (Die sind nämlich hinter Dir her (They’re after you) / Du alter Kiffer (You old pothead).”</p><p>Then I try to remember Biermann’s “<a target="_blank" href="https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballade_vom_preu%C3%9Fischen_Ikarus">Ballad of the Prussian Icarus</a>.”</p><p><strong>Once Upon a Time in Germany, A Prequel to 1984, The 18-Year-Old Who Wrote a Note and Disappeared is now available in bookshops: 📖 </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://j4b.me/doom"><strong>https://j4b.me/doom</strong></a></p><p></p><p></p><p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://tjannot.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">tjannot.substack.com/subscribe</a>
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