HOLDING THE TENSION: An Ennea-type Nine Leans Consciously into Conflict
Until they become more awakened the average enneagram type Nine finds subtle ways to steer clear of conflicts, especially in relationships. The avoidance of conflict is how Nine’s unconsciously believe they will achieve peace for their soul but, ironically, this “solution" becomes their primary problem because the avoidance provides only a false peace for the ego. Sooner or later, type Nines must learn to embrace conflict in order to mature and become a powerful force for others and enjoy true inner peace.
Today’s guest on HOWS THAT WORKING FOR YOU?, Nanette Mudiam, has been learning the importance of facing conflict consciously, first by facing her own mistakes in life head-on, and then later through a timely introduction to the deeper enneagram path, just as conflict seemed overwhelming. Today, as the executive director of a non-profit that provides physical, mental and spiritual health care, Nanette is utilizing all of her life experience and her strengths as a Nine to pull communities and resources together to minister to a politically and often even religiously controversial population. Join our conversation as she shares how she has learned to "hold the tension" of conflict long enough for solutions to emerge.
2 Dec 2022
THE DIVERSITY DIALOGUE IN RECOVERY: Step 1 - Admitting We Have a Problem
Talk to almost anyone who is in long-term recovery - regardless what their recovery is from - and almost universally you hear that they had fierce resistance to going to their first meeting. Or once they got up the courage to actually attend, then how hard it was to open up and be vulnerable with the group, and then keep coming back. Let's face it, very few of us came into the rooms of recovery without a lot of anxiety about what in the world we were getting ourself into.
But what if - in addition to that universal individual resistance to baring our soul in a recovery community - there are other barriers for many people of color who want and need a safe place for their recovery journey? What if a person of color in this country had good reason to question whether a predominantly white (or white male) recovery setting might not be safe for them? Unfortunately that is still a reality for many people of color seeking a recovery community.
Join us on HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? for a short conversation about this important issue in which we discuss a specific venue where the dialogue has started, the ongoing challenge of learning how to listen, and how the enneagram can aid in the work to be done in this crucial area.
30 Sept 2022
GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL! - When Being the Best is Not Enough
At the root of much of our addictive behavior is an intense felt sense of shame or sadness that arises from our feeling - at a deep level - our very self to be inherently “bad”. This in turn often drives the story of meaning we form very early in our life and can lead to a false belief that we do not deserve to belong anywhere or with anyone. Until we can find connection, community and caring to challenge that story in a thorough process over time, we will likely try to compensate with a mask or persona that serves to protect, promote or plan our way through life.
Any personality type can unconsciously cope in this way from an early age and carry it into adulthood. But it appears that the master of this “program for happiness” is the ennea-type Three, many of whom keep an array of different masks ready to don at a moment’s notice. Often experts at reading the room, Three’s seem to intuitively know with who, how and where they want to fit in, so that success, value and acceptance follow. But being the best at something usually brings with it a false sense of the belonging they were made for but fear is not to be theirs without performance.
Join us for this episode of HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? as Kyle Berman shares a life of early ‘adulting’ behaviors, including organizing a caper to steal his mom’s Mothers Day present at age 9 to declaring he would be the most well-planned, efficient and successful homeless person in his city! And in between and along the way we visit military school, Brazil, overdoses, suicide ideation and psych wards, and, finally, a community of genuine belonging and ongoing healing that is bringing his true self into being and driving an innovative vision for others.
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