About Is it me or is it them? the podcast with April Boyd
Toxic friends. Difficult family. Frustrating partners. Endless overthinking.
If you've ever found yourself asking, "Is it me or is it them?" this podcast is for you.
Hosted by therapist, relationship coach, and author April Boyd, Is It Me Or Is It Them? explores the patterns, dynamics, and difficult questions that show up in our relationships and our lives.
Each week you'll find practical tools, honest conversations, and hard-earned insights on boundaries, communication, self-trust, grief, anxiety, conflict, and connection—so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start showing up as the kindest, wisest, and bravest version of yourself.
What if the question isn’t “What’s wrong with me?” — but “What if I’ve outgrown the room I’m in?”
In this episode, April explores a quiet question many self-reflective people carry: What if I’m the problem?
You’ll hear about:
Why depth and honesty are often mislabeled as “too much”
How growth can feel isolating, even when you’re loved
Why editing yourself isn’t the same as being adaptable
What it can mean to crave deeper, more honest conversations
This conversation isn’t about leaving your relationships or replacing the people in your life.
It’s about understanding what happens when you change—and your inner world has more nuance than your current circle can easily hold.
If this episode resonates, Bold as Love (https://aprilboyd.ca/boldaslove) is a small, thoughtful group for women who want a place to speak freely, reflect honestly, and connect without shape-shifting.
Doors are closing soon.
Thanks for listening.
Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here (https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/y0c7gjidub).
Get on the Newsletter List here. (https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/ppxzb70s3e)
Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?
Message me and let me know.
email april@lovelossproject.com
Instagram @with.love.april
https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/ (https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/)
Please note:
This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed
All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.
8 Jan 2026
When Saying No Isn’t Respected: Control vs. Connection
Is there someone in your life who doesn’t take no for an answer? No matter how thoughtful, flexible, or accommodating you try to be, you still end up feeling pushed, dominated, or worn down.
In this episode, we explore what’s actually happening when someone wants control, not connection. If your boundaries consistently create escalation instead of respect, this conversation will help you name the pattern and stop blaming yourself.
You’ll learn how control often disguises itself as care, why your autonomy can feel threatening to certain people, and how power dynamics quietly replace reciprocity in these relationships.
In this episode, we cover:
The difference between connection and dominance
Why “trying harder” doesn’t fix control-based dynamics
Subtle control patterns like decision hijacking, schedule overrides, guilt, and public pressure
Why boundary violations aren’t misunderstandings
The relief that comes from correctly naming the problem
How to take care of yourself without waiting for others to change
If this episode resonates and you want support navigating difficult or draining relationships — while staying grounded in your self-respect — I share more about the Bold as Love Collective, an intimate coaching space for women who are done proving their worth.
Links & Resources:
→ Learn more about the Bold as Love Collective (https://aprilboyd.ca/boldaslove)
→ Questions? Email me anytime april@lovelossproject.com
Thanks for listening. I’ll see you next time.
Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here (https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/y0c7gjidub).
Get on the Newsletter List here. (https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/ppxzb70s3e)
Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?
Message me and let me know.
email april@lovelossproject.com
Instagram @with.love.april
https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/ (https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/)
Please note:
This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed
All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.
30 Dec 2025
Why Talking It Through Isn’t Working
As the holidays wind down, many women are realizing that despite having the conversations, choosing their words carefully, and doing their inner work, nothing has really changed in their relationships.
In this episode, April explores why talking things through sometimes backfires — and why trying harder to more clear can actually keep you stuck.
The missing piece isn’t better communication.
It’s understanding the competitive vs. collaborative disconnect — and learning how to interrupt gridlock before real connection is possible.
In This Episode, We Explore:
Why insight and self-awareness alone don’t create relational change
How well-intended conversations can turn into new fights
Why rehearsing conversations in your head rarely leads to breakthroughs
The idea of “relational software” — unconscious templates that drive conflict
The difference between a competitive mindset (me vs. you) and a collaborative mindset (us vs. the problem)
Why collaborative people often over-function, explain, or justify — and why that backfires
How competitive templates interpret explanation as dominance
Why naming the dynamic matters more than arguing the content
What it really takes to “open the door” so understanding is possible
Key Takeaways:
You don’t need to be more patient, calmer, or clearer
Change doesn’t come from one more perfectly worded conversation
When one person is in competition and the other is seeking collaboration, conversations will stall
You cannot explain someone out of a competitive stance
Real change starts when you stop engaging in win/lose dynamics
The work is not fixing yourself — it’s learning how to change the relational pattern
Questions to Reflect On:
When conflict comes up, do I tend to explain, justify, or prove my point?
What happens in my body when I feel dismissed or misunderstood?
Do my conversations feel like a battle — even when that’s not my intention?
What would change if my first goal was opening the door, not being understood?
About The Bold as Love Collective
This episode reflects the deeper work we practice inside The Bold as Love Collective — a small, intimate group for women who want to stop repeating the same relational patterns and learn how to navigate conflict, connection, and self-respect differently.
The group begins in January.
Details and the link to join. (https://aprilboyd.ca/boldaslove)
Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here (https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/y0c7gjidub).
Get on the Newsletter List here. (https://fun-cell-31288.myflodesk.com/ppxzb70s3e)
Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?
Message me and let me know.
email april@lovelossproject.com
Instagram @with.love.april
https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/ (https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/)
Please note:
This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed
All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
7 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
9 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 67 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
81
Social presence
94
YouTube
0
Engagement
85
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