Therapy is in session! Susan and Joshua Citrak- Tom DeBlasse Masters 5 brown belts- discuss our journey, training together as a couple, being a martial arts family, life as an older jiujitsu athlete, keeping the proper mindset and perspective in training and so much more. (This is not a podcast about techniques, drama, dissecting matches, though we do reserve the right to do any or all of them on any given episode)
Jiujitsu Couples Therapy
Claim This Podcastby Joshua Citrak
21 episodes
Updated Daily
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Podcast Overview
Therapy is in session! Susan and Joshua Citrak- Tom DeBlasse Masters 5 brown belts- discuss our journey, training together as a couple, being a martial arts family, life as an older jiujitsu athlete, keeping the proper mindset and perspective in training and so much more. (This is not a podcast about techniques, drama, dissecting matches, though we do reserve the right to do any or all of them on any given episode)
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
10/15/2025
1 verified contact email on file for Jiujitsu Couples Therapy
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Recent Episodes
April 13, 2026
Plateaus in Jiujitsu/ Breaking Confirmation Bias
<p>In this episode we ask: who are you avoiding in the training room and why? We discuss the psychological concept of confirmation bias and how it affects your training progress, mindset, and relationships on the mats. We explore the many ways in which our biases play politics, cliques and teaching methods in the gym and look at practical ways to identify and challenge these ingrained mental patterns to elevate your game and personal growth.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Confirmation Bias in Jiu Jitsu</b></p><p>37:49 - Strategies for challenging assumptions, including seeking out partners you avoid</p><p>39:16 - The importance of honest data collection and reflection after roles</p><p>40:22 - Reframing wins and losses as information, not judgments</p><p>41:40 - The value of working on techniques with diverse, top-tier training partners</p><p>43:41 - The need for integrating mental training and ego management</p><p>44:40 - The example of Keenan Cornelius deliberately shunning his A game to develop a holistic skill set</p><p>47:05 - Using deliberate practice to prevent stagnation and build resilience</p><p>48:02 - Final thoughts: questioning assumptions as a path to continuous growth</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Resources & Links:</b></p><ul><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Keenan+Cornelius" target="_blank">Keenan Cornelius - Developing a Holistic Jiu Jitsu Game</a> (search for his books or content)</li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/theory-mind" target="_blank">Theory of Mind - Understanding Others' Perspectives</a></li></ul><p><b>Connect with Joshua & Susan:</b></p><ul><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://instagram.com/jiujitsucouplestherapy" target="_blank">Instagram</a></li></ul><p><b>Note:</b> For actionable insights, keep questioning your assumptions, diversify your training partners, and stay aware of your mental filters to unlock new levels in both your Jiu Jitsu and life.</p>
April 1, 2026
"Earned My Blue Belt, Now What?/ I've Lost My Passion for Jiujitsu"
<p>In this episode we discuss: How to find your footing as a new blue belt- what you should focus on and what realistic goals to set, how to look for opportunities within your gym to build leadership skills. Also, it’s ok to be a hobbyist, jiujitsu doesn’t have to be your whole life, how to overcome boredom in jiujitsu as so much more.</p><p></p><p>00:35 - The significance of blue belt as a milestone and common ego pitfalls</p><p>01:04 - Expectations versus reality at blue belt and differentiation from other belts</p><p>05:19 - The value of focusing on a specific technique or aspect of your game</p><p>06:41 - Managing ego, pressure from higher belts, and setting achievable goals</p><p>07:37 - The power of consistent, targeted practice and mental framing</p><p>09:06 - The role of mentors in guiding your progression</p><p>12:23 - Expanding your game beyond comfort zones</p><p>13:23 - Giving back: becoming a helper or community role to stay engaged</p><p>15:48 - Recognizing patterns and applying analytical thinking</p><p>16:18 - Managing energy and maintaining support roles</p><p>17:17 - Dealing with burnout and the importance of mental health</p><p>18:19 - Reframing jiu-jitsu as a joyful part of life</p><p>19:01 - Letting go of perfectionism and guilt around missed training</p><p>20:27 - The balance of love and passion for jiu-jitsu</p><p>22:19 - The importance of training smart and respecting your body</p><p>23:31 - Breaking the identity that jiu-jitsu is all of who you are</p><p>27:42 - Cultivating passion without pressure or expectations</p><p>28:12 - Recognizing when you're losing love for the art and how to navigate it</p><p>29:10 - The value of taking breaks and seasonal shifts in passion</p><p>30:07 - Embracing change and life’s seasons using musical metaphors</p><p>31:40 - The importance of self-awareness and gradual evolution</p><p>33:08 - The pitfalls of measuring self-worth solely through achievement</p><p>37:04 - Accepting burnout and adjusting expectations</p><p>38:31 - Moving away from unhealthy competition obsession</p><p>40:35 - Defining your own version of success in jiu-jitsu</p><p>44:36 - Embracing aging and physical limitations</p><p>45:24 - Letting go of perfectionism and self-judgment</p><p>46:17 - Supporting teammates’ competing goals</p><p>47:15 - Do jiu-jitsu for your happiness, not external validation</p><p>48:08 - Closing thoughts: balance, community, and self-compassion</p><p>Resources & Links:</p><ul><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Jiu-Jitsu+Belt+System" target="_blank">The Jiu-Jitsu Belt System Explained</a> (General overview; search for authoritative guides)</li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/people/?keywords=jiu+jitsu+coach" target="_blank">Influential Jiu-Jitsu Mentors and Coaches</a></li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.martialartsmindset.com/mentorship" target="_blank">Role of Mentors in Martial Arts</a></li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-martial-arts-psychologist/202201/burnout-high-level-martial-art-training" target="_blank">Mental Health & Burnout in Martial Arts</a></li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://grapplinginsider.com/why-community-is-critical-in-bjj/" target="_blank">The Importance of Community in Jiu-Jitsu</a></li></ul><p>Connect with Joshua Citrak:</p><ul><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://twitter.com/joshcitrak" target="_blank">Twitter</a></li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://instagram.com/joshcitrak" target="_blank">Instagram</a></li></ul>
March 24, 2026
Will BJJ Make My Kid A Bully?/ Afraid of Losing in Front of Your Coach?
<p>We discuss: whether BJJ is really good for kid’s self defense, will jiujitsu make my kid into a bully, the value of learning martial arts virtues (discipline, confidence, courage) at a young age, coaching leadership styles, I hate losing in front of my coach (and he/she probably hates watching you lose), reenforcing positive mindsets no matter the outcome and so much more.</p><ul><li>(00:00) - Introduction: Kids' self-defense vs. fighting instinct & coaching influence</li><li>(03:02) - Is Jiu Jitsu beneficial for children's self-defense, or does it risk teaching children to fight?</li><li>(04:33) - The importance of practical self-defense skills like escaping from pins or headlocks</li><li>(05:56) - The limitations of sport-focused submissions for real-world self-defense</li><li>(07:47) - The importance of age-appropriate training and realistic expectations</li><li>(08:47) - Can Jiu Jitsu help kids handle situations involving multiple attackers?</li><li>(10:14) - The significance of developing confidence, voice, and responsibility in children</li><li>(13:33) - Does training make kids bully-proof or could it foster aggression if coached poorly?</li><li>(14:43) - The internal vs. external validation: coaching for growth vs. ego</li><li>(16:11) - How to evaluate a gym during trial classes: attention, behavior, environment</li><li>(17:38) - The role of mentorship among older students; building leadership in kids</li><li>(20:34) - How coaches and gym culture influence kids' behavior and confidence</li><li>(22:01) - The inherently selfish nature of Jiu Jitsu and its impact on student mentality</li><li>(23:04) - Risks of toxic competition culture: bullying, peer pressure, and unhealthy validation</li><li>(25:07) - Coaches who tie their self-worth to students' results and the risks involved</li><li>(26:07) - Managing expectations and the importance of leadership and team culture</li><li>(28:48) - Celebrating effort and personal growth over medals and rankings</li><li>(30:15) - Helping students recover from disappointment; fostering resilience</li><li>(33:38) - Rethinking competitive priorities: fun, camaraderie, and community</li><li>(37:02) - The most meaningful moments: supporting kids through victories and losses</li><li>(40:26) - The value of losing and setbacks for personal growth</li><li>(44:47) - The impact of judgment, comparison, and creating a supportive environment</li><li>(49:03) - Closing thoughts: focus on individual progress and avoiding toxic competition culture</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Resources & Links</b></p><ul><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.gracieuniversity.com/" target="_blank">Gracie University</a> – for self-defense and anti-bullying programs</li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.example.com/confidence-kids-martial-article" target="_blank">The Role of Confidence in Kids' Martial Arts</a></li><li><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.coachingpsychology.org/" target="_blank">Understanding Coaching Impact</a></li></ul><p><b>Connect with the Hosts:</b></p><ul><li>Joshua Citrak - <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://linkedin.com/in/joshua-citrak" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://twitter.com/joshcitrak" target="_blank">Twitter</a> | <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/jiujitsucouplestherapy" target="_blank">Instagram</a></li></ul>
21 total episodes available
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- What is Jiujitsu Couples Therapy?
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This podcast updates daily.
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This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
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Yes, this podcast regularly features guests.
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