Judgment, Not Judgmental | Parenting Tools + Conversations That Support Moms in Raising Their Family... Their Way

About Judgment, Not Judgmental | Parenting Tools + Conversations That Support Moms in Raising Their Family... Their Way

Shamey parenting energy is not welcome here. Judgment, Not Judgmental is the podcast for moms who know what they're doing and still — very much — lose it. Not solely venting, and not solely expert advice. More like if those two had a baby? It’s two parents choosing curiosity over criticism, celebrating what’s working, laughing through what’s not, and giving you something small and usable you can actually try this week (because yes… we do know what we’re talking about). Hosted by Rachel — parenting strategist from the child welfare world with an MSW and girl mom of two — and Rosie — PA with a psych background and boy mom of two — it’s the show where two best friends talk about all the things happening in their homes, their heads, and their hearts… without pretending to have it all figured out. We believe in judgment — the kind you use to make decisions, set boundaries, and protect your peace. Moms need that. Kids need that. And we’re human — of course we have opinions. What we don’t do is judgmental — the shamey, side-eye, mean-girl-higher-than-thou energy. We know everyone has a different take on feeding, sleeping, working, discipline, meltdowns, screen time, childcare — all of it. It's fine. But we’re also not here to co-sign every parenting moment just because it was hard. If something is coming at your kid’s expense, we’re gonna talk about it. Not to call you out — but because YOU don’t feel good stuck in that place, and neither do they. You can lose it sometimes, but you don’t have to live there. Each episode feels like the thing you wish you had time for: getting out of the house, sitting across from your friend, unloading, re-thinking, and re-entering your day feeling better. Except you don’t have to plan childcare or put on real pants. Let this be the version of friend time that acts like a shot of caffeine, when what you really need is sleep. We get into: → The why behind the hard moments — your kids, your partner, your reactions → The pressure and opinions moms are drowning in, → The tiny, emotionally intelligent shifts that make the day feel lighter. If you know what you're doing, you’re losing it anyway, and you’re just trying to love parenting as much as you’re meant to — so are we. Pull up a chair. We saved you a seat.

Publisher

Rachel Lefebvre & Rosie Whinnery

Category

education · health & fitness · kids & family

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

9 Dec 2025

Latest episode

22 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

11 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   22 Sept 2026

   "My Brain Is on Fire": Reading a Dysregulated Kid & Why Skills Beat Routines

   This week Rachel and Rosie are both coming off brutal stretches: a dog's six-hour emergency surgery, bedtime meltdowns, and what do you do when your kid "I don't wanna talk anymore." We’d love to be tidy but just being honest… we did a lot of re-learning this week. your kid’s behavior while dysregulated can tell you a lot about next steps. In this episode, we chat about: • Why trying to teach a lesson mid-tantrum is a waste of your time and energy, and what to do instead • The real difference between "dysregulated" and "unregulated" (we looked it up live, and it was actually an “aha”) • The gut-check question for when a fight feels unreasonably big for than the thing you're actually fighting about • Why taking off your referee hat and letting siblings hash it out themselves is THE skill to work on this week • How skills beat routines every time when your kid's context changes completely ⭐ Resources Mentioned: • Dr. Siggie (Instagram) (https://www.instagram.com/dr.siggie/?hl=en) — the "no teaching mid-tantrum" framing Rosie references • I Love You Forever — the book Rachel won't keep in the house • Magic Tree House and A to Z Mysteries — our current bedtime chapter book favorites • Richard Scarry / Busytown books — the ones that got packed away • Dolly Parton's Imagination Library (https://imaginationlibrary.com/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=66333975&gbraid=0AAAAADy_RbmuitUbcdk874TfA7ZNkloaV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzsjVBhC3ARIsALnMv4kJTdrV1KVA4ZJq7bFtxHZZ-l_Ps0reSgt_QRGH17nhM5PZeUvIOeUaArCgEALw_wcB) ✨ Connect with Rachel & Rosie: • Listen: Judgment, Not Judgmental on Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/judgment-not-judgmental-parenting-tools-conversations/id1860081561) • @Judgment_Not_Judgmental (https://www.instagram.com/judgment_not_judgmental/) • @RegulatingWithRachel (https://www.instagram.com/regulatingwithrachel/) 💛 Loved this episode? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts — it helps more parents find the show!

2. 

   4 Jul 2026

   You Didn't Fall In Love With A Dad: Loving Your Partner As A Person (Not Just A Co-Parent)

   Rachel and Rosie talk about feuding with Jamie about baby cuddles until he check-mates her with argument using video game terminology, and how Aiden knows Rosie better than anyone as he supports her giving a stranger the Heimlich over a choked-on brat, and we love on the moms who understand that 8:30AM is the BEST playdate time. This is Rachel and Rosie's Father's Day dispatch on husbands — but really it's about loving your partner as a person, not just the parent they became after you had kids. In this episode, you can join the convo about: • Why "you didn't fall in love with a dad" is the reframe that keeps you from losing your partner inside the parenting role • What Rosie's husband does that she can't — the specific way he "disarms" a meltdown when she's at her wit's end • Using the "When-then" as the level 1 expectation-setting phrase that gets your kids to listen even at a year and a half old (and why most people skip the first half of it) • What to do when you and your partner are dysregulated at the same time — hint: it's not "wait until we're calm to talk" • Why gentleness isn't the opposite of strength — it's the thing that keeps strength from becoming a blind spot Rachel and Rosie recorded this the week of Father's Day, right after Rachel's home buyers tried to schedule a walkthrough at 8:30am on Father's Day (no). From we sincerely do our best to stay on topic: what it looks like when one partner becomes "the only one who can read the baby" (especially during breastfeeding), strong couple foundations and how Rachel calls Jamie out without turning it into a fight, and why writing down what you love about your partner — not as a co-parent, just as a person — is worth doing today, not just on Father's Day. ⭐ Resources Mentioned: • Thrive Institute infant CPR/first aid course • Five Love Languages assessment • "One Last Thing" — Judgment, Not Judgmental episode 7 ✨ Connect with Judgment, Not Judgmental — hosted by Rachel & Rosie: • Website: rachellefebvre.com (http://rachellefebvre.com) • Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental + @regulatingwithrachel • Rachel's Emotionally Efficient Parenting™ program to learn to do math with feelings (DM JNJ) 💛 Loved this episode? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or send this one to a friend who needs it.

3. 

   2 Jun 2026

   “First of All... Don’t Tell Me What To Do”: Relationship Repair & Emotional Regulation

   Rachel and Rosie start with vocabulary words and somehow end up talking about ADHD, re-parenting, emotional regulation, and ChapStick. They discuss the question that immediately reduced tension with both a husband and a toddler, why parenting starts with exhaustion instead of expertise, and how a five-second pause can completely change a conversation. WHAT WE TALK ABOUT IN THIS EPISODE → why "I need you to be ready" landed so badly → the same relationship troubleshooting question working on both the husband and a toddler → what you're actually afraid of losing in moments of tension → why some people need a question before they can find an answer → maternal mental health and taking time for yourself → re-parenting, self-regulation, and making your own voice matter → parenting in the Wild West of conflicting advice → "new plan," "proof of life," and other phrases that make family life easier → why parenting doesn't start with expertise—it starts with exhaustion → what repair really sounds like after a hard moment → modeling for your kids how to pause before reacting 🔗 LINKS & MENTIONS - Lingvano app for learning American Sign Language 🤍 CONNECT WITH US Instagram: → @judgment_not_judgmental → @regulatingwithrachel If this episode felt like your life: Send it to the friend you voice note when everything feels like too much. Or DM us. We’re really glad you’re here.

4. 

   5 May 2026

   What to Say Instead of “What’s Wrong?”, Moving with Toddlers & The Tangents from Hiatus

   Rachel and Rosie come back from a hiatus with moving chaos, flooded basements, tornado warnings, and a moment that ends in a dog bed surrounded by two giant dogs wondering why everyone needs to touch you at the exact same time—plus about twenty tangents (including literal math) that somehow still end up looping back around?? 🔍 WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IN THIS EPISODE → packing up your entire house while still living in it with kids, animals, and zero personal space → a toddler melting down over sleeves… that turns out to be about wanting her sister → “I don’t like where you put my bed” and what that actually means during a move → the moment everything stacks—noise, touch, questions—and you hit your limit → sitting in a dog bed because it’s the only place no one else is → why asking “what’s wrong?” usually gets you nowhere in a meltdown → what happens when you stop asking questions and just say what you think is going on → how fast a small moment turns into snapping at your partner when you’re already overwhelmed Nothing is technically *wrong* it’s just *a lot *. It’s: - transitions - noise - competing needs - you’re overstimulated af - and toddlers trying to communicate things they don’t fully understand yet This episode helps you slow it down just enough to see: what’s is the behavior GIVING the person? that’s not negotiable — but how it happens is. That’s how you respond in a way that supports your child’s emotional regulation **and** your own. 🔥 TAKEAWAYS - A toddler tantrum is usually not about the thing they’re upset about—it’s often about a transition, a change, or something that didn’t match their expectation - When everything feels overwhelming (for you), it’s usually overstimulation—not just “too many things,” but not having space to process any of it - Naming what you think is happening (“you wanted your sister,” “you didn’t like your room changing”) works better than asking questions in the middle of a meltdown - Trying to fix or redirect too quickly can actually make emotional regulation harder—for both of you - A lot of parenting moments aren’t behavior problems—they’re communication problems happening in real time 🔗 LINKS & MENTIONS - The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld - Dolly Parton Imagination Library (imaginationlibrary.com) 🤍 CONNECT WITH US Instagram: → @judgment_not_judgmental → @regulatingwithrachel If this episode felt like your life: Send it to the friend you voice note when everything feels like too much. Or DM us. We’re really glad you’re here.

5. 

   18 Mar 2026

   “I Did the Hard Thing Because I’m a Parent”: One Last Thing vs. A 46-Minute Bath

   Rachel and Rosie record this episode for the third time at 9:36pm. They talk about kids who take choking hazards very seriously, getting stuck in the kitchen with three animals and a baby grabbing your pants, and the audacity of being interrupted mid-thought. 🔗 LINKS & MENTIONS → Rachel’s Instagram: @regulatingwithrachel (https://www.instagram.com/regulatingwithrachel/?hl=en) → January 9th post: “One Last Thing” concept (https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTS30zzjRWd/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) → Allegra Cohen – Micro Joy Algorithm TED Talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyNbnm4MDYs) → What To Do With Your Baby Every Day by Rachel Lefebvre → Paperback (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GF67RBT2) on Amazon → PDF + ASL posters (https://rachellefebvre.mykajabi.com/babybook) 🤍 CONNECT WITH US → Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental If this episode felt like a conversation you got *anything* from at all: → Share it with a friend who’s in the thick of toddler (or big kid… or grown up?) transition troubles → Send us a DM with your “one last thing” wins (first try or 14th) → Leave a review so we can keep having more of these conversations We’re really building this with you, not just for you.

6. 

   24 Feb 2026

   “I Feel Like Nobody Is Taking Care of Me”: Disney World & The Mom Olympics

   This episode starts as a Disney vacation recap and turns into a conversation about recalibrating expectations, repairing with your kids, saying yes on purpose, and the Olympic-level skills moms use every single day without getting a medal for any of it. What We’re Talking About in This Episode → what happens when your princess kid doesn’t like the princesses → “just take a picture” → the difference between your expectations and their experience → a 3-year-old saying, “I feel like nobody is taking care of me right now” → what it looks like when emotional regulation actually works in a chaotic environment → the skill of letting fun win → the art of the pivot → how “losing it” doesn’t always look like yelling → and the invisible Olympic sports moms are competing in daily This episode is really about what happens when reality doesn’t match the picture in your head — whether that’s a vacation, a grocery run, a playdate, or a random Tuesday when everyone’s sick. 🏅 Let Us Brag: What’s one mom thing you do that deserves an Olympic gold medal? The answers did not disappoint. Links & Mentions His & Hers (Netflix) The Traitors The Lincoln Lawyer The Olympics (obviously) Duolingo Connect With Us Podcast: Judgment, Not Judgmental Instagram (Podcast): @judgment_not_judgmental Rachel: @regulatingwithrachel → PLUS: What To Do With Your Baby Every Day book by Rachel Lefebvre DM us your gold-medal mom skill. We’re collecting them. If this episode made you laugh or feel seen, subscribe and leave a review on Apple or Spotify — it genuinely helps more parents find the show. We’re really glad you’re here.

7. 

   2 Feb 2026

   Showing Up for Your Kids Without Ignoring What’s on Your Heart

   In this episode, we talk about what it actually looks like to parent when the world feels like it’s on fire — not in theory, but in real time. We talk about the mental tug-of-war between staying informed and staying functional. About trying to show up for our kids while our brains are half somewhere else. About why “just ignoring it” doesn’t work — and why living in constant doom doesn’t either. This conversation goes the usual way — oscillating between grief, anger, fear, and empathy — and then we talk about cleaning sprays, screen time, sourdough, Disney movies, and honey toast. Not because those things fix anything, but because they’re part of how we keep going. We share what’s helping us regulate *right now*: – Finding anchors when our nervous systems are shot – Letting routines bend without breaking – Using stories, movies, and nostalgia to talk about big ideas with little kids – Why it’s okay for kids to see our emotions — and where the line actually is – How partners often regulate differently, and why that can be a strength – The difference between using tools (screens, routines, distractions) versus relying on them – Why advocacy, care, and “doing something” don’t look the same for everyone This isn’t about having the perfect response to hard things. It’s about finding reliable ways to stay connected to yourself, your kids, and your values — even when the conditions change. If you’ve been feeling half-present, emotionally fried, or unsure how to hold all of this *and* still parent — this episode is for you. 📣 Stay Connected Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental Rachel: @regulatingwithrachel If your mind went off into a million directions here like ours did with this conversation please join the convo, subscribe and leave a review — it helps us keep building this space, and helps the show get better. Xo, chat next time!

8. 

   15 Jan 2026

   Puss in Boots Explains How to Achieve Parenting Goals Better Than Most Experts

   Rachel turns parenting goals into a Shrek-universe map and makes Rosie answer uncomfortable (but useful) questions (down below! ↓) about why it doesn’t feel like a straightforward field of flowers right now. This episode is about auditing your parenting terrain without turning it into a boring, clinical mess—and why the goal isn’t “no obstacles,” it’s fewer emotional threats at once. If getting on track with your goals feels harder to navigate than it should, this will help you see why. The big idea: You can’t make a meaningful change if you don’t know what you’re working with first. And when feelings and fears have less control over the map, the terrain gets easier. The Map Questions We Use in the Episode: → “Who do you want on your team, and who is competing for their own wish and making it harder to get to yours?” → “If you had to describe your map in one word right now, what would it be?” → “When does your map start to feel harder to navigate?” → “Where does your map actually feel easiest right now?” And the question that ties it all together: → “Why do you think your map looks the way it does right now?”
(Season of life, sleep, support, expectations, energy, transitions.) The Actual Takeaway You don’t need a new goal. You need a clearer map. When fear, pressure, or old expectations stop running the terrain, movement gets easier—even if nothing changes overnight. 📣 Stay Connected DM us your “map” — words, visuals, voice notes, all of it. We love seeing how this lands. Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental Rachel: @regulatingwithrachel And if this episode helped you think differently, subscribe and leave a review. It helps us keep building this space — and helps the show get better. Xo, chat next time!

9. 

   6 Jan 2026

   7 Questions to Turn Holiday Exhaustion Into Momentum for YOUR Family in the New Year

   The holidays leave a lot of information behind — if we don’t ignore it. In this episode, we talk through 7 questions we ask after the chaos settles to figure out what actually worked for our family… and what we don’t want to carry forward next time. Not to overanalyze — but to make things easier the next go around. Think of it like this: the exhaustion is data. And if we use it before it fades, it can shape better traditions, clearer expectations, and fewer “why do we do this every year?” moments. If you’re in that post-holiday fog but feel like there’s something worth keeping (or changing), this one’s for you. 📣 Connect With Us Rachel on Instagram: @regulatingwithrachel Podcast Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental If this episode resonated, subscribe and leave a review — it helps more moms find the show and helps us keep making it better. We’re really glad you’re here.

10. 

    17 Dec 2025

    Bonding with Mom Friends Without Making It Weird (Especially If You Don’t Know Where to Start)

    In this episode, we talk about something that comes up all the time in our DMs and real-life conversations: mom friends. How to find them, why they matter so much, and why it can feel surprisingly vulnerable (and awkward) to even try. This conversation goes exactly where real mom conversations go — a little all over the place. We talk about library story hours, swim lessons, group chats that quietly change your postpartum experience, and the friendships that don’t look like a “group” but still end up being everything you need in a season. We also talk honestly about how weird it can feel to put yourself out there as an adult, how becoming a mom shifts the way you think about friendship, and why not every mom friend has to be your best friend to still matter. If you’ve ever left an interaction thinking, “That felt really nice… should I have asked for her number?” — this episode is for you. ✨ What We End Up Talking About → Why making mom friends feels more vulnerable than we expected → What “finding your mom group” actually looks like in real life (and why it’s usually not one tight circle) → How everyday places — story hour, swim lessons, school pickup — become connection points → Why texts can be lifesaving, even if you never hang out in person → Having different friends for different needs (and letting that be okay) → Getting past the awkward “are we friends now?” moment → Differences in risk tolerance, judgment, and letting kids be kids when moms get together 🧠 The Thing We Keep Coming Back To: You don’t need more friends. You need connection that fits the season you’re in. Some mom friends are for advice.
Some are for venting.
Some are for sending pictures at 2am.
 Some are just for a really good conversation once a week. And a lot of the time, it starts smaller and simpler than we think. 💛 A Gentle Reminder: You’re not bad at making friends. And you don’t have to wait until you find the “perfect” group to feel less alone. Sometimes it really does start with:
“How old is yours?” 📣 Connect With Us Rachel on Instagram: @regulatingwithrachel The podcast on Instagram: @judgment_not_judgmental If this episode resonated, subscribe and leave a review — it helps more moms find the show and helps us keep making it better. We’re really glad you’re here!!!

11. 

    9 Dec 2025

    The Mental Load of the Holidays & The Big "Should We Have More Kids?" Conversation

    Welcome to the very first episode of Judgment, Not Judgmental — the candid podcast where Rosie and Rachel talk about the things moms usually only talk about in the comfort of their best friend’s presence. In this debut conversation, your hosts dive straight into the two biggest themes dominating their lives right now: → the invisible mental load of the holidays and → the emotional, complicated “Should we have more kids?” conversation. They also open up about postpartum experiences, spiritual dreams that shaped their pregnancies, and navigating family gatherings with toddlers and babies. Grab a warm drink (and possibly a snack hidden from your kids) and settle in for an honest, comforting girl chat. The TL;DR: → The invisible mental load moms carry during the holidays → How pregnancy dreams and spiritual moments influenced their families → Postpartum preeclampsia and healing from difficult pregnancies → The pressure — internal and external — around having more kids → Traveling and hosting during the holidays with little ones → Managing expectations with partners before family gatherings → Why their friendship is a safe, grounding space in motherhood Episode Highlights → Rachel’s vivid dreams that seemed to predict the births of all her children → A psychic reading that said she’d have four kids (!?) → Rosie’s experience with postpartum preeclampsia and recovery → Honest reflection on wanting more kids… and honestly, not knowing → Their go-to communication trick that keeps holiday chaos manageable We’ll Never Leave You Without A Use-Today Nugget: Before any holiday gathering:
check in with your partner in the car on the way there. Anything you already know is likely to go awry... make sure one of you isn't "it is what it is" while the other is... the opposite. Clarify expectations, roles, and what your kids might need — it prevents stress and keeps you a united team. 📣 Connect With Us You’re part of this trio—so we want to hear YOUR takes. → Are you ready for the holiday mental load? Been unsure about having more kids? Tell us about your pregnancy dreams. SAY HI to Rachel on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/regulatingwithrachel/ (https://www.instagram.com/regulatingwithrachel/) Email us → judgementnotjudgemental@gmail.com (mailto:judgementnotjudgemental@gmail.com) If this episode resonated with you, hit subscribe and leave a review — it helps more moms find the show and helps us keep getting better for you. 💛

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Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

5 ratings

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