by Marcy Larson, MD
When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
8/28/2019
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June 27, 2024
<p>After Maxine's son, 19-year-old Chandler, died when his truck caught on fire 7 months ago, she knew that there was no way that she could get through even one day without God's help. Maxine says that she 'fell to her knees and thanked God for every second that she got to be Chandler's Mom.' After walking beside her sister after losing her 14-year-old son nine years before, Maxine had an idea of how painful this journey of child loss was going to be. She also knew that after all the prayers for her sister and encouraging her sister's faith, she needed to do the same for herself.</p> <p>Witnessing her sister's grief certainly helped Maxine gain insight as to what life was going to be like moving forward. In some ways, I'm sure that was scary for Maxine. She remembered witnessing her sister's pain. She knew that now, even 9 years later, her sister remains forever changed. Having that insight, however, was a motivator for Maxine to start working on her grief right away. She prayed for God to show her resources to help. She prayed before finding my podcast. Maxine emailed me soon after starting to listen and recently joined one of my virtual support groups.</p> <p>Maxine's grief journey is the perfect example of how broken people do the best job of helping other broken people. As much as she loves and appreciates all of her friends and the help that they offer, Maxine says that in addition to her sister's help, her best help comes from listening to stories on the podcast and talking to other bereaved moms in our faith-based support group. Although a few months ago, we were all strangers, Maxine feels like she could not love them any more than if they were friends she had known for years.</p> <p>Bereaved parents understand each other in ways that others can't and that understanding brings comfort. When Maxine says that although the pain sometimes feels unbearable, being Chandler's mom is worth every tear, every struggle, and all of the pain, we all nod through our tears. We all love our kids so much and would not give up a second of their lives to decrease our pain. Together, we can keep living each day.</p>
June 20, 2024
<div class="zmail_extra" data-zbluepencil-ignore="true"> <blockquote id="blockquote_zmail"> <div> <div> <div> <div> <div>Today's guest, Pat, says that when her son Alex (all his friends called him Clarke) was young, her family would have been considered a 'good' family. She and her husband were college professors with great jobs and an amazing son who was both intelligent and athletic. They enjoyed backyard barbecues with friends and neighbors. They had no idea that a major change was just around the corner.</div> </div> </div> <div> </div> <div>After Alex turned 12, he began to suffer from anxiety and a severe eating disorder. His ready smile seemed to disappear and their lives were now instead filled with therapists and doctors, doing both outpatient and inpatient treatments to try to battle his mental illness. After much therapy, it seemed that the eating disorder symptoms were better and that the worst might be behind them. Unfortunately, this was only the beginning for Alex and his family.</div> <div> </div> <div>Alex journaled so many parts of his journey and mental health struggles. Life felt like it was spinning out of control, and initially, he felt better when controlling his eating. As he got older, however, he began to turn first to alcohol and then to drugs to gain a sense of control. Pat says Alex's life 'veered between happiness, anxiety, success, and despair.' Alex entered rehab again and again but ultimately lost his life to a drug overdose.</div> <div> </div> <div>Pat was crushed as all bereaved mothers are and wondered what more they might have done. With her background as a sociology professor, she began to look at Alex's life differently. Pat began to research social and institutional factors that may have contributed to Alex's death. She looked closely at Alex's life by interviewing friends, therapists, police officers, and others who knew Alex. She compiled all this into a book, <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Alex-Mothers-Story-Addiction/dp/197883702X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=129DP0YXWM4W&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.AwVSudT4HNQUWqJSUy6BGWUOm5aMN0xKqa-Pa3FgST0ZKdu18kPCek3vOKGkvIenpAw-ESHFwp-fC2mxDt4rWrMUxFDGlfLLHyAIYdHExJi5omPqQfSTePyLuVcO_L2ZKENRTDBaHbsrw8SLBptu4hjj9BRcuNJqZl_G-sSoCbniO3PiISeNKF2SL_ymYA_2LhjqWae4lvQH859-z7RqEbdqhZWXAjM-n5oDI27Q98o.OBkbyKXH-ZeOdBZ_sGg9aUwzHe2F6DsNAC9-yK5EXaM&dib_tag=se&keywords=surviving+alex+book&qid=1718811258&sprefix=surviving+alex%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Surviving Alex: A Mother's Story of Love, Loss, and Addiction</a>. In her book, she 'calls for a community of action that would improve care for substance users and reduce addiction, realigning public health policy to address the overdose crisis.' She hopes that through Alex's story, she can show the world a more compassionate, caring way to help those suffering from mental health and substance use issues.</div> </div> </div> </blockquote> </div>
June 13, 2024
<p>When listener, Carolyn, sent us a list of topics that she thought would be great for our Livestream chats, several stood out to us as great ideas. The first one we decided to tackle concerned the Work of Grief and even more specifically having an annual grief plan in place. To be honest, the idea of a grief plan both intrigued me and gave me anxiety. I feared that if I found myself unable to follow the plan, I would feel like I had failed and I worried that I would feel worse instead of better. </p> <p>After Carolyn listened Monday night, she wrote back to me giving me even more to think about. Carolyn wrote, 'My Annual Grief Plan is a dynamic document. I set goals and adjust them along the way. It changes every year. I don't feel like a failure because grief is unpredictable. I helps me to continue to move forward with love for Jimmy.' She went on to write that she had worked on her grief plan recently. Her plan has four categories: Grief, Spiritual, Health and Friends. One of her goals for this year was to start a memorial garden (see picture on website). Other goals included changes in her diet and acknowledging changes in friendships.</p> <p>Listening to the podcast again and reading that email got me to think about my own grief plans. I wonder if writing them down in this way would help me achieve more in my grief so I am deciding to give it a try.</p> <p>1. Grief - Co-host my first grief retreat. Explore what future retreats might look like.<br /> 2. Spiritual - Increase my trust in God by being more intentional with prayer.<br /> 3. Health - Improve diet and exercise daily.<br /> 4. Friends - Go out socially with friends at least once per month.</p> <p>Well, there it is for the world to see. My current annual plan. Its not complicated, but hopefully having specific goals will help my focus. A few months from now, I will be able to look back and see where I am, knowing that my plan too, is a dynamic document. As I revisit the plan in 2025, it will almost certainly change, but not because I have failed in some way. It will change because my grief will change and as my grief changes, I will as well. Thank you, Carolyn, for your inspiration.</p>
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