Mostly Chillin

May 30, 2021

1. Finding Composure (ft. Michael Conley, Rayan Rutledge, Tim Lowery II)

<p>This episode was so hard for me. Being the first one, it doesn't feel like it was 2-hours in the making, but 34-years of frustration trying to find a way out of me. I started with the subject of race relations because it's important to me, and also because it makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, even childlike (at times) in my search for an understanding of how others see the world.&nbsp;</p> <p>This is the start of me taking down a wall and finding some kind of composure to have a real conversation about a subsection of white American culture that I have found incredibly hard to love. You'll hear from Mike and Rayan about their first-hand experiences, and how they've learned to cope with a world that sees them differently. You'll also hear about things that make me uncomfortable, my voice will shake, my anger will show, my ego will flex, I'll make mistakes, we'll talk it out, but most importantly, you'll hear my closest step in showing you my most authentic self. I'm trying to evolve and also to get involved in something greater than myself.&nbsp;</p> <p>I hope you enjoy it as much as I did hanging out with these guys and recording it. &nbsp;</p> <p>-------</p> <p><strong>On The Mic(s):&nbsp;</strong></p> <ul> <li><strong>Michael Conley: </strong>been my homie since high school and is my greatest sparring partner. He keeps me on my toes and holds me accountable (tries to). I consider him family. He's an author and the founder of his own podcast (both go by the same name) <a href="https://www.amazon.com/More-Nonversations-Marginalizing-Conversations-Communication/dp/1631030558/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&amp;qid=1622355899&amp;refinements=p_27%3AMichael+Conley&amp;s=books&amp;sr=1-2">No More Non-versations</a>, where he takes on modern life scenarios with a philosopher's lens. He's an original human in an unoriginal time.&nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Rayan Rutledge: </strong>Rayan and I used to compete with each other at opposing software companies in the same industry and then ended up having a small tea break together at another company some years later. We quickly bonded over shared perspective and experience and he's been helping me to calmly reflect on life's complexities ever since. He's the big bro that I need in my life at the moment.&nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Tim Lowery II: </strong>Tater's one of my longest friends. Met at field day in the third grade (a story for another day) and became family shortly after that. He's seen me at my best and worst and had a front-row seat to the most awkward times of my life. He understands the layers of my anger and the depths of my pain.&nbsp;</li> </ul> <p><strong>Vibes:&nbsp;</strong></p> <ul> <li><strong>Emotionally Scarred</strong> - Lil Baby</li> <li><strong>Patience</strong> - Nas &amp; Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley</li> <li><strong>Me Vs Me</strong> - Moneybagg Yo</li> <li><strong>I Ain't Perfect</strong> - Mozzy&nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Pride is the Devil</strong> - J. Cole</li> </ul>