The My Spouse Died Too podcast gives you hope, so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. You're not alone, because My Spouse Died Too. My name is Emeric McCleary. I'm your host. Join me and our widowed guests. This ain't your Grandma's grief group!
My Spouse Died Too
Claim This Podcastby Emeric McCleary, Widower
4.9(32 reviews)
97 episodes
Updated Weekly
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Podcast Overview
The My Spouse Died Too podcast gives you hope, so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. You're not alone, because My Spouse Died Too. My name is Emeric McCleary. I'm your host. Join me and our widowed guests. This ain't your Grandma's grief group!
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🇺🇲
Publishing Since
10/29/2019
1 verified contact email on file for My Spouse Died Too
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Recent Episodes
April 16, 2024
Episode 96: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (3 of 3)
<p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">The last doctor visit, and why Jane’s doctor cries.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Hope discussion. Did Jarie have a hope stopping point, like I did?<strong><span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></strong></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">What love is.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane’s last written words, delivered to Jarie, after Jane dies.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Now, how Jarie lives each day, even if it’s a shytty day. Try this.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Love after Jane. Is soon, too soon? Define soon.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Dating and guilt.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span> No one else knows your path.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">If you’re uncertain (scared to death) about dating, hear what Jarie says, because you might not have another shot.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Quitting substances (except caffeine and orange-glazed scones). Jarie specifies his decisions, effects, and how this helps <em>to not</em> make life more miserable.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Golden words of wisdom. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Link to Jarie’s website <a href= "https://jariebolander.com/"><span class= "s2">JarieBolander.com</span></a> where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">If you haven't listened to Parts 1 or 2, link here: <a href= "https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-94-ride-or-die-loving-through-tragedy-a-husbands-memoir-1-of-3"> <span class="s2">Part 1</span></a> <a href= "https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-95-ride-or-die-loving-through-tragedy-a-husbands-memoir-2-of-3"> <span class="s2">Part 2</span></a></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Thanks for listening.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Yes, and...</strong></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Because</strong> <strong>you shouldn't have to journey alone</strong>, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:</span></p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li2" style="font-size: 14pt;"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;">Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.</span></li> <li class="li2" style="font-size: 14pt;"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;">Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready.</span></li> <li class="li2" style="font-size: 14pt;"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;">Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too.</span></li> <li class="li2" style="font-size: 14pt;"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;">Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover.</span></li> <li class="li2" style="font-size: 14pt;"><span class="s1" style= "font-size: 14pt;">And it's the best way to contact me.</span></li> </ul> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: <a href= "https://www.myspousediedtoo.com/"><span class= "s2">https://www.myspousediedtoo.com</span></a>.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">~ Emeric</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1" style="font-size: 14pt;">My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.</span></p>
April 9, 2024
Episode 95: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (2 of 3)
<p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Vaping to cope. THC and CBD.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane needs Jarie to be her ROCK.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Failure lump in Jarie’s throat. The feeling…how anxiety and stress manifest themselves.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">When Jarie, the man who loves a plan, asks himself “How am I going to fix this?” And then realizes “I can’t fix this!”</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Chemotherapy ravages—Jarie buzzes off Jane’s long black hair.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Freezing your embryos. Jarie and I have a gut-wrenching intimate discussion.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Discussing death with your dying spouse. So hard.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">How a guardian angel social worker puts things into clear focus.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie describes the best gift he’s ever had: priceless words Jane said to him about finding love after death.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Link to Jarie’s website <a href="https://JarieBolander.com"><span class= "s3">JarieBolander.com</span></a> where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If you haven't listened to Part 1, link here: <a href= "https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-94-ride-or-die-loving-through-tragedy-a-husbands-memoir-1-of-3"> Part 1</a> </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Thanks for listening.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Join us for part 3 of 3.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Yes, and...</strong></span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Because</strong> <strong>you shouldn't have to journey alone</strong>, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style= "font-size: 14pt;">Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And it's the best way to contact me.</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: <a href= "https://www.myspousediedtoo.com">https://www.myspousediedtoo.com</a>.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">~ Emeric</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.</span></p>
April 3, 2024
Episode 94: Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir (1 of 3)
<p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">If you marry, and mark your day with ceremony, you might include these wedding vows:</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><em>To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part.</em></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Half-easy to recite, but fulfill—a Sisyphean effort.</span></p> <p class="p3"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Widowed guest co-host and author Jarie Bolander joins us.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie’s book is titled: <em><strong>Ride Or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband’s Memoir</strong>.</em> <span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p3"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie’s memoir, a poignant tribute to his late spouse Jane, is a testament to the power of love and commitment those exact wedding vows embody.<span class="s1"><span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p> <p class="p1"><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Here’s the set-up…</span></strong></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Friday, the day after Christmas 2015.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Married less than two years, Jarie and Jane are San Francisco’s young attractive power couple. Jarie is 45, a Silicon Valley engineer, entrepreneur, seven-book author, podcaster, blogger, and working on another start-up. Jarie is a highly functional introvert.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie’s spouse Jane, an outright extrovert, runs the public relations firm she founded. A quenchless zest for life fills Jane, a 35-year-old fireball.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie and Jane work on making a baby.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But after two miscarriages…diagnostic blood tests become routine.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Now, the day after Christmas—after spending a few hectically fun-filled days at Jane’s parent’s house, it’s time to drive the thirty-five-plus minutes home to San Francisco.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie looks forward to getting home midday and relaxing a bit before their restaurant dinner date.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But Jane insists on having her next routine blood draw today. Jarie protests why Jane can’t wait until the next week because it’s barely the day after Christmas AND it’s a Friday.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The walk-in-no-appointment-necessary laboratory is on the way home. It’s quick.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Blood drawn. <span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">35 minutes later, Jane and Jarie arrive home, unpack, and put their luggage away.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane’s cell phone rings. An unknown caller. Jarie says ignore it.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane answers because restaurants often call to confirm reservations.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The restaurant is not the caller--the medical facility calls.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane’s blood test results signal concern. The caller wants Jane to test more NOW. Please come into the hospital via the Emergency Room entrance.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie and Jane enter the ER entrance. And straight away,<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span> escorted into a curtained section.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Not even 6 minutes pass, two doctors enter.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">After introductions, one doctor asks Jane do you know why you’re here?</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane says, because I was told over the phone my blood test was abnormal. The doctor agrees.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The doctors also ask about the small patches of red dots on Jane’s tummy. The red dots appeared after the last miscarriage—severe cramping often bursts tiny surface blood vessels.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane asks why, what about the red dots—and the doctors say they need an opinion from the on-call oncologist.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Oncologist? Why an oncologist?</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">One doctor says, well, we’re not exactly sure, but it looks like you might have…leukemia.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie’s book is the first I’ve read written from a widowed Man’s viewpoint.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie’s memoir NAILS it. <span class="s2">So much echoes my own once-upon-a-time story.</span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie hands you his heart, his fears, his perceived failings. Weaknesses. Strengths. Obsessions. Addictions. Things you only tell your therapist.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie’s experience might parallel yours. For example, as men, we were raised to be protectors, not caregivers. An old-fashioned male archetype? In our DNA?</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jarie painstakingly details his caregiving odyssey.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Losing himself in Jane’s sickness, he copes by numbing. Alcohol. Pot, Caffeine. His therapist doesn’t know to what extent.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jane’s health declines. Jarie can’t protect Jane. His self-perceived failure persecutes him.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And from diagnosis to death, not even 18 months pass.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Kindly observe what happens after Jane’s death.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because Jarie continues his lionhearted pilgrimage— through grief and anger— to find himself, and love again.<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Link to Jarie’s website <a href="http://JarieBolander.com"><span class= "s3">JarieBolander.com</span></a> where you can purchase his book and learn about everything Jarie.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Thanks for listening.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Join us for part 2 of 3.</span></p> <p><strong><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Yes, and...</span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><strong>Because</strong> <strong>you shouldn't have to journey alone</strong>, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits:</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style= "font-size: 14pt;">Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover.</span></li> <li style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">And it's the best way to contact me.</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because you shouldn't have to journey alone.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Sign-up takes less than thirty-two seconds. Here's the link: <a href= "https://www.myspousediedtoo.com">https://www.myspousediedtoo.com</a>.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Hope. Heal. Find love again. Give Grief The Middle Finger.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">~ Emeric</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2024 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary.</span></p>
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