- 19
- Episodes
- 2025
- First episode
About My Therapist Is a Poem
Welcome to My Therapist Is a Poem, the podcast where the poem is the therapist, and I am the patient. I’m Jen, an American living in Spain and a psych major-turned-now-retired-English-teacher. Poem by poem, I’m analyzing, questioning, and even doubting — all in the hopes of making this one life I get to live better. So, are we ready to begin? Great! "The poem will see you now!" jensteedknapp.substack.com (https://jensteedknapp.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)
- Publisher
- Jen Steed Knapp
- Category
- education · society & culture
- Language
- en
- Explicit
- No
- First episode
- 17 Jul 2025
- Latest episode
- 8 May 2026
Latest episodes
19 episodes in the feed.
8 May 2026
We Didn't Move Abroad to Escape Hardship, We Moved to Face It
I read a lot about how people move abroad because they are unhappy with what their lives look like in the States. They are tired of the grind, the fast pace, the consumer culture, the lack of community, the commute, the debt, the politics, etc., etc., etc. Or they’re cramped in a little apartment in LA, life outside going at a breakneck pace, wondering if this is really what life has to look like (https://leaveittoanna.substack.com/p/coffee-talk-bluebells-bureaucracy?utm_source=cross-post&publication_id=1494486&post_id=194589821&utm_campaign=5498808&isFreemail=true&r=8wq1h&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email). I respect people who make the bold move to make life better. And uprooting the family and moving across oceans to do that? Damn. It’s not for the faint of heart. Any time I see articles coming through about people moving internationally, especially to a place where they don’t speak the language, it’s like clickbait for me. I love reading about people’s stories and motivations and inspirations and even hardships. It’s life-giving and fascinating. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Part of the fascination is that each story carries with it its own nuances. Everyone moves for slightly different reasons. And, I suppose, that’s why I’m sitting down to write my story. It seems quite different from the others, but who knows — maybe there are people like me out there (granted with their own nuances) who didn’t move away from a difficult situation, but moved into one instead. I am originally from California. I grew up there, and it shaped much of who I am today. I still say with pride “I’m a California driver,” and I still assume people will stop for me at crosswalks. I grew up near the mountains and the beach. The weather was mild and absolutely lovely. Mosquitos and insects were not an issue (an upside of a chronic lack of water, I guess). My friends and I wouldn’t choose if we wanted to go downtown, we’d choose which downtown to go to on any given weekend — Los Gatos, Saratoga, Los Altos, Palo Alto, or even San Francisco. It was a beautiful life. In my twenties, marriage and graduate school took me to Michigan. I spent four years there, and though the winters were long and gray, summer and especially fall were unmatched. Pumpkin patches, apple cider, spiced doughnuts, and the fiery oranges, reds, and yellows of the leaves — they all came together for an absolutely unforgettable experience. Then real life kicked in, and we moved to Florida for teaching jobs. My husband and I taught at the same school. We bought a house two streets down from the school. We biked to work. When I started having babies, I could bike home to nurse instead of stay at school to pump. We had the most amazing nanny who is now basically a part of our family. My best friend taught in the classroom next to me. (We shared a door!) We made enough money. We saved. We invested. We drew up plans to retire early. Everything was going according to plan, and we were happy. Three kids, two dogs, a great house, a big yard, a pirate ship playground that my husband built in the backyard, a dreamy screened-in porch, tons of fruit trees. We biked to work, we biked to church, we biked to the grocery store. Life was so, so good. My husband, Steve, and I have always maintained the philosophy to never stop learning. We talk about it constantly, and we say we’ll always keep each other accountable. I remember taking the dogs on a walk one night, and Steve brought up the idea of moving to Spain. I kept a cool demeanor and said, “yeah, maybe,” but I knew that I would never move to Spain. No way would I learn to speak Spanish as an adult with three kids in tow. No way would I uproot my easy life here. No way. (En absoluto, as I would say now.) But as we continued to sail through the relatively smooth waters of life in Florida, we started feeling a little twang of something — we couldn’t quite put our finger on it. Looking back, I think we knew that we had sorta reached the point where learning was declining. We had our routine. We had things figured out. Life was easy. And that’s not what we wanted. We knew that to become fully realized human beings, we needed challenges and change. So Steve started applying for international teaching jobs. As we pulled away from our Florida home after sleeping in it one last night, we felt sadness for the beautiful life we were leaving behind. We had planted so many fruit trees and berries and veggies and herbs and all the delicious and beautiful things, only to uproot ourselves as they stayed rooted, the likelihood of them being cared for by future tenants low. (Typing this now is making me emotional!) Our first move took us to Quito, Ecuador for Steve to teach on a 3-year contract. We then moved to Spain, the idea being we’d stay in Spain for good. Here we are in our precious little pueblo, three years later. Every day brings with it difficulty in communicating, learning how to do life and paperwork and visas and library cards and all the things, and the challenges that come with building a community when you’re still learning the language. Yes, we are in year six of living in a Spanish-speaking country, and I am still working hard every day to improve my Spanish. Some days I feel confident and competent and other days (well, this morning, for instance, when I had a nightmare of a time understanding my physical therapist) I feel like an idiot. But I’d rather the difficulty than the stagnation. The newness and the challenges make me feel alive in a way I never would have felt living in the comfort of the States. Things are definitely harder living in Spain. But I love my life so, so much, and I’m doing my best to embrace the difficulties — I know they are making me a better person. So what about you? What’s your story? Did you move abroad to escape something, or to find something? Both? Neither? Let me know — I’d love to read your story! Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. To hear more, visit jensteedknapp.substack.com (https://jensteedknapp.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=show-notes-spotify-open-access)
1 Apr 2026
Spanish and Sourdough
It took me years to really learn how to bake sourdough bread, and I’m starting to realize the (delicious?) connections to the process of learning a language. Interestingly, even though I’ve been baking for over a decade, I still don’t produce consistently beautiful loaves. And here I am in year six of learning Spanish, and . . . it’s not consistently beautiful over here — but it is definitely decent. Communication is happening. Connections are being made. So go grab some sourdough, pan dulce, or tostada con tomate, and enjoy my therapy session. And be sure to tell me: what’s your analogy to language learning? Is it as yummy as mine? “Pan Dulce,” Jose Hernandez Diaz (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/154216/pan-dulce) To hear more, visit jensteedknapp.substack.com (https://jensteedknapp.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=show-notes-spotify-open-access)
12 Feb 2026
(Almost) Famous
In this therapy session, Jen does some dream (read: nightmare!) analysis and discovers that she is in a very scary place. She talks about crying in Spanish and the scam of social media as well. Be a fly on the wall, but also, go ahead and ask the questions that poetry asks of yourself, too. You might learn something. Today’s poem is “Famous,” by Naomi Shihab Nye (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47993/famous). To hear more, visit jensteedknapp.substack.com (https://jensteedknapp.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=show-notes-spotify-open-access)
28 Jan 2026
Existential Dread ... And Instagram!
Jen is experiencing an existential crisis — an Instagram existential crisis. Dread, agony of choice, and the impossibility of perfection are all topics on this episode. But pulling it all together is that META spawn, Instagram. Join her in the agony. It will be fun! O Me! O Life! By Walt Whitman Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring, Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish, Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?) Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d, Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me, Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined, The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists and identity, That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. To hear more, visit jensteedknapp.substack.com (https://jensteedknapp.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=show-notes-spotify-open-access)
21 Jan 2026
Not all who wander are lost...
...but Jen definitely is! And that's OK. She's finding purpose in her wandering, especially when it leads to beautiful, surprising discoveries -- like maybe she's not as horrible at speaking Spanish as she thinks. Maybe it's what we all need in life -- to get a little lost to be able to discover the beautiful things waiting for us. I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45521/i-wandered-lonely-as-a-cloud)
3 Dec 2025
And I am a dystopian girl
You know that we are living in a dystopian world, and I am a dystopian girl. So predicted Aldous Huxley, anyway, according to Neil Postman, author of the book Amusing Ourselves to Death. On this episode, Jen takes a hard look at how she is actually losing her capacity to think -- and doing so ... willingly?? (Just take a look at the sentence structure of sentence two -- yikes.) It's not a therapy session to miss, that's for sure.
19 Nov 2025
Owning It
There's freedom in letting go of possessions. Jen chats about how culturally it's easier to feel that way living in Spain than in the States and how even still she has to make it a point to say, "No, I don't own this." "The Moment" Margaret Atwood (https://poetryarchive.org/poem/moment/)
12 Nov 2025
Outages
El apagón -- the never-really-explained, mysterious power outage of Spain: Jen talks about her experience with it and how maybe we all need some outages in life here and there. Maybe we need to "stop all the clocks" and "cut off the telephone"* for ourselves to be able to remember what it feels like to be human. Remember? We used to talk to real people, face to face, without looking at a screen? "Big Clock" (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/1618451/big-clock)Li Young Lee "The Tide Rises, the Tide Falls" (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44651/the-tide-rises-the-tide-falls) Henry Wadsworth Longfellow *edit from the episode: Jen incorrectly cites the title as "Stop All the Clocks"; the title of the poem actually is "Funeral Blues" (https://allpoetry.com/funeral-blues) by W. H. Auden
5 Nov 2025
I'm losing it.
Losing things, losing friends -- it's all in this therapy session. Join Jen as she loses socks, a wedding ring, and a best friend but maybe (hopefully) gains some clarity. "One Art" (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47536/one-art) "too tight" (https://lifeloveandsentences.wordpress.com/2024/09/03/too-tight/)
29 Oct 2025
DIE, flowers!
It's Fall, y'all, and all that. In other words, 'tis the season of DEATH. Grab a pumpkin spice latte, and join Jen as she takes a different perspective on death in this light episode. "Fall, leaves, fall" (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52330/fall-leaves-fall) "l(a" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L(a)
22 Oct 2025
Regretfully Yours
Jen tackles regret in this episode. But instead of beating it up, she ... gives it a hug? Strange times, indeed. Join her. In Praise of Regret (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?volume=177&issue=4&page=35)
15 Oct 2025
Layers
Alternate title: Fruit, THE HORROR! As you start layering up when the air gets crisp, may you be reminded that we're all made of of life layers -- and we're getting between them on this episode. Join Jen as she evaluates where she has been, where she is now, and the absolute horror of offering fruit before a meal in Spain. "The Layers" (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/54897/the-layers)
8 Oct 2025
(don't be a) Rule-Following Robot
Rebel! Rebel! Rebel! On this episode, Jen is MAD. Join her. Don't become a rule-following robot. Yanking Down Signs and Other Ways to Rebel Against BS (https://lifeloveandsentences.wordpress.com/2019/09/02/yanking-down-signs-and-other-ways-to-rebel-against-bs/)
1 Oct 2025
FIND WORK
Alternate title: "find work INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH GRIEF." Join Jen as she asks herself if she anesthetizes herself through work and staying busy so she doesn't have to feel grief. Yikes. "Find Work," Rhina P. Espaillat (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/40463/find-work)
24 Sept 2025
(go jump in the sea)
"As small as a world and as large as alone" -- contradictions are the name of the game in this therapy session, along with the horrible thing chasing Jen, of course. Join her as she muddles her way through confusion, runs away, and jumps in the sea. "maggy and milly and molly and may," E. E. Cummings (https://poets.org/poem/maggie-and-milly-and-molly-and-may)
17 Sept 2025
The Downfall
The ripeness of an apple is its downfall, but is that true of me, too? On this episode, be a fly on the wall for Jen's therapy session where she explores ambition, accomplishments, and ambiguity while being surrounded by voices yelling, "NOW WHAT?" "The Orchard," Mary Oliver (https://thesouthernreview.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/TSR_autumn2007_MaryOliver.pdf)
10 Sept 2025
Snake Skins
Snakes shedding, peeling bananas, and cursing God -- these are just a few issues Jen talks about in her therapy session this week. "Summer," Robin Coste Lewis (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/58758/summer-56d23d6ca8538) "tangerines," Jen Steed Knapp (https://lifeloveandsentences.wordpress.com/2023/07/03/tangerines/)
3 Sept 2025
I Don't Want To Be Respectable
Anyone else still traumatized from middle school? That trauma and more on this episode of My Therapist Is a Poem. Join Jen as she knows she doesn't know anything, but tries to know anyway -- this time from the words of Mary Oliver. "I Don't Want To Be Demure or Respectable," Mary Oliver
17 Jul 2025
The Introduction
So you wanna know what my podcast is about… In My Therapist Is a Poem, I, Jen, will be having therapy sessions — with poetry. We don’t give enough credit to poetry for opening doors to life experience and asking questions that no one else — not even a licensed therapist — might think to ask. Every episode will feature a poem-as-therapist, but no session will be the same. So, are we ready to begin? Great! "The poem will see you now."
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