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Not So Dumb Blondes Podcast

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by Kaytlyn Gilner

5.0(17 reviews)

80 episodes

Updated Weekly

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Podcast Overview

Not So Dumb Blonde is a women’s mental health podcast hosted by Kaytlyn, an MSW student and mental health advocate passionate about trauma healing, emotional regulation, DBT, relationships, attachment styles, and women’s empowerment. This podcast explores the real psychology behind anxiety, BPD, people pleasing, trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, self-worth, boundaries, family systems, and modern relationships — in a relatable, honest, and easy-to-understand way. Episodes include conversations with therapists, mental health professionals, trauma survivors, authors, and experts, along

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Publishing Since

5/26/2022

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Recent Episodes

July 6, 2026

How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight | DBT DEAR MAN

How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight | DBT DEAR MANWhy do so many conversations turn into arguments, even when your intentions are good?Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "That's not what I meant," or "Why do I always feel so misunderstood?" If so, you're not alone.In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, I break down one of the most effective communication skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DEAR MAN.This evidence-based communication framework teaches you how to ask for what you need, set healthy boundaries, communicate with confidence, reduce defensiveness, and maintain self-respect—even during difficult conversations.Whether you're navigating conflict with a romantic partner, family member, friend, or coworker, DEAR MAN provides a practical roadmap for communicating clearly without blame, mind-reading, or people-pleasing.In this episode, we discuss:• What the DBT DEAR MAN skill is and why it works • How to communicate using facts instead of assumptions • The difference between expressing emotions and making accusations • How to ask for what you need without guilt or fear • Why defensiveness damages relationships • How to stay calm during emotionally charged conversations • Building confidence through assertive communication • Creating healthier relationships through boundaries and emotional regulationIf you've struggled with anxiety, people-pleasing, conflict, emotional overwhelm, or feeling unheard, this episode will give you a practical communication tool you can start using immediately.Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag? Guide: <a href="" target="_new" rel="noopener">https://www.therapykay.com/freebie</a>Connect with me:Instagram: @itstherapykay @notsodumbblonde_podWatch on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@therapyk" target="_new" rel="noopener">https://www.youtube.com/@therapyk</a>Resources Mentioned:The Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizDialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) <a href="https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/" target="_new" rel="noopener">https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/</a>Chapters00:00 Why Healthy Communication Feels So Difficult 02:41 DEAR MAN: The DBT Communication Skill Explained 05:35 How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight 08:21 The Biggest Communication Mistakes That Damage Relationships 12:18 Building Confidence Through Assertive Communication 13:52 Download the Free Anxiety or Red Flag GuideIf you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who could benefit from healthier communication skills.

July 1, 2026

From Exotic Dancer to Hollywood: Why Performing for Others Nearly Cost Me Myself

From Exotic Dancer to Hollywood: Why Performing for Others Nearly Cost Me Myself #demisexual #queerawakening #hollywood #sexuality #relationships #traumahealing #authenticity #lifetimemovies2025newrelease What happens when a woman follows the most unconventional path imaginable?Anxiety vs Red Flag Self Trust Guide Freebie - www.therapykay.com/freebieIn this episode of **Not So Dumb Blonde Podcast**, I sit down with **Tessa Scott**, a Hollywood screenwriter, television writer, actress, and creator behind the hit *Single Black Female* Lifetime movie trilogy, to talk about her extraordinary journey from serving in the U.S. Navy to working as an exotic dancer before building a successful career in Hollywood.Tessa shares the realities of life inside the strip club, why exotic dancing was both empowering **and** rooted in survival, how she secretly wrote screenplays between dances, and the unexpected skills that prepared her for the entertainment industry.We also dive into how working in clubs changed her perspective on men, relationships, confidence, and human behavior—and why it's time to challenge the stigma surrounding women in the industry.Whether you're interested in Hollywood success stories, personal growth, women's empowerment, or the psychology behind human behavior, this conversation is one you won't forget.👇 Let us know in the comments:**What surprised you most about Tessa's story?**👍 If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and Share!---## Chapters00:00 Introduction: From Navy Veteran to Hollywood Screenwriter02:47 Exotic Dancing: Empowerment vs. Survival Explained06:01 Writing Screenplays While Working in a Strip Club09:00 How Exotic Dancing Changed Tessa's Perspective on Men & Relationships11:54 Breaking the Stigma Around Exotic Dancing14:46 The Surprising Skills That Helped Tessa Succeed in Hollywood17:30 Reading People: Psychology, Confidence & Human Behavior20:15 Lessons on Creativity, Resilience & Reinvention22:45 Final Advice for Women Pursuing Unconventional Dreams---## In This Episode✔️ Tessa Scott's incredible journey from the Navy to Hollywood✔️ The truth about exotic dancing and the misconceptions surrounding it✔️ Empowerment versus survival in the adult entertainment industry✔️ Writing screenplays while working in a strip club✔️ How stripping changed her views on men and dating✔️ The psychology of reading people and understanding behavior✔️ Building confidence through unconventional experiences✔️ Breaking stereotypes surrounding sex work✔️ Lessons that helped Tessa become a successful screenwriter---## About Tessa ScottTessa Scott is a television writer, screenwriter, actress, and content creator known for writing Lifetime's *Single Black Female* film series. Her unconventional path—from military service to exotic dancing to Hollywood—has given her a unique perspective on storytelling, resilience, relationships, and human psychology.---# KeywordsTessa Scott, Hollywood screenwriter, screenwriting, exotic dancing, stripper stories, empowerment, women's empowerment, survival, Hollywood career, television writer, creativity, relationships, dating advice, psychology, confidence, success story, entertainment industry, Navy veteran, life after the military, women in Hollywood, personal growth, storytelling, female entrepreneur, self-confidence, reading people, communication skills

June 29, 2026

Red Flags or Trauma Trigger? Learning to Trust Yourself Again

Red Flags or Trauma Trigger? Learning to Trust Yourself AgainHave you ever questioned whether you're noticing a genuine red flag—or whether your anxiety is responding to an old trauma?1. DBT Self Trust Serious Introduction- Wise Mind- START HERE - https://youtu.be/Sc5wJHrfmGU2. Week #1 - https://youtu.be/WtNnkwTnqY8 ANXIETY OR RED FLAG FREEBIE - www.therapykay.com/freebie In this episode, we're breaking down one of the biggest challenges many trauma survivors face: learning how to separate intuition from fear.Using practical Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, I walk you through a simple three-step framework that can help you stop second-guessing yourself, identify unhealthy relationship patterns, and communicate more effectively.<ul><li>The difference between trauma triggers and relationship red flags</li><li>Why anxiety can distort your perception</li><li>The DBT skill that helps rebuild self-trust</li><li>Observable facts versus assumptions</li><li>Why patterns matter more than isolated incidents</li><li>Healthy communication in relationships</li><li>Emotional regulation and relationship anxiety</li><li>Building confidence in your own judgment</li></ul>Whether you're healing from childhood trauma, navigating dating, or simply trying to trust yourself again, this episode offers practical tools you can begin using today.If this episode helped you, please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.Free Resource: Download the Anxiety or Red Flag? guide at: <a href="https://www.therapykay.com/freebie">https://www.therapykay.com/freebie</a>Keywords: Red Flags, Trauma Triggers, Anxiety, DBT, Relationships, Self-Trust, Emotional Intelligence, Communication Skills, Mental Health, Relationship Anxiety, Trauma Recovery, Healthy Relationships, Dating After Trauma.In this episode we discuss:

80 total episodes available

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Frequently asked questions

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What is Not So Dumb Blondes Podcast?: Not So Dumb Blonde is a women’s mental health podcast hosted by Kaytlyn, an MSW student and mental health advocate passionate about trauma healing, emotional regulation, DBT, relationships, attachment styles, and women’s empowerment.

This podcast explores the real psychology behind anxiety, BPD, people pleasing, trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, self-worth, boundaries, family systems, and modern relationships — in a relatable, honest, and easy-to-understand way.

Episodes include conversations with therapists, mental health professionals, trauma survivors, authors, and experts, along
How often does this podcast release new episodes?: This podcast updates weekly.
Where can I listen to this podcast?: This podcast is available on 7 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
Does this podcast accept guests?: Information about guest appearances is not available.

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