June 2, 2026
Ep 118 - The Weight Of Wanting To Be Happy
<p>Have you ever worked hard to lose weight, reached your goal, and still felt like it wasn't enough? Still picked yourself apart in the mirror?</p><p>In this episode I tackle one of the most important and most overlooked truths in the world of weight, health, and wellbeing: that no number on the scales will make you feel good if you haven't done the inner work first.</p><p>Drawing on over 23 years of clinical experience and a wealth of peer-reviewed research, I explore why body dissatisfaction doesn't automatically go away with weight loss, what is really happening when you self-sabotage, and why the foundation you build your habits on matters every bit as much as the habits themselves.</p><p><strong>In this episode you will discover:</strong></p><ul><li>Why the "I'll be happy when I lose the weight" story is so convincing, and why the research tells us it rarely works that way</li><li>The psychological concept of self-verification theory, and how your brain quietly organises your behaviour around the identity you already hold</li><li>The two very different reasons people self-sabotage (and why one of them has nothing to do with not wanting it enough)</li><li>What the science says about body appreciation and body functionality, and how shifting from evaluating your body to respecting it changes everything downstream</li><li>Why shame might get you started but values are what keep you going, backed by Self-Determination Theory research</li></ul><ul><li>A simple, three-step reset you can use the next time things go sideways (and they will, and that is completely fine)</li></ul><p>I also share why self-compassion is actually the evidence-based solution, with research consistently showing that how you speak to yourself after a lapse predicts your long-term outcomes far more powerfully than the lapse itself.</p><p>This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like their body was a problem to be solved. It is also for anyone who suspects, quietly, that there might be a completely different way to approach this. Because sustainable wellbeing is built from the inside out. And that is exactly where this conversation begins.</p><p><strong>RESEARCH REFERENCES </strong></p><ul><li><p>Puhl, R.M. & Heuer, C.A. (2010). Obesity stigma: important considerations for public health. American Journal of Public Health, 100(6), 1019–1028. [Systematic review of 200+ studies on weight stigma and psychological outcomes.]</p></li></ul><ul><li><p>Swann, W.B., Chang-Schneider, C., & McClarty, K. Self-verification theory. Psychological Science. [Foundational work from 1980s; reviewed extensively in subsequent literature.]</p></li><li><p>Linardon, J., Wade, T.D., de la Piedad Garcia, X., & Brennan, L. (2017). The efficacy of CBT for eating disorders: meta-analysis across 79 RCTs. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 85(11), 1080–1094.</p></li><li><p>Carels, R.A. et al. (2014). Self-compassion as a mediator between perfectionism and wellbeing in weight management. Health Psychology, 33(11), 1291–1301.</p></li><li><p>Byrne, S., Cooper, Z., & Fairburn, C. (2003). Weight maintenance and relapse in obesity. European Eating Disorders Review.</p></li><li><p>Fredrickson, B.L. & Roberts, T.A. (1997). Objectification Theory. Psychology of Women Quarterly.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p>Teixeira, P.J. et al. (2012). Exercise, physical activity, and self-determination theory. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity.</p></li><li><p>Bacon, L. & Aphramor, L. (2011). Weight science: evaluating the evidence for a paradigm shift. Nutrition Journal, 10(9).</p></li><li><p>Wing, R.R. & Phelan, S. (2005). Long-term weight loss maintenance. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 82(1 Suppl), 222S–225S.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p>Marlatt, G.A. & Gordon, J.R. (Eds.) (1985). Relapse Prevention. Guilford Press. Confirmed by Witkiewitz & Marlatt (2004). American Psychologist, 59(4), 224–235.</p></li><li><p>Erskine, J.A.K. & Georgiou, G.J. (2010). Effects of thought suppression on eating behaviour. Appetite.</p></li><li><p>Dickson, J.M., Howlett, N., & Mansfield, L. (2011). Psychological flexibility and body image. Body Image.</p></li></ul><p>It's why I created my Nourish & Flourish programme - to help you do the inner work AND lose weight. If you want to learn more click <a href="https://www.emotionalregulationcoaching.com/21621d66-4e58-47b8-b3fc-dba3fc7eabbf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">here</a> x</p>
