Welcome to Rebelliously Tiny, a podcast about the subtle emotions that draw us together. For the last five years, artist Ambivalently Yours has been exploring her ambivalence and feminist questions by posting pink drawings on her Tumblr blog. Eventually, people started responding to the work by sharing their personal stories and asking her for advice, often anonymously. Since Ambivalently Yours felt in no way qualified to tell anyone what to do, she began answering these messages with ambivalent drawings. Today, she has over 1000 messages waiting in her inbox, and has decided to ask for a little help responding to them. Each episode of this podcast will focus on one question, which Ambivalently Yours will discuss with someone she admires and trusts. Their goal will not be to provide answers, but to explore the tender emotions we are often told are unimportant, while highlighting the value of talking to each other instead of about each other. Each episode will also feature a drawing inspired by both the initial question and the conversation it sparked. In a world that teaches us that strength is loud, harsh and masculine, this is a place for those of us whose struggle is both impossibly large and rebelliously tiny.
*Content Warning: Discussions of racism, colonialism, police brutality
Here’s the question that inspired this week’s episode: What brings you joy when you are fighting for social justice?
The goal of Rebelliously Tiny has always been to be a space for struggle and rebellion, and all of the related emotions, without the constraints of any narrative that tells us that strength and resistance is loud, harsh, masculine. The question of joy in the fight for social justice - as a reason to fight, as something sustaining, as an end goal - is important to us, and we thank everyone who submitted answers for us to feature in this episode when we posed the question on Instagram in August 2020.
This episode is a little different, and we’re really excited to share it with you, it is our first podcast takeover! With the fight for social justice, fuelled around the globe with outrage at killings by police this past summer, we considered how to connect with our community more and invite more voices to our little corner of the internet.
This episode takeover is hosted and written by Sunny Adcock (you may remember her from episode 12!) an avid reader, writer, editor and podcast host from Australia. To help answer our question, she invited her two friends Francoise Nestor and Binta Yade to discuss joy and “self care” as not only necessary, but also as real tools for sustained activism. Together Sunny, Francoise, and Binta explain how they advocate for themselves and their joy as young black women living in a patriarchal white supremacist society. How is self-preservation an act of political warfare, as Audre Lorde writes? How has self-care been co-opted by Capitalism? How do we maintain and support the joy in our collective rage?
References: A Burst of Light (1988) by Audre Lorde
Episode Host: Sunny Adcock
www.asunnyspot.com.au
IG: @sunny_adcock
TW: @A_SunnySpot
Podcast: @tenderragepodcast
Guests: Francoise Nestor / IG: @fran_d_n
Binta Yade / IG: @binta.fm
Hosted, written and co-edited by Sunny Adcock
Co-edited and co-produced by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland
Music: Greg Barkley
6 Nov 2020
Episode 19: Gen
*Content Warning: Heartbreak
Here’s the question that inspired this week’s episode (the message has been slightly altered to preserve anonymity): I recently broke up with my ex and I've been trying to love myself, and I have no idea how to do that. I've placed so much of my value in other people's opinions of me, and what hurts the most is that he lied to me about so many things and didn't care all that much about me. I'm tired of feeling unlovable and unable to move past hurtful life experiences. Honestly, I just feel unworthy of love.
We’ve all been there. Going through heartbreak is hard. And we don’t just mean break ups with romantic partners. There is heartbreak, or at least difficult make-or-break-it moments, with friends and even family. But we learn, grow, and even hold on to love through these moments. What can these challenging emotional processes teach us about relationships and about ourselves? How are we influenced by norms of heteronormativity and patriarchy without even realizing it? Join AY and Gen for some advice on heartbreak including what books to read and what podcasts and music to listen to. Gen is the illustrator at Lovestruck Prints, she recently illustrated a book about love entitled: “C’est quoi l'amour?” written by Lucile de Pesloüan, and she used to share a studio with Ambivalently Yours.
References: - Sonya Renee Taylor on IG @sonyareneetaylor and @thebodyisnotanapology - The episode "Freedom from the Prison of Limiting Beliefs” (September 25, 2020) on the Tara Brach podcast- All About Love: New Visions, by bell hooks- C’est quoi l’amour? written by Lucile de Pesloüan, illustrated by Geneviève Darling
A podcast by Ambivalently YoursCo-produced by Hannah McCaslandRecorded at Oboro Artist-Run Center in MontrealTechnical support: Stéphane ClaudeMusic: Greg Barkley and Lizzy & the Fanatics
24 Feb 2020
Episode 18: Freya
*Content Warning: this episode deals with anxiety and depression
Here’s the question that inspired this week’s episode (the message has been slightly altered to preserve anonymity): "I have a great life with a supportive family and wonderful boyfriend. I do good in school and have a lot of friends, but I'm sad. Not all the time, but sometimes at night I just lay down and feel empty. I think it's partly because of my anxiety that keeps me constantly worried about my loved ones. I'm not depressed, just sad."
We are excited to share a new episode, featuring our conversation with Freya Bennett, an artist, the mother of a tiny feminist and the Co Founder and Director of Ramona Magazine for Girls. In this episode, we discuss the complexities of experiencing a full spectrum of emotions and feelings in a world complicated by social media, where we are constantly confronted with images and tales of seeming perfection, happiness, and “success”. This episode is about the feelings we hide, the feelings we don’t want to show to the world, the feelings we avoid if we can and the feelings we escape by scrolling on our phones. Freya and AY demonstrate resisting this urge to craft a persona of happiness and success and talk through some of these feelings openly and honestly together. They make some suggestions for how we can mindfully and healthfully experience and embrace these emotions without shame while resisting the pressure to make happiness the end-all-be-all-goal - there’s always going to be something more, and that’s okay.
To learn more about Ramona Magazine for Girls visit ramonamag.com or @ramonaforgirls on instagram. To see Freya’s illustration work visit www.thecinnamonsociety.com or @thecinnamonsociety on Instagram.
A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland
Recorded at Oboro Artist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley
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