Sage Words

About Sage Words

Infusing empathy and wisdom into universal challenges. sagejustice.substack.com (https://sagejustice.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Sage Justice

Category

news · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

26 Apr 2022

Latest episode

27 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

8 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   27 Oct 2026

   My best friend died and I’m talking to his ghost.

   Crying while reading poem at the end. Real human having real human emotions. No AI. For the past 30+ years, Ken and I communicated almost daily. He was my best friend, my husband’s best friend when they were younger, and who I hoped would be my daughter’s future best friend when I am gone. We made each other laugh and think and feel and love, what could be more human? How am I going to keep moving through this world without the man who gave me legs? Ken loved anything weird, creative, and fantastical. All things that described his spirit, and reflected the little family we nurtured together. He had a deep appreciation for talent and a great eye for it. He was an intellectual, and often the most interesting person in any room. He was entertaining, funny, opinionated, well read, and could carry a conversation about any topic. Ken was a true art connoisseur and knew more about the breadth of all art forms from every medium (opera, visual artists, film, theatre, music, performers, etc.) than anyone I’ve ever know. His mind was sharp. His tongue was sharper. Ken didn’t suffer fools gladly. He was my greatest teacher for how to stand up for myself against people who were treating me poorly. If there are any women reading this who are people pleasers or who are working hard to fit into a family or foundation and doing everything in their power to be liked or accepted, allow me to impart some freedom to you on behalf of Ken. He was the person who gave me the courage to say, “F*ck off!” to anyone being disrespectful. I started with creeps in my DMs and escalated to people I knew in real life who were being cruel under a guise of “nice.” It’s empowering to set boundaries with “people you’d cross a river for who wouldn’t bother to cross a street for you.” I can’t begin to tell you how good it feels to be able to pull a Ken and say what you mean and mean what you say. Every time you do, it gets easier and easier. Highly recommend it. 10 out of 10! On behalf of all women, thank you, Ken. Where Ken taught me the courage to speak my mind, I’d like to think I taught him temperance in speaking his. For the flip side to having an honest friend is that feelings can get hurt, but damage can also be repaired. We were teachers to each other. Nothing was off limits when it came to our friendship- in the beginning, we fought hard, toward the end, we loved harder. We made it safe to tell the truth, and safe to passionately disagree and argue respectfully; safe to say, “I love you.” We were committed and devoted to each other as friends and chosen family and we knew that no matter how frustrated we might get with one another, that we would never abandon each other, and we never did. He never abandoned my daughter either. When I was five months pregnant with her I almost miscarried and was put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. He flew from Arizona to Los Angeles, climbed in bed with me, held my hand, and ate ice cream straight from the pint as we watched Grey Gardens, the documentary, and laughed at ourselves as a projection of the two Edies. He made me mix tapes (CDs) with songs like, “Do you realize?” by The Flaming Lips, with lyrics that are particularly poignant today. “Do you realizeThat everyone you know someday will die? And instead of saying all of your goodbyesLet them know you realize that life goes fastIt’s hard to make the good things lastYou realize the sun doesn’t go downIt’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round” He pushed me in the wheelchair so we could see The Hockney exhibit when it was at LACMA. He came with me to chess tournaments when I was the only woman in a room full of 40 awkward men but determined to play against all and win the prize money for the breast pump I wanted after the baby arrived. He’d known my in-laws since he was 15-years-old, practically grew up in my husband’s house. His insights about each of them helped me understand the family dynamics. He often predicted accurately how holiday plans would turn out, what people would say and do, or not say and do, and he had clear explanations of why it would happen. This all helped create clarity for us when we were left confused by outcomes we didn’t expect. Ken was brave, even though I don’t think he would ever claim to be. He came out as gay in high school in the mid 1970s, although during the time I’ve known him he’s never had a romantic relationship that I know of- he wasn’t interested. He was true to himself. You always knew where you stood with Ken. He lived his life by his standards and to me that’s brave. Ken was one-of-a-kind. I’ve never met anyone like him and I don’t suppose I ever will again. When my daughter was born, “guncle” was a popular term being used for gay uncles. I asked him what he wanted to be called and he said, “Auntie Ken.” I think it was supposed to be a passing playful nod to Auntie Mame, but it stuck. He’s been a consistent presence in my daughter’s life since the day she was born. All through her education from elementary school through college, he made himself available for pep talks before chess tournaments, award ceremonies, biology finals, and deadlines to finish her film. He’s encouraged her as an Auntie would with congratulations for every acceptance letter she received. When she was challenged by health issues, he reached out to provide her with comfort, prayed for her, and offered suggestions to help. When she was stressed out, confused, or sad, he shared personal stories about his own life when he was her age to let her know that he knew what she was going through. He introduced her to music, films, and art. They texted each other almost as much as he and I did. They discussed their joint love of the score for Kiki’s Delivery Service and laughed together through many shared memes. Because of Ken’s influence, Gracie is much stronger with healthy boundaries than I was at her age. Ken had congestive heart failure. He knew he was going to die sooner than later. Still, I got 19 more months with him than I thought I would have. In March of 2025, he had a surgery (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/i-thought-i-lost-him) that left him bedridden. His quality of life dramatically decreased. This past summer, while Gracie was studying in England, he shared the story with her of how he and I met and became best friends. I think he was trying to prepare us for what was to come. Except, there’s no way to prepare to lose someone you love as profoundly as his people loved him. Ken lived by his own rules. He knew the consequences of his actions and made informed choices. If life is for the living, he intended to LIVE. He was a self-proclaimed glutton and loved all the foods we are told to avoid for our health whilst simultaneously having a haughty disdain for anything associated with exercise or nature. He loved to indulge in all the senses. He had a hungry mind that needed to be in a perpetual state of being tickled by talent. He listened to opera as loudly as the low riders blasted rap music. He absorbed books the way influencers absorb Korean skin care. He mixed gourmet teas, colored them purple, and drank them from beautiful glasses like royalty, juxtaposed with the earthiness of The Round Table. Ken drew pleasure from all his senses: visual, taste, touch, sound, smell, and psychic; it’s one of the many things we shared in common. Ken went into the hospital about a week ago with presumed pneumonia that turned out to be heart failure. They released him to “let nature take its course” in the comfort of his own bed. I was told that on October 25, he ordered his lunch at the assisted living facility, by the time they arrived with his tray of food, he was gone. I can only assume it was a massive, sudden heart attack as we’d recently learned that three arteries to his heart had a 90% blockage. We prayed that it was painless. We’ve been grieving as a family over the phone since my husband is still tethered to California, for now. Whilst Ken had an expansive vocabulary that could cause plebeians to check their dictionaries, one of his favorite common words was “f*ck.” He was a man of the people, (and by “people” I mean eccentrics). The morning after he passed, I began crying in the shower until I heard his voice say, “Stop!” “Enjoy the water. I miss it already, the sense of floating in the pool or taking a warm shower- the sensation of water on the skin. There are no earthly pleasures where I am- in the spirit world, or whatever this place is. Everyone is f*cking blissed out and peaceful and it’s boring as f*ck! I miss the contrast. There’s no contrast here. It’s all oneness bullsh*t. I miss the drama of life. Don’t honor me through tears, honor me through the senses. Eat a greasy cheeseburger, drink some aromatic citrus tea, blast Berlioz, take in some art, and for Christ sake, enjoy the f*cking shower because they don’t have those in ‘heaven.’” When I got out of the shower my phone was opened to YouTube with a clip titled, “The dead don’t die.” Now that the psychic connection was clear, I sensed Ken say, “You know I don’t care about this Kumbaya crap so why am I dressed like Gandhi in a toga? At least I’m skinny again. Look, I can do jumping jacks, I have so much energy. Can you use your abilities to send me to where Chip’s mom went where they have martinis?” Chip is a member of our friend group. He also went to high school with my husband and Ken. In September, the spirit of Chip’s mom came to me. She asked me to let Chip know that she planned to leave her body later that month, which I did. People have often asked me why a spirit would come to me if they don’t know me personally. It’s the same reason we go to the post office, even if we may not know the employees there: to send a message. I don’t know why I’m like the post office for the spirit world, but I have been since childhood. The problem is that sometimes I get very sick after receiving messages. In September, it was my heart. (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/abdominal-aortic-aneurysm-or-as-its?r=1ezxpl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web) Was that my own genetic condition creating havoc or a result of what I call “psychic sickness,” when my body breaks down after communicating with the spirit world? Did I have heart issues because they were my own? Or was my body trying to prepare me for Ken dying of heart problems? Just as she told me she would, Chip’s mom passed in September. I’m not certain, but I think she may have had something like dementia when she died; meaning, a part of her was already gone before her body left this earth, which may have influenced how she experienced death. When she arrived in the spirit world, she immediately inhabited the body and health of her 30 something self, holding a martini in one hand, a cigarette in the other and proclaiming, “I don’t even feel dead.” Apparently, we don’t all go to the same place after we die, and I don’t just mean the two polarized options most of us were raised to believe in: Heaven or Hell. It seems to me to be more like the scripture from John:14, “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” I said to Ken, “Honey, it’s not the same for you. A martini in the spirit world for you would be like a steak in the Matrix; you were present until the moment you died.” The conversation continued and remains ongoing. This is one of the perks of being psychic, I’m still able to communicate with my loved ones even after they pass away, but it’s not the same as having them here in their physical body. I also have to guard my energies and health with strong boundaries. It’s a tight line to walk between leaving channels of communication open for the ones you love without having intruders with negative energies that can make me sick, coming through too. We can’t always control who enters our home when we leave the door open for the guests we want to welcome the uninvited can arrive too. Today, I begin the process of closing the chapter to a book that began in October 1989, when I was first introduced to the Legend of Ken. Geoff Grace came to drop off music at Recording Star, the company we both worked for. We weren’t dating yet, just getting to know each other. After a few minutes he said, “You remind me so much of my high school friends, especially, Ken.” That was the beginning of what became one of the most significant relationships of my life. Not only did we build a special sibling-like relationship that lasted 37 years, but we were part of a larger friend group that is still maintained today. The plot of our connection thickened after we discovered that his mother, Narcy, and my grandmother (who raised me) were both born around the same year in Bisbee, Arizona, and went to the same one-room-school house together. Narcy is a unique name I remember hearing growing up when Granma would talk about her life in Arizona that she wished she could return to. There’s more to this story that I plan to write about. Suffice it to say for now, that Ken and I were always destined to be family in some capacity. Ken liked a simple life surrounded by complicated people. He was a collector of music and books and kitsch which he built and lost more than once through a few rough moves. As long as he had media to consume, friends to share it with, and food he enjoyed, he was fairly satisfied. There are people in this world too afraid to speak their truth. They kiss ass in the name of diplomacy, and hide who they are, make themselves small, and manipulate the world around them with false sweetness, and polite placation to give the appearance of being well-liked and respected. They might have hundreds of people at their funeral but only one or two who really knew them well. Ken wasn’t like that. At all. I used to fear that he would die alone and unloved because he spoke his truth and alienated others. Instead he died with integrity and two handfuls of people who really knew him and loved him for exactly who he was. That’s far more powerful and impressive to me than a thousand false friendships in appearance only. His parents had both passed away (in their 60s, I think). Ken lived longer than he thought he would. He’d lost touch with his brothers but stayed close with his cousin Kathy and at least nine really close friends (that I know about) who would do anything for him. To live by your own standards and die still being loved by 10 people who loved him as much as we all did is what I would constitute a George Bailey, “It’s a Wonderful Life” success story. My dearest Ken, You are the Dill to my Scout, the Gore Vidal to my Joan of Arc, and the Oscar to my Felix. I’m still in shock that you’re gone. You were one of the four pillars of my foundation in life. Not sure how to find my balance again. I will miss our daily voice memos to each other, the sound of your laughter, your turn of a phrase, and your brutal, dependable, refreshing honesty. Thank you for the ways in which you showed up for Gracie, Geoff, and me, as our chosen family. There are no words to convey the depth of our love for you and the healing presence you brought to the table by the example you always set: true to yourself. I love you, sweetheart, in this life and every other, I choose you. Ken and I could make each other laugh like no other. Here’s a voice memo of his laughter, placed over a photo montage.… and one final message for us all. Sage Words is 100% human, never AI, a reader-supported publication where Sage leaves her DNA in every word. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for being present and supporting our journey (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/have-you-earned-your-right-to-live). Cash Donation (https://cash.app/$SageGratitude) Sage Justice (http://sagewords.org/) is an award (https://dannilevy.substack.com/p/ed-1-the-loving-fight?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=embedded-post&triedRedirect=true)-winning poet (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/maturity), author (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6), critically acclaimed performing artist (https://youtu.be/w90HNt1l080), and intensely sincere (https://mjcoppola.substack.com/p/creatives-q-and-a-with-sage-justice?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=embedded-post&triedRedirect=true), bold humanitarian (https://www.sagewords.org/souljourners) activist (https://www.sagewords.org/one-minute-reads/guns). Post Script Poetry After Your Best Friend Dies When the phone dings you think it might be them. We both now live in superposition Muscle memory keeps them still; alive For the mundane tasks we are expecting. I finally caught up on Slow Horses The plan was to watch tonight; together I feel like I’m forgetting something This is when I’d leave you the first voice memo My routine of reaching out on my walk It all Feels off: like that spaghetti soup Remember how hard we laughed: I can’t cook You always ate my bad food anyway. I’m trying to program your laugh in my brain There are some things I refuse to let go I choose to fold you in my pocket; now I sense you tell me, “I’m already; here.” Except I can’t feel you like I once did. Each day, our bond feels pulled further; away As your consciousness expands; infinite I see you galaxy dancing; no pain You’ve learned to communicate at warp speed Gravity has infantilized me; babe I’m no match for you anymore; advanced Awareness: you’re everywhere all at once I’m here without you, stuck in one place; time Changed by loss, I take tears in my coffee Music, a tender knife I cannot bear Grateful for the voice messages I saved I still need your strength, insight, and humor My scarecrow, Tin man and Lion were you! Dorothy is down, the red shoes are gone There is no “home” without you in my head I don’t know how to process this loss yet There are life aches we learn to exist with The only bright side: knowing you are free Watching you with spiritual zoomies I must admit is fun! You’re on fire, luv! Light the path for us please, we need your spark Thank you for 37 years: friendship. After I witnessed an unknown poet have her work and social movement usurped (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/mel-robbins-and-plagiarism?r=1ezxpl), I was given the legal advice to place the following © date and statement on all my work: This concept/theory/poem is original to Sage Justice. If you use it, please give credit and link to original work. Thank you. www.SageWords.org © October 27, 2026. Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

2. 

   10 Aug 2026

   Have You Earned Your Right to Live?

   The Retirement Package for Unpaid Labor No community was ever built on the premise of “Every man for himself,” yet we live in a capitalist society that claims your worth is defined only by what you can afford through monetary means. If you spent your life taking care of the needs of others as a volunteer for unpaid services, are you deserving of the goodness you cannot afford later in life when you need to rely on others to take care of you? Ask the average person, “Who in our society is deserving of travel, of occasionally eating out or having something nice?” and the typical answer might be, “Someone who works hard and earns the right to those privileges.” To this, we should ask ourselves, “Do all people who work hard get paid?” The answer, of course, is, “No.” In fact, it could be argued that those who work the hardest in society are usually the least paid. “If working harder and longer hours were the key to wealth, then every maid and mother would be a millionaire.” Every well-oiled system, from family to government, is greased by the hands of unpaid labor, such as grandmothers cooking in kitchens, aunties babysitting nieces and nephews, and mothers organizing fundraisers or baking goods for the neighborhood schools and churches. Yet, when the opportunity comes for those grandmothers, aunties, and mothers to retire and travel, and they have no money to do so, society responds with the callous uncaring and woefully ignorant reply of, “Too bad you didn’t earn more so you could have saved money like we did, in order to deserve an occasional goodness or retirement necessities,” all of the while saying such words without the humility to acknowledge that they never would have been able to accomplish what they had without the unpaid sacrifices of caregivers, family, and community who helped them make it possible for them to do so. What Does it Mean to “Earn” that which is Deserving? You can’t earn more from a job that doesn’t pay to begin with. People assume if you have no savings, it’s because you didn’t budget your spending well instead of understanding that you have no savings because you had little to no income despite working hard. It’s time for society to compensate caregivers for their unpaid labor in the name of love, because love alone can’t be used to pay the bills. “Norway, Sweden, and Iceland began building policy around this truth decades ago. … When you make the invisible visible, everything gets better.” To “earn” is to obtain some form of currency in exchange for labor. Not all earnings come from money. In fact, when you look at Webster’s definition of the word “earn,” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/earn)most examples do not include the word “money.” It’s only the “AI Overview” definitions that have proliferated and populated every search engine, which include the word, “money” over and over again, removing our humanity one word meaning at a time. Those who can financially provide for themselves were often indoctrinated in childhood to believe that the best way to care for themselves is to provide for themselves; but “to provide” and “to care” are two different things, and both are needed. A government agency can “provide,” but it takes a human to “care.” If we are too focused on one, we negate the other. Caring takes a level of vulnerability not often found in the mechanics of providing. You Can’t Outsource Love No amount of money to a high paid nanny for your children, or capable nurse for your aging parents will ever compare to the care they receive from someone who loves them. When I was taking care of my energetic nieces and nephews, nurturing their individual sensitivities and needs, memorizing their food preferences, likes and dislikes, cheerleading their every endeavor from sports, to performing, to academics, delighting in their presence and making memories by taking them to the beach, movies, or out to eat, acting as a taxi and chaperon service for their extra curricular activities, being the family archivist who takes home movies and photographs at birthday parties and holiday celebrations, or providing comfort, and a safe place to land in my home in the aftermath of endured trauma, I would have taken a bullet to protect their lives. No hired help their parents could have paid for would do have done the same. When my grandmother required 24/7/365 care, that included constant medication monitoring, adult diapers, projectile vomiting, endless laundry, every-other-day specialist appointments, monthly hospitalizations, and the thick skin of a rhino to endure the cruel signs of dementia, her needs could never have been managed with the same level of care by hired help. No single nurse could have had her medical records, allergies, and history committed to memory like I did or provided the commitment to care that I was willing to give. No nurse could have stayed by her bedside through every painful, frightening, medical emergency she experienced, holding her hand, gently brushing her hair, or massaging her feet to bring her even an ounce of comfort or distraction from the fear and pain, before they would have been called to help a dozen other patients with demanding needs in that same time period. My devotion to her was the soft kindness that helped make all of her discomforts bearable. Those acts of love cannot be outsourced, and it feels awkward to accept payment for caring for someone you love. I never wanted my loved ones to think I was present for them because I expected to be paid, so I refused even the idea. I wasn’t thinking about how a lifetime of caregiving could leave me financially destitute by the time I began my descent into retirement. We have to change the narrative around unpaid labor as merely an act of love and consider the long-range impact. Family members deserve financial compensation for caregiving. Thank you cards or occasional gifts are nice in the moment, but they don’t earn interest in a savings account to provide for us in our old age. At the time, the kind of care I provided was valued beyond measure. There is no price tag for peace of mind when it comes to the protection of our children or vulnerable parents. If caregiving with the tenderness of love were a company position it would come with deposits into a retirement fund with compounded interest, financial bonuses of appreciation, and a hearty pension. Instead, it comes with gratitude in the moment and faded memories with time. Once the kids are grown and the aging, ailing parents pass away, there is no longer a demanding need requiring attention or appreciation for the caregiver. There is nothing in a bank to show for the years given or the sacrifices made. The loyalty given is no longer reciprocated because too often people only reach out when they are in need. When the need passes, they stop reaching out. Caregivers are Essential Workers in Society During the pandemic we discovered who the most important people to our survival were and we called them “essential workers.” They were broken down into five categories: medical, sanitation, food service, teachers, and caregivers (especially to children and elderly). Value is not the same as worth, especially when it comes to survival. We are all born with inherent worth, but our value is how that worth serves others and is seen by others. Another way of looking at it is to consider the worth of water: a survival necessity. In situations where water is plentiful, it’s free; therefore it has worth, but no price, no value. In situations where it’s scarce, and necessary, its worth doesn’t change but its value, its price, can skyrocket. When we think about who and what has the most value, we think about what we need to survive. Caregiving, like water, is essential to communal survival. It’s often done by family and friends, usually women and is mostly unpaid labor. The Currency of Care I did not earn a pension for taking care of my grandmother for seven and a half years; but I learned compassion, patience, advocacy, and what it feels like to show up for someone who showed up for me and the honor to pay it forward. I did not receive an income for raising a child with a complex medical condition, a 24/7 job that produced a loving, kind, wise, and (relatively healthy) wonderful member of humanity, but I had the great privilege to learn what it means to love someone unconditionally and express love through complete devotion. I did not receive a benefit package for providing Thanksgiving dinners to those who had no family; or writing three letters a week to my husband’s cousin through all the years he was in prison for drug use in order to keep his spirits high and suicidal ideation at bay; or for the volunteer work of holding unwanted babies in foster care facilities because the state only employed enough people to feed and change the infants, not provide comfort; or showing up to domestic abuse shelters to empower women to transcend victimhood; or spending Christmas feeding and singing carols with the homeless; or being present for the the priceless moments for the children in my life so that their parents could work outside the home creating wealth; or spend countless nights talking loved ones off the ledge of self-destruction, that turned into midnight hours in parking lots of rehab facilities, in ICUs holding hands with people I loved as they recovered from an overdose, or chemo, or a traffic accident; or making it safe to tell the truth so that someone can share their shame of past mistakes and know the healing power of forgiveness, unconditional love, and what it means to have someone stay even when we bare our human imperfections. I learned the value of loving big, showing up, being consistently present for those in need, and the life-saving difference simple presence can be. I Was a Caregiver While Working Full Time and Managing a Disability In addition to being a caregiver from as young as I can remember beginning with my parents and siblings, I had a career, a job, side hustles, and a disability to manag (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/ehlers-danlos-syndrome)e. No one has ever called me “lazy.” I’ve been working since I was a child and paying taxes my entire life. Growing up, I was taught to follow my dreams but have a back up plan in case I failed. This meant that I was always juggling three kinds of work with very little rest: jobs for money, pursuing the career of my dreams, and doing the unpaid labor of caregiving. It was an endless hustle to survive; exhausting myself and my resources on a fast track to burnout. When I entered adulthood, there was a popular book at that time entitled, “Do what you love, the money will follow,” by Marsha Sinetar. What life has taught me is that sometimes “the money that follows” is not necessarily our own but it doesn’t make us any less deserving of having “earned” it. I began writing and performing at a very young age. I knew my purpose in life was to combine arts with activism. I booked my first commercial as a teen, and it was nominated for a Clio award. I became a card-carrying member of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, and later the Screen Actors Guild. These unions eventually merged into SAG-AFTRA, which technically made me a “professional actor.” I thought I was set. I had legit talent agents. I went on hundreds of auditions. I was on a Emmy Award winning television show and performing live in well-known venues, receiving press, awards, and critical acclaim for my abilities as a writer and a performing artist, but it never amounted to financial security. “Only 0.04% of professional actors fall into the category of “rich and famous.” Only 1% of professional actors make over 50,000 per year or more. Only 4% make $20,000 a year, just enough to qualify for Plan1 health insurance; and at any given time, there’s a 95% unemployment rate amongst all members of SAG-AFTRA.” Being a performing artist is a feast or famine career that requires a lot of unpaid work, in the name of building a resume, and a good deal of expenses to pay for studying, auditioning, training, travel, and other professional tools of the trade. When the money earned this month has to pay for the overdue bills of last month, it’s impossible to get ahead of next month. Savings is a myth for most people in the arts. ### When People Earn Money from Your Work and You’re Not One of Them As a writer, my cultural commentary on A.I. and the stories I’ve broken on plagiarism have been referenced and quoted in The Atlantic, The Guardian, The Cut, Vox, theSkimm’, BestLife Magazine, as well as on various social media outlets and popular podcasts, all who profited financially, whilst I never saw a dime. We have a broken system, in which lesser-known writers and artists have become the profit making inspiration, without any financial remunerations, for mainstream media and anyone with a significant following who chooses to republish our hours of research, work, and intellectual property and call it their own. It’s not fair. It’s not right. It’s not just. I don’t know how to fix it other than to call it out in hopes of calling it into right action. What I do know is that if someone’s writing is compelling enough to sell thousands of papers, and generate millions of views, they shouldn’t be accused of not earning money just because it’s not their own pockets that are being filled. How Does an Independent Author Get Paid? I’m the author of a five-star reviewed book, in hardcover and Audible, (http://SageWords.org) for which I only receive pennies in profit for each listen or sale; and yet celebrities who’ve “borrowed” or “been inspired” by my works have made millions. When I ask to be paid for my work as a writer on Substack, it is somehow seen as “begging for money.” No other respectable job would be seen as “begging” for expecting a paycheck for completed work, so why should that of an independent author? I know my work has value because I see others profiting from it. I deserve to be paid for the work I do. I have actually earned my right to live. I worked my whole life; and yet I have no retirement fund, pension, or savings because the work I did as a caregiver, writer, performing artist, and volunteer was primarily unpaid. I was compensated in character not currency; and only one of those pays the rent. If “tradwives,” “stay-at-home moms/girlfriends,” and independent writers and performing artists like me don’t want the same fate, take heed. Earned Wealth Some people earn their wealth in money; others earn their wealth in heart. Please do not judge those who haven’t taken the same path in life of trading time for money, building a savings account, owning property, and taking care of themselves because they accepted the honor of taking care of others instead. The world spins because it takes all kinds. We need people who are proficient at earning an income and we need people who are proficient at being caregivers, and we need those people to take care of each other. The calling of the adult caregiver often comes from an unprotected childhood. Caregivers usually know what it means to suffer, to be unseen, forgotten, excluded, or not made to feel worthy enough to be protected and provided for, which is why they give so much to those who are in need. We become the adult we most needed in childhood to survive. I probably became a caregiver because what I needed most in life was to be given care, but it’s more than that. Some people are just born to love. They have hearts that pulse with empathy. They can’t help being drawn to the most vulnerable members of society from animals, children, elderly and those who just can’t seem to make it on their own. They see someone in need and their heart opens and expands. Then there are those whose hearts contract and close when they see someone in need. It’s the difference between the empathetic and the apathetic, and the world is filled with both. I was born to love and to fight injustices. I will not apologize for who I am. What if instead of judging whether or not someone is deserving based on the amount of money they earn, we base what they deserve (are eligible for) on the value they contribute to society? Who would personally have more value to you, the wealthy, successful, high-status person? Or the person who shows up when no one else has? The Providers We’ve been conditioned to believe that caregivers will be taken care of by providers. In traditional gender roles the woman cared for the needs of the family and community while the man provided the means for her to do so. This put all the power in the hands of the provider turning many a caregiver into an indentured servant. Even in marriages built on equality, the provider can lose their health, or their income, or choose to leave the marriage thereby leaving the caregiver penniless. To be a provider, one must be committed; to be a caregiver, one must be devoted. Commitment is a practical contract with the mind; devotion is a spiritual contract with the heart. One is a sense of transactional obligation, the other is a sense of selfless service. The thing is, we all pay our dues in life, one way or another. Some of us are lucky enough to work jobs that pay us well, and we will never know the shame of having to ask for help. Then there are those of us who pay our dues in life through caregiving for friends, family, and community. We all have a calling in life: some are called to serve others, and others are called to serve themselves; and eventually, each requires a seat at the other’s table to know wholeness. Interdependence True community is not independence or codependency but rather interdependence. Every caregiver deserves a seat at the table of being cared for. Those who pour love, encouragement, and empowerment into the world deserve to have those same gifts poured back into them. There’s a difference between deserving and entitled; but in a world where nuance is seen as indecision and judgment is an easy finger to point, people forget that we all deserve to have our needs met, basic and sometimes otherwise. No one is entitled to riches nor deserving of hardships. When someone in your life is in need, take a moment to consider what they may have given with their time that possibly made your life easier or that you may have benefited from. Those who have no money are able to give their time, and those who have no time are able to give their money. The world needs both. Thanks for reading Sage Words! This post is public so feel free to share it. Personal update On February 1, we gave up everything to leave America: home, furniture, car, and left behind my daughter’s devoted father / my beloved husband who had to stay to tie up loose ends. We left for a career opportunity for our daughter. We chose to stay because we are in search of a forever home with a more affordable cost of living, healthier food, and economical healthcare and education. Our daughter was one of 12 global students chosen to make their own short stop-motion film at Aardman Animations. She and I spent our first six months abroad in Bristol, England while she made her film (that’s the length of time an American passport allows you to stay before needing a visa). England has many things in common with America, including language, higher cost of living, and a sea of bureaucratic red tape, making it a non-contender, at this time, as an option for a forever home. Therefore, we left England and flew to Greece. We are not vacationing, we are in survival mode. August is the most expensive month in much of Europe for both local and foreign tourism. We’re in the area we could afford. We are now exploring some of the countries offering financial incentives for people to move there as part of relocation programs to repopulate and revive communities whose populations have declined over the years. These programs include Greece and Ireland to name but two. Our goal is to utilize one of these programs to build an international artists and writers residency that would serve the local economy in the country we choose while providing a working income for us personally. Currently, our daughter is exhausted and needs rest. Anyone who has ever made a film can confirm that it often requires a period of recovery afterward, especially when the filmmaker did everything from design and build the sets, the stop-motion puppet, costumes, and music. She wrote both the script and some of the music and recorded narration as well as vocals for the songs used in the film. She gave her everything to this special, evergreen film, AWEN. Her body and spirit are tired. Now that it’s done, it’s time to submit it to film festivals, including The Academy Awards, if she so chooses, which requires an entirely new set of organizational skills, brain power to harness, and financial resources. She’s not quite ready to take on this task. She has informed me that the next place we move to needs to be for an extended period so that she has time to fully recover and focus on her goals at hand, which do not include constant travel. If you know Gracie Justice, the way she does anything is how she does everything. The message of her film and the purpose of her life are both aligned with slow, intentional living that is based in natural settings. As global nomads with no home base to return to and no retirement income to live off of, I’m not sure what our options are from here, all things considered. The only thing we know for sure is that we do not plan to lose our forward momentum by returning to America where we no longer have a home. Until we’ve found and settled into a relocation program, our choices appear to be a year in Albania or our variation of “The Schengen Shuffle” (three months per year in the Schengen regions, three months per year in the Republic of Ireland, six months per year in the UK). It all sounds like an exciting adventure, and it is; but it’s also the exhaustive existence of suitcase dwellers, constantly moving and living with housing insecurity until we secure our forever home. I would not call this a glamorous life. I am however soaked in gratitude like a slice of sweet Greek Revani cake is soaked in honey. As I pray for our continued safety and health, I am grateful for every breath, every moment with my child, every opportunity to build a new life abroad and every person who cares about us and shows up. Thank you for reading and sharing our story. We appreciate your presence. If you see fit to follow and support our journey, here are some options. Become an Angel Subscriber. At this time, as I move through the world never knowing from month to month where my daughter and I will be next, my sole income is the generous support of substack paid subscribers. Thank you for every share, every comment, every ounce of support. I’m exceedingly grateful. This post is public so feel free to share it Sage Justice (http://sagewords.org/) is an award (https://dannilevy.substack.com/p/ed-1-the-loving-fight?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=embedded-post&triedRedirect=true)-winning poet (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/maturity), author (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6), critically acclaimed performing artist (https://youtu.be/w90HNt1l080), and intensely sincere (https://mjcoppola.substack.com/p/creatives-q-and-a-with-sage-justice?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=embedded-post&triedRedirect=true), bold humanitarian (https://www.sagewords.org/souljourners) activist (https://www.sagewords.org/one-minute-reads/guns). After I witnessed an unknown poet have her work usurped (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/mel-robbins-and-plagiarism), I was given the legal advice to place the following © date and statement on all my work: This concept/theory/poem is original to Sage Justice. If you use it, please give credit and link to original work. Thank you. www.SageWords.org © August 9, 2026. Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

3. 

   4 May 2026

   She’s Risking Her Life for Her Dreams

   This profoundly personal article was written by Sage Justice (https://substack.com/profile/85657449-sage-justice) with permission by Gracie Justice (https://substack.com/profile/241594764-gracie-justice) . If you’ve ever fought to make your dreams come true, this piece is for you. May is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month. Please read and share this article with anyone you know who has ever had a dream or suffers from chronic illness or pain and refuses to give up or give in to defeat. Thank you for your kindness, compassion and support. It’s greatly appreciated. While I encourage you to enjoy the photos and click on the links below, I have also recorded this piece for your listening convenience if you prefer not to read. Sage Words is a reader-supported publication. To receive new compelling posts and support my vulnerable work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Your financial contributions go directly to supporting the courageous and talented artist, Gracie Justice. IMMUNOCOMPROMISED The immunocompromised can’t afford to take a single exposure to the public for granted. Every crowd from the bus to the bank, from the mall to the market, to the elevator, canteen, plane, or train, is a threat in which she has to weigh its worth against her own. While her mates are going out to the pubs or movies on weeknights, or concerts and festivals on the weekends and holidays, she spends nearly every nonworking hour in recovery from the exhaustive nature of day-to-day living with health challenges. In addition to the safety precautions she embraces to protect her health when engaging with the public, it’s also her natural inclination to communicate on deeper levels beyond surface conversations. She prefers connecting one-on-one to socializing in large groups. Her peers gather together in community for meals and creative experiences, whilst she’s eating in the garden alone or working in a room where she can keep a window or door open for air flow (a safety measure against illness). Not only does she have to navigate the unseen germs but so too the misunderstood opinions of others as to why she spends so much time away from them. While many people are kind, compassionate, and supportive; others take her absence as a personal rejection of them instead of the embrace for survival it is for her. They have no idea that she is risking her life for her dreams. She cannot afford to risk it for their approval too. Whilst they are gathered as a group socializing in crowded spaces, unmasked and speaking too close to faces, she is shielding herself from the errant unprotected cough, the contagious sneeze, and the infected surface. If she leaves a door open for airflow, it makes the environment safer for her, but at times, more uncomfortable for others if it’s too hot, too cold, or too windy or rainy outside. She’s constantly between the rock of taking care of her health needs and the hard place of not being an inconvenience to others in doing so. The most thoughtful person in the room can be judged as being inconsiderate in an attempt to simply consider their needs in addition to everyone else’s. Learning to live with being misunderstood is an occupational hazard of those with chronic illness. Discreet Disclosure She reveals her medical conditions on a need to know basis because sharing doesn’t always mean other people will be caring. “Bessel Van Der Kolkata, M.D. makes a powerful point in his book, “The Body Keeps Score (https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748),” when he writes, “Talking about painful events doesn’t necessarily establish community — often quite the contrary. Families and organizations may reject members who air the dirty laundry; friends and family can lose patience with people who get stuck in their grief or hurt. This is one reason why trauma victims often withdraw and why their stories become rote narratives, edited into a form least likely to provoke rejection. It’s an enormous challenge to find safe places to express the pain of trauma.” Compassion fatigue is very real in our society, especially with the heightened drama of the fast-paced news cycle. Everyone is seems is overwhelmed and stressed out. As Paul Fussell wrote (https://books.google.com/books?id=_-nbylSlvn8C&pg=PT286&lpg=PT286&dq=paul+fussell+no+one+interested+in+bad+news+quote&source=bl&ots=d7r9jlDJXm&sig=rSSb4iPaiTqrXcdxBRPUP4Ms0MY&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjb-rX-st7bAhXMtlMKHb7FCy0Q6AEIYzAK#v=onepage&q=paul%20fussell%20no%20one%20interested%20in%20bad%20news%20quote&f=false), “No one is very interested in the bad news [you] have to report.” Adding to this is the cultural and medical stigma that if you talk too much about your pain, you must be doing so just to get attention, or that you are neurotic or that your illness is your only identity and therefore all you can talk about. But as Karen Duffy, author of the books “Model Patient and Living with Chronic Pain Without Turning into One” so eloquently coined (http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9905/27/duffy.chat/), “Concealing an illness is like keeping a beach ball under water.” What’s the Risk? The common cold that slows their roll for four days, can turn into a dangerous case of RSV and knock her down for four weeks. When they get the flu, they only need a day or two of rest; and they can push through it and still work while symptomatic. When she gets the flu, it can turn into life threatening sepsis and a hospital stay. The average person has an allergic reaction, and it inconveniences them. She has an allergic reaction, and it flattens her. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships were made for.” She has a dream and the talent and skill set worth investing in; but to do so, she takes great risks that most people will never understand. What Causes This? She didn’t inherit just one genetic disorder: Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (vEDS), a heart and connective tissue disorder, but so too the comorbidities associated with it, like Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Raynaud’s Syndrome, and Gastroparesis to name the current stars on the marquee of chronic offenses, with a special guest appearance by a bleeding disorder that requires treatments that are not always easy to find or afford. POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) Throughout the day, POTS, a multi-system disorder of the autonomic nervous system, grabs her heart, makes it race, and squeezes it into tachycardia. This can come from something as seemingly benign as an electrolyte imbalance brought on by a room that’s too hot. POTS can knock her to the ground if she stands too long, pooling her blood into her feet and making her faint and foggy in the brain. RAYNAUDS (Raynaud’s Syndrome) Raynaud’s Syndrome turns her fingers two different colors from reduced blood flow as a result of small arterial spasms. Some fingers become white, then blue, and can feel freezing and others are red and hot; leaving her hands and feet blotchy and clammy, dripping with sweat and sometimes numb. Every food choice, ideally takes into consideration the balance of blood sugar, electrolytes, potassium, and magnesium intake, whilst monitoring histamines and managing gut microbiome and ferritin levels. No choice is made lightly without great consequence. GASTROPARESIS Gastroparesis not only can cause paralyses to the stomach muscles, preventing them from digesting food, but so too spasms preventing the stomach from receiving food. Living with Gastroparesis requires a hypervigilance, not just around what and when she eats, but so too how she exercises. As a child, she was playing with a friend in a home gym, swinging from a rope with the others, just having fun being a kid and using her stomach muscles like the rest of the girls. However, when they got off the rope, the other girl’s muscles relaxed whereas hers continued to contract involuntarily for over 24 hours. These spasms can cause relentless vomiting that can throw off electrolytes so quickly that it can lead to death. Her maternal great-grandmother had gastroparesis spasms that led to hours of uncontrollable vomiting and an electrolyte and potassium imbalance that caused her to flatline. She died for three minutes on the table in an emergency room as a result. She was brought back to life with a defibrillator and chest compressions. Her paternal grandmother died of complications related to gastroparesis that prevented her from the ability to take in and keep down nourishment. MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) MCAS is when white blood cells designed for immunity begin to malfunction and release an excessive amount of chemical mediators. This can lead to severe recurrent reactions to allergies including life threatening anaphylaxis (an inability to breathe). This is in part how she was diagnosed. She stopped breathing after a single bite of egg when she was just a year old. Every being needs to eat. Imagine if this basic utility of living were something you had to navigate with a magnifying glass day in and day out just to survive. Since she was just a toddler she has had to carry Benadryl, EpiPens, and a fast acting asthma spray inhaler on her person wherever she goes. When you have MCAS it can feel as if you’re allergic to the world. A food that was safe yesterday is no longer safe today. Nothing feels safe enough to eat when everything can cause an allergic reaction. The food and environmental allergies brought on by MCAS are endlessly exhausting. It’s a miracle that she is able to manage it all and that she does so with an incomparable joy and love of life. Her friends spend their evenings at parties while her evenings are spent in peaceful sound baths (https://youtu.be/bmcWTgxLEWE?si=4dubd-K3taR5y59l) (to help regulate her nervous system), medicinal foot soaks and cool showers to wash off allergens. Living with MCAS is load after load of laundry in special fragrance-free soaps that sanitize without removing the helpful bacteria we need. Her sleep is not her own. It’s shared with interruptions that can take hours to tame. The allergies of the day from food that was labeled safe, snow flurries of pollen in the springtime breeze, and unexpected reactions from materials she uses to craft the world she lives in, wake her in fits of coughs and sneezes that keep tissue boxes in business. When not even two hours of sleep per night can be guaranteed to face a full day of work or school, it’s no wonder her evenings, weekends, and holidays are spent resting in recovery. vEDS (Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) When you have hyper-mobile, Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a painful, connective tissue that can impact every area of the body; not only do you live with the risk of sudden death from organ rupture, and an awareness of a shortened life expectancy, but a normal step can lead to a twisted ankle; sleeping in the wrong position can dislocate a hip; and a knee can declare inflamed pain just because it’s a Tuesday. Each article of clothing or shoe is bought with function first versus fashion. Comfort and support are required. Born with a mild club foot, her first podiatrist said she was the youngest patient, at age nine, that he had ever diagnosed with plantar fasciitis: common for those who have known foot freedom and now require arch support to get through each day, uncommon for a child who just wants to run and play in a forest with fairies but whose feet can ache with every step. Imagine living with throbbing foot discomfort since childhood. Yet, she never let her pain stop her from dancing and celebrating the gift of life and living. She turns the light of magic on in every room she enters. Her spirit is indomitable to balance the fragility of her body. MANAGEMENT When others splurge on a new experience, gadget, or novelty, her resources go to paying for dozens of supplements, medications, and medical management. Her routines are built around powders, pills, special teas, and fresh herbs to heal. She embraces, yoga, reiki, prayer, positive thinking, music, meditation, and communing with nature to control the controllable. Creams, braces and medications are her beside companions; but so too positive pieces of inspiration that keep her going. Medications, supplements and wellness routines are the tools the chronically ill use to mend and repair from the damage of living. Most people can push through pain and discomfort to get the job done, very few can push through weakness and fatigue. Three months from a deadline, she has to consider stopping herself from going anywhere where she might catch something that could take her three months to heal from. Everything, from big events she’s always wanted to attend, to the minute maintenance of life: hair cuts, doctors, or dentist visits all become a calculated risk. Being immunocompromised can be a lonely existence when the people you come in contact with have the power to kill you with a cold. She surrounds herself with the few safe people (her parents & chosen family) who she can trust to also guard what they come in contact with in order to protect her. Unfortunately, some people who don’t understand her complex medical history, have chastised her for having a close relationship with her parents and not others who are unable to offer the same level of needed support. Someday she will have a family of her own to surround herself with, to love, protect and be devoted to. Maybe those people will be chosen family, friends, and others like her. For now, she’s got us by her side to support her as best we can and keep her company during periods of self-isolation to stay well. If she risks her life for her dreams, she is condemned for doing so. If she doesn’t risk her life for her dreams, she is condemned for doing so. No matter what choice she makes, she is labeled a victim for being a survivor. Invisible illnesses can lead to feeling invisible in life. ARTISTRY Gracie Justice is a young stop-motion filmmaker who is afflicted with multiple health challenges. She was one of 12 global students chosen to make a short film at Aardman Academy in Bristol, England. She is currently in her final three months of the filmmaking process and she can use the power of your belief in her! Please join me in visualizing her healthy, happy, and finishing her film strong. This is more than just a dream for her, it’s her pursuit of a livelihood, her Ikigai (https://substack.com/@sagewords2027/note/c-248940625?r=1ezxpl&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web), what she does best and most enjoys that also protects her health and serves humanity. Her career choice serves her health as it’s primarily solitary with occasional opportunities to connect and bond in a community with others who do the same. She loves the combination of creative expression mixed with meditative aspects of being stop-motion filmmaker. Her art is also her activism. The name of her stop-motion film is AWEN. Pronounced (Awe Win), as in “awe will always win.” From Welsh Mythology, AWEN, is the inspired human, the muse, the magic that turns creative thought into creative expression. It’s intended to be a seven minute audio/visual experience of relaxation. A movie that feels like poetry calling you back to yourself; reminding you of the magic within. She’s made the puppet, the set, and the costume by hand. It’s magical and beautiful. AWEN, is the spirit of my daughter, herself: the best of each of us within. SUPPORT She needs support to live her life and thrive. Living with these health challenges is not always this dire and dramatic but she’s been playing catch up from day one. Shortly after leaving her life in the USA behind to move to a new country in the UK, she caught a common cold that quickly developed into RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus). In February, that illness set her back about a month in the filmmaking process. She was just beginning to recover in March when April hit her with severe allergies and the constant threat of “A Super Flu” going around the local area. Throughout it all, she’s faced housing insecurity on a monthly basis. On May 1, 2026, rental laws in the UK changed, finally providing short term rentals for visitors like us. We are hopeful that we will be able to secure our housing in the next few days for the remaining three months we are in the UK. The hardest part hasn’t been one single challenge over the other, but all of these factors combined. She’s not just risking her life, she’s building her life; she’s creating the life of her dreams. These disorders do not define her, but they are a hindrance. In a race that most people only need run; she has to jump hurdle after hurdle. How To Help To make visible is to take the time to see, to care, to notice what others do not; to be present. When tempted to judge, embrace curiosity instead. Hold humility in place of certainty when ascribing motive to the actions of others. We make people feel loved when we take the time to truly see and hear them, all of them: the parts that suffer in silence and the parts that celebrate in song. Unconditional love is showing up with presence and sharing life together, committed, come what may. How loving our world would be if we were all more devoted to one another and truly understood our shared humanity. If you see someone suffering, you can say, “How can I help support you?” I know you might not feel well or feel like talking about how you’re feeling. I want you to know that I can see you’re going through a challenging time. I’m here if you need me.” As my grandmother used to say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Remember that no one feels like being vulnerable with someone they feel judged by. It’s hard to feel safe around someone we can’t trust. Be an ally. Be trustworthy, helpful and loyal. Look for ways to be of service. Trust that what you give to others without strings attached comes back to you as a blessing you never expected. Some people have asked how they can help financially. There are three options below. Thank you again for supporting us in this journey. Here are 10 related articles on the topic of living with an invisible illness, chronic pain and fatigue; the management of medical conditions in the face of misjudgments, and how we can all do better in healing ourselves and supporting one another: * What’s Wrong with Her? (Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/ehlers-danlos-syndrome) * How to Be Heard When It Feels Like No One Wants to Hear About Your Pain (https://themighty.com/topic/chronic-pain/how-to-talk-about-chronic-pain/) * On the Spectrum of Healing (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/on-the-spectrum-of-healing) * The Good Doctor (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/the-good-doctor) * How to Heal From Almost Anything (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/how-to-heal-almost-anything) * Solidarity Over Charity (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/solidarity-over-charity) * Your Soul Chose This (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/soul-choices) * The Ambulance Came (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/the-ambulance-came) * They Stole Her Joy (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/they-stole-her-joy?utm_source=publication-search) * Maturity (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/maturity?utm_source=publication-search) Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

4. 

   8 Jul 2025

   On The Spectrum of Healing

   Photo Image: A person stands on shadowed sand facing a mysterious pool of light between the edge of darkness where they are and the lingering sunset filled with hopeful clouds of pink, and yellow streaks across a cobalt sky with indigo edges. Photo by Sage Justice (https://substack.com/profile/85657449-sage-justice) Still You Shine | Sage Justice I won’t say, “Get well soon” for soon is not soon enough in this moment of timeless suspension where I know a well of health still bubbles within you for without it you would not still be here ————— I won’t say, “I hope you feel better” for hope is faith unseen and I see in you all that is perfect, whole and complete. there is no “better” moment than the presence of now knowing you are thought of cared for and so very loved ————— Therefore, I say, “Hello dear one how are you on the spectrum of healing today where are you pointing your view to hold your focus Has fear and hurt clouded your vision or do you remember all that you are and capable of being?” ————— It doesn’t matter where you stand on the spectrum of healing today for I will stand with you wherever you are in silence or in song ————— I will not dismiss your discomfort or minimize your pain nor the light within you that still glows. I see your shine and I hold it’s hand and walk with it at night under the moon by the raging waves of Mother Nature that knock us down and carry us home. ————— I choose to be a witness, not a judge, nor a jury, on this spectrum of healing, while offering inspiration and joy as our companions. Presenting art, music, laughter, and good food, as we Wonder and sing with Stevie, Songs in the Key of Life. ————— In a world where “change is the only constant in life” and “love is all there is” please allow me to remind you of the miracle of you— your magnificence your glory, your beauty, and your inherent health. Even in the face of hardship still you shine. © Sage Justice, July 7, 2025. After I witnessed an unknown poet have her work usurped (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/mel-robbins-and-plagiarism), I was given the legal advice to place the following © date and statement on all my work: This concept/theory/poem is original to Sage Justice. If you use it, please give credit and link to original work. Thank you. www.SageWords.org I wrote this for one of my dear friend’s mother, who is going through cancer. I edited it with the thoughts of those who suffer from a chronic illness; (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/ehlers-danlos-syndrome) are healing from trauma (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/rainy-days-more-beatings); PTSD (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/ptsd); an acute injury; for my friends who don’t follow their dreams or pursue their passions for fear of failure; for all those who long deeply to be seen and to know their struggles haven’t been forgotten but who also grow weary of being asked about their progress managing their pain (https://themighty.com/topic/chronic-pain/how-to-talk-about-chronic-pain/) and are given platitudes in place of true compassion, empathy and understanding. May these words meet the hearts of those in need of healing. Photo Image: In a vintage style, Polaroid picture that looks a little worn, over-exposed but authentically sincere, Sage Justice stands on a pier with the ocean behind her at sunset. She is reaching out her hand to someone in need. She’s wearing a red hoodie, black pants, and a loving smile as her wind blown hair falls near her left shoulder. Sage Justice (http://SageWords.org) is an award-winning poet (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/maturity), author (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6), critically acclaimed performing artist (https://youtu.be/w90HNt1l080), and intensely sincere (https://mjcoppola.substack.com/p/creatives-q-and-a-with-sage-justice?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=embedded-post&triedRedirect=true), bold humanitarian (https://www.sagewords.org/souljourners) activist (https://www.sagewords.org/one-minute-reads/guns). Sage Words is a reader-supported publication. To receive thought-provoking inspiration please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Poets rely largely on benefactors, and grants to pay the bills. Your support is invaluable. Thank you. If you appreciate this publication, Sage Words (https://substack.com/@sagewords2027?utm_source=user-menu), but are unable to afford a subscription, please consider choosing the “Buy Me a Coffee” button when you can. Every little bit helps. Thanks! Buy Sage a Coffee (https://buymeacoffee.com/sagejustice) Read the book FREEDOM ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Q5Z80EQQZ4E6&keywords=sage%20words%20freedom&qid=1648364481&sprefix=sage%20words%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-1) Subscribe to Sage on Youtube (https://youtube.com/@sagewords2027?si=0EgZE55xGDkGdbGK) Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

5. 

   25 Apr 2025

   He Broke My Trust

   Special Thanks to Pamela Schacht for her striking original artwork @Pamschachtstudio (Description for the visually impaired: Canvas with crimson flowers that have fallen from sunkissed stems.) This may be the most important piece I’ve ever shared. It’s my hope that because the material is so relatable (we’ve all been betrayed or had our trust damaged) that it can help a great deal of people. The post is too long for email but you can click “view entire message” to see it all. This piece has been two years in the making. It’s on the long side so I’ve recorded it for you if you prefer to listen versus read. Please click on the triangle icon to hear this story. I respect your time and appreciate your engagement. Thank you so very much for being here with me. Buckle Up, Buttercup Throwing stones from glass houses leaves us all in shards of broken pieces. The idea of repair in conflict resolution is foreign to many people. They may not even know there’s an option that exists between going back to the way things were or cutting someone off completely. This is a show and tell about what repair, boundaries, and forgiveness look like in a relationship marred by damaged trust, taken from an excerpt of the full-length story entitled, “Pratfall from Grace.” Sage Words is a reader-supported publication. “I’m a paid subscriber because Sage Justice is an Inspiration and I want to support her continued work.” - L. E. Mastilock, author. Pratfall from Grace (excerpt) Sass and Daniel have history; they’ve known each other over half their lives. They even lived and worked with each other for a short time, many years ago. Throughout Daniel’s children’s lives, Sass was present for their sport games, artistic performances, birthday parties, illnesses, and other significant moments. In fact, Daniel and his wife asked Sass and her husband to be the legal guardians of their children, should anything ever happen to them. Sass took that role to heart and would have given her life for any one of those kids. When someone trusts you enough to leave their children in your care, you’d think they’d respect you enough to communicate with you openly, when there’s an issue, and not go behind your back. Open communication takes courage and character- the ability to remain in one’s own integrity even when personally uncomfortable. Sometimes, out of convenience to themselves, people move in disrespectful shadows; which is what Daniel did to Sass. When people get too comfortable in relationships (or too uncomfortable) they can take their loved ones for granted and damage trust. When that happens, they must offer repair. Sass confronted Daniel in search of understanding. The Confrontation Sass: Why didn’t you just come to me directly in good faith? The issue wasn’t that big of a deal. You damaged my trust in you. Why did you feel you had to go behind my back and try to get my husband to hide something from me? Daniel: Because I was scarred by a letter you wrote over 30 years ago. Sass was shocked and didn’t know if Daniel was joking or being serious. Sass: Are you kidding? Daniel: No. Sass: I’m sorry, she said, with a stifled laugh, are you seriously blaming your adult behavior in the present on something I did as a kid in the past? You’ve had over 30 years to talk to me about being “scarred,” and this is the first I’m hearing of it. Daniel: I’m just realizing it now. Sass: You’re just realizing now that you are “Scarred” from a letter you read over half your life ago? “Scarred” is a pretty serious word to use. Should I be worried about you? That sounds like a job for a therapist to help you process it. Daniel: I don’t need to process anything. I’m fine. Sass: Obviously, you are not “fine.” You broke my trust by saying one thing to my face and another behind my back the next day. It’s made me doubt your sincerity and question our entire history. All these years I chose to believe your words over your contradictory actions because you seem so sincere when you say things like, “I love you. I care about you. I miss you guys.” Yet, your actions have not demonstrated that. If you feel comfortable creating a secret text group, is there a secret email group too? Have you been lying all these years, pretending to love and care because it was easier than facing the uncomfortable truth that you don’t? I feel especially betrayed that you would try to get my husband to keep a secret from me. Is that the type of marriage you have, where you think it’s OK to keep secrets from your spouse? What the hell, Daniel? How to Repair “We mend our wounds by entering with a repair kit, not a shield and weapon. Accountability is the first step in repair.” (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/accountability-101) Daniel: I’m sorry. Sass: I appreciate that, and I accept your apology; but I don’t trust you at your word anymore, only your actions. An apology alone doesn’t provide me with any reassurance that this won’t happen again. You can’t just say, “I’m sorry.” You need to offer repair. Daniel: What do you mean by repair? Sass: Repair is not the performative gesture of saying, “I’m sorry.” Repair is a change in behavior to fix what’s been broken, because “History unacknowledged is repeated.” Repair is what taking accountability for your behavior looks like. For example, if you hit someone’s car (intentionally or unintentionally), you’d take accountability by admitting what you did and paying for the repairs. When you hurt someone emotionally through lies, betrayal, or other harm (intentionally or unintentionally), you do the same. Repair is taking ownership for your own unresolved issues, judgements, and resentments that were used to justify disrespectful and hurtful behaviors. In this case, it might look like you saying, “I’m sorry I blamed my present disrespectful behavior toward you on something that happened over 30 years ago. If I had it to do over again, I would have worked through my past issues so that they were not coloring my present choices. I would have come to you directly instead of going behind your back. I would not have welcomed you to your face and then shut you out when you weren’t looking. I definitely would not have asked your husband to keep a secret from you.” If an apology gets to the point that it needs repair, you might want to send some apology flowers as well, just sayin’. Broken trust is a fault line where no one feels safe living. Even if the people involved no longer want to live there, the “you broke it, you fix it” rule still applies. Your inability to simply pick up the phone and talk to me directly and everything that followed after that has lead to trust so damaged that it’s broken apart an entire unit of people- no one in my household trusts you anymore. Without repair, this only gets worse. The longer you wait the more irreparable the damage becomes. Repair is not the act of mending a relationship that’s ended; it’s the act of mending the behavior that ended the relationship to avoid it from happening again with that person or another. What we fail to fix with the people we are at odds with now, we will likely repeat with the people we love the most in the future, like our children, in-laws, grandchildren, or partners. That’s because wherever we go, there we are, blaming others for our behavior instead of taking responsibility for our actions. As long as someone feels justified in blaming external circumstances for their behavior, they will continue to do so. Repair is the necessary action between an apology and the final stage of conflict resolution: choosing to reconcile a new “normal” or choosing to walk away. Repair creates moist ground where new seeds of healing can take place organically or a dry place to build a stone garden. Daniel: “I feel repair is not possible.” Full Stop! Sass was shocked and deeply saddened. In refusing to offer repair, Daniel was in effect putting the nail in the coffin of a 35-year-old relationship, not just with Sass, but with her husband and child as well. They all spent the next two years grieving a loss that didn’t have to be and learning how to navigate a new normal. Sass could have asked why Daniel felt that repair was not possible, but to her, that would have been an act of disrespect to them both. She would have been disrespecting herself, because a “why?” at this point would feel like a plead, and no one should have to beg someone else for basic human decency. It would have been disrespectful to Daniel because, as every woman understands, “no” is a complete sentence. If someone is not willing to offer repair, it’s best to allow them to have the last word, because that’s all they will have after you walk away (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/she-walked-away). When People Can’t be Accountable Daniel saw “repair” as synonymous with going back to the past. He had never been introduced to the concept of repair because up until now, few had held him accountable for his actions. Daniel had been taught in his childhood that to admit to being wrong (as in, “made a mistake”) was equal to being wrong (as in “being a bad person”), and as someone who identified as being a “stand-up guy” he struggled to find the language to take ownership for his behavior without blaming outside sources for his choices. As a result, he did not know how to take accountability. At some point, Daniel said to a third party, “Why does Sass want to repair things if she hates me so much?” To which the third party said, Sass never mentioned the word “hate.” As an outsider, do you see what’s happening here? This is a common reaction when someone is called to take accountability for their behavior: One person speaks about how hurt they were by someone else’s behavior and all the other person hears is that they are hated. This is why we have wars in the world, because too few people truly know how to actively listen, hear, mirror and communicate effectively. It’s helpful to get curious and ask why a person hears something other than that which is being said. Perhaps it’s internalized shame. The more Sass conveyed her sadness, the more Daniel internalized her feelings of hurt, as feelings of hate being directed toward him. Sass was sharing about her disappointment, and what Daniel heard was that he was hated. When we call people into right action by pointing out that we were hurt by their behavior and they interpret that as us hating them, we know we are dealing with a type of arrested emotional development. We can’t rationalize with someone who is being irrational. We can talk until we’re blue in the face; but if a person is so focused on being defensive to the lie that they are telling themselves, then they can’t possibly receive the truth being offered to them by another. The bottom line is that no one is perfect but not everyone can face their imperfections. If a person can convince themselves that they are justified in treating another human with disrespect, they can’t convince themselves that they are in the wrong. In the Absence of Repair Without repair there is no equality, or equity; people will always be able to blame their current behavior on something someone else said or did in the past. Without repair, there is an imbalance of power. One party, typically the offender, remains behaving as they always have, defending the harm they cause through DARVO which is an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse, Victim, and Offender (as in, I went behind your back because you wrote a letter over 30 years ago that scarred me so much -that I’m only realizing it now -but using it as a far reaching excuse to claim this is your fault, not mine). Here’s a comical example of DARVO brought to Sass from her child who said, “This video (https://youtube.com/shorts/TpmXl6lMNGg?si=GMHb44X-e-xw07t7) made me think of you (on the right- doing all the work) and Daniel (on the left- justifying past behavior by something said in the present). https://youtube.com/shorts/TpmXl6lMNGg?si=GMHb44X-e-xw07t7 DARVO is used by people in power to deflect blame and avoid taking ownership for their actions. The other party is expected to allow the harm and disrespect they experienced by staying silent, or “moving on,” which is often code for: this will happen again; and there’s nothing you can do about it. This is why offenders often prefer shallow, surface pleasantries, as it maintains their comfort level without asking them to maintain their integrity (that their actions match their words) and their character (having ethical principles and a strong moral compass that isn’t swayed by the nuisance of direct communication). Radical responsibility, which is covered in Sage Words Freedom Book One (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Q5Z80EQQZ4E6&keywords=sage%20words%20freedom&qid=1648364481&sprefix=sage%20words%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-1), (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Q5Z80EQQZ4E6&keywords=sage%20words%20freedom&qid=1648364481&sprefix=sage%20words%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-1)demonstrates the empowering choice we have in a situation such as this. If we’re not doing anything to stop the absence of repair, we’re doing something to encourage it. We have a choice in what we allow in our lives. Boundaries Daniel refused to offer repair, which meant there was nothing more for Sass to say. It’s not until people learn how to take accountability that they learn to change. If someone refuses to repair what’s broken, they are in essence giving themselves permission to cause harm again. When we hold others accountable for their behavior, they experience the natural consequences of their actions. When we don’t hold others accountable, we experience the natural consequences of their actions; and that’s not fair. What self-respecting woman would agree to engage, on any level, with a man who hurt her, who was unwilling to offer repair? Civility in the Absence of Conflict Resolution Without repair, civility is still required for mature engagements. However, one should not be expected to betray themselves with the paper cuts of polite pleasantries to engage with a person who damaged their trust. Why, in the name of decorum, do we expect women to protect the feelings of the men who hurt them? That’s outrageously asinine and ludicrous! Besides, that’s all that Daniel desires: polite pleasantries as a form of civility, which would honor and serve Daniel while dismissing and not serving, Sass. Is that fair? Too many women are expected to “go along, to get along,” to make others comfortable at the expense of making themselves uncomfortable. This is one of many ways that society accepts and perpetuates women accepting less than they deserve. It will never change unless we collectively choose to expect more from each other as respectful human beings capable of care and compassion. Besides, we have the concept of “civility” all wrong. As the InstituteForCivility.org writes, “Traditional applications of civility that emphasize manners and behavior over meaningful engagement and shared understanding have led us to a fatal misunderstanding of how to resolve our differences. Forced politeness that conceals authentic human feeling only fosters resentment and drives agendas underground.” Sass will not betray her integrity by concealing her authenticity to make any person who causes harm comfortable with continuing to do so. She can, however, forgive with repair; but without that basic human respect, she will remove herself from any engagement whatsoever and will continue to call out the harm done. When you’re an open, loving person, it’s too easy to get run over by careless behavior. Boundaries are like speed bumps on the street of your being. They slow the roll of recklessness in others and allow you to watch who respects them versus who tears over them and bottoms out. Standards Some people can still maintain phony exchanges in the aftermath of conflict without resolution. Sass is not one of those people; for better or worse, you always know where you stand with Sass. She didn’t become the woman she is by being indecisive, mousy and submissive. The exact same traits that made Daniel love, trust and respect Sass in the first place: her heart, her integrity, and the strength of her character, are what were pushing him away now. People respect your standards until they can’t manipulate you because of them. Breaking generational trauma required Sass to learn to regulate her emotions, level up her communication skills, and surround herself with people who do the same. She replaced toxic coping skills, like “ruinous empathy,” (coined by author Kim Scott) with more clear forms of effective communication, like radical candor, which is to “care personally and challenge directly.” She offered as much grace as she could to both Daniel and herself—which meant keeping her commitment to protect herself, by following through with the boundary of not engaging without repair. Daniel, by contrast, was born with an inherent privilege of being a healthy white male, into an upper middle-class home with two loving parents, supportive siblings, a respectable education, and no generational trauma to overcome. When you take a woman who has self-respect despite being taught to apologize for everything from the time that she was a young girl and place her in a situation with a man who was never expected to apologize with repair for anything, you can get the same reaction in person that you might from adding baking soda to vinegar. There is nothing inherently wrong with baking soda or vinegar on their own; but when mixed together, the result can be explosive. Power Struggles Between Men and Strong Women Women are expected to endure a tremendous amount of emotional labor and patience with patriarchal standards. They are tired of teaching the same lessons over and over and as a result, they are learning how to walk away (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/burning-bridges-that-lead-to-nowhere)from any work-life imbalance that’s void of respect. In order to grow beyond social standards that did not serve her, Sass took radical responsibility for her behaviors so that she could create healthier relationships and interactions with others. As a result, she raised her standards and relationship expectations for conflict resolution and began to attract people into her life who were doing the same, while allowing those who did not to fall away. Without repair, relationship dynamics will revolve around power struggles. One person takes the liberty to behave however they desire without any accountability to change no matter who they hurt. The other person then must choose to either engage with the person who has harmed them through disrespect, betrayal, or other abuses, or to walk away. Sass cannot force Daniel to take accountability for his behavior, and she will not acquiesce to the archaic standards that would expect her to engage with a man who refused to offer repair. Yet, they remain in the same community. Daniel has convinced himself that he didn’t intend to cause harm and therefore the harm Sass and her family have experienced is unmerited. Can you imagine if the justice system agreed? To return to the car analogy, picture a person hitting your car and exclaiming, “I didn’t mean to hit it. Therefore, I’m not at fault; and I refuse to offer repair.” Unintended Harm When people say, “I didn’t intend to hurt you.” Sometimes, they are in effect also saying, “I didn’t intend not to hurt you.” Careless people, care less, and injury can happen with or without care or intent. Breaking trust is causing harm because trust is the foundation of everything. If we’re at a gun range, we trust that other people won’t shoot us. However, if our intention is to hit the practice target that we’re aiming for but our bullet lands on an innocent bystander, we cause harm, even if it’s unintentional; and we have to face the natural consequences of our actions, which may mean paying reparations and losing access to that person until we can offer repair. Side note: As I was writing this, an instagram reel popped up of that very same scenario. The actress, Christy Romano, was shot in the face at a clay pigeon shooting range (she’s healing fine) (https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF0dgT5uibG/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==). What’s even more odd is that I met her years ago, when my husband worked with her as a music producer while she was on the TV show Even Stevens (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206511/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_in_0_q_even%2520steven) which my brother-in-law also worked on. When these sorts of “coincidences” just pop on our phones, it feels more spooky than serendipitous. Even with my microphone off, and protective settings in place, the amount of biometric data our apps collect to customize our social media feeds is an invasion of privacy, to say the least. In 2019, I wrote an article for the magazine BLUNTMoms about this topic entitled Privacy Protection in the Aftermath of the Great Hack of Facebook (https://bluntmoms.com/privacy-protection-in-the-aftermath-of-the-great-hack-of-facebook/), and it’s eerie how evergreen and prescient that piece turned out to be. Getting back to this piece on damaged trust and on to the topic of… Forgiveness Forgiveness doesn’t mean we hand the gun back to the person who shot us. Forgiveness simply means we stop wishing they’d been shot too. Some people mistake boundaries for grudges or a lack of forgiveness. They equate forgiveness with giving people endless chances to continue to hurt us, partially because of the Bible verse that says we should forgive someone “seventy times seventy” (that’s 490 times for curious non mathematical minds), essentially, endlessly; but forgiveness is not the acceptance or allowance of offensive, disrespectful, or abusive behavior. Forgiveness is the act of no longer resenting someone for what they did, no longer lamenting how things could have been different. Forgiveness is making peace with what is by modifying our behavior to change what’s in our control and accept what isn’t. Boundaries in the Absence of Accountability Sass forgave Daniel, but not without the collateral damage of broken trust and relationships lost that extended well beyond Sass and Daniel. Sass doesn’t have to agree with someone to love them; she just wants to know who they really are behind the social mask they wear. Sass wants to have honest communication when she engages; to know she can trust Daniel to say what he means and mean what he says, which is to trust him to act with integrity so that she can trust his character, his word. If we can’t trust people at their word, where is their character? We may not wish to continue in a relationship with someone who has hurt, betrayed, or disrespected us; but we may still need to engage with them because we remain tied to each other through work, family, or shared community. In this case, we’re looking for repair in order to trust the person enough to know that they won’t do what they did again; and if they do, we can at least, hold them to the word they gave to be accountable for it. One of the goals of repair is to encourage each person involved to remember their integrity, the commitments they make to themselves to be true to the things they say, to words and actions which are in alignment with each other. We avoid the act of self-betrayal by living up to the standards we set for ourselves. Often, all we need to prevent betraying another is to honor our own integrity. Conflicting Communication Styles The following is an excerpt of a piece I wrote in 2023 entitled Accountability 101 (https://open.substack.com/pub/sagejustice/p/accountability-101?r=1ezxpl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false) which can be found on my Substack for those who’d like to dive deeper. “Sometimes relationships end not because the people are incompatible but because their communication styles are incompatible. Your directness might be off-putting to their passive-aggression. If they expect you to read between the lines of everything they say, they might project that same expectation onto you and create content and meaning from your words that simply does not exist between the lines of what you say. They may interpret your sincerity as sarcasm and your direct communication may be treated as confrontation. Sometimes, we can’t win for losing. Truth does not have to be aggressive; perceptions make it so. It’s possible to maintain gentle diplomacy with radical candor; but it takes prioritizing honesty above ‘polite lies,’ and that can take some people a lifetime to learn or unlearn as the case may be. We are born honest, we are taught to lie in the name of keeping the peace; and it’s the lies which actually create the wars and destroy our peace. Take heed to not hold too tightly to the ‘polite lies’ when a kind truth may be the key to creating understanding. Just because someone believes their way of doing things is right for them, doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone, or morally right for anyone. We can honor differences while maintaining our integrity. We do not need to make ourselves less than in order to make others feel equal to. It’s a simple fact that if we continually find ourselves being the bigger person, we will grow tired of being around those who are comfortable remaining small.” Fallout: Writing from the Scar not the Wound While the rumor mill tilled for years, Sass chose not to try and tell her side of the story. Instead, she adopted the saying, “Silence cannot be misquoted.” She had come to learn that people who listen to rumors are not discerning of the truth, for if they were, they would search out both sides of a story independently before drawing their conclusions. Golden handcuffs tend to produce the most effective smear campaigns against scapegoats and truth tellers. Sass, with her unadorned wrists, took comfort in her grandmother’s words, “Truth is like oil, it always rises to the surface.” There are three main forms of currency in the world: money, status, and character; only character is priceless and can’t be bought, so be careful not to lose it on your way to money and status. If you’d like to hear more of the story, Pratfall From Grace, please leave a comment or send a message and let me know and perhaps I will make the full story available on my website. Thanks for reading. Quick Summary of the concept of Repair Repair is a simple two-step process; but it requires accountability, self-reflection, and the ability to admit when we were wrong, and all of us are wrong sometimes. The offender says, “This is what I learned from the hurt I caused, and this is how I would do things differently to not cause hurt again.” It’s as simple as two statements: 1. I learned…, 2. and this is how I would do it differently if given the chance… Repair is taking accountability for your actions and implementing change to your behavior. It just takes two statements to offer reassurance, to begin to regain trust, to illustrate that a lesson has been learned so that the same mistake isn’t likely to happen again. Why We Need Repair Repair isn’t always necessary. Sometimes a simple “I’m sorry” is all it takes to move on; but when trust has been broken the situation requires repair. It creates respectful neutral ground where authentic engagement can still occur in relationships that are broken. It acknowledges the harm caused and the lesson learned. This demonstrates to the person who was hurt that this offense will not be repeated. Sage Justice © 2022, 2025 www.SageWords.org This concept/theory/poem is original to Sage Justice. If you use it, please give credit and link to original work. Thank you. Relationship Support Here’s a helpful list of related links on the topic of healing conflict resolution while protecting yourself with boundaries in the process: * She Stayed (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/she-stayed?r=1ezxpl) * I, Belong (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/i-belong) * Solidarity over Charity (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/solidarity-over-charity?r=1ezxpl) * Broken (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/broken?r=1ezxpl) * Oneness (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/oneness?r=1ezxpl) * Maturity (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/maturity?r=1ezxpl) * Meditate (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/meditate?r=1ezxpl) * Don’t Let your Identity Get in the Way of your Humanity (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/dont-let-your-identity-get-in-the?r=1ezxpl) * Burning Bridges that Lead to Nowhere (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/burning-bridges-that-lead-to-nowhere?r=1ezxpl) * Accountability 101 (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/accountability-101?r=1ezxpl) * Lightworkers (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/lightworkers?r=1ezxpl) * Pearls before Swine (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/pearls-before-swine?r=1ezxpl) * How to Atone (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/how-to-atone?r=1ezxpl) * A Three-Part Series on: How to Give a Highly Effective, Heartfelt, Honest Apology in Seven Simple Steps (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/a-three-part-series-on-how-to-give?r=1ezxpl) * How to Be a Mensch (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/how-to-be-a-mensch?r=1ezxpl) * Time (https://open.substack.com/pub/sagejustice/p/time?r=1ezxpl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web) * Presence (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/presence?r=1ezxpl) * What My Grandmother Taught Me about Being a Friend (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/what-my-grandmother-taught-me-about?r=1ezxpl) * Three Apologies (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/three-apologies?r=1ezxpl) * She walked away (https://open.substack.com/pub/sagejustice/p/she-walked-away?r=1ezxpl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web) To receive new posts and support solution-based writing, please consider becoming a free, or even better, a paid subscriber. 🎁Thank you! Description for the visually impaired-Photo of Sage Justice, wearing poet’s black while sitting outside near a patch of lavender in France, at the Writers and Artists-in-Residence at Chateau d’Orquevaux. Sage Justice (http://SageWords.org) is an award-winning poet (https://sagejustice.substack.com/p/maturity), author (https://www.amazon.com/Sage-Words-Freedom-Book-One/dp/B09V121NV6), critically acclaimed performing artist (https://youtu.be/w90HNt1l080), and intensely sincere (https://mjcoppola.substack.com/p/creatives-q-and-a-with-sage-justice?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=embedded-post&triedRedirect=true), bold humanitarian (https://www.sagewords.org/souljourners) activist (https://www.sagewords.org/one-minute-reads/guns). If you appreciate this publication, Sage Words (https://substack.com/@sagewords2027?utm_source=user-menu), but are unable to afford a subscription, please consider choosing the “Buy Me a Coffee” button when you can. Every little bit helps. Thanks! Thanks for reading Sage Words! This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

6. 

   12 Apr 2025

   Mel Robbins, Plagiarism, Usurping, and the Protection of Unknown Writers.

   Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

7. 

   9 Sept 2023

   Podcast Interview with The Handmaid’s Tale Emmy Winner, Kira Snyder

   Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

8. 

   26 Apr 2022

   Wealth: Higher Income than we Deserve for Opportunities we are Lucky Enough to Have.

   Get full access to Sage Words at sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe (https://sagejustice.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

4 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 10 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

7

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

32

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.