About SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google and make money from your website with practical SEO tips
This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you.
Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot.
Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings."
I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here.
More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format.
You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results.
You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country.
You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for.
This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod.
I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring.
This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy.
Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business.
New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh bullshit faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to.
Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.
You've got a signed SEO contract you've never read, and somewhere in it is the reason you can't leave. Let's go and find it.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm going through the document, not the sales pitch. I've already done an episode on the red flags to spot before you hire an SEO agency. This one's for everyone who already has, and signed a contract they skimmed at best, on the strength of a conversation and a proposal deck that were both a lot friendlier than the paperwork.
Contracts aren't inherently a stitch-up, and a decent one protects both of you. What I've got a problem with is a very specific set of clauses that exist to make it hard for you to leave when the work isn't working.
Here's what I'm covering:
— How a notice period and an auto-renewal turn a 12-month term into 15 months, or another full year of something you'd already decided to stop
— My honest position on minimum terms: when three to six months is fair, and when 12 months is about churn
— Why a schedule of work full of adjectives can't be enforced
— Who owns your content, your links and your accounts when you leave, and why you want to see the word "assign", not "licence"
— Exclusivity, non-disparagement, and the clause that blames you for not implementing their recommendations
— The handover clause most contracts don't have at all
— The two-document test: put the proposal next to the contract and see how much of what you were sold you can actually hold anyone to
I also give you five bits of homework, including the one date that needs to go in your calendar today and a one-line email to send this week.
I'm not a solicitor and this isn't legal advice. If there's serious money involved, get a proper commercial solicitor to look at it.
If you know someone who's about to sign an SEO contract, send them this. 15 minutes now beats a year of regret.
Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. And go and find out when your notice period ends.
Chapters:
00:00 — Why Your SEO Contract Matters
01:13 — Notice Periods And What You Get
03:35 — Who Owns The Work When You Leave
06:35 — The Two-Document Test And Homework
Links mentioned:
Non-Wanky SEO Courses (the On-Page SEO Toolkit is free): https://nonwankyseo.com
Episode 2, on who actually owns your SEO and your accounts: https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/your-seo-sht-who-actually-owns-it
Episode 23, on why I don't want you buying links: https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/stop-buying-backlinks-ffs
The red flags episode, for spotting a dodgy agency before you hire them: [ADD EPISODE URL]
What you're actually paying your SEO for (Ep 9, if that's the one she means by "I've covered this before"): https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/what-the-fk-your-seo-is-actually-charging-you-for-and-why-its-a-scam
Google's own advice on hiring an SEO ("No one can guarantee a #1 ranking on Google"): https://developers.google.com/search/docs/fundamentals/do-i-need-seo
UK government guidance on who owns copyright in work you commission: https://www.gov.uk/ownership-of-copyright-works
Follow Nikki:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social
Mentioned in this episode:
ICN Network
4 Oct 2026
Negative SEO Is Mostly a Con. Here's What Actually Hurts You
Somebody is going to tell you your competitor is attacking your SEO, and then offer to protect you for a monthly fee. That's the con. But there are real attacks, and they're not the ones being sold to you.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ (https://nikki-pilkington.com/) and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm taking apart negative SEO: the idea that someone else can deliberately damage your rankings. It's one of the most effective fear sales in this industry because it does two things at once. It explains away a drop that might be your agency's fault, and it justifies a new line on an invoice. I'm going to tell you what's mostly rubbish, and then I'm going to tell you what's real, because there are ways someone can do you harm, and no one's selling protection for those. Funny that.
Here's what I'm covering:
— Why dumping thousands of dodgy links on a competitor used to work, and why it doesn't now (Google moved from punishing the site to ignoring the rubbish around 2016)
— The disavow tool: the one situation it genuinely belongs in, and why the monthly "backlink monitoring" line on your invoice is probably protecting you from nothing
— Why "a competitor attacked you" is such a convenient explanation for someone whose work you're questioning, and the three questions to ask before you accept it
— The real threats nobody sells protection for, starting with the fact that anyone can suggest an edit to your Google Business Profile, including that you're permanently closed
— Hacked sites, fake copyright complaints that get your pages removed from Google, review bombing, and the ex-agency that still holds your logins
— Four free checks you can do this week, plus my favourite kind of homework: cancelling something
I also give you a proper piece of homework. Four checks, all free, and one thing to cancel. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind, including a 10-second look in Search Console that tells you whether anybody has penalised you.
If you know someone who's just been told they're under attack, send them this. It might save them a monthly fee.
Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. And go and check your opening hours.
Chapters:
00:00 — Somebody's about to sell you protection
02:30 — The disavow tool: where the money is
04:03 — The real threats nobody's selling you protection for
07:55 — Homework: four free checks
09:43 — The negative homework: cancel the protection
Links mentioned:
Non-Wanky SEO Courses (the On-Page SEO Toolkit is now free): https://nonwankyseo.com
Google on the disavow tool (and why most sites don't need it): https://support.google.com/webmasters/answer/2648487
Search Console manual actions report: https://support.google.com/webmasters/answer/9044175
Search Console security issues report: https://support.google.com/webmasters/answer/9044101
Google's spam policies (including hacked content): https://developers.google.com/search/docs/essentials/spam-policies
Episode 2, on who actually owns your Google accounts: https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/your-seo-sht-who-actually-owns-it (https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/your-seo-sht-who-actually-owns-it)
The review side of things: https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/handle-your-reviews-legally-or-risk-a-300000-fine (https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/handle-your-reviews-legally-or-risk-a-300000-fine)
Follow Nikki:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social
Mentioned in this episode:
ICN Network
27 Sept 2026
Traffic's Down? Don't Sack Your SEO Yet, FFS!
Your traffic's down, you're about to have a furious phone call with your SEO, and there's a decent chance the drop has got nothing to do with them. Twenty minutes and you'll know which it is.
Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ (https://nikki-pilkington.com/) and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm walking you through exactly what to do when your traffic drops, before you pick up the phone to anyone. Because a lot of the time, traffic goes down for a reason that has nothing to do with anybody's SEO work, and somebody's about to get sacked over nothing. Sometimes it really is your SEO. Either way, you should know which one you're looking at before that conversation happens.
Here's what I'm covering:
— Why your search traffic is really three things multiplied together, and why only one of them is what most people mean by SEO
— The 20-minute diagnosis in Google Search Console, in the order that saves you time, starting with the single most useful thing in the whole episode
— Why you should ignore average position, and how to tell whether your loss is concentrated or spread
— Cliff or slope, the Manual Actions report, and where Google tells you whether an update rolled out that week
— The caveat (you'll just have to listen to find that out)
I also give you a proper piece of homework. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind. One sentence with the blanks filled in, and if you can write it, you'll walk into your next SEO conversation knowing more than the person who's meant to be explaining it to you.
If you know someone who's currently panicking at a graph, or about to sack their SEO over some August stats, send them this. It might save somebody's job.
Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. And check the calendar before you check the algorithm.
Chapters:
00:00 — Traffic's down. Is it your SEO?
01:04 — Traffic is three things multiplied together
01:57 — Cause 1: fewer people are searching
03:03 — Cause 2: the results page changed shape
04:04 — Cause 3: your rankings actually dropped
04:39 — Cause 4: your measurement's broken
05:37 — The 20-minute diagnosis
05:53 — Step 1: compare year-on-year, not month-on-month
06:31 — Step 2: clicks, impressions and position, separately
06:56 — Step 3: ignore average position
07:17 — Step 4: is the loss concentrated or spread?
07:43 — Step 5: cliff or slope?
08:08 — Step 6: did it happen to everybody?
08:26 — The caveat
08:48 — Homework: write one sentence
09:53 — Sacked over some August stats
Links mentioned:
Non-Wanky SEO Courses (the On-Page SEO Toolkit is now free): https://nonwankyseo.com (https://nonwankyseo.com)
Episode 19, setting up Google Search Console: https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/seo-ranking-starts-with-proper-website-structure (https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/seo-ranking-starts-with-proper-website-structure)
Google Search Console: https://search.google.com/search-console (https://search.google.com/search-console)
Google Search Status Dashboard (where Google confirms ranking updates): https://status.search.google.com/ (https://status.search.google.com/)
Follow Nikki:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ (https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/)
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social (https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social)
Mentioned in this episode:
ICN Network
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