The private diary of Australia's Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese. Leaked weekly. Read by the man himself. (Not really.) <br/><br/><a href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">rupertdegas.substack.com</a>
The Albo Diaries
Claim This Podcastby Rupert Degas
23 episodes
Updated Daily
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Podcast Overview
The private diary of Australia's Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese. Leaked weekly. Read by the man himself. (Not really.) <br/><br/><a href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">rupertdegas.substack.com</a>
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
3/9/2026
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Recent Episodes
August 17, 2026
The Albo Diaries - Week 24
<p>"I did a thing. With my hands."</p><p>Last Thursday night the Prime Minister of Australia rang the President of the United States. No recording was released. No transcript. The White House confirmed the call happened and then said nothing else at all.</p><p>This week, the diary is the phone call.</p><p>The melons. Kylie. Pauline. The women who went out for him. And the reason the tariff isn't moving.</p><p>He was told exactly what was wrong with him. He heard something else.</p><p><strong>No ads, no sponsors, no editor, no boss. Support the work </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://ko-fi.com/rupertdegas"><strong>here</strong></a><strong> or upgrade to </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe"><strong>paid</strong></a><strong> to keep it that way. Cheers.</strong></p><p>The Albo Diaries is written and performed by Rupert Degas. Satire. Published every Tuesday, 8am. Also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.</p><p></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Rupert Degas at <a href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe</a>
August 10, 2026
The Albo Diaries - Week 23
<p>"I wish there was a box for I'd rather everyone kept liking me."</p><p>The Prime Minister is on leave, in an undisclosed part of Australia, in and an old Midnight Oils t-shirt. The country is filling in the census. So is he.</p><p>This week: a jigsaw somebody else gave up on. Richard Marles telling the radio he probably deserves a break. Sixteen digits and a nine-character password. The religion box. The ancestry box. The gender box. One usual address, singular. And a Prime Minister who assured everyone their data was safe, right up until someone explained where the servers are.</p><p>Written and performed by Rupert Degas.</p><p><strong>New episode every Tuesday, 8am. Free on Substack, Apple Podcasts and Spotify.</strong></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Rupert Degas at <a href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe</a>
August 3, 2026
The Albo Diaries - Week 22
<p>The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his ‘legacy document’. You are not supposed to be reading this. His office describes it as “a fabrication.” But to be fair, his office describes most things as a fabrication, so make of that what you will.</p><p>Dear Diary. I’ve been doing sums. Counting. Four hours. Call it four, it was more like three and a half with the cars. And the number they’re printing is a million. Which comes out at $250,000 an hour. Which is the first positive number anyone’s put on me since August.</p><p>Two years going down in the polls. Two years of Jim turning the laptop round. And then a twenty-five-year-old I’d never met before puts seven figures on one evening. That’s not corruption. That’s the market correcting.</p><p>Look, I didn’t take anything. That’s the bit none of them can hold in their heads. I’ve never taken a dollar in my life. The Party takes. The Party has a secretariat, and a form and a return, and the money goes in one end as money and comes out the other end as a process. I was in a room. Rooms aren’t donations.</p><p>I was put in that room the way a fridge gets delivered. Two blokes, a diagram, nobody speaks to you.</p><p>The bloke who used to run the corporate regulator was there. So it can’t have been improper. He’d have said something.</p><p>The bloke from the Commonwealth Bank was there too. Which I’d have thought settles it. Nobody’s ever been bought by a bank. They’re regulated.</p><p>Angus wants the money given back, which tells you he’s never once worked out where money actually goes. It doesn’t sit in a drawer, Angus. It gets routed.</p><p>And Pauline is a different thing entirely and I’m tired of explaining it. Gina bought Pauline. Bought her, flew her, sat her in the front row in Italy. Nobody bought me.</p><p>I was allocated.</p><p>Told Jodie the number in the car. She asked what they got for it. I said they got me. Nothing else from her the whole way over the Bridge, which in our house is a whole conversation.</p><p>Geoff says stop doing the division. Geoff says if anyone ever hears me doing the division we’re finished. I told him finished is minus eighteen. Finished is the current settings.</p><p>Forty years I’ve been at this. Forty years of branches and numbers and rooms above pubs. And the biggest figure anyone’s ever attached to my name arrived in a single night, from a bloke who was born after I’d already been in Parliament for years.</p><p>I got the Comté out. The French one. With the accent on it.</p><p>I worked out it’s $9 a hundred grams.</p><p>I worked out I’m $250k an hour.</p><p>I sat there at half eleven with a knife in my hand doing sums about cheese.</p><p>That is the system working, and that’s important.</p><p>I remain, as always, on the right side of history. History has not yet confirmed this. But it will.</p><p><strong>No ads, no sponsors, no editor, no boss. Support the work </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://ko-fi.com/rupertdegas"><strong>here</strong></a><strong> or upgrade to </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe"><strong>paid</strong></a><strong> to keep it that way. Cheers.</strong></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Rupert Degas at <a href="https://rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe</a>
23 total episodes available
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