Unraveling Me

About Unraveling Me

Join host Kara Rubinstein Deyerin as she speaks with people who, like her, are impacted by NPE's (non-parental events), DNA surprises, adoption, assisted reproduction, or other unexpected information bombs that reveal the truth about who they are and their family relationships and secrets. As anyone who's ever experienced such an event can tell you, it separates you from you. From knowing your own story. In "Unraveling Me", Kara explores the myriad ways why knowing the truth about who you are and who your family is matters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

Publisher

Kara Rubinstein-Deyerin & Alan Katz

Category

health & fitness · society & culture · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

5 Nov 2025

Latest episode

15 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

52 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   15 Oct 2026

   S1E50 Unraveling Corey & Kendall

   S1 E50 - Unraveling Corey & Kendall Kendall always knew he was adopted. His parents welcomed his questions, and when his adoptive mother died, his father showed him the name he’d been given at birth. Kendall was ten. He searched through phone books, library records, and adoption registries, and petitioned the court three times for his sealed records. Years of dead ends left him believing he might never find his genetic family. Then his husband, Corey, gave him an Ancestry DNA test. Kendall’s closest match was a brother who had been searching for him, too. That connection led to six siblings and two very different experiences of reunion: a warm welcome from one side and something much more complicated with the other. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara, Corey, and Kendall discuss: Growing up with adoptive parents who supported Kendall’s curiosity Searching for family before DNA testing made close matches possible The phone call that introduced Kendall to his brother Chris Finding connection with siblings while respecting the relationships each person is ready to have How Corey supported Kendall through the search and reunion Why they created Family Twist and the community they found through sharing stories Kendall and Corey speak candidly about joy, rejection, lost time, and the family they have built together. Their story holds room for all of it. Corey serves on Right to Know’s board. For more from Corey and Kendall, listen to their podcast Family Twist. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/. (https://righttoknow.us/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

2. 

   8 Oct 2026

   S1E49 Unraveling Stephanie

   S1 E49 - Unraveling Stephanie Stephanie’s story is about what happens when a lifelong search for roots finally begins. It is also a reminder that success does not always mean finding every answer. Sometimes it means discovering where you come from, building relationships along the way, and finding the courage to keep searching. Stephanie was adopted at three years old from a Mother Teresa orphanage in India and raised in a white Catholic family on Long Island. She always knew she was adopted, but for most of her life, she gave little thought to the identity, culture, and history she had lost. That changed when her husband gave her a DNA test. Stephanie’s limited paperwork said she was born in Patna in northern India, but her DNA matches pointed toward Kerala and the Malayali community in southern India. She also learned that the birthday she had celebrated for nearly 50 years was not her actual birthday. Suddenly, even the most basic facts she thought she knew about herself were uncertain. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Stephanie talk about: Growing up as the only Indian person in nearly every room, including her own home Searching for other Indian adoptees and finding community through conferences Discovering that her adoption paperwork and DNA tell different stories Connecting with genetic relatives without yet knowing how they all fit together Returning to the orphanage where she lived and confronting the life she might have had The pressure adoptees face to feel grateful Why love does not erase an adoptee’s need for identity, history, and genetic connection Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/. (https://righttoknow.us/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

3. 

   1 Oct 2026

   S1E48 Unraveling Thomas J

   S1 E48 Unraveling Tom J Tom Junod has spent much of his career investigating other people’s lives. His profile of Fred Rogers inspired the film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and his essay The Falling Man became one of the most recognized pieces of writing about 9/11. But in his memoir, In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man, Tom turns that investigative lens on his own family. Tom grew up loving and fearing his father, Big Lou: a charismatic, stylish, larger-than-life man who treated masculinity as something to be performed. From a young age, Tom sensed that things in his family were not quite what they seemed. When he finally began investigating his father’s past, one revelation led to another: hidden relationships, misattributed parentage, unknown relatives, and a family history that looked nothing like the one he had inherited. SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Tom discuss: Loving and fearing a larger-than-life father—and struggling with whether to become like him or reject his example How Big Lou’s ideas about sex, appearance, and masculinity shaped Tom’s childhood Finding a path toward his own identity through writing Watching the family history he had always accepted as fact unravel one discovery at a time What DNA revealed about misattributed parentage across multiple generations His father’s refusal to acknowledge an unknown sister—and Tom’s determination to find his own Recognizing something familiar in his half-sister Lizzie before DNA confirmed the connection Navigating gatekeeping, uncertainty, and the decision to make contact Why a difficult truth can sometimes bring relief Bringing Big Lou’s descendants together at a family reunion How uncovering the truth can become an act of assembly rather than destruction Tom’s story is about fathers and sons, inherited definitions of manhood, and the secrets that shape families long after the people who created them are gone. It is also about what can happen when someone refuses to leave the truth buried—and discovers that unraveling an old family story can create space to build something more honest, connected, and whole. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/. (https://righttoknow.us/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.7 / 5

19 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

5 ratings

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Books guests

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