Join host Kara Rubinstein Deyerin as she speaks with people who, like her, are impacted by NPE's (non-parental events), DNA surprises, adoption, assisted reproduction, or other unexpected information bombs that reveal the truth about who they are and their family relationships and secrets. As anyone who's ever experienced such an event can tell you, it separates you from you. From knowing your own story. In "Unraveling Me", Kara explores the myriad ways why knowing the truth about who you are and who your family is matters.<hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>

Unraveling Me
Claim This Podcastby Kara Rubinstein-Deyerin & Alan Katz
Podcast Overview
Join host Kara Rubinstein Deyerin as she speaks with people who, like her, are impacted by NPE's (non-parental events), DNA surprises, adoption, assisted reproduction, or other unexpected information bombs that reveal the truth about who they are and their family relationships and secrets. As anyone who's ever experienced such an event can tell you, it separates you from you. From knowing your own story. In "Unraveling Me", Kara explores the myriad ways why knowing the truth about who you are and who your family is matters.<hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
11/5/2025
1 verified contact email on file for Unraveling Me
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Recent Episodes

July 2, 2026
S1E35 Unraveling Michelle S
<p><strong>S1 E 35 Unraveling Micelle S - </strong>Michelle’s story is layered, funny, honest, and full of hard-earned wisdom. She shows us that adoption is not a single event, but something that shapes a person across a lifetime—in identity, relationships, parenting, advocacy, and healing. Michelle grew up knowing she was adopted, and by many measures, she had what people often call a “good adoption.” She was loved, cared for, and raised by parents who told her the truth from the beginning. But as Michelle’s story reminds us, even a good adoption does not erase the trauma of separation, the ache of missing genetic mirrors, or the lifelong work of figuring out where you belong.</p><br><p>A Baby Scoop Era adoptee, Michelle was five days old when she was brought home by her raising parents. Adoption was known in her family, but not always easy to talk about. Beneath the surface, Michelle carried a deep fear of hurting or disappointing the parents who raised her, especially her mother, whose own unresolved grief shaped much of Michelle’s experience.</p><br><p><u>SHOW NOTES</u></p><p>In this conversation, Kara and Michelle discuss:</p><ul><li>Growing up adopted while sensing there were still emotional limits around the topic</li><li>What it means to have a “good adoption” and still be deeply affected by adoption</li><li>Feeling othered in childhood, even in small everyday moments</li><li>The pressure to protect a raising parent’s feelings</li><li>Meeting her husband, who was also adopted, and building a family together</li><li>The experience of genetic mirroring when their first child was born</li><li>Holding relationships with genetic family while managing fear, obligation, and guilt</li><li>Advocating for adoptee rights and helping change law around original birth certificates</li><li>Child welfare reform, Safe Haven baby boxes, and the need for child-centered policy</li></ul><p><br></p><p>This episode is about reunion, boundaries, genetic identity, and the courage it takes to stop carrying emotions that were never yours to manage. It is also a reminder that love and loss can exist in the same story, and that truth becomes easier to hold when we finally make room for all of it.</p><br><p>Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.</p><br><p>At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.</p><br><p>For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at <a href="https://righttoknow.us/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://righttoknow.us/</a>.</p><br><p><br></p><br><p><br></p><p><br></p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>

June 25, 2026
S1E34 Unraveling Jennie
<p><strong>S1 E34 Unraveling Jennie - </strong>Jennie’s story is about more than a DNA test. It is about secrecy, loyalty, medical truth, sibling connection, and the complicated grief of realizing that the people who loved you also kept something essential from you. Jennie took a DNA test because she wanted to know more about her father’s side of the family. Her dad had died of cancer when she was 23, and with her mother’s genealogy already carefully documented, Jennie hoped 23andMe would help fill in the missing pieces. But when her results came back, Jennie found multiple half-siblings she did not recognize. What began as curiosity quickly became a life-changing discovery.</p><br><p><u>SHOW NOTES</u></p><p>In this conversation, Kara and Jennie discuss:</p><ul><li>Taking a DNA test for ancestry and discovering unexpected half-siblings</li><li>Her mother’s warning not to test and the missed chance to tell the truth first</li><li>Re-examining childhood memories, family photos, and old questions through a new lens</li><li>The grief of realizing her dad chose to be her father, but never got to share that truth openly</li><li>The medical consequences of being given incorrect family health history</li><li>Reaching out to a donor who refuses contact</li><li>Building relationships with donor-conceived siblings and finding genetic mirroring later in life</li><li>Talking openly with her own children so secrecy stops with this generation</li></ul><p><br></p><p>Jennie's story reminds us that there is nothing shameful about donor conception. The harm comes from silence. And sometimes healing begins when one generation finally decides: the secret stops here.</p><br><p>Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.</p><br><p>At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.</p><br><p>For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at <a href="https://righttoknow.us/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://righttoknow.us/</a>.</p><br><p><br></p><br><p><br></p><p><br></p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>

June 18, 2026
S1E33 Unraveling Joesph & Charity
<p><strong>S1E33 Unraveling Joseph & Charity</strong> - Charity spent most of her life believing a painful story about her origins. Raised by her maternal grandparents after the death of her mother, she endured a childhood marked by abuse, silence, and the belief that searching for her father would only uncover more pain. For years, she was told she was conceived through violence and taught not to ask questions. After becoming a mother herself, Charity decided she no longer wanted fear, secrecy, and generational trauma passed down to her own children. A DNA test—and the courage to finally open the results—led her to Joseph.</p><br><p>What followed was not the story she had been told. </p><br><p><u>SHOW NOTES</u></p><p>In this deeply emotional and hopeful conversation, Kara, Charity, and Joseph discuss:</p><ul><li>Growing up under the weight of family secrecy and emotional manipulation</li><li>The impact of childhood abuse, silence, and being taught not to search</li><li>Using DNA testing, genealogy groups, and DNAngels to uncover the truth</li><li>Joseph learning decades later that he had a daughter</li><li>Navigating reunion while honoring existing family relationships</li><li>The importance of grace, patience, and moving slowly through reunion</li><li>Genetic mirroring, shared traits, and finally seeing yourself reflected in someone else</li><li>Breaking cycles of silence and trauma for the next generation</li></ul><p><br></p><p>Charity and Joseph’s story is about far more than finding family. It is about reclaiming truth after years of fear, learning to trust connection after surviving harm, and choosing healing over bitterness. Their reunion is honest, imperfect, hopeful, and deeply human. Together, they remind us that family stories are often more complicated than we are told and that sometimes the truth waiting on the other side is far gentler than the fear that kept us from searching.</p><br><p>Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.</p><br><p>At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.</p><br><p>For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at <a href="https://righttoknow.us/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://righttoknow.us/</a>.</p><p><br></p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
37 total episodes available
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