Victors in Grad School

About Victors in Grad School

Victors in Grad School explores what you can do to find success in your own graduate school journey no matter what you plan to do. Through experts and individual interviews you will be introduced to what it means to find success and tips on achieving success in graduate school.

Publisher

Dr. Christopher Lewis

Category

education · education

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

9 Aug 2022

Latest episode

19 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

219 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   19 Oct 2026

   From Military Service to Pharmacy Leader: Tim Ekola's Path to Graduate Success

   On the latest episode of "Victors in Grad School," Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomes Tim Ekola, a pharmacist and accomplished leader, to share his inspiring journey through military service, pharmacy, and graduate education. Their conversation unpacks the evolving path of a lifelong learner, the power of relationships, and actionable advice for anyone considering the next step in their academic or professional journey. Embracing the Educational Journey Dr. Christopher Lewis opens the episode by acknowledging that everyone's educational journey is unique, filled with transitions and decisions that shape future success. Tim Ekola exemplifies this, having moved from military service to undergraduate studies, and eventually earning both a PharmD and an MBA. This nonlinear path serves as a powerful reminder that learning never really ends and it's never too late to pursue further education. Recognizing the Need for Growth Throughout his career, Tim Ekola noticed that progressing into leadership demanded more than clinical pharmacy skills—it required a broader understanding of management, finance, and organizational development. This realization prompted him to seek graduate programs that would equip him with the necessary tools to lead effectively. By emphasizing the importance of self-assessment and readiness to grow, the conversation encourages listeners to reflect on their own career needs and aspirations. Finding the Right Fit Selecting the right graduate program is crucial, and Tim Ekela shares his approach of evaluating options that align with a busy professional life. He highlights the importance of flexibility, supportive faculty, and a diverse peer group, praising the University of Michigan-Flint's MBA program for its blend of in-person and online opportunities and the varied professional backgrounds of his classmates. These factors contributed not only to his academic success but also enriched his experience, underscoring the value of environment and community. The Power of Relationships A significant theme is the importance of building relationships with peers, faculty, and mentors. Tim Ekola emphasizes that relationships are often more valuable than credentials alone when it comes to career advancement and personal fulfillment. The bonds he formed during graduate school continue to support him professionally and personally, offering opportunities and friendships that extend well beyond graduation. Advice for Aspiring Graduate Students The episode closes with practical advice for anyone considering graduate school: have honest conversations with family and employers, prepare financially, develop strong time-management skills, and persevere even when the workload feels overwhelming. Above all, building a supportive network is key. Ready for More? If you're contemplating graduate school or searching for inspiration to take the next step, this episode delivers honest insights and encouragement. Hear more about Tim Ekola's journey and get actionable tips by tuning in to this episode of "Victors in Grad School." Don't miss out on the wisdom that could shape your future! TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:01]: Welcome to Victors in Grad School, where we have conversations with students, alumni, and experts about what it takes to find success in graduate school. Welcome back to Victors in Grad School. I'm your host, Dr. Christopher Lewis, Director of Graduate Programs at the University of Michigan Flint. Really excited to have you back again this week. And as always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. I call it a journey because it truly is a journey, because every person goes on a different path. To their education, to their future education. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:32]: And no matter where you are right now, you are on a journey to your future. And that's why you're here, because for you, you have decided that at some point in the future that you have an interest in continuing your education. This show is here to be able to help you, to be able to give you some hints, some tips, some tricks, some things that can help you in that journey to help you find success in graduate school. So whether you are at the very beginning and just starting to think about this, whether you've already applied, maybe you've already heard and gotten that admission decision, maybe you're in graduate school, doesn't matter. There are things that you can do right now as you are preparing, as you are getting ready, as you're going through graduate school to continue and have success in this journey that you're on. Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can help you to be able to see what they had to do in that journey to be able to find success for themselves. Today, I'm really excited to be able to have Tim Ekola with us today. And Tim is a pharmacist, but he also has had many different things that he has done over his life. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:37]: And I am really excited to be able to have him here to talk about his own journey in getting his education to share that with you. Tim, thanks so much for being here today. Tim Ekola [00:01:47]: Absolutely. My pleasure. Thanks, Chris. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:48]: Well, I'm really excited to be able to talk to you today. And I know that for you, you went to high school, but then after high school, you went into the military and you you served in the military for many years, and then decided that you were going to go and get that bachelor's degree. And you ended up getting a bachelor's and a doctorate degree at the same time, going and getting the pharmacy degree, and going to 2 different schools to ultimately get that. And then you went off and worked. And like many people, over the years, you used that pharmacy degree, you worked at many places, you also continued to serve in the military and worked in pharmacy there as well. And At some point in this professional journey that you went on, you found that you weren't done and that you wanted to continue your education. Bring me back to that point in your professional life. What was going through your head and what made you decide that you weren't done and that you wanted to continue your education? Tim Ekola [00:02:48]: That's a wonderful question. So as my career progressed, both in my profession as a pharmacist, as a clinical pharmacist, and working in hospitals for the most of my career, it mirrored actually my Navy Reserve career as I was progressing in leadership positions. And there are certainly many opportunities within the military and other, other volunteer organizations to gain leadership skills and put them into action. And so as I was gaining leadership responsibilities in the military, I found myself with the similar opportunities within my profession where I became a director of pharmacy at a small critical access hospital in Dowagiac, Michigan. Small hospital, 20-bed hospital. Didn't have my doctor of pharmacy at that point in time, but that was And so, as I moved on, I quickly understood that moving from a clinical role, understanding medications, evidence-based medicine, working with patients, was not the same as leading a department, as interacting with other healthcare professionals to run that department. And so, at that point, I did decide I was going to get a Master's of Public Health. As what happened, I actually, at Western Michigan, accepted that, and I then got notification that our unit was being deployed. Tim Ekola [00:04:06]: deployed to Germany. So for a year, we went over and supported the mission at Landstuhl Army Hospital as a Navy group. And but I never lost that understanding that I needed something else. And so after that mission was done, during that time, I actually stayed another 5 years as a civilian pharmacist doing medication safety for the Army. And I got my Doctor of Pharmacy degree during that time. Then we came back to Michigan in 2013, where I landed a position as Director of Pharmacy at Sparrow Hospital in Lansing, Michigan. Again, not having a graduate degree in business, but certainly understanding that it was a larger complex, obviously, than a small critical access hospital. And it was during that time that I knew that I needed to not just understand how the pharmacy runs, but I need to understand the big picture, the strategy. Tim Ekola [00:04:55]: I had to understand organizational development, to culture, to relationships with people, the HR side, the finance and budget, where my boss— I reported to the VP of admin. And, you know, There were some tough questions and I had help along the way, but I just, at that point, I knew I needed an opportunity to excel and sharpen the tools in my— and add some tools to my toolbox that I'd not had before. And that was kind of a turning point. And so I looked around and found that University of Michigan Flint certainly offered a working professional those opportunities. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:35]: Now you have 2 graduate degrees. So you went, you got a bachelor's in pharmacy, and then as you said, you went, you served, ended up continuing and getting the PharmD and then going and getting the MBA. And when you made the choice to go and get the PharmD, as well as getting the choice— making the choice to go and get an MBA, you had to do your research. You had to look and figure out, you know, what is the right program? What were you looking for? You know, what did you want out of these programs? I guess as you think back and you think back to that, search and that exploration that you went through yourself. Talk to me about what you were looking for, what ultimately made you choose first Shenandoah University for your PharmD degree, but then, as you mentioned, then the University of Michigan Flint for your MBA. Tim Ekola [00:06:26]: Yeah, many similarities between both decisions, and you're absolutely right, I did look at many different options. In the early 2000s, there were— mid to late 2000s, exactly— there were many opportunities for post-baccalaureate Doctor of Pharmacy programs. And Shenandoah, where I was in my life, I had children in high school, and boy does life get busy then. I was working, I had volunteer obligations that I do outside of that, so I needed a good balance. I needed both online support, but I also to be able to be with people. So I actually did that while I was in Germany and flew back to Winchester, Virginia several times to do some hands-on face-to-face face-to-face, but they were really accommodating. I had a great relationship with the dean of the pharmacy school there. His father actually was a physician at Lawnstool Army Hospital in the '60s and '70s, so we kind of hit it off. Tim Ekola [00:07:25]: Similarly, as I was moving into looking at university for an MBA, I looked at various programs that would meet a working professional now with higher obligations as a director of pharmacy at a major trauma center in the center of Lansing. kids in college, a new family with younger kids coming along. So all those obligations were still there. And what, what University of Michigan Flint offered that I didn't see from other programs was that ability to again have that work-life-school balance. But what I really liked was it's different from the Doctor of Pharmacy. We were all pharmacists going back to get— and many of us practiced for many, many years. What I found at U of M Flint was it wasn't all medical. Even though my MBA was in healthcare, I had automotive engineers from Ford and General Motors. Tim Ekola [00:08:16]: And so I got a new perspective 'cause you work in teams in many of these classes on projects. And I formed bonds and relationships that have carried on beyond that. Somebody might be strong in statistics, somebody might be strong in word writing, but you would learn to work together to get that project done, which actually was not new to me because having worked in the workplace for 20 years, I know that teamwork and strength, using the strength of the team is the best way to get things done. But I think I know that Michigan Definitely helped me see that clearer. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:47]: Now, whenever I talk to individuals that have gone to graduate school, and as I said, you've gone to 2 different ones, you have to make transitions and you go through a transition from undergrad to your graduate program. For you, you know, you went from military to undergrad to work to back to grad school, to work, back to grad school. So you did a number of transitions throughout your professional and personal life. And as you go into those different types of education, you have to understand more about the rules, the unspoken rules, the real rules. You have to understand what is— what are the expectations, and you have to adapt to what those different situations were. And you were successful in those transitions for yourself. Talk to me about in those transitions that you went through for your PharmD, for your MBA, What did you have to do as you were transitioning into those different educational environments? And what did you have to do throughout the educational experience to maintain your success throughout the entire program? Tim Ekola [00:09:53]: Well, it's definitely about balance, and it is utilizing the resources and the support you have around you through your fellow classmates to even the professors, the instructors in those classes. What I liked about both programs is they were, though, especially University of Michigan, University of Michigan Flint, larger academic universities, universities, I didn't feel like I was swallowed up in a big chasm of academia. I got to know the professors who were very supportive of me and all of the students. And so that was one thing that really helped move the process through. I— one of the things I look back on as my interesting career path and choice of when I got degrees was I read a letter back in the day. We had newspapers. with in print. And there was a strip from Ann Landers. Tim Ekola [00:10:42]: She would— it was, uh, ask her a question. And somebody said, hey, I'm 34, I want to go back to school and become a physician, but that's going to take 8 years. And she said, what are you going to be doing in 8 years anyway? So every time I made the decision down the path of my career to go back to school, to get a bachelor's, to get a doctor of pharmacy, to get an MBA, I thought, well, what am I going to be doing in 2 or 3 years anyway? Let me make use of this time and my opportunities to do that. The interesting thing I think about how I took my journey was I started out as a hospital corpsman in the Navy and a pharmacy technician and, and knew when I joined the Navy that I was going to go to college. That's why I joined the military, was put money aside with the GI Bill to be able to go back and get a degree. I didn't know at the time what I wanted to do. And so watching the pharmacists work and having worked with them closely over the years and having great mentors and support along the way, that's when I decided to go to Ferris State when I got off active duty and went into the reserves. And so So a lot of the information I learned, and this happened repeatedly with the next 2 degrees, was things that I knew and I could apply while I was actually working, right? So I was still working actively as a pharmacy technician and an intern, pharmacy intern later, and I could apply those pharmacy skills then. Tim Ekola [00:11:59]: Didn't say I knew everything. There was still much more to learn. And then as a practicing pharmacist for almost a decade, working in clinical environments like the OR and medical surgical floors and ICU, I went back and got my Doctor of Pharmacy. And working at the same time utilizing what I was learning during that couple-year period, but also adding new things to my toolbox. And as I've mentioned, I was already in management before I went back to get my MBA, but I could utilize budget strategies, long-term forecasting for, for strategies as I was doing this, and I would bring that back to my day-to-day work, which was so very very beneficial. I learned more about the lean process and black belt. I'm certified lean black belt, so understanding the flow. But when I took some of those classes at U of M Flint, that brought it even to greater light of how to watch transport and decrease certain areas that are going to slow you down. Tim Ekola [00:13:01]: It really benefited me as I was going through that program. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:04]: Now, you mentioned the fact You also looked at an MPH, you looked, and then you decided on an MBA. As you look back now, since you've gotten that MBA degree, and you, if you had to do it all over again, would you choose the same program or path? Why or why not? Tim Ekola [00:13:20]: So I was sidetracked. I was going to get my MPH before the PharmD, but then I really knew that there was, when I had the opportunity to get the PharmD through Shenandoah, I was like, this is going to open doors for me. I am happy every time. I was happy in the job that I had and what I was doing. And I thought, I want to be able to choose my next career progression if I want to do it. And in the pharmacy profession, a doctor of pharmacy opens doors. And it certainly allowed me to come back and be competitive when we left Germany to have this position as a director of pharmacy. And then going from Sparrow to the VA Ann Arbor, which is a much larger complex, I went from having 80 full-time employees to 150 to 160 managing operational and clinical. Tim Ekola [00:14:08]: knew while I was at Sparrow, I didn't know I was happy with my job at Sparrow, but I went, you know, I'm young. I was 50. I still have opportunities to do bigger things and work at a larger complex thing, but I need something that one differentiates me and one makes me again have sharpened some of the tools in my toolbox and have additional tools. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:26]: And I'm confident because of that MBA and the reason I chose an MBA versus going back for something as narrow as public health, or there's a master's in pharmacy, it also opens doors in healthcare administration outside of the pharmacy Now, earlier you mentioned that one of the things that you had to do as you were transitioning in and through to find success was find that balance for yourself, because you said that, you know, you had kids in high school, that you were dealing with volunteering and work and all kinds of life issues. And a lot of times people have that same situation happening for themselves. Talk to me about balance. And what did you have to do to be able to find that balance in school, work, family, personal responsibilities? Well, I think while you were in graduate school and what you had to adjust as you were going through to be able to maintain that. Tim Ekola [00:15:18]: So support at home is very important. And I have a loving wife who encouraged and supported me along those journeys and really understood the importance for me as an individual to be whole, for us to be whole. So I think that's first and foremost is you have to have that converse, real conversation with your family about what this is going to do for the next couple of years to the things that you may have been able to spend time with them before. Now you have to figure out how to maybe do that a little differently. And in my case, the children were getting older, they were starting to drive. So some of those commitments of taking Sally here and Bobby there were gone because we didn't have that. So that also timing was important for me to know that I couldn't have done it when they were in elementary or junior high. But the high school years certainly lent itself to that opportunity. Tim Ekola [00:16:08]: You also have to kind of look The volunteer things you do. I do community theater. I'm active with the Scouting America program. I had to back down on some of my commitments there. Didn't go away, but just have honest conversations with the folks that I'd built relationships outside of my professional family life to go, look, I'm doing this to make me a stronger individual, and it will not just benefit me, but in my profession. But as I come back into Scouting in America per se, I'm currently the council president for the Michigan Crossroads Council. And when I was asked for the role, I said, I thought you were looking for business leaders in the state. And they said, Tim, you are. Tim Ekola [00:16:50]: You've got an MBA. You're a retired lieutenant commander from the Navy. You've led people. You know how to lead and do things. And I know the MBA was certainly a big part of that. And it's so— it brings it back tenfold when you do a sacrifice for a couple of years. I look back, that time flew like that. The first couple of months, The first year you're like— and I've told my children this, that they've gone through college— yet the first year feels like it's going to be forever, but you'll get to that halfway point and the next thing you know you are walking across the stage and getting that diploma. Tim Ekola [00:17:19]: And that's exactly what happened both with the Doctor of Pharmacy and my MBA. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:22]: Now you mentioned also that one of the things that you really liked about your programs was the fact that you had peers that you were connecting with, and building those relationships is always important in a graduate program. Talk to me about those relationships and what you had to do to be able to those important relationships that you mentioned to— with your peers, with faculty, and what that has done for you, not only through the program but beyond the program, to allow for you to be successful not only through the program but in your career. Tim Ekola [00:17:54]: Well, degrees are important to a degree, so to speak, but relationships are really what will help you succeed in life, whether it's, again, personal or professional. And I found I learned early on, even before going to both of those graduate programs, that early on, that building those relationships, understanding who is there to support you and you can support along the way, is going to get you much farther in life than having several initials after the end of your name. We've told our children, it's not always about what you know, it's who you know. And I don't mean that like in the sense that you have to buddy-buddy with people, but building relationships and showing, working with people And fellow classmates and professors and showing your initiative and your ability to get things done pays dividends when you get the call for, hey, we have a job opening and we'd like you to come talk to us, versus you trying to find a job. I think both my wife and I have mentioned that through our career, we probably had more job opportunities for advancement come to us because of those relationships we've built, where people reached out to us and said, you know what, you should really apply. We'd like you to do this. That. And whether it's a professor who recognizes that, and they obviously have many, many contacts throughout their career, both students and other professionals. Tim Ekola [00:19:15]: One of my professors, and forgive me, I forget his name, but he was the CEO of a hospital in Southeast Michigan, Southwest Michigan. And so to get his perspective on the big picture of healthcare in America, which was kind of the, the subject of, of the class, but also key I mean, it's a small world out there. It's a small healthcare world. It's a small military world, a small business world. And word of mouth can make or break an individual. And so relationships are so very important. So how do you develop those? At U of M Flint, we had breakfast in the morning before you go to class and there's a lunchtime opportunity. So you sit in those people that you're doing projects with, you get to know them. Tim Ekola [00:19:57]: You talk about their personal life. They, you know, their children's name, you know what the interests are outside of getting this degree. And I will tell you, there's an individual lives in Fowlerville. He is a former Marine. I was a former corpsman with the Marines. We hit it off tremendously. He works for Consumers Power. We go to U of M and Michigan State games and tailgate together. Tim Ekola [00:20:18]: I've been to his birthday party. He opened a business and I came to help support that beyond my graduation from that program in 2018. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:25]: As you look back to your graduate school experiences, they're the 2 that you've had. What would you say were the 2 most valuable things you learned outside of the classroom during graduate school? Tim Ekola [00:20:37]: I think I've kind of touched on that with the relationships that you build with people. I think that is key, and it was just cemented more into my thinking and view of working and being a member of the community, how important that is to be part of a community, to build those relationships. And I think the big part is the education is very important, right? Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:58]: You— Tim Ekola [00:20:58]: those are skills that help us again understand better, more efficient ways to get things done that we need to get done in our profession. But beyond that, it's how we utilize those other soft skills that are developed during that process of both of those degree programs. Again, building relationships, being part of a community, coming back and wherever your community is, understanding that it is to be a well-rounded person. We are doing more than just, in my profession, licking and sticking and pouring and counting out tablets. We are advocates for patient healthcare throughout the state. But that can be done through a myriad of other organizations. Scouting does a lot of that. Rotary does a lot of that. Tim Ekola [00:21:44]: We have a lot of opportunities to expand that benefit that we got from going maybe to the graduate schools and giving back to our, our neighbors and, and others across the world where we can. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:56]: And finally, as you think back to your graduate school experiences, what are some tips that you might offer others considering graduate education that would help them find success sooner? Tim Ekola [00:22:05]: Yeah, I will reiterate, the first thing you need to do is have an honest conversation with your family, depending on where you are in your life, what that commitment means, and have their support. I did actually want to go back and get my doctor of pharmacy degree shortly after I got my bachelor's, and my children were much younger, and my wife said, listen, you can spend the next 4 years doing that, but you're going to miss a big portion of their life. So I put it on hold, rightfully so. So you have to find the right time for you. The other is having a good talk with your, your immediate workplace boss, as well as the You work with and let them know that you're interested in that. And do, do they have your support? There's the monetary side. How are you going to pay for this? Some organizations, consumers, and others will give you a stipend. I had GI Bill that helped me with my doctor of pharmacy degree. Tim Ekola [00:22:52]: So the financial part is important to make sure you have that in place before you set out on this journey. And just time management is key. If you're not good at that now, you will be by the time you're done because you're going to have to be. But persevere. How about that? I think the Finns— I'm Finnish, the last name's Ekala— have something called sisu, which is grit and perseverance. And there will be time when it's overwhelming, everything coming at you. You have a big paper due, you have work obligations. Persevere, use your time management skills appropriately, but then communicate. Tim Ekola [00:23:26]: Communicate with your professors, communicate with your work colleagues, communicate with your family and go, hey, I need need this to get this done. And people are good at heart and they understand, but you, you'll get it done. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:37]: Well, Tim, I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for being here today, for sharing your own journey, and I truly wish you all the best. Tim Ekola [00:23:44]: Appreciate it. Thank you, Dr. Lewis. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:46]: Today I'm really excited to be able to have Tim Ekola with us today, and Tim is a pharmacist. The University of Michigan Flint has a full array of master's and doctorate programs if you are interested in continuing your education. Whether you're looking for in-person or online learning options, the University of Michigan-Flint has programs that will meet your needs. For more information on any of our graduate programs, visit umflint.edu/graduateprograms to find out more. Thanks again for spending time with me as you prepare to be a Victor in grad school. I look forward to speaking with you again soon as we embark together on your graduate school journey. If you have any questions or want to reach out, email me at flintgradoffice@umflint.edu.

2. 

   12 Oct 2026

   Balance and Boundaries: Thriving in Graduate School

   Navigating graduate school is a rewarding but often challenging journey, filled with competing demands on your time, energy, and emotional wellness. In the episode "Finding Support and Setting Boundaries" from the Victors in Grad School podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis is joined by Reilly Chabie, a counselor and outreach coordinator with Counseling and Psychological Services at the University of Michigan Flint, to break down what it truly means to find balance and set effective boundaries as a grad student. Reilly Chabie brings her expertise and a compassionate approach to guide listeners through understanding the unique pressures faced during graduate studies. She introduces the concept of the 8 dimensions of wellness – a holistic framework that includes emotional, physical, financial, environmental, spiritual, and other domains – and emphasizes how each area shifts in importance depending on one's priorities. When one area falters, others can quickly follow, making self-awareness and attentiveness to balance absolutely vital. A central theme in this episode is the reality of imbalance and burnout. Reilly Chabie normalizes these experiences, discussing how burnout can affect not only our physical health but also our mental clarity, motivation, and relationships. She reminds us that recognizing the signs of burnout early is crucial to resetting and rediscovering a sustainable equilibrium. The heart of Reilly Chabie's message is actionable: cultivate self-compassion and understand that balance is not a one-size-fits-all process. She encourages listeners to use self-checks to measure where their balance lies and adapt accordingly. Through tools like the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method and the practice of radical acceptance, students can regain presence and reduce overwhelm. Setting boundaries, a pivotal skill discussed in detail, is positioned as an act of kindness both to oneself and to those around us. Reilly Chabie walks through practical steps: define your personal limits, communicate them clearly, and reinforce them consistently—whether with friends, professors, or even yourself. The message is empowering: it's OK to say no, and even more, it's necessary for long-term success and well-being. If you're embarking on or searching for ways to thrive in graduate school, this episode is packed with expert advice, relatable stories, and practical tools. Tune in to hear how Dr. Christopher Lewis and Reilly Chabie tackle common struggles and provide resources and reassurance to help you maintain your balance (and sanity!) throughout your academic journey. Ready to reclaim your grad school experience? Listen now to "Finding Support and Setting Boundaries" on Victors in Grad School. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:01]: Welcome to Victors in Grad School, where we have conversations with students, alumni, and experts about what it takes to find success in graduate school. Welcome everyone. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, Director of Graduate Programs here at the University of Michigan Flint. I am so excited to welcome you and to— I'm so excited for you to start your graduate school journey. Today we've got a really important topic, and I know I say that every time, but it is true. This is another really important topic. Today we have a new friend with us that is going to be talking about another important topic. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:37]: Reilly Chaby is with us, and Reilly is talking about the importance of finding support and setting boundaries. Where is that limit for yourself and being able to set those limits for you and for other people that know you? Because it's not just you. You have to be able to set the limits to be able to set those parameters for yourself to be able to be successful in graduate school. And Reilly's going to be talking to you about that. So I'm really excited to have her here. I'm gonna turn it over to her. Reilly, thanks so much for being here. Reilly Chabie [00:01:05]: Welcome in. I am grateful to be here. Thank you for the introduction, Dr. Lewis. As he mentioned, my name is Reilly Chaby. I am one of the CAPS counselors and the outreach coordinator for Counseling and Psychological Services. And as mentioned, I'm here to talk to you today about really finding that balance as you are a grad student here at U of M Flint, because we have a lot going on in our personal lives, in our work lives, in our school lives. So we're gonna talk a little bit about what to consider, how to notice when you feel out of balance in certain aspects, although I'm sure we already do to some respect. Reilly Chabie [00:01:39]: And I'm going to give you some tips and ideas on how you can kind of maintain that balance while you're here pursuing your degree. What I'm going to be talking to you about applies to all of our experiences. And the unique part about this is that we're going to talk about that individual experience, right? So I appreciate you interacting and kind of telling me a little bit about where you're at. And I'm hoping that Any part of this conversation today will be applicable to your experience. So quickly, I'm just going to kind of go over some of the things that we're going to talk about. So first and foremost, I'm going to do a little bit of an introduction on the 8 dimensions of wellness. This is a huge factor in U of M Flint's focus on health and utilize the 8 dimensions of wellness to really create and supplement the outreach events that we have and the things that are there for your use as you are part of this process. So I'm going to talk a little bit about that and how that applies to balance. Reilly Chabie [00:02:34]: We're going to talk about balance itself. What does that mean? What does it feel like to be unbalanced? Those types of things. And then we're going to talk a little bit about those tips and tricks as well. We're also going to shift into a particular type of approach that can really help in maintaining balance, and that's going to focus on boundaries. So what are boundaries, examples of boundaries, and tips on how we want to engage with those. And then in summary, we'll talk about just some general last thoughts, some resources on campus, and a couple of things that CAPS has going on that you might want to partake in as you start your journey here at U of M Flint. So getting started on the 8 dimensions of wellness, as you can see here, this is a very excellent depiction of the different areas that we can kind of break our wellness down into, right? So we have our emotional wellness, physical wellness, financial wellness. We're even considering environmental wellness, right? Spiritual wellness. Reilly Chabie [00:03:33]: And all of these different parts of the puzzle or slices of the pie, if you will, impact us differently depending on what area we feel like we want to move toward, or I guess better be better acquainted with, right? So for example, I might focus heavily on my emotional wellness, right? And that kind of makes sense as a clinician, I might be focused pretty heavily on that. But for some of you folks that are focused on starting your program you might focus on maybe your intellectual wellness, right? Maybe it's your financial wellness. We all kind of prioritize these different pieces in different ways. But what's really core to the 8 dimensions of wellness is that all of these parts serve the whole person. And what we tend to notice is that when one area of the dimensions of wellness is faltering or we're struggling to kind of maintain some consistency with it, we notice that other areas start to kind of stress and ultimately suffer as we try to navigate some of the other areas. Now, it's gonna be normal for our approach to focus in one area over the other, prioritize one area over the other, just depending on the situations that we have in life. But what's really kind of critical is we wanna be mindful of when we're giving too much attention in one place and how that ultimately is affecting the other areas of our wellness. Ultimately, as we kind of look through the rest of our conversation, you might, in the back of your head, start to think about, oh, as I'm, let's say, in October of my program, I'm realizing that my physical health and my wellness there is not doing it. Reilly Chabie [00:05:23]: I'm really struggling with this and I have had a hard time taking care of that, which ultimately might lead to challenges in, let's say, your intellectual or environmental health, depending on what we prioritize and what we need to focus on. So keep that in mind and kind of think about this wheel a little bit as we go through the rest of our, our conversation, simply because we want to make sure that you know what areas you want to focus on, and that will likely help you consider what resources on campus you'll likely want access to, or at least keep in mind as you keep moving forward. So Let's consider balance. As I mentioned, we talked a little bit about how those 8 dimensions of wellness, if we're paying attention to them and kind of engaging in them and moving toward them in some way, we're typically creating some sort of balance in the process. However, balance shifts. It can kind of go up and down. It just depends on what the situation is. But I want to take a second and I want you to think about The types of responsibilities and roles that you have in your life. Reilly Chabie [00:06:33]: Now, I'll point out a couple of basic ones. You're going to be a student. You're likely a friend. Maybe you're a significant other. Maybe you're an employee. There's lots of different roles that we take on. I don't know if other people have thoughts on their roles. I always like to mention that I'm a dog parent or I'm a cat parent. Reilly Chabie [00:06:52]: I can insert other various roles that are unique to my experience that I am regularly engaging in. That I regularly pay attention to and I try to prioritize. But if we take that into this context, all of those different roles require a certain amount of energy and focus and dedication, all of the responsibilities that fall underneath that. So as a dog parent, I'm likely, I gotta remember to buy food, I gotta feed him, I gotta walk him, I gotta do all of those things. So the role itself is just an umbrella concept, and then we have to lay out all of those different types of responsibilities. You might be thinking then, okay, so if I have all of those things that I am responsible for, I'm likely going to start to feel out of balance if I feel like certain responsibilities are kind of taking control over other responsibilities. So because we have all of these different roles going on, we might experience that imbalance. I am curious, and feel free to answer in the chat, but why do we think personally it's hard to manage and balance all of these different roles and responsibilities, even if we've been doing it for a really long time? What types of things might impact that? The responsibilities never stop, so we never feel like we're getting a break. Reilly Chabie [00:08:17]: We're feeling like there are certain things outside of our control that we can't really control, right? So that can ultimately impact that time. Absolutely. As a grad student myself, I remember I almost had zero time to do anything other than school half the time. Energy levels, absolutely. All of those things are going to be fluctuating as we take on these different responsibilities and as we try to adjust to this new role in our program. Some other things we might notice in terms of what we are struggling with in terms of balance is perhaps, but some of the things that we might experience might be that one of those roles or responsibilities are expecting too much, right? There is too much of a demand. There is too much of that that I need to take care of. Another thing we might notice, which definitely aligns with the imposter syndrome experience, is we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves in trying to balance these things or trying to take on these additional roles. Reilly Chabie [00:09:16]: That could come from a variety of different ways, but as grad students, you might have this expectation that You are being held to this higher standard. There is more to be expected of you. And while to some degree academically that might be true in the sense that your program is specialized or is going to focus more in depth than maybe some of your undergraduate experience, we too ultimately set too high of an expectation that we are going to meet all of our demands all of the time, 100% of the time. But unfortunately, what that leads to is we are thinking that we are striving for perfection here. And there's that age-old saying, nothing can really ever reach a perfect space, right? Nothing is perfect. But we can think about what perfect actually means to us and how that relates back to our balance. So take in mind some of these things about balance because it'll be helpful in trying to maybe gauge how we want to approach rebalancing our life and making sure that we're able to meet the demands of what we're experiencing, but also knowing when it's too much, right? Or also knowing when we have to manage our expectations to be able to fit in what is most important to us. So now that we've considered some of the potential ways in which our balance can be impacted, or the specific aspects in which we're trying to look at when we think of balance, I think it's also helpful to kind of discuss what specifically we're experiencing or feeling as imbalance occurs. Reilly Chabie [00:11:01]: And I'm sure many of you have heard the word before, but burnout tends to be our biggest worry when we think about imbalance, right? That if we are really engaging in one area, we might feel burnt out to the point where we can't engage in other areas. Some of you mentioned energy, right? Burnout does impact our energy levels. It impacts so many different aspects. And I think it's helpful to, while this slide doesn't really give you an exhaustive list, it's helpful to kind of look at some of the ways in which burnout shows up for you. So for example, physically, burnout might show up as high blood pressure. We might get recurring headaches. We might struggle to fall asleep, stay asleep, or even get up sometimes. Stomachaches are very common. Reilly Chabie [00:11:52]: They say that There's an emotional center in our stomachs, which is why a lot of people tend to have GI issues when they're anxious or worried or concerned about things. You might also recognize that with increased stress comes a decrease in immune function, so we might actually be getting sick more frequently. And I'm not necessarily talking about if you have a chronic condition, but if you're generally otherwise pretty healthy, you might experience more colds or be susceptible to other types of illnesses. So it can definitely impact our physical process here. It also is going to impact our mental and emotional experiences. Once again, not an exhaustive list, but if we are experiencing burnout, we are likely going to experience some concentration difficulties. So that might be on your homework, that might be on certain work aspects if you are working during the same time as your degree, could be in various other roles. We might forget things more regularly. Reilly Chabie [00:12:53]: We're going to notice maybe low mood where we're just generally feeling down, generally just kind of feeling disconnected. We might notice a loss of interest in some of your favorite things or things that typically have brought you joy. We might feel like we're falling behind, even if we're technically right on par. Sometimes we just have that feeling that we should catch up or should be doing more. And a lot of the time when we're experiencing burnout, all of these symptoms and concerns lead to this sense of feeling stuck. I personally, when I'm experiencing burnout, I tend to feel like very run down. I get headaches pretty regularly. I'm very tired. Reilly Chabie [00:13:32]: A lot of those things start to come up. And I also tend to isolate from people, right? I don't feel like I have that energy to engage or the energy to show up in ways that are meaningful to me or to those around me. And that likely is due to that burnout and that feeling of overwhelm that I have too much going on at any given point. So once again, these signs are helpful to consider because one, you may have already experienced them, which is a good indication that we've experienced burnout. But when you start to notice these pop up either more intensely, more frequently, maybe out of characteristically, where like maybe every once in a while you get a headache, but like all of a sudden you're getting them so often that you're very confused because you're drinking water, eating well, doing all of those regular things. When those things start to happen, that's a good indicator to us that we've maybe lost balance in some way, and we can start working on some of these tips to kind of regain that balance in an aspect that feels tangible and approachable in the moment. All right. So now that we kind of have a better understanding of what balance is, you know, what might be contributing to our imbalance, and just kind of some ideas as to how we consider this balance in our own context, I do want to talk a little bit about What are some of those tips and tricks on getting toward balance? And some kind of basic things to be mindful of in this process is that achieving balance is a, is a very kind of like incremental step process. Reilly Chabie [00:15:09]: It's never going to be linear in the, in the way we feel that if we do step 1, it leads to step 2, but rather if we take one step in one direction, that means we're closer to taking another step at some point. Mm-hmm. And I think phrasing it in this way suggests that sometimes balance— we can stay consistent for long enough before we, let's say for example, improve upon an area of wellness. And that consistency helps us feel stable, supported, and gives that kind of foundational core to our experience, something that we can always rely on. And every once in a while, we take those bigger steps to more solidify our connection to our wellness and to the things that we care about. Care about in the moment. In that same mindset, balance can often be viewed as a continuum that we're kind of ebbing and flowing through that balance space. Sometimes I like to think of the balance continuum as 1 being like, I'm a complete disaster, I have no idea what's going on, to 10 being, for lack of a better term, perfectly balanced. Reilly Chabie [00:16:18]: And perfectly balanced is just whatever I deem to be balanced in that moment. Am I not feeling those signs of burnout? Do I feel like I'm able to keep my energy up? Am I able to feel connected to the people that I'm with? The things that I value in that process. So every once in a while, it might be helpful to kind of check your balance continuum, kind of see where you lie in that 1 to 10 scale, if that's helpful. But even more so, when we think about the continuum, balance is going to look different for everybody. Therefore, your approach is going to be different. That one thing isn't necessarily going to work for me as it does for you, and that's okay. Ultimately, we're just kind of trying to find that concoction that leads us to the appropriate level of balance that we need. So ultimately, why is balance even realistically important? Well, first of all, it's going to improve our mood. Reilly Chabie [00:17:16]: So if we feel like all of our kind of dimensions of wellness are taken care of and we feel relatively balanced, then we We're going to notice the pleasure in things. We're going to feel focused. We're going to feel like we're achieving what we want to achieve. We're also going to notice a higher and better quality in our relationships. So going back to that part about our roles that we hold, we might feel better about our role as a student. We might feel better satisfaction from our relationships with our significant other, our friends, our coworkers, wherever it might be at, because we're able to focus on that dimension of our wellness. And I think that's a really important point. We're also likely to just have a better enjoyment of life itself. Reilly Chabie [00:18:00]: I can't tell you how many times that during grad school it was pretty complicated to feel like everything was enjoyable around me. Like, I won't lie, we have those emotions all the time, right, where things are stressful, things are kind of getting to us. But the more we actively keep in check our balance to the best of our ability, the more likely it is that we're going to experience that enjoyment for longer periods of time, even outside of the times when we know we just cannot in the moment. That is okay. But this is why balance is key in our process as a grad student, because we respect and understand the difficulties that might come around, but we are not stuck in that difficulty if and when we do not want to be. We can access those resources and engage in ways to help us get to that balance. As we shift into kind of the tips for balance, right? Once again, I talked a little bit about the uniqueness of balance, right? That we're looking at different ways across the board that might work for you but won't work for another person in today's conversation. And ultimately, it's okay to test out as many of these as you would like, consider as many of them as you would like, and notice what works in times of high stress or what works when you're just kind of hanging out but you're noticing some of that imbalance. Reilly Chabie [00:19:20]: So feel free to kind of consider some of these things, but add what feels appropriate to you. So first and foremost, as we talk about tips for balance, I want to address a concept called self-compassion. And self-compassion is a term coined by Kristin Neff. And she defines self-compassion as the practice of being kind and understanding towards oneself when experiencing failure, inadequacy, or suffering. And I think this really sums up some of the feelings that we might have in the grad school experience. When we think about imposter syndrome, we often feel like we are inadequate in what we are trying to learn. And as a student, that can be really alarming. We can be like, well, you know, I did all of this work, I did all of the things that I felt like I was supposed to do, and I am still feeling this way. Reilly Chabie [00:20:13]: So something that we want to be mindful of is that our, our ability to say, hey, what you are doing is really hard, and it is okay to have these thoughts, these feelings, these experiences, we tend to reduce that kind of like idea that we're not allowed to feel a certain way or that we're not allowed to have uncomfortable or difficulty emotions in the process. And what we also learn is that we're able to accept that these challenges are in front of us, that we're doing the best that we can. We're trying to balance what's in front of us. And in that process, we're accepting the fact that whatever I'm trying to do now will inevitably help in some way. What we don't want is to beat ourselves up over our process. We don't want to say that we're incapable of addressing these things. It's ultimately just going to be about saying, I accept that I'm feeling this, and I'm being kind to myself in the process as I figure out how I want to take it. In line with that, we're giving ourselves the permission to kind of feel some of these negative and uncomfortable feelings. Reilly Chabie [00:21:24]: Part of self-compassion is being able to say, wow, I have a lot of emotions in this moment, and I don't really know what to do with them, and they're kind of freaking me out. But emotions are there for a reason. They remind us when things are important. They tell us that we, that we want something out of an experience, or they tell us how to survive, right? Or how to get out of of an experience. And what we, what we don't want is to shame ourselves into thinking that negative feelings automatically mean failure or bad or whatever it is, but rather, okay, I don't love that I'm feeling this negative feeling, or I'm uncomfortable by this. What does it mean for me? How do I look at this from that lens of balance? And why might I be feeling uncomfortable? Right? So we can practice that skill. I did see a question about the slide deck. You will likely receive this. Reilly Chabie [00:22:16]: I typically send it out afterwards. words to Dr. Lewis, but I appreciate that question regardless. So once we've kind of gotten into that spot of like feeling our feelings and offering that self-compassion, there are some interesting skills that we can utilize, especially when it relates to those overwhelming emotions that I always like to let people know about. So specifically, I like to talk about these skills that are considered distress tolerance skills. Distress tolerance essentially is this idea that we're working towards tolerating tolerating the fact that we will likely come into contact with distress. Things in life are stressful, therefore we're learning how to tolerate that. And this is more so to kind of give us that space to feel what we need to feel rather than saying that all of the things we experience have to be felt a certain way. Reilly Chabie [00:23:09]: So when we're thinking about distress tolerance, there's a couple of things that I suggest that individuals do. So first and foremost, when we're in heightened levels of stress, such as like when we're experiencing burnout, something that can be really helpful is building up a sense of grounding or reality. So when we're feeling stressed, we tend to kind of feel outside of our body a little bit, we tend to struggle on our focusing, we kind of feel disconnected. So in an effort to ground or kind of bring us back to that sense of reality in that present moment, I suggest utilizing the 5-4-3-2-1 method. I know that's kind of a mouthful, but all that essentially is asking you to do is you're going to utilize your 5 senses in order to reacclimate to your present moment. So for example, I might do this practice by asking myself to think of It's not thinking, but around me in the present moment, I'm going to identify 5 things that I see. I'm going to then go down to 4 things that I can touch, 3 things that I can smell, 2 things I can hear, and 1 thing that I can taste. And although some people will suggest that doing the senses that are kind of the easiest, so maybe like sight and hearing or the touch, to be in those like 5-4-3 areas. Reilly Chabie [00:24:44]: You can kind of mix and match that however you feel is appropriate for you. Whatever senses you feel like are most applicable, you can still utilize this even if you're not using all 5, or if you want to reorganize that system to be most approachable to you. All that's doing is it's bringing you back into the present moment, which allows you to reconnect to any sort of thing that you're trying to navigate in that moment. I also suggest the concept radical acceptance, which is a more like key distress tolerance And radical acceptance involves fully acknowledging and embracing your present moment, including all of the difficulties and the discomforts that you're feeling, without trying to change or control it. And I know that seems kind of counterproductive to the idea of balance, but if you think about yourself, for example, on a boat, let's say it's like a small, like one-person boat. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:39]: Mm-hmm. Reilly Chabie [00:25:39]: And you notice that the waves are kind of rocking you back and forth a little bit, and you're trying not to tip over on the boat. You might, unfortunately, in order to try and control that situation, you might overcorrect as the waves tilt you in one direction, and that might make the boat tip over. So what we don't necessarily always want to do is focus on how we control a particular emotion or discomfort. Sometimes it pays off to simply acknowledge its presence and be like, wow, Wow, this doesn't feel great, and not put that expectation on ourselves to fix it or change it or figure it out. And what you might tend to notice, as per somebody mentioned earlier in the chat, is that that thing that's making you feel uncomfortable or distressed might be outside of your control, which tells you that it doesn't fit into your key balancing act, right? If something's outside of your control, all you can focus on is what you can do in that moment. And using radical acceptance and kind of acknowledging that discomfort can kind of lead to that realization, helping us through that process. So those kind of original tips focused a lot on some of those emotional aspects and kind of being kind to ourselves and really focusing on, on that cognitive piece. I also feel like it's helpful to kind of provide some practical balancing tips, especially as we relate it back to the academic side of our experience. Reilly Chabie [00:27:09]: So think about like our organizational tools, our time management tools, things like that. So first and foremost, for balancing, we can think about creating a schedule that includes self-care, specific breaks, or other relaxation techniques, right? We're trying to kind of organize and balance things out a little bit. We might block out time in that schedule for things that we value. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:34]: Right. Reilly Chabie [00:27:34]: So for example, if we really value our social connection, we're gonna wanna schedule time to make sure that we are connecting with those we care about, family, friends, so on and so forth. If we are really into a particular hobby, being able to make sure we create space for that in whatever capacity we can helps to create balance when things are stressful. It can also be time between classes, activities, work-related events, things like that, to kind of give yourself a chance to reset or emotionally and mentally recollect. I remember during my grad school days, I would focus on like my commute as a great way to just kind of disconnect from what I had just been experiencing before I enter into my next role or, you know, my specific thing as soon as I got home or went to work or whatever it was. So maybe I use that as a time to listen to music or listen to an audiobook or just allow myself to listen to the car sounds as I was driving on 75 wherever I was going. So think about some of those ways in which you can organize your time to kind of create that balance. We can also consider shifting and shuffling priorities when needed, right? So maybe it's okay for me to shift my work schedule around to make room for this time I need to study before my exam, or maybe I can shuffle around this thing that I had scheduled or this preemptive study time to focus on being present with my family for a little bit, whatever it might be. It's also really crucial that you work together with your loved ones, your peers in your classes, or colleagues to kind of create a sense of support and accountability. Reilly Chabie [00:29:18]: Doing this all by yourself can be really hard, and I think a big part of why these webinars are offered is to showcase that there are resources and spaces on campus that can help you feel like you can maintain this, this kind of project for yourself and engage in the things that you want to engage in. So be mindful of what's around you, who you're connecting with, and utilize them in that way. And then once again, some of these basic time management skills— so planners, calendars, using task lists, whatever feels like it's going to be most applicable to you and your experience. And this could also be a great time to try something new if you've never tried it before. This is a good time to explore some of those areas before we start the semester so that you can kind of consider how that would fit into your daily experience. I think it's helpful too just to remind yourself that priorities change, and as we try to work towards balance, we might notice that something calls our attention over the thing we were originally trying to balance out. And it's okay to focus on other areas of your wellness as you try to tackle one that's been particularly difficult. Because if our wellness areas make up a whole person, sometimes we got to, you know, figure out how to deal with this part of our emotional wellness before we figure out how to take care of our spiritual wellness. Reilly Chabie [00:30:41]: And we don't know that until we start exploring some of these different areas. So once again, that's where that kind of self-compassion and kindness can come into play. As I mentioned, when we were kind of going over our overview for our conversation today, I wanted to specifically take some time out to talk about boundaries, which is an aspect of this balancing act that we're talking about here. Boundaries in particular, I think to some degree have been a bit of a buzzword over the years, but they're really crucial in helping you build your own confidence and kind of maintaining your own sense of identity as you work your way through the U of M Flint community. And I think it's helpful to consider that there are several different types of boundaries that you might engage in. Some might be more applicable in one area of your life over another, but I put this helpful kind of graphic up here to kind of give you some insight into what these boundaries might look like. So we have boundaries like our mental boundaries, emotional boundaries, internal boundaries that help us kind of self-regulate as a As opposed to boundaries that we set with other people. We of course have our physical boundaries, time boundaries, and even the way in which we converse with one another. Reilly Chabie [00:32:03]: So not an exhaustive list, but once again, a helpful kind of diagram to give us an idea as to what types of boundaries we may or may not need to set in our time at U of M Flint. So let's think about what the process actually is in setting boundaries. So setting boundaries is really focused on building a sense of understanding your limits. So you know you best. You're likely to kind of be able to do these self-check-ins to be like, wow, you know, I'm doing this thing and I've realized that I've hit this threshold, right? I am above this threshold in whatever I'm feeling. I know that sometimes I feel like that in group work where I'm trying to communicate with somebody and I'm having some challenges. I know where my limit is. So I try to set some boundaries in order for me to not get frustrated or feel resentful or challenge other people in my group. Reilly Chabie [00:33:00]: So ultimately, you might ask yourself through self-check-ins, am I getting enough rest? That might help you give an idea as to where your limits are in terms of how much sleep you're getting. You might ask yourself, am I doing too much? Or is this particular situation nourishing me in the way that I need it to? So those self-check-ins can kind of help you define those limits. It's important that when setting boundaries, you're considering when you need to say no. I think that's pretty typical in that boundary space. Once you've known a limit, you might say no to something in particular to kind of help address that issue. But it is also important to know when to say yes. So yes to something can help build our confidence, can help challenge us in different ways to help balance out some of those core wellness dimensions. We also want to be able to kind of determine what our priorities are. Reilly Chabie [00:33:54]: So what exactly are the priorities in that particular situation? And are these boundaries that I need going to align with those priorities? Or even asking yourself, is this situation aligning with my priorities? So once we've kind of established some of those things, although it's not necessarily as clear-cut in the real world, I like to break it down into these 3 steps in terms of how you're going to set your boundary. So first, you're going to define the boundary. What does it look like? What specific thing are you trying to create a boundary? So going back to the previous slide, we might look at, okay, I'm going to set an emotional boundary, or I'm going to set a time-based boundary because I know that I need to leave in the next half hour if I'm going to make it to work on time. So you're gonna define that boundary. Next step, you're gonna communicate that. You're gonna showcase to yourself, how do I communicate? How do I say this in an appropriate way? How do I say this in a way that is effective and clear? And consider who your audience is. You might set a boundary differently with a professor as you do with a best friend. It just depends. Reilly Chabie [00:35:07]: And then the last step is set your consequence. So we're not necessarily talking about ultimatums when we think about setting consequences, but rather what's going to happen if a boundary is not respected. So if I set a boundary and somebody doesn't respect that, is the consequence that I'm going to reiterate that boundary and then say, look, I, I can't engage in it this time, I'm gonna have to leave right now, I can't stay for that extra 30 minutes that I had before, right? So what does that consequence look like? And even more so, when you set that consequence, that's you essentially setting yourself up to be held accountable internally on reinforcing and engaging in those boundaries. It's one thing to set a boundary. It's a whole other thing to reinforce them and kind of enforce them in a way that kind of keeps us accountable. So let's go over a quick example slide of what some of these boundaries might might look like. So for example, I might word a boundary such as, I'm going to be honest and vulnerable with myself. That might be an internal type of boundary that I hold myself accountable to. Reilly Chabie [00:36:15]: Or I might say, I'm going to keep a gratitude journal. That's kind of like a material, perhaps, boundary that like, I want to engage in this thing. I'm saying yes to this thing, and I'm going to hold myself accountable to that. I might also say, as a friend, you shouldn't be gossiping about me. That's another type of kind of social boundary that we can set, right? We're very clearly communicating like, hey, you're gossiping about me and that's not okay as a friend. You might also say, I'm uncomfortable in this situation, so I'm going to leave, right? So that's a clear boundary, a clear expectation stating without too much detail what you're experiencing. This is my wording. This does not necessarily reflect what you yourself will feel or what you yourself are going to experience. Reilly Chabie [00:37:02]: So keep that in mind that although these are some examples, they may not perfectly line up with your experience and you might word them differently. But each of these kind of give a clear depiction as to what a boundary could be, and you can set time limits to them. You can add them in particular situations. It just depends on where you need to set that boundary. So as we look at wrapping up here, I have a few more slides to just kind of talk about last thoughts and then some resources. I think it's so crucial to consider that as you're practicing balance and boundaries, it will not happen overnight, you feeling balanced. You might feel closer and closer that you're getting to that point, but it takes a lot of practice to engage in this work, and it requires a sense of understanding that you're likely to make mistakes and that it's gonna be kind of challenging, that if we don't feel it overnight and we choose to stop, we're not gonna achieve that balance in the way that we want to. So be kind to yourself in that process. Reilly Chabie [00:38:05]: And the more you practice, the more likely it's going to be second nature and more of a habit for you, the same way we build habits in other ways. And ultimately, when in doubt, if you're not sure if you should set a boundary, if you're not sure you should do a coping skill, if you're not sure what you should be doing, you can always ask for help in whatever context that you're in. Maybe you need to ask for help by extending an assignment, sending an email to your professor. Maybe you just need to yap about it with your friends for a little bit and really process through that information before you determine what you need to do. Ultimately, Ultimately, you have people on campus, you have people in your life who are great soundboards in trying to navigate and work through these stressors as you start your grad degree. And it is perfectly acceptable to ask questions and really get to know what other people are doing too, so that you have something to go off of. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:39:08]: Reilly, great job. Thank you so much for all of this. You did a great job as always. So thank you very much, Reilly, for being here tonight and for sharing all of this amazing information, and wish you the best as you start the new term. The University of Michigan Flint has a full array of master's and doctorate programs if you are interested in continuing your education. Whether you're looking for in-person or online learning options, the University of Michigan Flint has programs that will meet your needs. For more information on any of our graduate programs, visit umflint.edu/graduateprograms to find out more. Thanks again for spending time with me as you prepare to be a Victor in grad school. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:39:52]: I look forward to speaking with you again soon as we embark together on your graduate school journey. If you have any questions or want to reach out, email me at flintgradoffice@umflint.edu.

3. 

   5 Oct 2026

   Understanding and Conquering Imposter Syndrome in Graduate School

   In the latest episode of Victors in Grad School, Dr. Christopher Lewis and Darien Wilkerson tackle a challenge nearly every graduate student faces: imposter syndrome. Through a thoughtful conversation, the episode explores what imposter syndrome looks like, why it happens, and—most importantly—how you can manage it to foster success throughout your graduate experience. Defining Imposter Syndrome Right from the start, Darien Wilkerson clarifies that imposter syndrome isn't a mental health disorder, but rather a common "thinking error"—a cognitive distortion that leads capable, accomplished people to doubt their worth or believe their success is due to luck. If you've ever questioned whether you truly deserved an achievement, wondered when others would "find out" you're not as competent as they think, or attributed accomplishments to external factors, you're not alone. Many students, regardless of their background or experience, feel this way at some point. Recognizing the Signs and the Cycle The conversation delves into the broader impacts of imposter syndrome: chronic anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, and the need for external validation. Darien Wilkerson draws attention to how these feelings can create a repeating cycle—doubt leads to over-preparation, achievement brings only brief relief, and then the process repeats itself. Crucially, the episode discusses different "types" of imposter syndrome, based on research by Dr. Valerie Young: the perfectionist, the expert, the soloist, the natural genius, and the superhuman. Recognizing your own tendencies in these categories can be the first step to addressing them. Why Does It Happen? Many factors contribute: family and cultural expectations, pre-existing mental health challenges, negative comparisons to others, new or unfamiliar environments, and even being part of a minority group in an academic setting. Understanding the root causes can help frame your feelings and set the stage for effective strategies to manage them. Practical Strategies for Management Most empowering, the episode offers actionable steps for listeners. Darien Wilkerson encourages acknowledging feelings without judgment, challenging negative self-talk, celebrating accomplishments (even small ones), and embracing a growth mindset. Simple exercises—like naming your achievements or reframing negative thoughts—can shift your perspective and boost confidence. Listen and Grow This episode isn't just an exploration—it's a toolkit for students, offering both understanding and real-world steps to thrive, not just survive, in grad school. If you've ever struggled with doubt or the pressure to be perfect, tune into this episode of Victors in Grad School for practical guidance and a reminder: you absolutely belong. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:01]: Welcome to Victors in Grad School, where we have conversations with students, alumni, and experts about what it takes to find success in graduate school. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:11]: Tonight we're going to be talking about the imposter syndrome and understanding imposter syndrome. It's definitely something that most graduate students are going to have happen to them at some point, and it's important to have some some hints, some tricks, some things that you can do to be able to prepare yourself, but also to know what to do when it happens. And I'm excited to be able to have another colleague friend from our university here. Darien Wilkerson is with us. Darien is with our Counseling and Psychological Services Office. You're also gonna hear it called CAPS, and that is our Counseling and Psychological Services Office on campus. And they're here to support you. And I know that Darien will talk about that as well. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:54]: So I'm gonna turn it over to Darien. Darien, thanks so much for being here tonight. Darien Wilkerson [00:00:57]: Yeah, likewise. Thank you, Dr. Lewis. And again, welcome everyone who's about to be joining U of M Flint in your graduate studies here. So my role this evening is just going to be walking you guys through understanding imposter syndrome just a little bit. So having a little bit more context, ideas, and some strategies, because like Dr. Lewis said, at some point, whether that's in the program or beyond, we're going to potentially navigate Or go through our own process of this phenomenon, right? And just trying to figure out how do we work through it? What do we do? So we will jump into that. So some quick learning objectives. Darien Wilkerson [00:01:35]: Again, we're gonna understand that defining that definition of imposter syndrome, identify those self-patterns associated with imposter syndrome. So as we're going through this PowerPoint, start to really reflect on yourself currently. What could be possible? What's currently happening right now? Getting into graduate program in itself can feel like that too, right? So just really start to reflect currently where you're at and just kind of examine those factors that contribute to self-doubt and perceived inadequacy. Going to learn a little bit about applying those strategies to challenge imposter thoughts and reframing those negative self-talk, and then ultimately learn to develop those healthier approaches to success. And hopefully trying to get more self-compassion, growth, and recognition of your current accomplishments and future accomplishments. So I will try to stay mindful of the chat in case there's questions that kind of come through. Hopefully with time we'll be able to get to some questions, but just let everyone know I am trying to stay mindful of that. So feel free to kind of put those in the chat when it comes to mind. Darien Wilkerson [00:02:40]: But I just want to set the stage for us. As we're kind of talking about imposter syndrome, I think it's fair for us to get into a headspace, right? So I start with this slide. Have you ever— these are some of the go-to questions, right? Felt like you didn't deserve an accomplishment? Wondered when someone would realize you weren't capable of something? Attributed your success to luck or good timing? Or you felt like everyone else knew what they were doing except you? These are really the starting blocks of questioning that we put on ourselves that makes imposter syndrome start to become active. So it's good to recognize, man, do I really say this to myself? Are these common themes of questioning that I do? And if so, how do we start to start— how do we start to address those things now so they don't move into an introduction of imposter syndrome? So let's get into a little bit of the definition. So imposter syndrome is a psychological cognitive distortion. That's a fancy word, but it's basically just saying a thinking error. We all have thinking errors. They come up from time to time. Darien Wilkerson [00:03:50]: But really, imposter syndrome is not a mental health disorder or a challenge. It's just a thinking— how we're thinking, how we're processing something, right? And that involves feelings of self-doubt. Inadequacy, personal incompetence, and that persists despite the education, experience, or accomplishments that you already have. So it's really this thing that says you're not capable when there's so much evidence that says the opposite, right? It's like I said, a large amount of people will probably experience that within their life, and it's not a diagnosable mental health challenge. This is something that we could go through depending on various different factors. So how does it present? That questioning on the last slide is typically how it starts. So it starts to— it starts with questioning ourselves. We have negative self-talk, which is more so just like really saying negative things about ourselves on a regular basis. Darien Wilkerson [00:04:46]: Inability to internalize accomplishments. So maybe if you're hearing an accomplishment, you might start to question or doubt it. And that continues that feeling of inadequacy, right? Because we don't leave room for Positives. So those are quick definitions, quick, you know, symptoms, if you will, when it comes to what imposter syndrome can look like. So future concerns. So this is happening on a regular basis. What are some of these concerns long term if we don't find management? So that imposter syndrome can lead to anxiety, you know, where we have high levels of chronic anxiety. Because we're questioning everything, right, and our capabilities. Darien Wilkerson [00:05:28]: Depression, low mood can come up. Burnout, overworking, meaning you might have to feel like you have to prove yourself. So in proving yourself, you're working more and more and more just to try to, you know, show people I am worthy, I am capable. And that could potentially lead to burnout, overworking. That also leads to perfectionism. You don't really have a lot of room or space to want to make mistakes because if you don't feel like you belong, You feel like you constantly have to be perfect. So perfectionism can be a challenge or a concern. And then external validation, you might be craving that external validation all the time. Darien Wilkerson [00:06:07]: And that could be good or bad, right? And how that shapes us. Self-sabotage, right? So we might quit a job. We may not want to pursue the degree that we want to pursue because we feel like we just aren't able to do it. That can lead to procrastination because procrastination typically is trying to protect us from failure, right? So we delay starting something in fear of us potentially failing that thing. And then self-criticism and low self-esteem, they kind of unfortunately go hand in hand together. But this is talking about our image. How do we view ourselves? And how are we talking to ourselves on a regular basis? So those are some of those feature concerns when we talk about imposter syndrome, which is really important that we're We're trying to have this conversation now so these future concerns don't become so pressing. Okay, so the next one, I think it's good to talk about the cycle that imposter syndrome can have for us. Darien Wilkerson [00:07:07]: So really, when you're thinking about imposter syndrome, it starts with a task. You get assigned a task, you get assigned a responsibility, or you move into a new role in your life, right? And that can create a flooding of anxiety or overpreparation. Right? From that anxiety over preparation, it can go into the yellow, which is task. It'll eventually get into a task finish, like you either complete the assignment, you complete the degree, right? And there's a quick moment of relief from that experience. But then we start rationalizing our accomplishments. I got lucky. Someone else would be better. There's something that starts to scale down our our accomplishment, right? Which leads to more self-doubt, less confidence, and the cycle continues there and there and there and just repeats itself, right? So if you recognize where you're at potentially in this cycle, that can probably help you slow down and stop and reflect. Darien Wilkerson [00:08:05]: What is going on? Why am I in this situation? How can I get myself out of this cycle so it doesn't continue on again? So I just thought it was a good idea to introduce what the imposter phenomenon cycle can look like, just so we can be mindful moving forward. Another thing I think that's important is that there's different types of imposter syndrome. We're talking broadly, but there are different, like, distinguishable features of imposter syndrome, right? So this researcher, psychologist, Dr. Valerie Young, she did research And really composed of 5 different presentations and how imposter syndrome can come up. So we talked about it a little bit, but the perfectionist— so you don't have any— you don't have a lot of room to make errors. If you make an error, then that's automatically associated with shame. You have to be the expert in something. If you feel like you're not the expert, then you feel like you're failing, and that brings up shame as well. Darien Wilkerson [00:09:03]: So you have to be the best of the best. That's what the expert imposter is trying to say. If you're not the best at this, then You're not going to be good at this. Now, the soloist, basically meaning that it's wrong to ask for help, or you have a lot of anxiety or shame for asking for help. You should be able to accomplish this by yourself, right? The natural genius is talking about aptitude. You should have an aptitude to get this done with ease or speed. And if you start to struggle, then that starts to make us question, am I capable? Am I deserving, right? So then the last one is just talking about the superhuman. So that measures competence based on how many roles you can juggle or excel in. Darien Wilkerson [00:09:47]: So if you're someone again who wants to be seen as like, I can do this, this, this, and this, and this at the same time, that's overwhelming to us, right? And we might not be able to manage that. So the superhuman is trying to say, I can do everything. Like, you can look at me, I can— I'm the person for the job. So again, these are 5 distinct ones, and I also believe if we are aware of which ones we fall into, our personalities lean towards, we can kind of start to rectify that so it doesn't get to a very severe state. So those would be the 5 types of imposter syndromes, right? Or presentations. So I am keeping an eye on that chat. So, all right, move forward. So causes. Darien Wilkerson [00:10:38]: So we're talking about imposter syndrome. How does it occur? You know, what does occur, but what's the causes? Why do people get into this headspace, right? So there's a couple of different reasons. One is family dynamics, maybe, and that can also go into cultural expectations. So those kind of tie in together. So what does our family say about failure? What does our family say about being successful? What does that look like? And that could be tied into cultural expectations as well. So if you feel like you're failing based off of what you grew up knowing in your culture and your household, imposter syndrome can really flare up, unfortunately. Preexisting mental health challenges, so anxiety, depression, you know, these kind of common mental health challenges can be a precursor. Doesn't mean it's going to happen, but You just have to be more mindful around how you're internalizing setbacks, failures, challenges, because imposter syndrome can come up when it comes to that. Darien Wilkerson [00:11:38]: Negative fear-based comparisons. So if we're constantly comparing ourselves to other people, we don't look at comparison as a way of improving. We look at it as a way of being negative towards ourselves. I'll never amount to that, or they're better than me in this. We start to say these things to rationalize our position, and then it just makes us feel down, right? Novelty, while novelty can be good, like I said, those new opportunities and responsibilities can also create imposter syndrome. I'm new into this program. I'm new into this field. How— like, I don't have the backing or experience to say that I'm going to be good. Darien Wilkerson [00:12:18]: So since I don't have that prior experience, you start to question and doubt, am I even going to be good at this thing, right? Lastly, I think the last one goes to cultural expectations, but holding minority identities Can also be room for imposter syndrome. Doesn't always happen, but if you're a minority going into a certain space, that can create imposter syndrome just initially, because you're trying to want to prove yourself, right? So there's a couple ideas to kind of think about for ourselves, right? But if any of those speak to you, this is time to reflect and just be mindful of how we're carrying some of those things. Okay, so conquering it. What are some of these strategies? So 4 steps for you, just quick things to keep in mind as you're trying to tackle the imposter syndrome if it does ever occur for you. Number 1, you just want to acknowledge the feeling. Whatever's coming up for you emotionally, you want to validate the presence of the emotion, minimize judgment towards that present feeling, and remind yourself that feelings don't always mean that they're facts. The only thing feelings do is gives us a direction to go towards. It doesn't say that's definitive or that's proof, right? So one, you just want to be mindful and just acknowledge that feeling. Darien Wilkerson [00:13:39]: If you feel like you're disappointing someone, you feel like you're failing, if you're getting sad, start there and acknowledge that feeling. Step 2, challenge inner critic. So there's a critic that comes up, right? We talked about negative self-talk. So if you're saying negative things, you want to start to challenge the doubt. You want to challenge those things that come up for you. Ask for the evidence, whether that's internally to yourself or you start having conversations with other people. And also try to identify overlooked strengths. Identify successes you're not taking ownership of. Darien Wilkerson [00:14:12]: It's probably a handful of things that we do that we just expect ourselves to do. But when you slow it down, you're like, oh, That's a big thing. I actually did excel in that. I did get into this program. I did get the grades and the test scores to actually show that I'm capable, right? So you want to start challenging those inner critic voices that come up. You want to do that early in. So that's step 1, acknowledging the feeling. Step 2 is challenging those— that inner critic. Darien Wilkerson [00:14:43]: Okay, so this is a Brief reframing example. So the thought can say, I only got this opportunity because I got lucky. And then you want to start to challenge that thought, right? So some questions you might ask yourself is, what's the evidence for this thought? Is there any proof that supports it? And then what's the evidence against it? And you start to kind of put your thoughts on trial, basically, right? And then you start to create this catalog of information. And that will help you rationally understand, well, this thought doesn't have a lot of weight to it at all. And then you start asking more questions like, what would you tell a friend who had this thought? If you shift the perspective and you put it back to a friend sharing with you, well, I got this opportunity because I got lucky, what would you say to that friend? So that perspective-taking kind of helps us rationalize a little bit differently how we're talking to ourselves. And then the last one is, am I holding space for compassion? Am I really being compassionate to myself right now? Right? So I would say those are some of those 4 guided prompt questions just to ask ourselves when we're trying to challenge a thought. And I thought that was just probably something hopefully of value just to really start the conversation with ourselves or with somebody else if we had to. Okay, step 3. Darien Wilkerson [00:16:08]: Own your accomplishments. Easier said than done, right? But you want to start to reflect on your accomplishments and also celebrate those accomplishments. That could be celebration is pat yourself on the back, go out to eat, let somebody know. Just do something that celebrates and acknowledges, no, I did this thing. It actually happened. And then embrace the praise objectively. Right? Just allow the praise to occur. Acknowledge the discomfort internally if you hear the praise, but also to say, yeah, they have a point there. Darien Wilkerson [00:16:40]: They're right. I did do this thing. And then ask an unbiased observer for evidence of your ability. So if you really feel like you need to have the extra mile, go the extra mile, ask someone else. Like, hey, did you like— and that could be a manager, that could be a boss, whoever. Those people are the ones that can really give you hopefully unbiased evidence or answers to some of your questions. And next to this is about an exercise you can try to do on the regular. Just 3 accomplishments that you're, you know, that you're proud of, 2 strengths you used to achieve them, and 1 piece of evidence that shows that you are capable of ongoing success. Darien Wilkerson [00:17:21]: It's something you can try to do every now and then just to remind yourself, like, Yes, I have accomplishments in my past. Yes, I have these strengths, and this is the evidence of that strength. That might be helpful to continue to form positive thinking and reflection of our success, just so we can start to own up— own our accomplishments for step 3. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:44]: Okay. Darien Wilkerson [00:17:47]: Then getting into step 4, recognizing Perfection is not a real thing, right? So you want to go from perfection to growth. So recognize progress is more important than perfection. Success does not require perfection. Failure can be a teachable moment. So if you're in— as you're in school moving forward, if you feel like there's times that you feel like you failed, that does not mean that's the end of your story or end of learning or growing. It just means that you have a moment where you can actually get the most out of the opportunity. You can ask questions, clarifying questions, consult with people, try to figure out how do I ensure that this doesn't happen to me again, right? And that can hopefully lead to self-compassion, which removes you from going from a place of judgment and shame to actually being able to grow from that situation. So really, step 4 is talking about just being, being kind to yourself and just trying to be in a growth mentality versus a perfectionist mentality. Darien Wilkerson [00:18:51]: And that should hopefully guide us through any kind of imposter syndrome that could come up. So the finalized toolkit list is just talking about, you know, start to finish what we just discussed. Acknowledge the feeling, check the evidence, challenge the thought, avoid negative comparisons. If anything, use comparison as a motivator versus anything that could bring us down. Practice self-compassion. That could be through the accomplishments that we talked about. And also just remember the accomplishments, accept the praise, and focus on the growth. So those are just, just a quick toolkit list of just reminders, just so you have those. Darien Wilkerson [00:19:33]: But yeah, that's what I have for you when it comes to imposter syndrome. How do you tackle it? What it, what it is. So now questions. If anyone had any of those questions, that would be a good time to do that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:47]: Darien, this is great. Really appreciate you sharing all of this. It definitely opened my eyes to some things that I hadn't even thought of, and so I really appreciate you walking us through this. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:00]: The University of Michigan-Flint has a full array of master's and doctorate programs if you are interested in continuing your education. Whether you're looking for in-person or online learning options, the University of Michigan-Flint has programs that meet your needs. For more information on any of our graduate programs, visit umflint.edu/graduateprograms to find out more. Thanks again for spending time with me as you prepare to be a Victor in grad school. I look forward to speaking with you again soon as we embark together on your graduate school journey. If you have any questions or want to reach out, email me at flintgradoffice@umflint.edu.

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