Vilomah - The loss of a child

About Vilomah - The loss of a child

There is a term for most bereaved people. For those who have lost a husband, the word widow. For those who have lost a wife, the word widower. For those that have lost parents, the word orphan. There seems to be no word for a parent who has experienced the death of a child, but the closest would be Vilomah. Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that literally means, "against a natural order." A child should never die before their parents and there is some sort of tiny comfort in knowing that there is a word for parents to identify with. Through this podcast series, Jeanne van den Bergh, social worker in private practice and life coach who specialises in trauma and bereavement counselling, aims to offer guidance and support to parents who have a lost a child.

Publisher

Guidance to Grow

Category

kids & family

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

23 Jul 2020

Latest episode

2 Aug 2024

Latest episodes

26 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   2 Aug 2024

   The last episode and my goodbye

   Dear Vilomah Community, With a heart full of gratitude and reflection, I share some significant changes in my life and what they mean for our beloved podcast, Vilomah. Since 2021, I have had the honour of walking alongside you, sharing stories, advice, and comfort as we navigate the heart-wrenching journey of losing a child. This podcast was born out of a desire to reach out to parents enduring this unimaginable pain, a way to say, “You are not alone.” Today marks the last episode of Vilomah. It’s a bittersweet moment for me. My journey as a bereaved mother and a counsellor has been deeply intertwined with this podcast. Over the past three years, we’ve explored various aspects of this journey, and I have shared my personal story with you. The podcast has been a source of solace and strength, both for me and, I hope, for you as well. Life, as we know, is ever-changing. My husband and I are planning to downscale our lifestyle and possibly move. We've navigated through our loss, and our children and grandchildren have found their own ways to cope with the absence of our daughter. While the podcast is ending, my passion for counselling remains unwavering. I am still here for you, ready to listen and support you. You can always reach me at info@guidancetogrow.co.za. My daughter will always be a part of me. The seasons of my life have been profoundly affected by her absence. Winter, with its cold and darkness, has been a constant metaphor for the loss. Yet, I have also seen the blossoms of spring and felt the warmth of summer in moments of joy and new beginnings. Becoming a grandmother has brought light back into my life, reminding me that even after the harshest winters, spring eventually arrives. Ageing has brought its own set of challenges and reflections. My husband’s support has been invaluable, and our bond has only grown stronger through the years of mourning and healing. Together, we’ve learned to cherish each moment and find gratitude in every day. I encourage you to keep your journals and, if you feel comfortable, share your stories with me. Each journey through loss is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. What matters is finding a path that allows you to honour your child’s memory and continue living with renewed vitality and gratitude. Forgiveness, I’ve found, is crucial. It’s a difficult path, especially when justice seems elusive. But without forgiveness, we risk being consumed by our own bitterness. Our children’s memories deserve to be honoured with peace and love, not overshadowed by anger. Would I have chosen to avoid this pain by never having my daughter? Never. Her life and love have been invaluable to our family, and she will always be a part of us. I hope you, too, find a way to cherish the wonderful memories of your child and choose life in their honour. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I look forward to connecting with you via email or online. Your strength, stories, and resilience have been a beacon of hope and understanding. May you be blessed with peace, love, and joy on your journey. It has been a privilege to connect with you through Vilomah. Warm regards, Jeanne

2. 

   17 Dec 2023

   How to Cope with New Year After Losing a Child

   The New Year is about hope and new beginnings, but for a parent who's lost a child, it's really tough. Celebrating anything feels wrong when your child isn't there. New Year's is usually a time for family and friends, but there's this big empty space without your child. In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Berg encourages parents to focus on their grief state and use the past to identify and work through their grief. She also provides advice on physical and mental recovery, including seeking help from a counsellor and finding small practical ways to give oneself new pleasure.

3. 

   17 Dec 2023

   How to Cope With Grief at Christmas

   Navigating the holiday season following the loss of a child can seem like an overwhelming challenge. The pressure to feel joyful during Christmas, or any similar occasion, often intensifies the sense of sorrow. So, what's the approach for managing Christmas in the absence of your child? Although it's impossible to halt the agony of mourning, establishing realistic personal expectations can help ease the burden of grief. In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh, gives advise on how parents can use this time to learn about their children and share memories.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

3 ratings