For the women who want to stop escaping their lives and start inhabiting them. A podcast about a woman's relationship with her own aliveness. Most midlife women aren't trying to escape their lives because something is wrong. They're trying to escape because somewhere along the way they lost contact with what made their lives feel worth inhabiting. The desire. The pleasure. The sense of being fully present in their own existence. This is not a wellness podcast. Not a therapy podcast. Not a sobriety podcast. Each episode explores what happens when women lose contact with their own life force and what becomes possible when they find it again. We touch on sexuality, identity, midlife, and yes, alcohol. But none of those are the thesis. The thesis is this: women used to feel more alive than they do now. And they want that back. For the midlife woman who suspects what she's been reaching for was never actually out there. Hosted by Ashley Kelsch, writer, coach, and somatic practitioner based in Austin, Texas. www.ashleykelsch.com @theashleykelsch <br/><br/><a href="https://ashleykelsch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">ashleykelsch.substack.com</a>
Wait, What?
Claim This Podcastby I help midlife women stop escaping their lives and start inhabiting them.
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For the women who want to stop escaping their lives and start inhabiting them. A podcast about a woman's relationship with her own aliveness. Most midlife women aren't trying to escape their lives because something is wrong. They're trying to escape because somewhere along the way they lost contact with what made their lives feel worth inhabiting. The desire. The pleasure. The sense of being fully present in their own existence. This is not a wellness podcast. Not a therapy podcast. Not a sobriety podcast. Each episode explores what happens when women lose contact with their own life force and what becomes possible when they find it again. We touch on sexuality, identity, midlife, and yes, alcohol. But none of those are the thesis. The thesis is this: women used to feel more alive than they do now. And they want that back. For the midlife woman who suspects what she's been reaching for was never actually out there. Hosted by Ashley Kelsch, writer, coach, and somatic practitioner based in Austin, Texas. www.ashleykelsch.com @theashleykelsch <br/><br/><a href="https://ashleykelsch.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">ashleykelsch.substack.com</a>
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Publishing Since
5/2/2019
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Recent Episodes
June 11, 2026
Where Did the Desire Go?
<p>Something I keep noticing about midlife women: we keep calling it exhaustion when it’s actually something else entirely.</p><p>The women I work with aren’t running out of energy. They’re running companies, raising children, managing households, taking care of aging parents, showing up for everyone who depends on them. That’s not depletion. That’s misdirection.</p><p>In this episode I’m talking about the difference between life force, eros, and aliveness, and why so many women find themselves reaching outside themselves for something that was never actually out there.</p><p>In this episode:</p><p>* The direction problem: why desire goes underground, not away</p><p>* The double bind: what happens when you spend decades getting good at everyone else’s needs and forgetting your own</p><p>* What it actually looks like when desire goes dormant: the dance class that never happens, the trip that never gets booked, the question you can’t answer</p><p>* Why pleasure isn’t indulgence. It’s information.</p><p>* Why midlife, as disorienting as it feels, might actually be the moment desire finally gets loud enough to hear</p><p>If you’ve been feeling that low hum of something missing, this one’s for you.</p><p><p>This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></p><p></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Ashley Kelsch at <a href="https://ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe</a>
August 24, 2025
Midlife and the ‘I Can’t Believe This Is My Life’ Moment
<p>Ever look around and think, “I can’t believe this is my life”? </p><p>You’re not failing—you’re human, and midlife has a way of making even the most accomplished among us question everything. </p><p>Today on Unfucking Midlife, I am digging into the shame, comparison, and identity shifts that hit hard in midlife—and how to flip the script, understand what’s really happening in your brain and body, and turn “Is this it?” into “How can I make this matter?”</p><p><strong>In This Episode:</strong></p><p><strong>What You’ll Discover:</strong></p><p>* <strong>The shame spiral:</strong> Feeling embarrassed about where you are and why you’re not alone</p><p>* <a target="_blank" href="https://bookshop.org/a/106585/9781401964368"><strong>Gap vs Gain thinking</strong></a><strong>:</strong> Dan Sullivan and Dr. Hardy’s powerful framework that changes everything </p><p>* <strong>Momentum vs milestones:</strong> The difference between busy work and meaningful progress</p><p>* <strong>Professional identity shifts:</strong> From “I used to be somebody” to “I’m becoming someone new”</p><p>* <strong>The Hedonic Horizon:</strong> Why happiness keeps moving and how to keep up</p><p>* <strong>Ownership without blame:</strong> Forgiving your past choices and reclaiming your power</p><p>* <strong>Starting over as a beginner:</strong> Why curiosity is your midlife superpower</p><p><strong>The Real Cost of Staying Stuck</strong></p><p>* How constant comparison and “gap thinking” trigger stress and anxiety</p><p>* Why social media makes it harder to feel content</p><p>* What chasing outdated identities does to your confidence and energy</p><p><strong>Practical Tools You Can Use Today</strong></p><p>* <strong>Gain inventory:</strong> Write down three things you learned, one problem you solved each week</p><p>* <strong>Ownership mantra:</strong> “I made the best decision I could with what I knew then”</p><p>* <strong>Aligned action:</strong> One small step this week toward what actually matters</p><p>* <strong>Time audit questions:</strong> “Is this serving me? Do I really want this? Is this current or outdated?”</p><p><strong>Key Quotes:</strong></p><p>* “Who decided by 50 you should have the dream career, perfect marriage, ideal body, and financial security? Show me this person—I have questions.”</p><p>* “Midlife isn’t a decline—it’s a recalibration. You’re not running out of time; you’re running out of patience for what doesn’t matter.”</p><p>* “Your best decisions were made with the tools and capacity you had then. Forgive yourself and move forward.”</p><p><strong>Share This Episode</strong></p><p>If this episode hits home, share it. Send it to a friend who’s questioning everything in midlife, post it to your stories, or bring it up in your group text. There’s a message here someone you know needs to hear.</p><p><strong>Listen or Watch:</strong></p><p>You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch the full episode on YouTube. </p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@unfuckingmidlife">Subscribe to my channel for</a> the video version of every episode plus bonus content.</p><p><strong>Today’s Episode is Supported By:</strong></p><p>Sexual wellness—and moving through perimenopause—is a huge part of Unfucking Midlife. Finding products that actually work and feel good in your body is transformative.</p><p>I’m thrilled to share <strong>Foria’s newest product, Mellow</strong>, a magnesium drink designed to calm the nervous system, ease stress, lift brain fog, and promote restful sleep—without the crash or grogginess of traditional aids.</p><p>It’s so much more than magnesium. Mellow’s science-backed blend includes:</p><p>* <strong>Three highly bioavailable forms of magnesium</strong> (lactate gluconate, aquamin, glycinate)</p><p>* <strong>GABA and L-theanine</strong> to calm the mind</p><p>* <strong>70+ essential trace minerals</strong> for whole-body support</p><p><strong>Get 20% off at </strong><a target="_blank" href="https://foriawellness.com/unfuckingmidlife"><strong>foriawellness.com/unfuckingmidlife</strong></a><strong>.</strong></p><p></p><p><p>Unfucking Midlife is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></p><p></p><p></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Unfucking Midlife at <a href="https://ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe</a>
July 15, 2025
The Midlife Sex Revolution: Why Women Are Finally Getting What They Want With Dr. Holly Richmond
<p>Sometimes it takes reaching midlife to finally understand what you actually want in the bedroom. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Holly Richmond, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist, for an incredibly honest conversation about the sexual awakening happening for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond.</p><p>We dive deep into why Gen X women are reportedly having the best sex of their lives, the role hormones play in desire, and how authenticity becomes the foundation of sexual wellness in midlife. This isn't just about having better sex—it's about reclaiming pleasure, understanding your body's changes, and showing up as who you really are.</p><p><strong>In This Episode:</strong></p><p><strong>The Midlife Sexual Awakening:</strong></p><p>* Why women in their 40s and 50s are experiencing unprecedented sexual confidence</p><p>* How authenticity becomes the foundation of sexual wellness</p><p>* The difference between desire (psychological wanting) and arousal (physiological response)</p><p><strong>The Hormone Factor:</strong></p><p>* Why that flawed study 30 years ago scared women away from HRT</p><p>* How declining estrogen and testosterone affect libido during menopause</p><p>* Getting hormone levels checked every 6 months (and pushing back when doctors dismiss you)</p><p><strong>Relationship Dynamics That Actually Matter:</strong></p><p>* The crucial question: "Are you having sex worth wanting?"</p><p>* Why it's now 50/50 whether the man or woman is the higher-desire partner</p><p>* Leading with curiosity when introducing new elements</p><p>* Navigating performance anxiety and past trauma that surfaces</p><p><strong>Practical Tools for Self-Discovery:</strong></p><p>* Sexual template work: discovering what you find sexy through the five senses</p><p>* Creating "erotic flexibility" to prevent habituation</p><p>* Why you might need toys now (and why that's completely normal)</p><p><strong>Dating After Divorce:</strong></p><p>* How past trauma resurfaces with new partners</p><p>* The concept of "marrying your unfinished business"</p><p>* Why therapy support is crucial when re-entering the dating world</p><p><strong>Key Quotes:</strong></p><p>"Sexual wellness for women in midlife is a lot about authenticity. It's showing up as we really are."</p><p>"The more sex we have, the more sex we want. Sex is a muscle. If we don't use it, we lose it."</p><p>"Are you having sex worth wanting? We've been asking the wrong question for decades."</p><p>"We marry our unfinished business."</p><p><strong>Resources Mentioned:</strong></p><p><strong>Books:</strong></p><p>* <a target="_blank" href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684038421/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_23S5K0K1N40KRX45VKS1">"Reclaiming Pleasure"</a> by Dr. Holly Richmond</p><p>* <a target="_blank" href="https://bookshop.org/a/106585/9780525577171">"The Upgrade"</a> by Dr. Louann Brizendine</p><p>* <a target="_blank" href="https://bookshop.org/a/106585/9781250310538">"Getting the Love You Want"</a> by Harville Hendrix</p><p>* Various works by <a target="_blank" href="https://bookshop.org/a/106585/9781982165314">Emily Nagoski</a>, <a target="_blank" href="https://bookshop.org/a/106585/9780367181376">Peggy Kleinplatz</a>, and <a target="_blank" href="https://bookshop.org/a/106585/9780062322593">Esther Perel</a></p><p><strong>Services:</strong></p><p>* Dr. Holly's wellness retreats </p><p>https://sacredsurrendermedicine.com/women-survivors-retreat/</p><p>https://www.tandavaretreats.com/retreats/womens-sexual-trauma</p><p>* Work with Dr. Holly: </p><p>https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com/</p><p><strong>Connect with Dr. Holly Richmond:</strong></p><p>* Instagram: </p><p>* @drhollyrichmond</p><p>* Website: </p><p>https://drhollyrichmond.com/</p><p></p><p><strong>Share This Episode:</strong> If this conversation opened your eyes to something new about midlife sexuality, please share it. Send it to that friend who's been struggling with desire changes, or post it in your stories. When you share these conversations, you're helping other women realize they're not alone in navigating the sexual changes that come with midlife.</p><p><strong>Today's Episode is Supported By:</strong> As we're talking about sexual wellness and reclaiming pleasure in midlife, I wanted to share something that's been a game-changer for so many women in this community. Finding products that actually work and feel good in your body can be transformative.</p><p>Check out my favorites from Foria Wellness and receive 20% off! Foriawellness.com/unfuckingmidlife <strong>Life changing all-natural sexual wellness formulas for your intimate needs.</strong> From menstruation through menopause, they've created products specifically designed to support women through every stage of life.</p><p></p><p><p>Unfucking Midlife is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></p><p></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Unfucking Midlife at <a href="https://ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe</a>
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