You Can Tell Us

About You Can Tell Us

Conversations between passionate friends working in related fields, on psycho-social issues in Maldives and Asia

Publisher

You Can Tell Us

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

12 Jan 2024

Latest episode

29 Mar 2024

Latest episodes

12 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   29 Mar 2024

   ނަފުސަށް އަޅާލުން

   From skincare to mindfulness apps, the market for self-care products and services has exploded, reflecting a cultural shift towards prioritising personal well-being. Yet amidst the allure of trendy self-care, there is a growing importance of authentic self-care practices that go beyond superficial trends and address individual needs. In this week's episode, Raya (biomedicine graduate working in public health) and Saba (psychology graduate) discuss this important topic through shared personal experiences and acquired knowledge on the subject. (00:00) - Introduction (01:00) - What is Self-care? (02:00) - Self-care looks different for everybody (03:30) - Self-care doesn't need to done alone (04:11) - Self-care needs to a priority (06:20) - Self-care may take different forms (07:10) - Mundane tasks can be therapeutic (08:50) - To be your best self, self-care is a necessity (09:30) - Self-care can give you a sense of fullfilment (11:00) - Self-care won't change your life in one day - consistency is key (12:40) - Seeking help when needed is a form of self-care (14:00) - Self-care might look different in different phases of life for a single person as it might for different people (21:00) - If constant exposure to something is affacting your mental health, its important to take a break (22:00) - The current global situation is anything but ideal, and it's all confoundingly distressing (23:00) - Pririotising yourself is not selfish (23:40) - Feeling guilty and low about things out of your control is normal - it just means you are human (25:00) - You can't pour from an empty glass (27:00) - Using 'self-care' for selfish reasons isn't self-care (30:00) - Summarising and wrapping up

2. 

   22 Mar 2024

   Self Harm Awareness

   Trigger Warning: freuquent mentions of Self harm/Self injury March is globally observed as self-harm awareness month. For this reason, we have dedicated this week's episode to this cause. The purpose of dedicating a month to self-harm awareness is to emphasize its prevalence within society, create awareness about it, and provide support to those who struggle with it. In this episode, Leen (trainee clinical psychologist) and Saba (psychology graduate) discuss what entails self-harm or self-injury, the reasons leading up to this, some ways self-harm can show up, how to recognize it, how to seek and offer help. This episode highlights the importance of normalising such difficult conversations as a means to reach out to people suffering silently wthout receiving the care that they need, hushed by the judgment of society. (00:47) - Trigger Warning: Frequent mentions of self-harm (01:45) - What is self-harm (02:18) - Myth: Everyone who self-harms wants to die (03:01) - Correlation between MH disorders and self-harm (03:50) - Why do people self-harm (07:50) - A desire to get rid of emotions and emotional distress (08:25) - Trying to get rid of emotions usually cause the emotions to become stronger (09:36) - Risky coping mechanism (10:18) - How others can help when someone they love self-harms: difficult to understand the intensity of emotional distress (11:12) - Subjectivity of emotions as individuals (12:45) - How you react to someone you love self-harming (13:50) - Stigma motivates hiding self-harm (14:21) - How should we react: coming from a place of understanding and spotting patterns (16:11) - People who self-harm don’t want to be self-harming (16:48) - Finding the right time to talk about (17:27) - Being curious and non-judgemental (18:25) - Be on the lookout for difficult things happening in a loved one’s life (19:05) - Being non-judgemental of one’s owns feelings if you have self-harm habits/urges (20:29) - Acknowledging the urge to self-harm as a feeling (22:10) - Recognizing your own strength, and not running away from your own emotions through self-harm (23:16) - Listing alternative coping methods as a replacement (24:35) - Making spaces that you are in safer by removing access to methods of self-harm (25:27) - Seeking professional help (26:00) - Normalize going to therapy before things get unbearable (28:00) - You don’t need to see evidence of self-harm to be there for people you love (29:02) - The importance of a support system (29:30) - Becoming open to emotions and their functions (30:21) - Final thoughts

3. 

   15 Mar 2024

   Procastination

   In this week's episode, Raya and Saba talked about procrastination, a topic that a lot of us can relate to at some level. Even though the term procrastination is casually thrown around a lot in today's conversations, it is an action with many devastating consequences. This episode covers prominent reasons why we procrastinate, why procrastination is so hard to stop, and some effective methods to combat it. Our podcast is available on Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, and Spotify. (00:19) - Introduction (00:50) - What is procrastination? (01:40) - Root causes of procrastination (03:40) - What does procrastination leads to..? (04:30) - Result of procrastination can itself be reinforcing it (07:47) - Procrastination can lead to a vicious cycle that's hard to escape from (08:16) - Effects of procrastination can be different for different people (08:30) - More on the reasons behind procrastination (12:17) - In hindsight things could be very different from reality (13:40) - Procrastination can give a false sense gratification or relief (14:38) - Procrastination is an easy decision to make (15:18) - Using 'mental health breaks"/"self-care" as an excuse to procrastinate (15:50) - It can be very hard to escape the cycle of procrastination (16:40) - Personality can be a contributing factor (17:53) - Symptoms of some mental health conditions can be almost indistinguishable from procrastination (18:40) - Seek help if it's affecting functioning (21:10) - ways to work around procrastination (25:00) - discipline and creating habits (28:30) - giving yourself space and time to procrastinate (30:00) - being mindful of your actions and progress (31:35) - being kind to yourself (33:00) - wrap up and final thoughts

4. 

   8 Mar 2024

   A Guide on Beginning Therapy

   Joined by Leen (trainee clinical psychologist) and Mikhail (assistant clinical psychologist, in tonight’s episode Raya shoots some important questions and concerns that people have about beginning therapy. From what to expect from a first session to what different ways of ending therapy look like, we share from our own experiences as clients and service providers. Our aim was to de-mystify therapy (as much as time allowed) and hopefully, to lend a light to those toeing the line of seeking help. (00:38) - What would you do first to make a therapy appointment (03:20) - Which path would you recommend- psychiatrist route or directly to psychologist (06:06) - Realities of therapy in public hospital (08:09) - General doctors referring you to psychologists (MH being in primary care) (10:50) - Manifestation of emotional pain as physical pain (12:25) - What can a person expect from their first session (Similar to going to the gym) (14:19) - Intro to a CBT based group session (16:55) - Setting up expectation for the client as a therapist (19:07) - Therapy is not the equivalent of a doctor’s appointment (21:10) - Don’t give up on therapy because of a bad experience; shop for a therapist that is a better fit (23:00) - Normalizing therapists’ strengths and weaknesses (25:27) - Does therapy have homework? (35:18) - Is there a way to finish therapy or complete it? (36:10) - Therapy may not end ideally for many people (36:30) - If a decision is made to terminate therapy, there would be a final discussion with the therapist (37:00) - Sometimes you may naturally feel satisfied about ending therapy (37:25) - Restarting therapy (38:30) - Therapy and lack of personal growth (39:32) - Your goals for therapy may change overtime while in therapy (40:37) - Both stagnancy and change during therapy can lead to self development 42:28 - End of conversation and final reflections

5. 

   1 Mar 2024

   އޯގާތެރިކަން އަމަލުން ދެއްކުން: އޯގާވެރި ޖީލެއް ބިނާ ކުރުމަށްޓަކައި ހައްސާސް

   "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them” – James A. Baldwin As adults who interact with children at some level or another, we all bear a responsibility to nurture them to be good human beings. Kindness, as we all can agree, is at the heart of being a good human. In this episode, Saba and Raya discussed the importance of modeling kindness and tolerance for impressionable young minds that soak up everything they witness around them like a sponge in water. We delve into psychosocial concepts that explain why modeling is so vital for children and how we can incorporate good modeling behaviors into our lifestyles. (00:00) - Introduction (01:30) - What is kindness and its associated characteristics? (02:50) - Thinking at the level of the kids (04:00) - Why modeling is so important? (04:40) - World/self-view formed during childhood is mostly stable across the lifespan (05:02) - Nature Vs Nurture (06:00) - Children copy everything (07:50) – Practice what you preach (09:00) – It is important to give children space to feel (11:50) – Do not command children but rather explain (13:00) – Habits/lifestyles are formed with time (14:40) – Anger is a natural emotion (15:20) – Things kids can practice to control their emotions (17:11) – Get professional help when needed (17:40) – What happens when a child grows up without a proper role model (19:30) – The consequences extend to all aspects of life (21:40) – It's hard to change our preconceived beliefs (23:30) – What can we do to foster kindness (25:50) – Media influences behavior (31:08) – To change the system, young minds need to be nurtured (31:50) – Teach kids about control (33:30) – Make learning fun (34:00) – Importance of reinforcement (37:20) – Kindness doesn’t mean saying yes to everyone/everything (39:16) – What is misguided kindness? (43:14) – Wrapping up

6. 

   23 Feb 2024

   ރޯދަމަހަށް ތައްޔާރުވުން: ނަފްސާނީ ދުޅަހެޔޮކަމުގެ ނަޒަރަކުން

   Trigger warning: Mentions of eating disorders Spiritual, mental, and physical well-being are very much interconnected. We focused this week's episode on preparing for Ramadan, with a special focus on mental health struggles that some people might face during this time. In this episode, Saba and Rifoo looked into some reasons behind these seasonal struggles and some simple yet, important steps that we can take to relieve some difficulties and enjoy the blessed month to the best of its possibilities. (00:21) - Introduction (01:27) - Why Ramadan can be a stressful time for some people? (02:06) - Unmet expectations can be hard (02:50) - Feeling of guilt and shame that come with expectations (04:00) - There could be many reasons behind these unmet expectations (05:50) - Intention and effort matters (06:30) - Don'be too hard on your self (08:30) - Brief explanation on eating disorders (09:50) - Some simple things you can do if you struggle with an eating disorder (11:50) - Delay your Suhoor (12:26) - Consult your clinician before Ramadan (13:50) - Importance of actively looking for best practices from valid sources (14:40) - Gut health is related to mental health (16:23) - Cooking healthy can help you eat healthy (18:25) - Ask for help if you need it, accept it when offered and reach out if you know someone is struggling (19:40) - Planning is key!! (19:50) - Plan according to 3 x 10 days of Ramadan (23:00) - Actions that can be taken to physically prepare for Ramadan (23:20) - Fasting before Ramadan (24:30) - Cleaning (26:00) - Journalling (27:00) - Extreme changes in sleeping patterns can be distruptive in many ways (29:20) - Maintain the good habits formed during the Ramdan even after

7. 

   16 Feb 2024

   ގާތުން އެހީތެރިކަން ފޯރުކޮށްދޭނެ ބަޔަކާއި ނުލާ ނަފްސާނީ ދުޅަހެޔޮކަން ދެމެހެއްޓުން

   On tonight’s episode, Mikhail and Rifoo talk about the struggles of healing or going through a tough time without a support system. They bring to the table tips on how you can show up for yourself more, while acknowledging the difficulty of doing just that- especially if those that you’re surrounded with are not able or willing to be there for you. (00:20) - Introduction (00:40) - What's a support system? (01:00) - Why support is so important? (02:00) - Who can be a part of our support system? (03:35) - We tend to take our support system for granted when life is 'normal' (04:00) - We are not helpless even when there is no support system (05:30) - What happens when support systems fail? (06:34) - Stigma plays a big role (07:13) - Choosing ourselves over holding grudges (07:50) - Priorotising ourselves isn't selfish (08:15) - What can we do to heal? (10:25) - making time for gratitude (11:50) - making room for tiny changes that amount to a lot (12:45) - putting your toe in the ocean/ diving into it analogy (13:35) - boxing/sweating out your irritability (15:05) - cheap, small joys (15:25) - grounding yourself mindfully (16:10) - breaking out of the funk (16:40) - frustration with people you love (17:40) - setting boundaries with people who don’t understand after an honest dialogue (19:30) - people who care may not have resources to give (20:30) - learning to ask for help when you need it

8. 

   9 Feb 2024

   (English) Social Media, Loneliness, & FOMO

   “How are we influenced by social media? And who are we in spite of it?” In tonight’s episode, Raya and Leen discuss the gravity of the anxiety felt when we experience FOMO (the fear of missing out). We dig into the complexities of what it means to be exposed to content that makes us question how accepted/worthy we are as people. We take a look at minimizing the effects of FOMO, exploring the possible joy/fun of missing out. And on the other side of the coin- how media can be used to deepen our experiences in connection. Timestamps: (00:50) - What is FOMO (02:50) - Correlation between social media and feeling disconnected (03:30) - Curated nature of content (04:10) - Success/Achievement comparison (07:25) - Being authentic on media (09:45) - What does a real connection mean (11:25) - Building real connections (13:15) - What FOMO can lead to in young people (13:55) - Types of FOMO (16:20) - Wanting to fit in (17:20) - Trend cycles and how it traps you (20:05) - Mental health effects of FOMO (21:00) - The struggles of teenagehood being worsened by media (22:35) - Minimizing FOMO (22:45) - Meeting people you have real connections with (24:30) - Deepening friendships through media (26:34) - Social media has devalued the value of frienships (26:40) - Putting an effort should not be substituted with an instagram story like (27:03) - JOMO or FOMO (28:15) - The negative correlation between mood and time spent scrolling (30:30) - Social media makes you feel disconnected from the real world (31:30) - Sometimes FOMO could be productive (33:05) - Can the 'FOMO productivity' be toxic? (33:30) - Wrapping up

9. 

   2 Feb 2024

   (English) Navigating Teen Relationships: Through the Lens of Parents and Teens

   Trigger Warning; mentions of interpersonal violence, child grooming, and rape “We grown up with certain values, because of religion, and culture, and family- and remembering to respect those values within ourselves and those that we love is something to keep in mind for all of us. No matter our age.” In our fourth episode, Leen and Saba discuss some important elements of the teen dating scene. We explore some of the factors that play into teenage romance, how it can impact emotional growth and wellbeing, as well as some unhealthy/abusive patterns we sometimes observe in these relationships. We do not hold a particular stance on teenage dating, but attempt to provide some insight through the lens of a teenager. Importantly, we also put our adult caps on and discussed how parents, mentors, and adults involved in a teen’s life can help them navigate the generally challenging period of growing up, falling into feelings, and perhaps even, potential heartbreak. Timestamps: (02:53) - Why and how teenage dating begins (04:00) - Biology of teenage dating (04:48) - Exposure to romance/hyper-sexualization on media (6:00) - Strained relationships between teenagers and their parents (07:15)- Peer pressure (09:00) - Teenage brain and development (10:50) - Social belongingness and acceptance (11:35) - Toeing the line between being a kid and an adult (12:55) - How adults react/what to be wary of as a parent (16:45) - Difficult/harmful situations in teenage relationships (19:15) - How to better ensure safety of teenagers (21:30) - Fostering better bonds with your child (22:00) - A child can be a perpetrator (22:40) - Parents' reaction to child victimization (23:27) - Creating/becoming a safe space for children to confide (24:13) - Prevantative strategies (24:50) - Good kids get trapped in bad situations (26:24) - Child grooming (27:06) - It is every adults' responsibility to be there for children (27:40) - Unrealistic expectations can lead to despair (29:00) - Show genuine interest in kids' lives BEFORE something happens (31:11) - Every relationship should be based on mutual love and respect (32:19) - Teaching kids about consent and boundaries (35:00) - Importance of sex education (37:50) - Sex education is not immoral (39:00) - Sex eduation should be age appropriate (39:50) -Improper sexual exposure can lead to problems later in life (41:00) - Wrapping up Journal article mentioned by Leen: Romantic Love, Hypomania, and Sleep Pattern in Adolescents (https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(07)00026-2/pdf (https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(07)00026-2/pdf))

10. 

    27 Jan 2024

    Religion and Suicide

    Trigger Warning: frequent mentions of suicide “How can we come to perceive something as difficult as suicide through a lens of mercy, when we don’t know our religion’s mercy in the first place?” In our third episode of You Can Tell Us, Saba, Leen, and Rifoo discuss how our perception of Islam as Maldivians affect our understanding of suicide. We try to break down the interaction of culture and religion, and lay out facts from Islam in regards to how it speaks of suicide. This was our humble attempt at highlighting the mercy of Allah and how we often forget to reserve judgement for the One who created us. Disclaimer: we are not Islamic scholars, all information stated is from research of Islamic scholars and verified hadith (refer below) Additional note from Leen: I mentioned that all mental health disorders are treatable along with mentioning the preventable nature of suicide at 37:00. This was not to imply an easy cure for every disorder, but in reference to individuals who suffer from all mental health disorders being able to live meaningful lives through help and assistance from community and the right resources. Timestamps: (2:07) - Society’s initial reaction to suicide through a religious lens (4:05) - Religion’s interaction with culture (5:10) - Lack of religious knowledge (8:27) - Difficulties in shifting religious mindset (10:13) - Lack of accessibility of religious resources to older population (12:45) - Facts about suicide in Islam (18:32) - Beauty of Islam (19:30) - Mercy of Allah SWT (21:30) - How culturally influenced religious perspective about suicide affects help/treatment seeking behavior (23:20) - Muslims' contributions to the field of mental health (25:00) - Why we shouldn't say mental health isn't apart of Islam (28:50) - The relationship between mental distress and faith is not causal but rather correlational (31:00) - The repercussions of the distrust in Allah's mercy (34:00) - Importance of knowing the difference between religion and culture (34:40) - Highlighting the importance of actively trying to learn the religion (36:50) - Suicide is preventable

11. 

    26 Jan 2024

    Post Suicide Perceptions

    Trigger Warning; frequent mentions of suicide “There is no time limit on grief.” In our second episode of You Can Tell Us, Saba and Rifoo discuss the aftermath of a suicide in society. Looking at the emotions of deep grief, shame, and even guilt on the part of the victim’s loved ones, and how reactions from society may influence those emotions, Saba and Rifoo reflect on how we can be present for those who are hurting. They also dive into preventative measures that we can be taking on an individual level and a policy level. Timestamps: (00:00) - Introduction (02:00) - Parental impact on children passing away by suicide (02:53) - Family roles and understanding aftermath (04:34) - Blaming, shaming, and guilt (05:20) - Understanding grief (08:40) - Coping mechanisms for grief (12:20) - Society’s take on aftermath (13:07) - Community’s role in providing support to the victim’s family (14:40) - Suicide prevention as individuals (17:55) - Suicide prevention on a policy/community level (18:30) - Self care as a prevention strategy (19:00) - Mental health disorders and the correlation with risk of suicide (20:45) - Knowing the warning signs (24:00) - Policy level framework for further awareness (28:00) - Media handling of suicide reporting

12. 

    12 Jan 2024

    Perception of Suicide in Maldives

    In this episode, we explore the intricate layers of suicide, the language used to talk about it, how to help a loved one on the verge of suicide and navigate them through the health care system

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