When a relationship ends, it can feel like the world is breaking apart — legally, emotionally and practically. The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast exists to guide you through that difficult landscape with clarity, compassion and a child-focused mindset.
Each episode, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins draw on their extensive experience within the family law system to unpack what separation and divorce really look like — not just on paper, but in real life.
They believe that families deserve dignity, children deserve protection, and adults deserve guidance that is calm, respectful and grounded in expertise rather than conflict.
Together, they explore the issues so many couples face when separating, including:
How to divorce with dignity
Understanding the family court process
What to expect in mediation
How to co-parent respectfully and consistently
Financial and property settlement — explained in plain English
Parenting arrangements after divorce
How to avoid court and resolve disputes constructively
Practical tips for separating parents
Child-focused decision making and emotional awareness
When to involve a lawyer or barrister
Better communication during conflict and separation
And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.
Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.
Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.
Real law. Real families. Real conversations.
Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.
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Publisher
Darren Mort-Family Law Barrister & Joplin Higgins-Family Law Solicitor
Who Gets the Dog? Pets, Property and the Emotional Custody Battle in Divorce
In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) explore one of the most emotionally charged and increasingly common issues in modern separation: what happens to pets during divorce?
With a special guest appearance from “Buddy” 🐶, the conversation unpacks how Australian family law now treats pets—legally defined as “companion animals”—and what that means for separating couples.
Pets Are Now “Companion Animals” Under the Law
The episode opens with a major legal update:
Under recent changes to the Family Law Act, pets are now formally recognised as companion animals
However, they are still legally classified as property
This means:
No “custody” or “residence” orders in the traditional sense
Courts determine ownership and possession, not shared parenting arrangements
Why Pets Matter So Much in Separation
Both hosts acknowledge the emotional reality:
Pets are often seen as “fur babies”
They play a significant emotional role in family structures
Attachment can be strong for:
Children
Partners
Entire households
Despite this emotional significance, the law still treats them through a property lens, not a family member lens.
How Courts Decide Who Gets the Pet
The hosts break down the key factors courts consider:
Who is the registered owner
Who purchased the animal
Who performs daily care:
Feeding
Walking
Grooming
Veterinary care
Who has had the primary relationship with the pet
The court may also consider:
Financial responsibility
Living arrangements post-separation
Practical ability to care for the animal
Family Violence and Pets
A serious and important aspect of the discussion:
Pets can be used as tools in coercive control and emotional abuse
Courts recognise that animals may be:
Subject to harm
Used to intimidate or manipulate a partner or children
This can influence outcomes where safety concerns exist
No “Shared Custody” of Pets (Legally)
One of the clearest legal points in the episode:
Australian family law does not recognise shared care arrangements for pets
Outcomes are limited to:
One party retaining ownership
Transfer of ownership
Sale or disposal of the animal (rare and undesirable outcome)
The hosts reflect on how this contrasts with common informal agreements people try to make (e.g. “week-on, week-off pet arrangements”), which have no formal legal standing under the Act.
Emotional and Legal Conflict in Pet Disputes
The episode highlights real-world tensions:
Pets are often used as leverage in separation disputes
Disputes can reflect deeper relationship breakdown issues
Courts are increasingly aware of:
Strategic use of pets in negotiations
Emotional pressure placed through pet possession
Case Insight: When Attachment Collides with Ownership
A case example discussed:
A child formed a strong attachment to a dog
Despite emotional factors, the court awarded the dog to the parent who was the primary owner and caregiver
Key takeaway:
Emotional attachment is considered, but does not override ownership and caregiving evidence.
The Parrot in Court – A Humorous Legal Anecdote 🦜
A memorable story from the episode:
A court dispute over a macaw parrot
The bird repeated insulting phrases during proceedings
The judge observed the behaviour and awarded the bird to the husband
The story highlights:
How unpredictable evidence can be
The humorous reality of property disputes involving animals
Strategic Insight: Pets Can Become Leverage
The hosts caution listeners that:
Pets can unintentionally become bargaining tools
Early legal advice is important to avoid escalation
Courts are increasingly attentive to underlying coercion or manipulation
Connect with Dear Divorce Diary
Follow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce.
Available on:
YouTube
Spotify
TikTok
Instagram
LinkedIn
Listeners are encouraged to continue sending topic suggestions, questions, and lived experiences via social media DMs for future episodes.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
17 Jul 2026
Can You Withhold the Kids? When Court Orders Clash with Reality in Divorce
In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack one of the most emotionally charged and legally risky issues in parenting disputes: withholding children when court orders are in place—or when they’re about to be made.
Through candid discussion, practical legal insight, and real courtroom dynamics, the episode explores when (if ever) a parent can justify not complying with parenting orders, and what consequences follow when they do.
⚖️ Key Themes & Discussion Breakdown
The Golden Rule: Court Orders Must Be Followed
The episode opens with a firm reminder from both hosts:
Court orders are not optional.
Parents who unilaterally withhold children risk serious legal consequences.
Even where frustration or concern exists, the legal system expects compliance first, action through the courts second.
Darren emphasizes a strong judicial expectation of adherence unless there is a genuine and urgent safety concern.
When Can a Parent Withhold Children?
Joplin outlines the narrow exceptions where withholding may be justified:
Exposure to family violence
Drug or alcohol abuse impacting safety
Neglect or serious risk factors
However, both hosts stress a key distinction:
Genuine risk ≠ assumptions, suspicion, or emotional reaction.
They highlight a common problem in family law:
Parents sometimes withhold based on beliefs (“he might be using drugs”) rather than evidence.
Courts require a clear evidentiary foundation, not speculation.
What Happens When a Parent Withholds a Child?
If a parent refuses to comply:
The other parent may bring a recovery application
The court may involve the Australian Federal Police (AFP) to locate and return children
Orders can escalate to warrants and enforcement mechanisms
The withholding parent must later justify their actions in court
Key warning:
If you withhold first and explain later, you are already at a disadvantage.
The “Front Foot” Strategy (Critical Advice)
Both hosts agree on best practice:
If you believe there is risk:
File an application in proceedings immediately
Provide a detailed affidavit explaining concerns
Consider updating a Notice of Risk
Seek urgent legal advice
This approach:
Protects the parent legally
Ensures transparency with the court
Reduces criticism for unilateral action
Supervised Contact & Interim Solutions
The episode explores supervised arrangements:
Supervised contact centres can provide independent observation evidence
They can ensure child safety while maintaining parental relationships
However, courts are reluctant to impose long-term supervision
Contravention vs Recovery Applications
A detailed procedural discussion covers:
Recovery Applications
Focus: returning a child to compliance with orders
Can trigger AFP involvement
Contravention Applications
Focus: punishing breaches of orders
Potential outcomes:
Fines
Orders for counselling
Parenting programs
In extreme cases, imprisonment
However, both hosts note:
Contravention applications are often slow, expensive, and strategically complex
Courts frequently encourage parties to streamline proceedings
Weaponisation of Children in Disputes
A major theme of the episode is misuse of allegations:
Courts are alert to strategic withholding
Emotional conflict between parents must not override child-focused reasoning
Judges scrutinise whether claims are:
Genuine protection concerns
Or relational retaliation
Key Legal Insight: Best Interests of the Child
Throughout the episode, the guiding principle remains:
Children’s relationships with each parent are separate from parental conflict.
Courts assess:
Safety
Stability
Emotional wellbeing
Capacity of each parent to support the other relationship
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10 Jul 2026
Can You Take My Kids Overseas? — The Relocation Battle Every Separated Parent Fears
In this emotionally charged and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle one of the most heartbreaking and legally complex issues in family law: relocation after separation.
What happens when one parent wants to move interstate… or overseas… with the children?
Can the court stop a parent from leaving Australia?
Does a mother or father have the “right” to move home?
What happens when children are caught between two countries, two cultures, and two parents who both love them?
Through a powerful role-play scenario involving a separated Australian-Norwegian family, Darren and Joplin unpack exactly how relocation disputes unfold inside the Family Court — from emotional arguments and legal strategy to parenting proposals and the harsh reality of what judges actually look for.
This episode explores the devastating emotional impact relocation cases can have on families, while giving listeners a rare behind-the-scenes look at how these cases are argued, assessed, and ultimately decided.
🌍 International Relocation After Divorce
Darren and Joplin explore what happens when one parent wants to relocate internationally with children following separation — particularly where one parent feels isolated, unsupported, or desperately wants to return to family overseas.
The episode examines:
Moving overseas after divorce or separation
Relocating interstate with children
The difference between a parent’s rights and a child’s best interests
Whether courts can stop a parent from leaving Australia
The emotional impact of relocation litigation
The Norway Scenario: A Realistic Courtroom Role Play
Through an emotionally realistic mock separation between “Svetlana” and her Australian husband, the episode demonstrates:
How relocation disputes begin
Common mistakes parents make during negotiations
How quickly conversations become adversarial
Why wording and attitude matter in court
The danger of becoming positional and hostile
The fictional scenario highlights issues including:
Sick overseas parents
Cultural identity
Children with dual heritage
Long-distance parenting
Schooling and support systems
Maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents
Key Legal Topics Discussed
⚖️ What Judges Look For in Relocation Cases
Darren and Joplin explain that relocation cases are not about “winning” as a parent — they are about what is in the best interests of the children.
Key considerations include:
The child’s relationship with each parent
Existing care arrangements
Emotional and practical support available overseas
Whether the relocating parent can facilitate ongoing contact
Schooling and stability
Financial practicality
Long-term parenting proposals
Emotional wellbeing of the relocating parent
✈️ Can the Court Stop a Parent Leaving Australia?
The episode discusses:
Airport watchlists and injunctions
Recovery orders
Relocation applications
Interim versus final hearings
Why courts rarely make permanent relocation decisions urgently
Listeners gain insight into how quickly relocation matters can escalate once one parent fears the children may leave the country.
📱 Technology and Long-Distance Parenting
Darren and Joplin discuss how modern communication tools like:
FaceTime
Skype
Video calls
Messaging apps
have changed the way courts assess international parenting arrangements.
But they also explain the harsh truth:
Technology can help maintain relationships — but it can never fully replace physical parenting time.
The Importance of Child-Focused Proposals
One of the strongest themes throughout the episode is this:
Connect with Dear Divorce Diary
Follow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce.
Available on:
YouTube
Spotify
TikTok
Instagram
LinkedIn
Listeners are encouraged to continue sending topic suggestions, questions, and lived experiences via social media DMs for future episodes.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.
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