Unfiltered conversations unfold between “Gary” and “Selena” as everyday observations slide into cultural commentary, media obsession, relationship dynamics, and moments that probably should have stayed private. Nothing is structured and very little is filtered.<br /><br />Topics drift from movies, celebrities, and internet culture into arguments, confessions, and reactions that feel slightly too honest. Some exchanges are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some cross into territory that is occasionally highly inappropriate. <br /><br />“Gary” and “Selena” revisit disagreements, contradict themselves, escalate minor annoyances, and follow curiosity wherever it goes, without smoothing anything over. If you like sharp observations, messy honesty, and the feeling of being a fly on the wall during conversations you were never meant to hear, this is exactly that.
How To Become A Terrible Person
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Podcast Overview
Unfiltered conversations unfold between “Gary” and “Selena” as everyday observations slide into cultural commentary, media obsession, relationship dynamics, and moments that probably should have stayed private. Nothing is structured and very little is filtered.<br /><br />Topics drift from movies, celebrities, and internet culture into arguments, confessions, and reactions that feel slightly too honest. Some exchanges are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some cross into territory that is occasionally highly inappropriate. <br /><br />“Gary” and “Selena” revisit disagreements, contradict themselves, escalate minor annoyances, and follow curiosity wherever it goes, without smoothing anything over. If you like sharp observations, messy honesty, and the feeling of being a fly on the wall during conversations you were never meant to hear, this is exactly that.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
11/8/2018
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Recent Episodes
March 23, 2026
$150 at Cheesecake Factory and Now We Don’t Trust Dinosaurs
Gary and Selena open without a formal introduction and immediately spiral into a chaotic night out that turns into a full breakdown of modern restaurant culture. After trying multiple spots in East Mesa, they land at Cheesecake Factory, where a “15 minute wait” turns into nearly an hour of sitting behind a wobbly table hidden behind a pillar. The décor feels like Las Vegas meets Egyptian casino energy, the food is solid, but the final bill crosses $150 and sparks a full post dinner value debate about appetizers, alcohol, cheesecake slices, and whether peak dinner hours are ever worth it. From there the conversation jumps into Britney Spears news, viral interviews, and a deep dive into dinosaurs after watching a Morgan Freeman documentary.<br /><br />Gary questions how we confidently name ancient continents like Laurasia and Gondwana, how fossil timelines are determined, and whether global warming cycles are just part of the planet’s long term hot and cold shifts. That opens the door to bigger questions about history, moon landing skepticism, redacted government files, alien disclosure rumors, and the growing feeling that no one fully trusts official narratives anymore. They also talk reality television nostalgia, from early Road Rules and The Real World to Survivor prize money and modern competition shows that prioritize elimination over experience.<br /><br />Selena breaks down Bridgerton Season 3 frustrations, the rushed ending, the masked identity reveal, and how weeks of tension wrapped up in minutes. Back at home, Gary’s new obsession with succulents turns their porch into a full outdoor garden project with eleven planters, hanging plants, an aloe crisis, and multiple nursery visits. They debate recording episodes outside, talk about a father in Arkansas who killed his daughter’s alleged abductor and then ran for sheriff, and argue whether defending your child justifies crossing legal lines. The episode ends with cat chaos, sleep deprivation, robot army fears, Chinese military stage performances, and the idea that future wars may be fought by machines instead of people.
February 6, 2026
Turning 40, Losing Our Cool, and Arguing About Everything
Gary and Selena drift through everyday chaos, aging, intimacy, and irritation as a casual conversation about colors turns into reflections on turning forty, gift expectations, and the strange emotional weight attached to birthdays. They talk massages, tipping anxiety, overpriced upgrades, sore feet, and the disappointment of hot stone add-ons that miss the point. Domestic tension bubbles up through broken heirlooms, cats causing destruction, and disagreements about emotional reactions, overreacting, and what it means to feel heard during conflict.<br /><br />The conversation slides into awkward neighborhood encounters, paranoia about being overheard, public embarrassment, and how small moments spiral into resentment. Gary and Selena unpack bickering, criticism, Reddit reactions, and the thin line between honest conversation and uncomfortable listening. Travel stress enters the mix with airline seating changes, gate checking chaos, lost seats, and feeling powerless while following instructions. The episode winds through bugs, grasshoppers, bodily discomfort, television fatigue, relationship negotiations, and the quiet realization that everyday life feels louder, messier, and harder to smooth out than expected.
January 31, 2026
This Wasn’t on the Forecast
The hosts discuss true crime reliability, celebrity reputations, protest culture, travel expectations, paranoia jokes, tech dependence, and domestic chaos, exploring modern anxieties and societal observations.
489 total episodes available with 59 transcripts
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