How To Have Sex
Claim This Podcastby Jay-Jay Feeney & Melissa Vranjes
Podcast Overview
<h4>How To Have Sex is the sex education you never got at school, and have been quietly winging ever since. Hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. One very curious host and one expert who actually knows the answers. Every episode tackles a real topic: how to improve your sex life, how to talk about intimacy without killing the mood, how to have better orgasms, how to spice things up in a long-term relationship.... you get the idea. Shame-free, refreshingly practical, and occasionally so mortifying you'll need to pause it. New episodes weekly.</h4><h4><br></h4><h4>Hosted by:</h4><h4>Jay-Jay Feeney - 30+ years in radio, trusted voice for Kiwi women.</h4><h4>Melissa Vranjes - Certified Sex & Relationship Coach, featured in VOGUE & GRAZIA</h4><h4><br></h4><h4>Together, we combine humour and expert knowledge to normalise conversations around sexual wellness.</h4><h4>Breaking taboos. Building confidence. Supporting modern intimacy.</h4><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
2/27/2026
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Recent Episodes
June 23, 2026
How To Spice It Up In Long-Term Relationships
<p>Ever caught yourself calling your partner "babe" right before asking them to take the bins out, and that was basically the most romantic thing that happened all week? Yeah. This one's for you.</p><br><p>This week JJ and Mel are talking about how to bring the spice back into long-term relationships, and no, it doesn't start with a sex swing. They unpack why couples slip into "flatmate energy," the sneaky way resentment kills desire faster than tiredness ever could, and why foreplay actually starts at 11am, not 11pm. Mel breaks down brakes vs accelerators, spontaneous vs responsive desire, and why being too comfortable with your partner might be the actual problem. Plus: the spousal arousal radio story, a boat-bed confession gone wrong, and the case for bringing back a little "puppy energy" when your partner walks in the door.</p><br><p>If you and your partner have started to feel more like co-managers of a household than lovers, this episode is your sign to do something about it (and it's way less effort than you think).</p><br><p>How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> This podcast is proudly sponsored by <strong>Wild Secrets</strong>.</p><p> Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> & use the code <strong>HAVESEX</strong> for 20% off sitewide…</p><p> Pleasure Delivered.</p><br><p> <strong>JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!</strong></p><p><strong> SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK </strong><a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a></p><p><strong> INSTAGRAM </strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a></p><p> <strong>FACEBOOK </strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a></p><p> <strong>YOUTUBE</strong> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a></p><p> <strong>EMAIL</strong> <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a></p><p> <strong>Support the podcast! </strong><a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a></p><p> </p><p> How To Have Sex is produced by <strong>PodLab</strong>, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a></p><br><p> <strong>HOSTS:</strong></p><p><strong> Jay-Jay Feeney</strong> – Media Personality</p><p> Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ</p><p> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Melissa Vranjes – </strong>Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach</p><p> www.melissavranjes.com</p><p> Instagram: @melissavranjes</p><p> </p><p> Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?<strong> Join Sex School here: </strong>https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school</p><p><strong> </strong></p><p> </p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
June 16, 2026
How To Bring Your Fantasies To Life
<p>Turns out almost everyone has a fantasy they've never told a single soul. This week Jay-Jay and sex & relationship coach Mel Vranjes get into sexual fantasies; what's actually going on underneath them, why just talking about one can be almost as hot as living it out, and how to bring it up with your partner without causing a small relationship earthquake.</p><br><p>Mel shares the research on the most common fantasies (group sex, power play, and being completely ravished all made the list), and we talk through how to find the feeling behind a fantasy so you're not stuck trying to recreate an exact scene from a book.</p><br><p>Also in this episode: Jay-Jay's worst date story ever, the golden showers chat nobody asked for, why pegging makes so many people squirm and shouldn't, and a Pleasure Practice that's basically just permission to daydream a bit more.</p><br><p>Topics: sexual fantasies, fantasy communication, kinks and power play, BDSM basics, intimacy and desire, couples communication, sex education, relationship advice</p><br><p>How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. </p><br><p>This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered.</p><br><p><strong>JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!</strong></p><p>SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a></p><p>INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a></p><p>FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a></p><p>YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a></p><p>EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a></p><p>Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a></p><br><p>How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a></p><br><p>HOSTS:</p><p>Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality</p><p>Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ</p><p>Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney</a></p><br><p>Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach</p><p><a href="http://www.melissavranjes.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.melissavranjes.com</a></p><p>Instagram: @melissavranjes</p><p>Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: <a href="https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school</a></p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
June 9, 2026
How To Initiate Sex
<p>Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze? </p><p>Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is.</p><p>This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts that bring desire back to life in long-term relationships.</p><br><p>Inside this episode:</p><ul><li>Why initiating feels so loaded (and why long-term love makes it harder, not easier)</li><li>The one-word response to "no" that stops the shame spiral in its tracks</li><li>Mismatched desire; are you and your partner even speaking the same language?</li><li>Ovens vs gas hobs: why "preheating" outside the bedroom changes everything</li><li>Emily Nagoski's gateways into desire: play, care and curiosity</li><li>Real, low-stakes ways to initiate tonight: flirty texts, kissing, music, massage</li><li>Plus your Pleasure Practice DMs, including the "I was meant to be the submissive one" plot twist</li><li><br></li></ul><p>Whether you're the one who always makes the first move, the one who's given up trying, or somewhere in between, this one's for you.</p><br><p>How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.</p><br><p> This podcast is proudly sponsored by <strong>Wild Secrets</strong>.</p><p> Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> & use the code <strong>HAVESEX</strong> for 20% off sitewide…</p><p> Pleasure Delivered.</p><br><p> <strong>SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK </strong><a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a></p><p><strong> INSTAGRAM </strong><a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a></p><p> <strong>FACEBOOK </strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a></p><p> <strong>YOUTUBE</strong> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a></p><p> <strong>EMAIL</strong> <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a></p><p> <strong>Support the podcast! </strong><a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a></p><p> </p><p> How To Have Sex is produced by <strong>PodLab</strong>, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a></p><br><p> <strong>HOSTS:</strong></p><p><strong> Jay-Jay Feeney</strong> – Media Personality</p><p> Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ</p><p> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Melissa Vranjes – </strong>Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach</p><p> www.melissavranjes.com</p><p> Instagram: @melissavranjes</p><p> </p><p> Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?<strong> Join Sex School here: </strong>https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school</p><p><strong> </strong></p><p> </p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p>
16 total episodes available
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- What is How To Have Sex?
<h4>How To Have Sex is the sex education you never got at school, and have been quietly winging ever since. Hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. One very curious host and one expert who actually knows the answers. Every episode tackles a real topic: how to improve your sex life, how to talk about intimacy without killing the mood, how to have better orgasms, how to spice things up in a long-term relationship.... you get the idea. Shame-free, refreshingly practical, and occasionally so mortifying you'll need to pause it. New episodes weekly.</h4><h4><br></h4><h4>Hosted by:</h4><h4>Jay-Jay Feeney - 30+ years in radio, trusted voice for Kiwi women.</h4><h4>Melissa Vranjes - Certified Sex & Relationship Coach, featured in VOGUE & GRAZIA</h4><h4><br></h4><h4>Together, we combine humour and expert knowledge to normalise conversations around sexual wellness.</h4><h4>Breaking taboos. Building confidence. Supporting modern intimacy.</h4><hr><p style='color:grey; font-size:0.75em;'> Hosted on Acast. See <a style='color:grey;' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.</p> - How often does this podcast release new episodes?
This podcast updates daily.
- Where can I listen to this podcast?
This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
- Does this podcast accept guests?
No, this podcast does not typically feature guests.
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