How To Have Sex

About How To Have Sex

How To Have Sex is the sex education you never got at school, and have been quietly winging ever since. Hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. One very curious host and one expert who actually knows the answers. Every episode tackles a real topic: how to improve your sex life, how to talk about intimacy without killing the mood, how to have better orgasms, how to spice things up in a long-term relationship.... you get the idea. Shame-free, refreshingly practical, and occasionally so mortifying you'll need to pause it. New episodes weekly. Hosted by: Jay-Jay Feeney - 30+ years in radio, trusted voice for Kiwi women. Melissa Vranjes - Certified Sex & Relationship Coach, featured in VOGUE & GRAZIA Together, we combine humour and expert knowledge to normalise conversations around sexual wellness. Breaking taboos. Building confidence. Supporting modern intimacy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

Publisher

Jay-Jay Feeney & Melissa Vranjes

Category

education · health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

27 Feb 2026

Latest episode

20 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

33 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   20 Oct 2026

   How To Know If You're Normal Down There

   Have you ever looked at your bits and wondered, “Is that normal?” You're not alone! And this week, Jay-Jay and Mel are getting VERY personal. We're talking about the insecurities nobody likes admitting to, from the appearance of our intimate body parts to erectile dysfunction, breast size and body confidence. Jay-Jay has some questions about labia. Quite a few, actually. And when she compares them to the dangly bits on a chicken, Mel almost loses the plot. But there's a serious side to this conversation, too. Mel reveals how watching porn left her feeling ashamed of her own body for years, until a rather eye-opening experience with her girlfriends changed everything. Jay-Jay shares a personal story about dating a young man with erectile dysfunction, and Mel explains why erection difficulties don't necessarily mean a lack of attraction, or the end of a satisfying sex life. Plus, we're comparing boob jobs! Jay-Jay went smaller, Mel went bigger… then changed her mind. In this episode, we explore: Why intimate body parts come in all shapes, sizes and colours. How unrealistic expectations can damage body confidence. What causes erectile difficulties and how couples can navigate them together. The surprising connection between antidepressants and sexual wellbeing. Why feeling sexy isn't about having the 'perfect' body. Expect some genuinely useful relationship advice, a few vulnerable confessions and some spectacularly awkward questions. Because when it comes to our bodies, different doesn't mean wrong. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

2. 

   13 Oct 2026

   How To Come Back From Infidelity

   Can you ever REALLY forgive someone for cheating? And even if you do, can your relationship ever be the same again? This week, we're getting VERY personal. Mel reveals that an ex-boyfriend cheated on her for a year and a half. At one point, another woman left his bed just TEN MINUTES before Mel arrived. Then he turned up at her workplace with a fake name, carrying flowers and a $300 necklace to apologise. Mel kept the necklace. 😂 Meanwhile, Jay-Jay admits she's both been cheated on AND done some cheating herself. We're not judging. Well, maybe a little. But beyond the jaw-dropping stories, we're tackling some big relationship questions. Why do people cheat, even when they love their partners? Are emotional affairs worse than physical ones? Can you rebuild trust after betrayal? How do you become intimate again when your partner has broken your heart? Is "once a cheater, always a cheater" actually true? Can a relationship become better after an affair? Mel shares practical advice for recovering from infidelity, understanding what went wrong, rebuilding emotional connection and deciding whether a relationship is worth saving. It's messy, honest, surprisingly funny and possibly one of our most revealing conversations yet. Sometimes the hardest part isn't forgiving someone else. It's learning to trust yourself again. ABOUT HOW TO HAVE SEX How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com (https://hthspodcast.substack.com) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast) TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod (https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast (https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast) YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast) Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com (mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com) Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex (https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex) How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland – https://www.podlab.co.nz (https://www.podlab.co.nz) HOSTS Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney (https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney) Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach Website: www.melissavranjes.com (http://www.melissavranjes.com) Instagram: @melissavranjes READY TO TAKE THINGS FURTHER? Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school (https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

3. 

   6 Oct 2026

   How To Choose & Use Adult Toys For Couples

   Warning: there may be batteries. There may be buzzing. There will definitely be a Batman-shaped cock ring. This week Jay-Jay Feeney and sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes tip a giant box of toys onto the bed and work out what couples should actually be playing with. Whether you're a total beginner or your bedside drawer is already full, Mel walks through how to choose a toy based on the sensation you want, why a toy is never "competition" for your partner, and how shopping together can open up the best conversations about pleasure. We cover: Why toys aren't a sign something's missing (and how they help through pregnancy, perimenopause and erectile changes) Starting with the feeling you want: vibration, suction, sensation play, a bit of spanking... Dual-stimulation toys, pinpoint vibrators and why "solo" toys work brilliantly for two Rings, strokers and double-ended toys, with live (clothed!) demos Wearables, remote apps, and Mel's very sneaky cafe date with Steve The biggest mistake couples make when bringing a toy into bed Cleaning, materials, lube, charging and why you should never buy your toys from a bargain site Plus: Jay-Jay figures out why toys have always made her feel awkward. Mel's mum makes her bed and finds a surprise. A dildo comes back from the bin. And we deliver a sex swing review nobody asked for. Want to see the toys? Watch the full uncensored video on our Substack or Apple Podcasts.. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This episode is brought to you by Adult Toy Megastore, New Zealand's favourite place for everything adult, with the country's biggest range, great prices and discreet delivery. Use code TOY15 at adulttoymegastore.co.nz for 15% off. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com (https://hthspodcast.substack.com) INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast (https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast) FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast (https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast) YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast) EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com (mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com) Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex (https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex) How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz (https://www.podlab.co.nz) HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney (https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney) Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com (http://www.melissavranjes.com) Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school (https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy (https://acast.com/privacy) for more information.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

3.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

4.2 / 5

78 ratings

Contact How To Have Sex

Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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