Mezzo by Chris Damian

About Mezzo by Chris Damian

Mezzo is a space for the "in-between." For deconstructing and deconstructed Catholics, and those who want to learn with and from them. We cover Catholicism, intersectionality, dialogue, deconstruction, sexuality, race, creativity, healing, change, and much more!

Publisher

Chris Damian

Category

religion & spirituality

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

5 Oct 2025

Latest episode

7 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

55 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   7 Oct 2026

   Deconstructing FOCUS Catholic: part six

   This is the sixth episode on FOCUS Catholic, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students. FOCUS a ministry with more than 1000 young people based largely on college campuses around the United States and which last year had a revenue of $126 million. In this episode, we'll continue to explore the disparities between the external image of FOCUS and what too many suffered from the inside. I'll share allegations of abuse behavior on the part of FOCUS Founder Curtis Martin, how Martin kept a man in ministry even after a Court detailed sworn testimony of abuse, and how today FOCUS even has that missionary living in a $2 million luxury home owned by the ministry. We'll unpack: - The allegations against Curtis Martin that were reportedly raised to Focus and its board - What court records say about the missionary’s conduct in his marriage - How staff say Focus handled the victim and the public narrative - Why a $2 million home tied to Focus raises fresh financial questions how messaging around femininity, masculinity, and submission can become a recipe for abuse And we'll connect this case to broader church failures, showing how silence, reputation management, and unchecked authority can harm the very people ministries claim to serve. This is not just about one organization’s scandal - it’s about what happens when leaders are protected, victims are minimized, and accountability is treated as optional. 00:00 — Introduction: Allegations surrounding Focus 03:46 — The letter accusing Curtis Martin of threatening behavior 08:23 — Court findings in the missionary’s marriage case 10:41 — How Focus allegedly responded to the abuse allegations 14:02 — Gender culture, control, and patterns of abuse 18:42 — Wider allegations and the case for an independent investigation 22:45 — Questions about luxury properties and financial transparency 28:12 — A call for accountability from Focus leadership 30:34 — A message to current and former Focus members 33:24 — Advocacy, healing, and resources

2. 

   5 Oct 2026

   Deconstructing FOCUS Catholic: part five

   This is the fifth episode on FOCUS Catholic, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students. FOCUS a ministry with more than 1000 young people based largely on college campuses around the United States and which last year had a revenue of $126 million. In this episode, we explore how FOCUS didn’t just recruit students - it shaped identities, relationships, and entire careers. Kelly, Mat, Carol, Anton, Christine, and Mary return to tell us what it’s actually like to be “won, built, and sent” by one of the American Church’s most influential ministries, and why they’re still processing what they experienced years after leaving the ministry.What left missionaries facing panic attacks and hiding in bathrooms during Mass? Why do many former missionaries struggle with substance abuse today? How do those once engaged with the ministry process the harms they helped perpetuate within it? And how did the mental anguish from messages within FOCUS get so bad that it led one former leader to get checked into a psychiatric hospital? We’ll explore all this and much more. 0:00 — When Care Becomes Control2:09 — Burnout, Boundaries, and Work Culture8:53 — Control, Privilege, and Gendered Harm19:27 — Hiding Pain and Losing Trust21:58 — Family Leave, COVID, and Physical Safety27:10 — Shame, Substance Use, and Delayed Growth32:24 — Trauma, Testimony, and Spiritual Authority37:14 — Leaving FOCUS and Reclaiming Identity39:36 — A Crisis and Choosing Survival43:31 — Why These Stories Matter46:27 — Accountability, Apology, and Healing48:56 — Finding Support Without an Apology

3. 

   29 Sept 2026

   Deconstructing FOCUS Catholic: part four

   This is the fourth episode on FOCUS Catholic, a ministry with more than 1000 young people based largely on college campuses around the United States and which last year had a revenue of $126 million. In this episode, we explore how the inside story of FOCUS is far messier than its public image. Six former insiders—Carol Marceau, Kelly Wuebben, Mat Wuebben, Christine Grote, Anton Kallungal, and Mary Forbes—reveal how a ministry that claimed belonging, mission, and spiritual zeal would normalize shame, control, and silence for those harmed. Beneath the Bible studies and the conference highs is a machine that relied on love bombing, emotional unchastity, gender discrimination, transactional relationships, and the pressure to appear joyful while your mental health unravels. We'll also unpack some more issues related to finances and hiring. This includes the bar being so low for male hires that one woman had to push against a group of other recruiters who wanted to hire a male candidate who was "on fire" for his faith... even after the recruit admitted to lying during the application process.The panelists occupied a range of roles within the organization, from student leader to missionary to team director to events coordinator to accounting manager, and together they help us unpack the harms behind FOCUS and the hope for the future. 00:00 — Introduction: A Closer Look at FOCUS02:07 — Fundraising, Isolation, and Spiritual Pressure07:05 — The Emotional Cost of Fundraising11:36 — A Breaking Point at Headquarters19:19 — Unqualified Leadership and Pay Inequity25:11 — Financial Controls, Expenses, and Accountability31:39 — Race, Representation, and Recruitment38:54 — Double Standards and the Suppression of Strong Women40:37 — A Choice Not to Continue with FOCUS42:54 — Closing

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.8 / 5

11 ratings

Spotify

4.1 / 5

19 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.