About Not Fit for the Feed: confessions and conversations of parenting through the hard stuff
Not Fit for the Feed is a podcast for parents who are in the thick of it — the stuff that doesn't make it onto social media. Hosted by Brettne Shootman, a former teacher and mother of four, this narrative memoir podcast tells the real, messy, lived experience of a family quietly surviving addiction, mental health crises, international adoption, and trauma — and the kind of parenting moments that leave you wondering if you're doing any of it right.
Brettne isn't a therapist or an expert. She's someone who has lived through a lot and learned even more — and she believes that when we stop hiding our stories, they lose their power over us. If you've ever felt completely alone in your parenting, this show is for you.
The Reality of It - Language Barriers, Signs of Trauma, and Tantrums
Today's episode is about the moment the girls finally came home — and the reality that was nothing like we imagined. Topics Covered Bringing Meskerem and Tarikua home from EthiopiaThe language barrier and early communication strugglesFirst signs of trauma showing up in daily lifeSetting boundaries with love when you don't share a languageThe exhaustion and overwhelm of the early weeksWhat attachment looks like when it doesn't look like what you expectedResources for Listeners Language and Com...
3 Nov 2026
When It Rains…Sibling Resentment and Crisis During the Wait
Today's episode is about what happens when everything falls apart at the same time — and you're still expected to hold it all together. Topics Covered Will's escalating mental health and substance use during the adoption waitThe impossible position of parenting a child in crisis while preparing to bring two more homeSibling resentment and the toll the adoption was taking on the familyKeeping the adoption moving forward while managing crisis at homeWhat it means to love two things that feel li...
27 Oct 2026
When Red Tape Has a Heartbeat – Failed Court and Thirty More Days of Waiting
Today's episode is about the moment we finally saw our daughters' faces — and then had to leave without them. Topics Covered Receiving the referral and seeing the girls' photos for the first timeTraveling to Ethiopia to meet Meskerem and TarikuaThe joy and heartbreak of meeting them and leaving them behindOur first failed court dateThe judge's request for more evidence about the birth familyA notice placed in the national newspaperThirty more days of waitingResources for Listeners Internation...
20 Oct 2026
Love Finds A Way - Surviving a Failed Adoption Match
Today’s episode is the story of the child we lost. And finding the two who were actually meant to be a part of the family. Topics Covered The mountain of adoption paperworkLost and re-filed documentsOur first matched child and why it didn't work outGrieving a match that falls throughDeciding to adopt two sisters insteadWill's definitive pushback on the adoptionGetting social worker approval anywayResources for Listeners When an Adoption Match Falls Through Adoption Network — resources f...
13 Oct 2026
The Weight of Our Decisions - Stepping into the World of International Adoption
Today's episode is about the decision that changed the lives of everyone in our family and what happens when you make that decision without telling your kids before you tell the rest of the world. Topics Covered Trying to have a third childPregnancy loss and griefDeciding to adopt — and not telling the kidsKids finding out before we were readyThe anger and hurt that followedShaking a child's sense of securityResources March of Dimes — marchofdimes.orgRESOLVE: The National Infertility Associat...
6 Oct 2026
The Father Factor: When Love Looks Like Control
Today's episode is about the three adults who were supposed to protect me — and what I learned from watching all of them. Topics Covered Growing up with just my dad and my sisterHis authoritarian parenting styleBeing treated as a stand-in for adult rolesFear and anxiety from home — not just from my stepmotherMoments of cruelty dressed up as disciplineResources Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. GibsonRunning on Empty by Jonice WebbPsychology Today: What Is Parentific...
29 Sept 2026
I'll Stay With Daddy: Surviving Divorce & Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent
Today's episode is about the night my mom left, a latchkey childhood, an alcoholic stepmother, and learning to read the room before I could read a book. Topics Covered The night my mom leftGrowing up as a latchkey kidSeeing my mom only every other weekendLiving with an alcoholic stepmotherThe constant fear, anxiety, and instability of home lifeResources Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families — adultchildren.orgAl-Anon/Alateen — al-anon.orgIt Will Never Happen to Me by Claud...
29 Sept 2026
Screaming Into The Night – The Breaking Point of Adoption & Parenting Trauma
The moment everything unraveled — a mother screaming in the cul-de-sac and the realization she could no longer pretend everything was fine. Topics Covered The cul-de-sac moment — when the breaking point finally arrivesThe cost of keeping up appearancesWhat it means to stop pretendingEarly warning signs hiding in plain sightThe courage it takes to ask for helpResources Partnership to End Addiction — 1-855-378-4373SAMHSA National Helpline — 1-800-662-4357Epilepsy Foundation — epilepsy.comBeauti...
25 Sept 2026
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