Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast offers curious people a space to learn more about their fascinating internal sexual landscapes and to discover their authentic sexual Self, a resource we all have within which can lead and enrich our sexual lives. We will do this through the lens of Self-Led Sexuality, an integrative approach developed by your host which is rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS). You will be educated, entertained, and invited to get to know the diverse parts of yourself who have roles in the unfolding of your unique sexual story.
Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast
Claim This Podcastby Patricia Rich
4.9(21 reviews)
31 episodes
Updated Daily
Accepts GuestsHas SponsorsLocation 🇺🇸
64
Podcast Authority
BetaGoodBased on show quality, social media presence, reviews, charts, and more
Quality81
Social0
YouTube66
Engagement51
Podcast Overview
Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast offers curious people a space to learn more about their fascinating internal sexual landscapes and to discover their authentic sexual Self, a resource we all have within which can lead and enrich our sexual lives. We will do this through the lens of Self-Led Sexuality, an integrative approach developed by your host which is rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS). You will be educated, entertained, and invited to get to know the diverse parts of yourself who have roles in the unfolding of your unique sexual story.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
1/23/2025
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64
Podcast Authority
BetaGoodBased on show quality, social media presence, reviews, charts, and more
Quality81
Social0
YouTube66
Engagement51
8
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9
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excellent
Episode Length
1h 5m
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Every 13 days
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Recent Episodes
May 28, 2026
31: BDSM Through an IFS Lens, with Leonore Tjia
<p>“I can be any part in this, any role in this. I'm both the writer, the producer, the director of this erotic theatrical experience my psyche is creating." Leonore Tjia</p><p>Disclaimer: This episode contains explicit discussions of BDSM practices, power exchange, trauma, and sexuality. Listener discretion is advised.</p><p>Patty sits down with Leonore Tjia, a therapist, coach, and kink educator, for a conversation about what happens when the frameworks of Internal Family Systems and BDSM meet.</p><p>For those new to the world of kink, Leonore offers a clear introduction — unpacking the difference between power exchange and sensation play, and explaining why the BDSM community’s emphasis on consent, negotiation, and aftercare brings a level of intentionality that is often missing from so-called “normal” sexuality.</p><p>From there, the conversation goes deeper: how dominance and submission can echo early attachment experiences, how scenes can become spaces for reenactment and repair, and what it really means to negotiate consent — not just with a partner, but internally and with the body parts themselves. They also turn the lens on the therapeutic relationship itself, exploring the power dynamics, the attunement, and the ways that being a good therapist might draw on some of the same inner capacities as being a good dominant.</p><p>Leonore Tjia (she/they) is a queer Chinese American Associate Marriage and Family Therapist based in Vermont. She has worked in the field of adult sexuality education since 2011 with a focus on erotic embodiment, consent and transformative BDSM. She holds a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and has studied and trained in a variety of healing modalities, including Internal Family Systems, Theater of the Oppressed and the somatic arts form Body Tales. Through her private practice, Rewild Your Heart, she helps people restore the dignity, power and aliveness of their erotic selves.</p><p><strong>Connect with Leonore:</strong></p><p>Leonore’s website: <a href="http://rewildingtheheart.com"><u>rewildingtheheart.com</u></a></p><p><strong>About Self-Led in Bed</strong></p><p>Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS).</p><p>Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S’s models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations.</p><p><strong>Resources</strong></p><p>Get the free <a href="https://www.patriciarich.com/6sgraphic"><strong>The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.</strong></a></p>
May 14, 2026
30: Sexorcism: IFS and Unattached Burdens with Robert Falconer
<p>"These things look like great, big, horrifying monsters, but actually they're really terrified small beings. Think about it for a minute. They're making their existence as a parasite, an unwanted inhabitant in somebody else's psyche. That's not something a powerful being would do." <strong>— Robert Falconer</strong></p><p><strong>Disclaimer: </strong>This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and non-ordinary psychological experiences. Listener discretion is advised.</p><p>Sexuality, especially following sexual trauma, is already complex and multi-layered. Today’s guest brings in yet another potent dimension: what happens when our sexual system has absorbed parasitic energies that do not belong to us? </p><p>Robert Falconer is well-known in the IFS community for his teachings about “the others within us,” including unattached burdens and guides.In this episode, Patty and Bob explore how sexual trauma can create openings in the psyche that allow these external energies in, and how working with the parts that have organized themselves around those energies — not rushing to get rid of them — is often where the most tender and transformative healing lives. Bob shares from his own autobiography of severe childhood sexual abuse, and speaks to why he believes IFS is the most powerful model available today for survivors.Bob introduces the "seal of light" meditation as a practical tool for spiritual hygiene, discusses the difference between unattached burdens and perpetrator introjects, and shares what he's learned about the role guides and benevolent energies play in healing and in love.</p><p>Bob Falconer has devoted much of his career to the treatment of trauma. For approximately 20 years Bob's major focus has been on Internal Family Systems Therapy. Bob has served on staff for more than twenty official IFS Institute trainings and has completed the highest level of IFS training himself. He has taught extensively, both online and internationally, and has led trainings and classes in Pakistan, China, South Korea, Mexico, Poland, Spain, Canada, the United Kingdom, and with the Fort Belknap and Northern Cheyenne reservations.He is the author of six books related to IFS and inner healing; the most recent being Self Unbroken, an account of the foundations of his healing from his own childhood sexual abuse. He has also been actively engaged with psychedelic exploration since 1967 and continues to view it as a meaningful pathway for healing and insight.</p><p><strong>Connect with Bob:</strong></p><p>Bob's website: <a href="http://robertfalconer.us" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">robertfalconer.us</a></p><p>Instagram/Facebook: @bobfalconerifs</p><p>Books: The Others Within Us, When You're Going Through Hell ...Keep Going, Spirit, Opening the Inner World (co-author), Many Minds, One Self (co-author) - Self Unbroken (publishing in Q2 2026)</p><p><strong>About Self-Led in Bed</strong></p><p>Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS).</p><p>Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S’s models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations.</p><p><strong>Resources</strong></p><p>Get the free <a href="https://www.patriciarich.com/6sgraphic" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer"><strong>The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.</strong></a></p><p>Check out our Intro to IFS Through the Lens of Sexuality Course at www.patriciarich.com.</p><p><br></p>
April 30, 2026
29: Exposing My Parts, with Host Patricia Rich
<p>In this special solo episode, host Patricia Rich celebrates her birthday, which coincides with Earth Day, by choosing to expose her parts…sharing more about her own internal system and inviting listeners to feel into their own vulnerability related to sexual self-disclosure. After 15 months of hosting, Patricia reintroduces herself to the audience, noting how she has evolved since the podcast began and is feeling called to step out from "hiding" and to share more about her parts, passions, internal polarizations and plans.</p><p>A major theme of this episode is the concept of "internal consent," a process of slowing down to listen to the various parts of one's internal system before making choices about how to communicate or show up in the world. Patricia leads a guided reflection, inviting listeners to consider their own boundaries around self-disclosure—especially regarding their sexual feelings and desires—and how they determine if it is safe to share tender information with friends, partners, or professionals.</p><p>Patricia shares stories from early childhood that impact her feelings about exposing herself physically,and also delves into her passion for deep connection and the spiritual aspects of intimacy. She explains that feeling "self-led in bed" is not just about sex, but about a broader sense of connectedness that can extend to nature and the Earth. </p><p><strong>Special Announcement: Monthly "Self-Led in Bed" Q&As!</strong></p><p>We’re thrilled to announce a new way to connect! Patty will be hosting monthly <strong>Self-Led in Bed Q&A sessions</strong> exclusively within her Facebook community. This is your opportunity to have your questions about IFS and Sexuality addressed directly. Attend live or submit questions in advance. You can choose to be anonymous when you post in the group, or send Patty a private DM, letting her know if you do not wish to be identified publicly. Join our Facebook community today to submit your questions and be part of these monthly conversations!</p><p><strong>Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: </strong><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich"><u>https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich</u></a></p><p>Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free <a href="https://www.patriciarich.com/6sgraphic"><u>The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.</u></a></p><p>Or visit the website at <a href="http://www.patriciarich.com"><u>www.patriciarich.com</u></a></p><p><br></p>
31 total episodes available
Recent guests on Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast
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Achara Tarfa
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Jennifer Weissner
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Kory Andreas
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- What is Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast?
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This podcast updates daily.
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