9 Oct 2026
全英Talk｜人生主体性：既享受选择的红利，也承担对应的代价
转录脚本：
I think a lot of anxiety and pain actually come from
我觉得很多焦虑和痛苦其实都源于
the fact that we all want the benefits of a choice
我们总想只享受选择带来的好处
without accepting the downside that comes with it.
却不愿接受随之而来的代价
You know, trade offs are unavoidable.
要知道 取舍是不可避免的
A few months ago, I delivered a lecture at a local college,
几个月前 我在本地一所大学做讲座
and a student came up to me and asked a question.
有个学生走过来问了我一个问题
She said,
她说
Are there any high paying jobs that are close to home,
有没有那种离家近
that don't offer too much work,
活儿又不多
and that offer me less stress,
压力还小
and give me some control over my free time.
还能自由支配时间的高薪工作
Well, I think you are a perfectionist.
嗯 我觉得你是个完美主义者
And I said that's an impossible triangle.
我说那是个不可能三角
You know, high paying jobs are usually
你知道 高薪工作通常
associated with greater responsibility,
伴随着更大的责任
longer hours, more stress, and, of course,
更长的工作时间 更大的压力 当然
a lot of complexities of human nature.
还有复杂的人性
If you move up a cooperate ladder,
如果你在公司里往上爬
become a senior manager,
成了高级经理
you will face a lot of headaches.
你会面临一大堆头疼的事
You probably see lawyers
你大概见过律师
working about 15 hours every day in the office,
每天在办公室工作差不多15个小时
and investment bankers work about 100 hours every week
而投行的人每周工作约100个小时
in order to generate revenues. Right?
就为了创造收益 对吧
But if you prefer slower life
但如果你偏爱慢生活
and live close to your parents in a small town,
在小城镇里 住在离父母不远的地方
you have to tolerate the trade-offs,
你就得接受一些取舍
like fewer job opportunities,
比如工作机会少一些
fewer professional connections,
职业人脉窄一些
and slower income growth.
收入增长也慢一些
That's the cost you have to pay for that choice. Right?
这就是你为那个选择付出的代价 对吧
Another example is being a civil servant.
再比如当公务员
Some young people pass the fierce competition
有些年轻人一路过关斩将
to become a civil servant in China,
才在国内当上公务员
working for the bureaucratic organizations like governments.
在政府这类体制内单位工作
Your family probably wants you to become part of the system
你家人大概就盼着你进入体制
in order to get stability, right?
图个安稳
You don't need to worry about your pension funds.
你不用担心养老金的问题
But once they get into the system,
但一旦他们进入体制内
they'll complain about hierarchical structures and strict rules
就会抱怨等级森严 规矩繁多
and a lack of personal flexibility.
而且缺乏个人灵活性
You have to be really careful about the things you say
你说话得格外小心
and sometimes you have to deal with politics, power struggles.
有时还得应付办公室政治和权力斗争
That's the price you have to pay for a stable job.
这就是你为一份稳定工作要付出的代价
This also reminded me
这也让我想起了
of a private message I received from a follower.
一位粉丝给我发的私信
She wanted to have a gap year by staying at home with her parents,
她想在家跟父母待着 过个间隔年
but her parents was always criticizing her
但她的父母总是批评她
for not getting a job,
不找工作
relying on family's financial support.
还靠家里接济
So my response would be
所以我的建议是
if you know that your parents are not satisfied with your choice
如果你知道父母对你的选择不满意
and you want to stay at home,
而你又想待在家里
you probably have to tolerate their behaviors, right?
那你可能就得忍受他们的言行
You have to tolerate their criticisms.
你得忍受他们的批评
If you don't want to confront their complaints,
如果你不想面对他们的抱怨
and you want them to shut up and respect you,
想让他们闭嘴并尊重你
then try to find a way to move out
那就想办法搬出去
and become financially independent.
实现经济独立
So the choices in front of you are quite clear.
所以你面前的选择其实很清晰
You cannot have both loving parents
你不可能同时拥有爱你的父母
and easy financial support at the same time.
和轻松的经济支持
This is unrealistic, right?
这不现实 对吧
We have to remember that every lifestyle has a price.
我们必须记住 每种生活方式都有代价
In economics, it's often called opportunity cost.
在经济学里 这通常被称为机会成本
If you want to gain something,
如果你想得到什么
you have to give up something else.
就必须放弃另一些东西
You cannot optimize everything at the same time.
你不可能同时优化所有方面
And a decision with no downsides
而一个没有任何坏处的决定
cannot be defined as a decision.
根本不能称之为决定
It's just pure wish or hope.
那只是纯粹的幻想或愿望
Only scammers will offer you perfect choices
只有骗子才会给你提供完美的选择
that are too perfect to be true.
完美得不像真的
I think young people can combine idealism and realism.
我觉得年轻人可以把理想主义和现实主义结合起来
We can call ourselves idealistic realists.
我们可以称自己为理想的现实主义者
So mature thinking is not about
所以 成熟的思想不在于
getting all the benefits without giving anything up.
只享其成 不付代价
It's about asking yourself a deep, fundamental question:
而在于问自己一个深刻的根本问题
What matters most to me?
对我来说 什么最重要
And what am I willing to give up for it?
为了它 我愿意放弃什么
And, you know, there's no perfect choice, no perfect path.
而且 你知道 没有完美的选择 也没有完美的道路
You always have to analyze your costs and benefits,
你总得分析你的成本和收益
and the prices you have to pay for a particular choice.
以及你为某个特定选择必须付出的代价
So ask yourself,
所以问问自己
which price is worth paying for the life I want?
为了想要的生活 哪个代价值得付出
