Needy No More

About Needy No More

Needy No More is the podcast for anyone ready to heal anxious attachment and grow more secure in themselves and their relationships. I'm Chris Rackliffe—author and anxious attachment style coach—and I've helped thousands of people across six continents become securely attached. Each episode explores topics like trauma healing, abandonment, codependency, intentional dating, avoidant attachment, and breakups—with honest conversations, practical tools, and real techniques for your journey toward secure attachment. New eps bi-weekly. crackliffe.com me@crackliffe.com Instagram/TikTok: @crackliffe

Publisher

Chris Rackliffe

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

9 Feb 2025

Latest episode

14 Jun 2026

Latest episodes

1 of 22 episodes have a transcript.

1. 

   14 Jun 2026

   How to Choose Yourself (Even If You're Scared of Ending Up Alone) ft. Kate Anthony

   Kate Anthony spent sixteen years believing she might never be chosen again. After leaving the emotionally abusive, narcissistic husband she married at 28, she threw herself back into dating, retreated, got knocked flat by a relationship she says nearly broke her, and slowly rebuilt through therapy, twelve-step work, and getting sober in 2018. Somewhere in that messy, nonlinear stretch she stopped bending herself into a pretzel to be chosen and started choosing herself instead, fully willing to stay single for the rest of her life. Then she met Ethan. In this episode, I sit down with Kate (divorce coach, author of The D Word, and host of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast) to unpack how she went from an anxious, codependent woman who once had panic attacks in relationships, to finding out she's actually secure given the right conditions. We get into: Why "you might not meet your person" is a freeing truth, not a cruel one The two conditions that made Kate's secure attachment come alive How to actually identify your own values (including Kate's brilliant "mud bath value") How self-knowledge builds self-esteem, which builds self-trust Spotting a genuinely intentional partner (and why values on full display matter) The difference between attracting toxic people and letting them stay Reclaiming the word victim without losing your agency Why "stay together for the kids" can backfire on the kids The role sobriety played in her healing, plus my own 500+ days alcohol-free If you're an anxious attacher wondering whether your person is out there, this conversation hands you something far more valuable than reassurance: a way to come home to yourself first. Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com (https://www.crackliffe.com/words) Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy (https://crackliffe.com/needy) Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching (https://www.crackliffe.com/coaching) Follow @crackliffe on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/crackliffe/) and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@crackliffe?lang=en) for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment Connect with Kate Website: kateanthony.com (https://kateanthony.com/) Podcast: The Divorce Survival Guide (https://open.spotify.com/show/1kBZutenj9MXXpjkpVWLfr) Instagram: @kateanthony_divorcecoach (https://www.instagram.com/kateanthony_divorcecoach/) Book: The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage (https://amzn.to/4vR6Daq) Mentioned in this episode Burn the Haystack by Jennie Young (https://amzn.to/4vFyHgC) This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (https://amzn.to/4fDvdXk) Keywords anxious attachment, healing anxious attachment, anxious to secure attachment, secure attachment, attachment styles, codependency, self-abandonment, people pleasing, choosing yourself, self-trust, self-knowledge, dating with intention, values alignment, dating after divorce, finding love again, fear of being alone, discernment in dating, Kate Anthony, Divorce Survival Guide, divorce coach, emotional abuse, narcissistic relationship, narcissistic abuse recovery, coercive control, leaving an abusive marriage, stay together for the kids, victim and survivor, Burned Haystack dating method, Jennie Young, modern dating, dating apps, sobriety, sober curious, This Naked Mind, Annie Grace

2. 

   31 May 2026

   The Hidden Strengths of Anxious Attachment (That You've Been Told Are Weaknesses)

   For so long, I internalized the message that my anxious attachment style was the problem—that in order to have the love I wanted, I needed to be less. Less sensitive. Less expressive. Less needy. And I hear that same painful belief echoed back to me by almost everyone who reaches out to me for coaching. But today's episode is my pushback on all of that. Because there are real, tangible strengths that come with having an anxious attachment style. Qualities that, when channeled well, don't just make you a better partner, they make you a better human. My message today is this: don't discard those gifts; honor them. Topics Discussed: Why so many anxious attachers internalize the belief that they are broken, and why that belief is wrong The core reframe: healing anxious attachment isn't about becoming less of yourself, it's about becoming more of yourself Self-awareness as a gateway strength in anxious attachment recovery, and why hypervigilance doesn't have to be the enemy Empathy and intuition as real superpowers for anxious attachers, and how to use them as directional information rather than emotional noise A deep capacity for emotional connection and intimacy, and why loving hard is something to be proud of, not ashamed of Loyalty and commitment as profound strengths of the anxious attachment style, and why they must be extended to yourself first Why anxious attachers are often excellent communicators, and the common pattern of going silent when it matters most A growth mindset as a relationship superpower, plus the important distinction between healing anxious attachment and endless self-optimization The reminder that you are not a project, and that self-acceptance is a major part of the secure attachment journey too Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment: Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com (https://www.crackliffe.com/words) Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy (http://crackliffe.com/needy) Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit (http://crackliffe.com/starterkit) Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching (crackliffe.com/coaching) Follow @crackliffe on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/crackliffe/) and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@crackliffe?lang=en)  for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment Keywords: anxious attachment strengths, benefits of anxious attachment, anxious attachment style, healing anxious attachment, anxious attachment reframe, anxious attachment recovery, secure attachment journey, sensitive empath, highly empathetic, anxious attacher traits, attachment style strengths, anxious attachment coach, needy no more podcast, anxious attachment podcast, self-awareness anxious attachment, empathy and intuition, emotional connection and intimacy, growth mindset relationships, self-acceptance attachment healing

3. 

   17 May 2026

   What Healing Anxious Attachment Actually Looks Like ft. Christina Melgar Thomssen

   Today's episode is one of the most personal conversations I've had on the show—because my guest, Christina Melgar Thomssen, has been on both sides of the work. She first came to me as a client in late 2021, in one of the darkest seasons of her life: newly single, living alone for the first time, a mattress on the floor, and barely taking care of herself. She felt too ashamed to admit to anyone how desperate she felt for connection. Watching one of my TikTok videos (https://www.tiktok.com/@crackliffe/video/6990432327423790341?lang=en) was the first time she'd felt truly seen. What followed was a true transformation. Not a dramatic overnight shift, but the slow, consistent, unglamorous work of building habits, trusting herself, and learning what a healthy relationship actually felt like from the inside out. Christina went on to join my team, helping enroll and support my other coaching clients. And now? She's married to her husband Joey, living proof that the other side of anxious attachment is very, very real. In this episode, we discuss: Where Christina was emotionally and physically when she first reached out—and what led her to enroll in the coaching program What she got out of the coaching program, including the self-care foundations that changed everything What holds most people back from seeking help (hint: it's rarely money or time—it's fear) What it actually felt like to date while healing, including the moments she caught herself slipping into old patterns and chose differently How she met Joey, what was unmistakably different about that relationship from the start, and how they made the decision to move in together just months into dating Why two anxious attachers can have a deeply secure relationship—and what that looks like day to day Whether Christina considers herself secure now, and her honest answer about where anxious attachment still shows up in her life What she would say to the version of herself sitting on that mattress on the floor Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment: Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com (https://www.crackliffe.com/) Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy (https://www.crackliffe.com/needy) Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit (https://www.crackliffe.com/starterkit) Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching (https://www.crackliffe.com/coaching) Follow @crackliffe on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/crackliffe/) and TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@crackliffe?lang=en) for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment Keywords: anxious attachment healing, anxious attachment success story, anxious attachment recovery, healing anxious attachment, secure attachment, attachment style transformation, anxious attachment coach, anxious attachment in relationships, anxious attachment and dating, how to heal anxious attachment, anxious to secure, secure relationship, healthy relationship

Inside a recent episode

How Safe Relationships Help Us Heal ft. Jessica Baum, LMHC

Published 26 Oct 2025 · Transcript excerpt

[…] If I said yes, you can do this all on your own. The truth is we really, really need people in order to start to heal these deeper wounds. Connection is a biological imperative. I think you may even mention that almost verbatim in the book. Yeah, it's so important for people to hear that though because there's this insistence in our culture which is hyper individualized as it is and our state of politics shows us this, I think very clearly in the United States. But that said hyper individualization and the obsession with needing to be independent and carry all of this on your own can actually be more harmful than helpful. […]

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

21 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

20 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 47 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

73

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

51

Contact Needy No More

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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