The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

About The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

Welcome to Anxious to Secure - the podcast for anyone who feels anxious in love and wants to feel calm, confident, and connected. If you’re chasing an emotionally unavailable (Avoidant) partner… If you’re attaching out of fear, not love… Your relationship is running on survival mode. (I’ve been there - and it can change.) 🤍 I’m Jula: an anxious attachment coach + certified life coach. In just 6 months, I became a more secure version of myself 🫳🏻🎤 Now I help you stop overthinking every text and feel safe, even when your partner pulls away. If you’re tired of the doubt, panic, and never feeling enough: this is for you. Let’s get you into your Secure Era. 🖤

Publisher

Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

Category

education · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

15 Nov 2024

Latest episode

26 May 2026

Latest episodes

137 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   26 May 2026

   135: Your avoidant partner doesn’t prioritise you…UNLESS you do THIS.

   grab your daily anxious-to-secure rewriting protocol so you no longer freak out when he pulls away. If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship right now, with your dismissive avoidant partner… this episode will feel like a mirror 🪞💔 Because you have communicated your needs.You’ve tried to explain.You’ve tried to get closer. And somehow… they shut down more.They pull away.They get defensive.And suddenly you feel like you’re competing with their work, friends, sport, routines… even their DOG 🐶⛈️ Here’s the truth nobody explained clearly: It’s not that you don’t matter.And it’s not that they don’t love you. It’s a nervous system dynamic In this episode, I break down: ➞ Why avoidant partners pull away when you try to get closer➞ Why “trying harder” actually creates MORE distance➞ Why your anxiety gets activated so fast (and feels SO real)➞ The hidden childhood wound behind “I’m not a priority” 🩹➞ What actually makes your partner feel safe enough to come closer➞ And how to start shifting the dynamic without chasing or shutting down You’ll start to see something important: Your partner isn’t prioritising “against you”…they’re prioritising what feels emotionally SAFE for them 🖤 And your nervous system is reacting to what feels like abandonment…even when the situation is not what your younger self experienced 🌪️ I also walk you through the first step of emotional self-regulation that helps break the cycle in real time — especially in those moments when you feel triggered, anxious, and ready to reach for reassurance again. This is where everything starts to change 🧘🏼♀️🌈 Not by controlling them.But by learning to come back to YOU first. Because when you stop chasing safety externally…the entire relationship dynamic starts to soften If this episode hits home, you’re not alone in it. Change starts here.Thought by thought. Action by action. Episode by episode xx Jula DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

2. 

   19 May 2026

   134: 5 signs you’re in a toxic cycle with a dismissive avoidant partner (and how to break it)

   GRAB here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away! If you keep overthinking texts, chasing reassurance, and feeling stuck in a hot and cold relationship… this is for you In this episode, Jula breaks down the 5 signs you’re stuck in an anxious attachment + dismissive avoidant toxic cycle and why it feels SO hard to leave even when you want to You’ll understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, why “just leave” doesn’t work, and how your attachment style is driving the push and pull dynamic 🔮 Most importantly, you’ll learn the first steps to start shifting from anxious attachment into a more SECURE, grounded version of you This is about breaking the cycle, calming relationship anxiety, and finally feeling SAFE in love again ON SALE: SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away! CHAPTER: 00:00 Understanding Toxic Cycles in Relationships00:55 Sign 0101:41 Sign 0202:53 Sign 0303:51 Sign 0405:18 Sign 0508:20 Why leaving the Avoidant is NOT the answer08:56 How to HEAL anxious Attachment when he pulls away10:12 The Secure Woman Protocol DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

3. 

   12 May 2026

   133: How to break the anxious avoidant cycle (without chasing HIM))

   Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away! How to break the anxious avoidant cycle without chasing him ❤️🩹 In this episode, I share why anxious and avoidant couples get stuck in the same painful push and pull cycle and how YOU can finally break it without begging for reassurance, overthinking every text, or losing yourself in the relationship If your partner pulls away, needs space, shuts down emotionally, or becomes distant and your brain instantly spirals into “Is he leaving me?” this episode will help you understand what’s really happening underneath your relationship anxiety. I'll break down how abandonment fears, anxious thoughts, emotional triggers, and nervous system reactions create the anxious avoidant cycle and why chasing usually pushes an avoidant partner even further away. You’ll learn how to self-soothe, challenge anxious thoughts, communicate your needs in a healthier way, and start becoming more securely attached instead of emotionally dependent on reassurance from your partner Perfect for anyone struggling with anxious attachment, fear of abandonment, overthinking, clinginess, avoidant partners, emotional dependency, or feeling constantly anxious when their partner needs space xx🎙 with Jula,  your anxious to secure attachment coach CHAPTER: 00:00 Taking Control of Your Emotions01:09 How the Anxious Avoidant Cycle Starts (not what you THINK)04:10 The MOST important part how YOU can interrupt the cycle12:03 How to REFRAME your thoughts when triggered12:37 How to feel calm when he pulls away ON SALE: SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away! DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

YouTube views

26,858

Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.0 / 5

3 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 78 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

94

Social presence

94

YouTube

76

Engagement

31

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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