28 Oct 2026
Why You're Facing Challenging Elementary Student Behavior
Every early childhood and elementary classroom has the student who throws the pencil box, hides under the table, or says no before the directions are finished. Most educators answer the same way every time: redirect, consequence, repeat. Before long, the loop runs the room and the adult inside it runs on empty.
Dr. Ilana Nankin and Beth Schreiber make the case that the loop fails because it only responds to what is visible. Underneath an outburst, a shutdown, or an apology offered just to make things stop is a young nervous system outside its window of tolerance, asking whether it is safe here and whether it belongs. Regulation, in that light, is not silent hallways and hands behind backs. It is safety.
What works instead is a four step sequence, usable one piece at a time or as a whole: regulate, relate, repair, reconnect. Regulation comes first, through practices taught proactively so students can reach for them in hard moments, such as 3 Collective Breaths to open morning circle, Sun Breath to reenergize after lunch, and Shake It Out to discharge stress. Relating means naming the feeling under the behavior while holding the boundary. Repair uses Honor Intention, Own Impact and the Peace Process so students learn to resolve conflict themselves.
Reconnection asks the most of the adult. The students with the hardest days are often the ones who hear the least appreciation, at school and beyond it, and changing that takes deliberate, constant effort. Ilana and Beth are candid that these practices from the Human Intelligence framework are still daily work in their own homes.
If the loop has you wondering whether you can keep doing this, you can. What feels like running out of patience is usually a missing sequence, and a sequence can be learned.
BEST MOMENTS:
Regulation is not silent hallways and hands behind backs. "It's compliance. And that is not what we do."
Four-year-olds checking in as "proud and joyful" and "inspired and connected," thanks to a classroom emotion wall built from their own faces.
"The humanity in me can still access the humanity in you," and how to hold a boundary without losing the student.
A peace corner so well practiced that the tattling stopped within two months.
Calling home about the one good thing, even on a six-outburst day: "positive bragging behind the back."
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
How to recognize fight, flight, freeze, and fawn in the classroom, and what each state needs
How to match a regulation practice to the moment: grounding, energizing, or releasing tension
How to use the 2 Word Check In to grow young students' emotional vocabulary
How to hold a firm boundary while a student still feels understood
Use Honor Intention, Own Impact and the four step Peace Process to turn conflict into repair
Build daily appreciation for the students who hear it least
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
00:00 - Introduction to Disruptive Behaviors and Teacher Burnout
02:11 - The Four R Framework: Regulate, Relate, Repair, Reconnect
09:32 - Step 1: Regulate and Understanding the Nervous System
20:25 - Implementing Classroom Regulation Practices
30:26 - Step 2: Relate Through Empathy and Boundaries
37:28 - Step 3: Repairing Harm and the Peace Process
48:50 - Step 4: Reconnect by Affirming and Building Trust
54:59 - Conclusion and Breathe For Change Master's Program
HASHTAGS:
#ClassroomManagement #SocialEmotionalLearning #EarlyChildhoodEducation #ConflictResolution #Belonging
#RelationalIntelligence #BreatheForChange
