Unmasking

About Unmasking

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism? This trauma-informed podcast helps women with complex PTSD heal the lasting impact of childhood attachment wounds from parents and caregivers so you can finally release survival patterns, rebuild self-trust, and create relationships rooted in authenticity, confidence, and emotional safety. Listen each week to learn how to: • Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout. • Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small. • Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth. **Ready to begin your healing? Start with the rebrand episode of Reclaiming Me: E66: Why You Can’t Heal Your Attachment Style Without Trauma Work (The Truth Behind the Rebrand of Reclaiming Me). ** I'm your host, Cindy Payne—a licensed professional counselor, certified yoga teacher, and C-PTSD survivor—offers a new episode each Monday, and a Wednesday Midweek Reframe teaching a practical skill or concept, so you can reduce the impact of C-PTSD symptoms and improve relationships. Work With Me: Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Connect With Me: Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast explores the real, human side of growth — from navigating anxiety, imposter syndrome, and codependency to rediscovering presence, confidence, and authenticity. Through honest conversations about vulnerability, leadership, and letting go, we dive into the balance between purpose and rest, mindfulness and action, boundaries and connection. Together, we unpack the layers of trauma, stress, and exhaustion that keep us from fulfillment, and explore how healing begins when we choose awareness, compassion, and alignment over overwhelm.

Publisher

Cindy Payne

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

5 Jul 2024

Latest episode

14 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

158 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   14 Oct 2026

   E156: Stop Rescuing, Start Healing: People Pleasing After Parentification

   Your chest tightens, your attention snaps to someone else's mood, and you're already planning how to fix it. What if that rush to rescue isn't a flaw, but a reflex you learned as a kid, and one you can learn to pause? This minisode follows our full episode on parentification and CPTSD with a practical skill. In this episode, I talk about: How to recognize the body signature of the caretaker reflex The "Whose Is This?" check: whose problem it is, what you're being asked to do versus what you're about to do, and what you need The difference between being responsible to someone and responsible for someone Language you can borrow for supporting someone without taking over, buying time, saying no, and talking to yourself Why guilt shows up when you do something new, and how to start with small, low-stakes practice A small experiment in receiving Imagine having a pause button for the moment you'd normally leap in to rescue, and words ready when you need them. You'll leave with a simple three-question check, a handful of phrases that sound like a person and not a script, and permission to care without carrying. Press play, and this week, practice catching the reflex. Notice where it shows up in your body, and try one question from the Whose Is This check. Then share the episode with someone who's always the strong one, and listen to the full episode on parentification if you haven't yet. If this was helpful, leave a rating or review so more survivors can find this community. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.c (http://cindypayne.com/)om Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

2. 

   12 Oct 2026

   E155: Parentification and CPTSD: When You Were the Parent in Your Own Childhood

   You're the one everyone leans on, the first to notice when someone's upset, and the last to ask for help. Nobody hurt you, you were just "so mature." What if that role wasn't a personality trait at all, but something you learned to survive? A listener asked me to unpack parentification, a term we hear a lot in the therapy world but don't always fully understand. In this episode, I talk about: What parentification actually is, the difference between practical and emotional versions, and how it differs from kids helping out How culture and context shape the picture, and why it can be a source of both pride and pain Why it happens, and how intent and impact can both be true How parentification connects to complex trauma, attachment, hypervigilance, the fawn response, and self-abandonment Common ways it shows up in adulthood, from over-functioning and burnout to people pleasing and trouble receiving The grief and guilt that can come with naming it, and why guilt is often loyalty Seven gentle steps toward healing, including learning the difference between being responsible to someone and responsible for someone Imagine having language for the pattern you've lived in your whole life, without shame or blame. You'll leave this episode with a clearer way to recognize parentification in yourself, a lot more compassion for the child who took on the role, and a sense of where to begin when you're ready to set some of it down. Press play, and then try one small experiment this week. A few times a day, ask yourself, "What do I need right now?" and see what comes up, even if it's just a glass of water. Then share this episode with someone who has always been the strong one, and tune in midweek for the minisode on recognizing the caretaker reflex and the language to use. If this resonated, leave a rating or review so more survivors can find this community. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.c (http://cindypayne.com/)om Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

3. 

   7 Oct 2026

   E154: Why Fixing Everything Feels Safer Than Feeling It

   You make the plan, build the system, and do everything "right," and you're still exhausted. If you're a trauma survivor and a recovering people pleaser, what if the thing you keep trying to fix isn't a problem to solve at all? This minisode is a follow-up to my conversation with Luke Richardson on work burnout, where we touched on technical versus adaptive change. Today I want to slow down and unpack it, because so many of you told me it stuck with you. In this episode, I talk about: The difference between technical change (a known solution you can learn, like something you could google) and adaptive change (no existing solution, uncomfortable to name, and asking you to show up differently) Why a technical tool can't do an adaptive job, using burnout as an example Why trauma survivors so often reach for the fix: control once meant safety, looking outward for answers feels safer than self-trust, emotion was something to solve instead of feel, and uncertainty can feel dangerous Why that reach for the fix is an old protector doing its job and not a character flaw A simple practice called Pause, Name, Wonder for noticing the urge to fix and getting curious about what is actually being asked of you Why softening doesn't mean becoming a pushover, and why adaptive change heals best in relationship and community Imagine being able to catch the moment you start white-knuckling through something and ask, "Is this a technical problem or an adaptive one?" You'll leave with language for why you've leaned on planning, performing, and pleasing, a lot more self-compassion for that pattern, and one small experiment you can try this week. You don't have to overhaul your life to begin. Press play, then try Pause, Name, Wonder the next time you feel the urge to fix, plan, or please your way out of a feeling. Take one breath, ask whether it's technical or adaptive, and get curious about one small experiment. Then share this episode with someone who is white-knuckling through something right now, and let me know what you notice. Resource mentioned Credit: The technical vs. adaptive change framework was introduced to me by Ali Shapiro of Truce With Food. For more information on Ali's work: https://www.trucewithfood.com/ If this episode resonated, leave a rating or review so more survivors can find this community. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.c (http://cindypayne.com/)om Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

10 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

13 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 49 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

65

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

81

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