Welcome to Fly to Freedom, the podcast dedicated to uncovering the truth about anorexia recovery. Having lived with anorexia for 40 years, I know firsthand the struggles, fears, and misconceptions that come with it. If you'd like to know my story, the best place to start is episode 126. This podcast isn’t just about my story—it’s about understanding the illness, challenging harmful beliefs, and finding real, lasting freedom. With expert guests and deep conversations, we explore the psychology of anorexia, the roadblocks to recovery, and the hope that healing is possible.
Fly To Freedom: Healing from an eating disorder
Claim This Podcastby Julia Trehane
4.8(88 reviews)
161 episodes
Updated Daily
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Podcast Overview
Welcome to Fly to Freedom, the podcast dedicated to uncovering the truth about anorexia recovery. Having lived with anorexia for 40 years, I know firsthand the struggles, fears, and misconceptions that come with it. If you'd like to know my story, the best place to start is episode 126. This podcast isn’t just about my story—it’s about understanding the illness, challenging harmful beliefs, and finding real, lasting freedom. With expert guests and deep conversations, we explore the psychology of anorexia, the roadblocks to recovery, and the hope that healing is possible.
Language
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Publishing Since
3/22/2023
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Recent Episodes
July 7, 2026
Somatic Healing, ADHD & Eating Disorder Recovery with Beverley Atkins
<p>In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by <strong>Beverley Atkins</strong>, a Guild Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner and founder of <strong>Pauseture</strong>, a somatic movement platform helping people reconnect with their bodies through gentle, guided movement.</p><p>This conversation feels especially important for anyone navigating <strong>anorexia recovery, eating disorder recovery, compulsive exercise, body mistrust, or nervous system dysregulation</strong>.</p><p>Many people in eating disorder recovery spend years trying to think their way to healing.</p><p>Trying to understand more.<br>Trying to control more.<br>Trying to get recovery “right”.</p><p>And yet the body can still feel unsafe, uncomfortable, noisy, or impossible to trust.</p><p>What if healing does not always begin with thinking harder?</p><p>What if healing can begin by learning to notice the body differently?</p><p>Beverley shares her own deeply personal story of growing up in a larger body, beginning dieting as a child, and spending decades trapped in yo-yo dieting and all-or-nothing patterns around food.</p><p>In her 30s, that shifted into extreme exercise.</p><p>She completed <strong>three marathons in 18 months</strong>, countless triathlons, and eventually <strong>Ironman Hawaii in 2009</strong>.</p><p>Looking back, Beverley now understands how <strong>undiagnosed ADHD</strong> shaped much of her experience.</p><p>The food noise.<br>The hyperfocus.<br>The perfectionism.<br>The all-or-nothing patterns.<br>The nervous system dysregulation.</p><p>Everything made more sense through that lens.</p><p>In 2014, while working at Facebook in a high-pressure environment, her body forced a stop when her back gave out completely.</p><p>That crisis led her to <strong>Feldenkrais Awareness Through Movement</strong> — a gentle, audio-guided somatic practice she initially tried for pain relief.</p><p>What she found was something much deeper.</p><p>This work gradually transformed her relationship with:</p><ul><li>Her body</li><li>Food</li><li>Exercise</li><li>Emotional regulation</li><li>Safety</li><li>Self-awareness</li></ul><p>In this conversation, we explore:</p><ul><li>How eating disorders disconnect us from the body</li><li>Why compulsive exercise often becomes a coping strategy</li><li>The link between ADHD and disordered eating patterns</li><li>Why meditation can feel unbearable for dysregulated nervous systems</li><li>How somatic movement offers a gentler doorway into healing</li><li>Why curiosity is one of recovery’s most powerful tools</li><li>The difference between body judgement and body awareness</li><li>How the brain rewires through novelty, attention, and safe exploration</li></ul><p>One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is Beverley’s perspective on body image.</p><p>She explains that healing did not begin with loving her body.</p><p>It began with something much simpler.</p><p><strong>Paying attention without judgement.</strong></p><p>Not fixing.<br>Not forcing.<br>Not criticising.</p><p>Just noticing.</p><p>And sometimes that neutral attention is where healing begins.</p><p>This episode is especially for you if:</p><ul><li>You feel disconnected from your body</li><li>Rest feels uncomfortable or frightening</li><li>Stillness makes you anxious</li><li>You struggle with compulsive movement or exercise addiction</li><li>Recovery feels stuck in overthinking</li><li>You long to feel safer in your body</li></ul><p>Recovery does not always require more force.</p><p>Sometimes it asks for less.</p><p>Less fighting.<br>Less judgement.<br>Less performance.</p><p>And more curiosity.</p><p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/pauseture/?utm_source=chatgpt.com">@pauseture</a><br>Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Pauseture/?utm_source=chatgpt.com">Pauseture on Facebook</a><br>Website: <a href="https://www.pauseture.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com">Pauseture</a></p><p>If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who may need it.</p><p>For deeper support in recovery, come and explore <strong>The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</strong>, my recovery membership offering expert guidance, practical tools, courses, workshops, and compassionate community support.</p><p>You can also find me at <a href="https://www.juliatrehane.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com">Julia Trehane Coaching</a></p><p>Thank you for listening.</p><p>With love,<br>Julia x</p><p>Connect with Beverley Atkins</p>
June 23, 2026
Groundhog Day Recovery: Why You Keep Ending Up Back Where You Started
<p>Groundhog Day Recovery: Why You Keep Ending Up Back Where You Started</p><p>How many times have you told yourself that <strong>tomorrow will be different</strong>?</p><p>Tomorrow you’ll eat properly.<br>Tomorrow you’ll stop compensating.<br>Tomorrow you’ll stop negotiating with the eating disorder.<br>Tomorrow you’ll finally do recovery “right.”</p><p>And yet somehow… you end up back in the same place.</p><p>The same thoughts.<br>The same rules.<br>The same exhaustion.</p><p>If that feels familiar, this episode of Fly to Freedom is for you.</p><p>In this solo episode, I’m talking about one of the most frustrating patterns I see in eating disorder recovery — making progress, only to quietly undo it later.</p><p>I call this <strong>Groundhog Day recovery</strong>.</p><p>It’s that exhausting experience of trying so hard to recover while repeatedly finding yourself back in familiar behaviours — restricting, compensating, over-exercising, body checking, tightening rules, or promising yourself that tomorrow will be the day everything changes.</p><p>In this episode, I explain why this happens and why it has far less to do with willpower than you may think.</p><p>I’ll help you understand how your nervous system becomes attached to familiar patterns, even painful ones, because familiarity feels safe. I also explore why eating disorder behaviours are rarely just about food. More often, they serve a deeper purpose — creating safety, control, certainty, protection, or identity.</p><p>Most importantly, I introduce one of the most powerful concepts in recovery:</p><p>This is the moment after you do something brave — perhaps eating more, resting, challenging a rule, or allowing discomfort — when anxiety rises and the urge to “fix” everything becomes intense.</p><p>That is the moment where the loop either continues… or begins to break.</p><p>Recovery doesn’t require perfection.</p><p>It asks for something much simpler — and much harder.</p><p>To stay with discomfort for just a little longer than you normally would.</p><p>That is where change begins.</p><ul><li>Why eating disorder recovery can feel like living the same day on repeat</li><li>How the brain and nervous system become attached to familiar suffering</li><li>Why compensatory behaviours can feel temporarily relieving</li><li>The hidden purpose behind repetitive recovery patterns</li><li>Why the eating disorder loop often protects you from deeper fears</li><li>How to identify your personal <strong>reset moment</strong></li><li>Why courage is only needed for the <strong>next step</strong>, not the entire journey</li><li>How small interruptions create lasting change</li></ul><p>If you keep asking yourself:</p><ul><li>Why do I keep ending up back here?</li><li>Why do I keep undoing my progress?</li><li>Why can’t I stay committed to recovery?</li></ul><p>I want you to know something important.</p><p>You are seeing a pattern.</p><p>And patterns can change.</p><p>Inside <strong>The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</strong>, I teach a deeper workshop called <strong>Groundhog Day</strong>, where we map out your personal recovery loop, uncover what is driving it, and begin interrupting the cycle with real support.</p><p>Inside <strong>The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</strong>, you’ll find:</p><ul><li>24/7 community support</li><li>The <strong>Feelings Navigator</strong></li><li>Recovery courses including the <strong>Fear of Weight Gain Course</strong></li><li>Monthly live Q&As and coaching support</li><li>Practical tools to help prevent relapse and move beyond quasi-recovery</li></ul><p>Join <strong>The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</strong> here:<br><a href="https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join?utm_source=podcast" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</a></p><p>Explore the <strong>Feelings Navigator</strong> here:<br><a href="https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/how-are-you-feeling?utm_source=chatgpt.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Feelings Navigator</a></p><p>If this episode resonated, please follow the podcast and leave a review.</p><p>One different choice in one difficult moment can begin changing everything.</p>
June 9, 2026
2026-14 - Q&A: When Eating Disorder Recovery Feels Terrifying - Fear of Weight Gain, Compensating, Trauma & Choosing Recovery
<p>Recovery can feel deeply uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and at times utterly terrifying. But what if that discomfort is not proof that you are doing recovery wrong… but evidence that your brain and nervous system are learning something new?</p><p>In this Q&A episode of Fly to Freedom, I answer real questions from members inside <strong>The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</strong> about some of the hardest and most honest parts of eating disorder recovery.</p><p>Together, we explore what happens when recovery feels wrong, why fear of weight gain goes far beyond appearance, how trauma can shape restriction and people-pleasing patterns, and what it really takes to keep choosing recovery when everything inside you wants to run back to what feels familiar.</p><p>In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I talk about:</p><p>✨ How to keep choosing recovery when the unfamiliar feels terrifying<br>✨ Fear of weight gain, body changes, and the sensory experience of living in a changing body<br>✨ Autism, sensory processing, clothing struggles, and feeling physically uncomfortable in recovery<br>✨ Trauma, emotional abuse, people-pleasing, and why boundaries can feel so difficult<br>✨ Binge eating, extreme hunger, refeeding, and understanding the difference between biology and pathology<br>✨ Compensating behaviours, exercise, food rules, and how recovery rewires the brain<br>✨ Why community and nervous system safety matter so deeply in eating disorder recovery</p><p>One of the questions explores something I do not think we talk about enough in anorexia recovery and eating disorder recovery: the felt experience of weight gain. Not mirrors. Not scales. The physical sensation of inhabiting a body that feels different — clothes touching differently, movement feeling unfamiliar, heightened body awareness, and the intense sensory experience that can come with body changes, especially for autistic people.</p><p>I also answer a powerful question about childhood trauma, emotional responsibility, caregiving, and restriction — and why recovery sometimes involves grieving the love, safety, or acceptance that was never fully received.</p><p>We also explore one of the most misunderstood parts of eating disorder recovery: binge eating, extreme hunger, and what happens when a previously undernourished body finally begins asking for what it genuinely needs. I unpack the difference between biological refeeding responses and binge eating disorder, and why context matters so much when understanding hunger in recovery.</p><p>And I share parts of my own recovery journey too, including how I challenged compensating behaviours, stopped compulsive exercise, responded to intense hunger, and allowed my body to repair after years of deprivation.</p><p>If you are struggling with fear of weight gain, compensating, uncertainty, body discomfort, trauma, binge eating fears, or simply trying to stay committed when recovery feels terrifying, I hope this episode helps you feel seen, understood, and less alone.</p><p>I am Julia Trehane, specialist anorexia recovery coach, and after fully recovering from decades of anorexia, orthorexia, and exercise addiction, I now help others navigate the emotions beneath an eating disorder to create lasting freedom. If you would like to find out more about me and my work, please visit <a href="https://www.juliatrehane.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer"><strong>https://www.juliatrehane.com/</strong></a></p><p>If you would like more support, deeper conversations like these, live coaching, workshops, courses, and a compassionate community of people who truly understand what recovery is like, you are very welcome inside <strong>The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle</strong>.</p><p>Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle here:<br><a href="https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join">https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join</a></p><p><br></p><p>If you would like more instant support, for free, I recommend my new app - <a href="https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/app-landing" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">The Eating Disorder Recovery Companion. Click for more info on that. </a></p>
161 total episodes available
Recent guests on Fly To Freedom: Healing from an eating disorder
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Dr Cristina Castagnini
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Sarah Rzemieniak
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Julia Trehane
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Lucy Aphramor
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Jennifer Cox
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